by Keeland, Vi
I stalled for a good half an hour, taking Marmaduke on a long-ass walk, until Birdie said she needed to go to the bathroom. Arriving back at the house, I hesitantly opened the front door. Birdie’s sleeping bag and pillow were exactly where I’d left them. I glanced around—the house seemed quiet. While Birdie ran off to the bathroom, I peeked into the kitchen. No sign of Sadie. So I went to the bedroom and the master bath. Both empty. On my way back out to the living room, I noticed my dress shirt folded in the middle of my bed—the one she’d been wearing this morning, the one she’d worn to sleep last night.
She was gone. I blew out a sigh of relief, and my shoulders relaxed. Though while I was glad to protect my daughter, a part of me felt like shit for letting Sadie leave without having said anything to her. Especially after what had gone down last night. She deserved better than that.
So after I called Birdie’s doctor to make an appointment to get her eye checked, I let my phone charge for a little while and then decided to send a text to Sadie.
Sebastian: Sorry about the abrupt departure. Birdie came home early with pink eye. I’m taking her to the doctor now.
A few minutes later, my phone dinged with a response.
Sadie: No problem. I completely understand. Good luck at the doc!
I debated addressing what had transpired between us last night, but what the hell would I say?
Thanks for letting my drunk ass grind against you.
I don’t want to shower so I can keep your smell all over me.
Figuring sometimes it’s just better to leave well enough alone, I typed something innocuous.
Sebastian: Thank you. Talk soon.
Then I set my phone back on the charger.
I forced myself to take a quick shower and shave before getting ready to take Birdie to the doctor. Inside my closet, I grabbed the first shirt on a hanger that my hands touched, then went to my dresser to get a T-shirt for underneath. But the folded shirt on the bed caught my eye again.
I shouldn’t.
That would be fucked up.
Looking at my closed bedroom door, I stood five feet away, staring at the goddamn thing as if I went too close, it might bite me.
But the damn thing taunted me even from a distance.
Touch me.
Smell me.
Wear me.
Just once won’t hurt.
I tried to ignore it, but then I started to reason with myself.
I should probably just smell it once. See if it needs to be washed.
Yeah . . . that’s what I should do.
Of course that made sense.
One sniff.
Just one sniff.
I walked over to the bed and picked up the shirt and brought it to my nose. Inhaling deeply, the smell of Sadie permeated my senses. It smelled exactly like her.
Fuck.
Fuck me.
I inhaled a second time.
Though I should’ve listened to myself . . . Just one sniff . . . because the second time . . . Birdie busted through the door, catching me red-handed with my face nuzzling the shirt.
Her brows drew together. “What are you doing, Daddy?”
“I . . . uh. I was just making sure my shirt was clean.”
She giggled. “Is it?”
“Umm. Yeah. I guess so.” I stood there staring at her.
“Do you feel okay, Daddy? You’re acting really weird today.”
“Yeah. I’m fine, sweetheart. Sorry.”
“Come on.” She held out her hand. “It’s time to go to the doctor.”
“Okay . . . just let me grab a shirt.”
“What’s wrong with that one?”
“It’s dirty.”
She laughed. “You just said it was clean.”
“Oh. Yeah . . . it is clean. It just . . . has a stain on it.” I wadded up the shirt in my hand and tossed it on the bed, picking up the one I’d taken out from the closet. “I’ll just wear this one.”
Later that evening, I was glad when Birdie said she was tired and going to turn in early. We were both wiped out from our slumber parties last night. I really needed to unwind, and I looked forward to going into my room, kicking my feet up, and watching some TV maybe. But after flicking through the channels and finding nothing, I decided what I really needed to relax was more than some stupid show. I needed a release.
So I got up and locked my bedroom door and slid open my end table drawer, where I hid lotion. Only when I went to grab it, there was a folded piece of paper sitting on top of the bottle. Thinking nothing of it, I took it out and unfolded it.
Dear Sebastian,
I had a great time last night. If you’re reaching into the drawer for what’s underneath this note, I hope you think of me while using it.
God knows I thought of you while I did my thing last night in your bed.
Love,
Sadie
P.S. You might want to wash the sheets ;)
CHAPTER 18
SADIE
Talk soon.
That’s what his last text had said. But apparently the two of us had different definitions of soon.
Five days and still no contact.
As if I’d suffered a loss, I’d gone through the stages of grief. At first I was in denial that Sebastian wasn’t going to contact me again. I’d checked my phone every twenty minutes, even though I had the volume set all the way up and my ringer also set to vibrate . . . you know, just in case he’d messaged or called when I fell asleep or something. I knew that Sebastian and I were looking for different things, but even a hookup deserved some gratuitous conversation after the fact.
After the first few days of silence, I’d gone on to anger. How dare he not call or message after that evening? I knew I’d been the one to initiate things, but he was more than a willing participant. The erection prodding at my hip was proof positive of that.
Then, on day six, contact had finally come. Sebastian’s number had popped up on my cell phone, and I got so excited that I fumbled it in my hands and dropped it on the floor—which resulted in the screen cracking. But hey . . . at least he’d finally called.
Only the voice on the other end when I’d answered wasn’t Sebastian’s at all. It was Magdalene’s. She’d called to make arrangements for my next training session because Birdie had been asking when I was coming. Apparently the man of the house was too damn busy to call himself.
After that, I’d moved on to the next stages . . . the ones that are supposed to come after denial and anger. I think those are bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But I’m not positive, because who am I kidding? I didn’t go to any next stage. Well, unless even more pissed off was the stage that came after anger.
Now here it was, Saturday morning, and I stood in front of the Maxwells’ brownstone ready to toss around a big attitude as I knocked for my weekly training.
