Expecting the worst from him wasn't really fair to Owen though. I decided to suss him out and see where he stood on a few things before making a decision on him, especially one that would affect us all so much. If we decided to trust Owen with our secrets, and that was a huge if, there was no going back from that.
"How do you feel about Abraham?" I carefully asked him.
Owen was so focused on Jonathan that he didn't even look up at me. "He's our alpha. What's not to like?"
There was a lot, but I couldn't exactly say that without giving away how I felt about the man ruling our lives.
"He's better than some alphas, less so than others," Owen continued quietly.
I cocked my head to the side and considered what he'd said. "How is he less good than your other alphas?"
Owen pursed his lips. And then he shook his head. "I shouldn't speak badly of our alpha. Forgive me. I meant no disrespect."
Whether he had or not wasn't the issue. The disrespect was there all the same. But I couldn't exactly tell him that and actually be honest with him at the same time. So I sighed and wished I could tell him the truth. That would make things so much easier. Being able to trust someone outside of Helena and Lily would have been a nice change.
"How's your relationship with the alpha?" Owen asked me after a few moments.
I hated that I had to lie to him, so I skirted around the truth as much as possible. "He is my alpha. We all love the alpha." It was what we were expected to say, whether I really believed it or not.
Owen let out a soft sigh. "Yes, I suppose we do."
He got up and went to go get a glass of water for both of us. "Thanks," I said, taking mine from him. He smiled at me and I wished that I could relax around him and not see him as such a threat to all of us. Either he was a spy, and therefore we had to be extremely careful around him like I was being now, or he really was just there to help us out and he didn't like Abraham any more than we did. I didn't know how to get to that line of questioning with him though. Even if I could believe whatever he did end up telling me.
"You look troubled." He took my hand on top of the table and if he'd been a woman, I would have considered it to be a gesture that any good omega would have made while they were trying to ease the pains in the pack. But with Owen, I couldn't be sure. I let my hand linger under his far longer than I should have before I pulled away from his touch.
"I'm tired is all. New baby and all that." I hated blaming Jonathan for my issues as well. He was a great kid. Better than I deserved really.
"Many arranged matings have stress attached to them," he said wisely.
I nodded. "Helena and I certainly don't always get along."
"But it does help that you have your sister here. She seems to be a good friend to you both. Not many families have someone like her to come and step in to help smooth things over. Or, if they do, they are often mated out as well."
I sipped my water and thought about what he'd said. "Lily was mated to someone, but it didn't work out. Though I'm sure she was disappointed in that outcome, I am glad to have my sister back and she and Helena are very close. And we all love Jonathan very much." But all of that would be changing now. I was tired, but not tired enough to have forgotten that I was about to lose my sister.
I wondered if I'd said too much, but Owen just nodded along with me. "Do you have any questions for me about matings or children or anything? I've helped families like yours before. Many of them. Maybe I have some insight or some solutions that you haven't considered yet."
"Are you a spy for Abraham?" Maybe it was the stress of having a stranger in our house, or the fact that I wasn't sleeping well, or that I would be saying goodbye to my sister soon, but the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Owen froze beside me. "You outrank me in this pack. If you command me to tell you the truth then I will." His voice was quiet, as if he realized that our conversation had veered into treasonous territory.
"I command you to tell me the truth. Were you sent here to spy on us for Abraham?"
My heart sank as Owen gave me a simple nod.
"What did he hope to learn?"
Owen looked to me. I didn't look away, but he quickly did. "Abraham wishes to know what is wrong in your mating. He senses that things are not quite right. If you two need to be remated then I believe he is considering that."
My fingers turned into claws in my anger, and I dug into the soft wood of the dining room table before I could control myself. Being remated would ruin all of us. Lily was already going to some strange man, then Helena would, and Jonathan would become Abraham's to raise as he saw fit. Being remated was the worst outcome for all of us and I would not let that happen.
"You won't find out anything from us. We are a perfectly fine couple." I stood up and lifted Jonathan into my arms. I wanted to say more. I wanted to know where he stood in all of this. But I was tired, and I wouldn't risk Helena, or Jonathan, if I said too much. I was already losing my sister. I couldn't lose the rest of my family as well.
He rose as well. "If you did have a secret…if you had a plan that would help yourselves…then I would help you."
I had no reason to believe that, so I didn't. "Try to get some more sleep." I took Jonathan upstairs with me and laid him back down in his crib. With a stranger in the house, I wasn't at ease. I'd woken up with another man holding my child and that wasn't something I was going to be okay with anytime soon. I knew Owen's place here. He was an omega. He was simply there to take care of us, and that included Jonathan. But he was also Abraham's spy, and though I was glad to have his honesty in that matter I wasn't comfortable trusting him completely.
I sat on the sofa in the nursery where Helena had spent long hours nursing our son. I'd fallen asleep plenty of times there as well. But before I could rest I sent Helena and Lily a text, letting them know we had a spy in our midst.
Tell him nothing, Helena texted me back almost immediately. She didn't have to tell me that, but I was glad she was on the same page as me. She was being rational at least. Helena could have just as easily wanted me to kill him. I wouldn't have done it though, and she likely already knew that too.
I wanted to be human, but that was impossible. I would have settled for living on our own outside of any pack, but that wasn't how we were. Someone had to be the alpha and if I'd had the choice, and if a woman could have been the alpha to begin with, I would have chosen her.
We need a plan to save Lily, Helena continued.
I knew that we did, but without overthrowing Abraham I had no idea how to do that. I need to talk to her, to them both, but with Owen around to listen in on us I didn't dare say anything. We needed a way to be able to talk to each other with him there. Come to the nursery.
A few minutes later she was there sitting on the couch with me. She took my hand and we sat in silence for a long time. She'd been crying. I wanted to cry as well.
"We need to kill Abraham," she whispered.
"I know. I thought we could just run, but there really is no other way than this. Killing him would free us."
"It would also free Lily," she reminded me.
I nodded. I didn't want to see my sister mated off to someone either. "We'll do it when we go to take her to him. That gives us a little more than a day to plan. Should we kill Owen too? He may try to stop us."
He could, and maybe he would, but I didn't think we needed to be worried about him. He was an omega after all. They didn't generally tend toward violence. "I don't think he'll be a problem for us."
Helena gave me a dark look. "You aren't actually trusting him, are you? He's a spy for Abraham!"
"I know that," I hissed at her. She needed to keep her voice down.
After a moment she nodded, then she laid down beside me. I put my hand on her shoulder, then she started to fall asleep. I was tired too, but I wanted to stay up for as long as possible. Right that moment the four of us were still together and I wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.
We would kill our alpha. I couldn't let Lily be handed off to someone else either. The chances that she would be happy, in love, and well taken care of were absolutely none. She needed to stay with us if she had any chance at a future at all.
I looked at her, and then I thought about Lily, and I thought about Jonathan, and I even thought about Owen. Under Abraham, none of them had their freedom. None of them had any say in their lives. That wasn't the world that I wanted for any of them, especially not my son. "I need a plan and I think you probably have one." I didn't think that she was still awake, but I was glad that she was when she answered me.
"You're right. I do. But no matter what it is, no matter how foolish it seems, I need to know that you'll follow me."
"You want to be the alpha," I suddenly realized. I'd always assumed that she had wanted me to be the new alpha.
Helena pursed her lips. It wasn't something that we'd ever talked about. "I suppose I do."
"I'd follow you as my alpha." I knew that without a doubt.
"Good. You would make an excellent beta. Now, go get some rest."
I did as I was told. It was surprisingly easy to follow her orders. I realized then that I'd been doing it all along.
CHAPTER FOUR
Owen
I'd thought that Thomas was more alpha material, but that was before Helena came downstairs and I saw her as she really was and not the meek wolf she pretended to be for Abraham's benefit. Thomas lowered his head for her, and I automatically did the same. Lily was upstairs. I didn't know why she wasn't joining us and I didn't ask. It wasn't my business.
"Hello," I said. I'd made them French toast. There wasn't much else available in the house, but they'd had a dozen eggs and a half-eaten loaf of bread. I'd need someone to take me to the store sometime soon if they wanted to keep eating. Maybe they ate out a lot more than they ate at home though.
"Thank you for breakfast," Thomas said as he sat down and pulled a plate toward himself.
Helena said nothing, but she began eating as well. She looked to me often, and then to Thomas, as if she was deciding something for herself, but I wasn't sure what it could have been, and I didn't want to ask. What went on in her head wasn't any of my business.
"What time are you planning to go back to Abraham tomorrow? I'd like to get to the store to get some more food for you all. I can come up with a list and be ready to go shortly if you'd like," I offered.
I thought it had been a safe question to ask the two of them, but as soon as I'd spoken Helena pushed her food away. Thomas too looked as if he was done eating.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled.
I didn't expect an apology from either of them. They hadn't done anything wrong. But I didn't expect Helena to go back upstairs either. Thomas sat there across from me, looking lost and upset. I reached out to him, offering whatever comfort I could give him for whatever he was possibly going through. He looked at our joined hands and then at me.
"You don't have to be sorry. Losing Lily is weighing heavily on Helena and me."
I could understand that. I got up from my chair and took the one beside him instead. I leaned against him, offering whatever support and comfort I could give him. It wasn't much. And I knew that. But I wanted to help however I could.
Thomas leaned over and ran his cheek over my temple. It was a simple gesture, just affection from one wolf to another, but it had been a long time since anyone had given me something so gentle.
"We're in a tough spot right now," he said.
I knew he was putting it mildly. "I wish I could help."
"The only way for anything to be helped would be if Abraham wasn't our alpha."
He was bordering on treason with his words, but I wasn't going to say that. I couldn't remove Abraham from power and I couldn't make him not take Lily away from them. I could, however, hopefully ease him for a little while. I put my hand on his thigh, offering him what I could, but he only laced my fingers with his. It wasn't a rejection, not really anyway, but after years of being used I wasn't sure how to take Thomas's gentleness with me.
"We could go upstairs instead," I offered. Maybe it was the openness of being in the kitchen that bothered him about my offer. Maybe he would let me ease him in the privacy of a bedroom.
But Thomas shook his head. "Thanks, but I don't think sex would solve anything right now and besides, I'm not someone who has ever been okay with taking an omega. You offer because you think you should, not because you actually want to. I'd like your company, but nothing more than that."
I wasn't sure what to say to that, but he was right, I'd been offering to make him feel better. It had nothing to do with myself. "Thank you," I mumbled. It was the wrong thing to say. Thanking him for not taking me to bed implied that every other time that someone else had was wrong. I hadn't meant that. And yet, I'd said it anyway.
"You're welcome. If something happens here soon, something that changes things for us, I hope you'll stay. I know you're Abraham's spy, and I'm trying to wrap my head around that, but do you actually want to spy on us for him?"
If I said that I didn't it would mean that I didn't want to do something that my alpha had told me to. It would mean that I disagreed with my alpha's orders. But telling him that I wanted to report back to Abraham about every little thing that they did was a lie and I couldn't lie to someone who was superior in my pack. I was at an impasse. "I don't know how to answer that."
"I demand that you tell me the truth."
It was such a quiet command, but there was nothing gentle about it, despite the tone of Thomas's voice. Someone higher up in my pack than me was ordering me to do something and because it didn't go directly against what Abraham had said, I had to do it. If Thomas had told me not to spy on them I wouldn't have been able to do that because my alpha's orders would always go above anyone else's. But this was different, so I told him the truth. "I don't want to be his spy."
Thomas gave me the gentlest of kisses on my cheek. "Good. Thank you. I understand that you'll report back to him if you see anything worth mentioning. You're an omega. I know that you can't refuse one of his orders. But it's good to know that you don't actually want to run around reporting on us. We'll just be careful about anything we don't want Abraham knowing and you can take that to mean whatever you'd like to."
I didn't want it to mean anything. He was nice to me and I didn't want him to be in trouble. "If you're doing something that he wouldn't like, I wish you'd stop. I don't want to have to tell Abraham anything that he could use to hurt you with."
Thomas continued eating, but he was no longer leaning against me as much. "I have a sister. He already has everything he needs to hurt me with."
"You still have a son, and a mate," I quietly reminded him.
He stopped eating for a moment. Maybe he was considering what I'd said. But then he kept going, taking big bites of the French toast until he was done with his. Then he went on to Helena's as well. I'd made everyone a plate of food, including some for Jonathan. But since apparently no one else was coming down Thomas ate them all. I only had my portion left, which I quietly ate with him, until all of the food was gone and there was just a pile of dirty dishes left.
I looked to the sink and found him looking there as well. "I can do them," he said. "Will you go upstairs to see if Helena or Lily need anything?"
"Of course."
I quietly left him. I didn't want to leave him with the dishes, and if he'd told me to go outside and do nothing for a while I would have insisted on staying, but he'd given me a task and I was going to do it. I found the three of them upstairs in the nursery. They'd been talking, but as soon as I came to the open doorway they stopped. Jonathan was on a blanket between them.
"Yes?" Helena asked me.
I hesitated in the doorway. Clearly, I'd interrupted something, but I had no idea what it could have been. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. Thomas sent me up to see if there was anything I could help with."
"There's not," Helena said,
quickly dismissing me.
But then Lily reached over and took her hand. "Helena, let him stay. Let's get to know him. He'll be a big part of your lives now."
Helena looked angry by that, though if it was because of me or because Lily would be leaving now that I was there to take her place I didn't know. I wasn't sure how to reassure any of them either. I'd seen my fair share of mated couples and most were not happy, especially as young as they all were. It was the older ones that seemed the most at peace with their arrangement. They were no longer expected to raise children, so their mating was more for companionship than anything else, and more often than not they had stayed away from each other whenever possible.
"May I?" I asked Helena, who sighed and waved me into the room.
I knelt down near them and offered Jonathan a toy, which he eagerly took from me.
Lily straightened out his shirt. "He likes oatmeal and pudding. Lots of pudding. And he loves cereal. We get him the natural stuff as much as possible. As much as we can afford to anyway. And—" her voice broke as the tears came through.
I reached out and rubbed her back. Helena came over and put her arm around her as well.
"I'm sorry," I said. I wanted to be more help, but I had no idea what to say to ease this pain of theirs. Maybe in a few years they'd see each other again. When Abraham had a meeting with everyone in it. They could have a few minutes together then. It wouldn't be much, but it would be something. I tried to put myself in her position though, and I realized that would have never been enough for me. If I was higher up in the pack maybe I could have asked for her myself, but I was older and no longer the prime wolf that someone of her age would be given to.
"It's not your fault," Lily said as she wiped away her tears. "I know you'll be around and you'll help take care of him. He'll grow up well in this house and then, when he's older, hopefully you'll find yourself with another young couple with a child to help take care of. That's what omegas do, isn't it?"
Unwanted Omega Page 3