Except when the door opened, it wasn’t Sebastian.
Or Birdie.
Or Magdalene, even.
It was a woman wearing a bathrobe who had her hair wrapped up in a towel.
She smiled at me and extended her hand. “You must be Sadie. I’m Macie. Seb told me you’d be here at eleven, but I seem to have lost track of time in the shower. His water pressure is incredible.”
Seb? Shower? I felt like I got kicked in the gut. All my anger suddenly vanished and I skipped stage three and went right to stage four: depression.
“Uh. Hi.”
The woman opened the door wide. “Come on in. Make yourself at home while I run and throw on some clothes.”
I nodded and followed her inside, even though all I wanted to do was turn around and leave. The woman walked down the hall . . . toward Sebastian’s bedroom. In a state of shock, I stood there staring after the door closed and couldn’t seem to move until she came back out.
“There, that’s better.” She walked out wearing a pair of tight jeans with a T-shirt and pulled the towel from her hair. Long red locks cascaded around her pretty face.
> “Birdie and Magdalene should be back any second.”
I blinked a few times, realizing I hadn’t even noticed that they weren’t here. “Oh. Okay. Are you . . . staying here?”
“Just until tomorrow. I hadn’t planned on coming. But it was such a nice surprise when Seb called and invited me that I just couldn’t say no.” She smiled. “I’m usually the one pushing myself on him.”
Jealousy pulsed through my veins, and I clenched my teeth. This woman obviously had no clue that just one week ago, I was the one sleeping in that same exact bedroom she’d just gotten dressed in. I couldn’t help but let her know that little fact.
“I hope he washed the sheets before you two . . .” I motioned with my hand toward Sebastian’s bedroom. “Before you two did whatever you did in there. Because my naked ass was all over them less than a week ago.”
The woman’s brows shot up. She started to say something when the front door flew open. Birdie and Marmaduke came racing in, making a giant ruckus. Magdalene walked in a few seconds afterward, out of breath. She smiled. “They raced for the last block. I’m no match for a ten-year-old and a four-legged runner.”
The redhead from Sebastian’s bed walked over and helped Birdie with her jacket. As soon as it was off her shoulders, she ran to hug me. I felt an ounce of vindication. At least Birdie liked me better.
“Sadie, can we work on roll over today?”
“Sure. Whatever you want.”
“Can Aunt Macie help?”
My brow furrowed. “Who?”
“Aunt Macie.”
A feeling of dread washed over me. The redhead walked over and put her hands on Birdie’s shoulders, looking down at her. “I didn’t get a chance to explain who I was yet, sweetheart.” The woman looked up at me. “Like my niece said, I’m her aunt.”
I closed my eyes. God, this can’t be happening. Please, please tell me she’s Sebastian’s sister. That’s the least you could give me, here.
Swallowing, I opened my eyes. “Sebastian’s sister?”
The woman shook her head back and forth. “No. His wife’s.”
I wanted to crawl into a hole.
After my training session with Birdie ended, Magdalene said she was taking her to a playdate at a friend’s house. I figured I’d slink out with them, even though I knew that I owed Macie an apology. But apparently I wouldn’t be getting off that easy.
“Sadie . . . do you have a minute?”
Damn . . . I’d been so close to the door. I sighed and nodded, then bent to hug Birdie goodbye and told Magdalene I’d see her next week.
When the door closed, I took a deep breath and turned around to face Macie.
“I’m so sorry about earlier.”
She smiled warmly. “How would you like a cup of tea or maybe some coffee?”
“Is it too early for wine?”
Macie laughed. “A girl after my own heart. Come, let’s raid Sebastian’s liquor cabinet. I’m pretty sure he has some Baileys that we can spike our coffees with.”
I’d been joking, but apparently Macie wasn’t. She went into Sebastian’s office, pulled out a bottle, and then headed to the kitchen to make two coffees and stirred in the creamy liquor.
Back out in the living room, we sat together on the couch.
“I’m mortified by what I said.” I shook my head. “I honestly don’t know what came over me. Obviously, I didn’t know you were his sister-in-law. I just saw you going into his bedroom to change, and you’d said you were usually the one pushing yourself on him and . . . I just . . . I’m so sorry.”
She waved me off. “No big deal. I get it. If I were in your shoes, I’d probably have done the same thing. Maybe worse. I once caught my ex-boyfriend cheating on me and yanked off his plaything’s bad extensions.”
I laughed yet still felt nervous. “Thank you.”
Macie sipped her coffee. “So . . . how long have you two been seeing each other?”
I shook my head. “We aren’t. Well, not really. We just . . . The other night we . . . And then . . .”
Macie put her hand up. “No explanation needed. My brother-in-law is a complicated man. I miss my sister something fierce, and I know she and Sebastian loved each other. But I know she’d want him to move on. He’s grieved long enough. I couldn’t help but notice that you and Birdie really seem to have a strong bond.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I think we do. I lost my mom when I was little, about her age actually. So I feel like I can relate to a lot of what she’s going through . . . the simple things . . . not having a woman to go clothes shopping with her, do her hair, just have those moments a girl and her mom have.”
Macie frowned. “I should’ve come down more often the last few years.”
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to imply she didn’t have you.” I felt my face flush with embarrassment. “I just keep putting my foot in my mouth with you today.”
She smiled sadly. “It’s fine. I just feel bad because you’re a hundred percent right. Sometimes the truth hurts to hear, but that’s not your fault. My niece is missing out on those moments with her mother and should have a woman role model.” Her eyes searched my face. “I saw that in you today. She looks up to you.”
“She’s a great girl.”
Macie caught my gaze. “She is. And I take it you like her dad?”
It felt really odd to be having this conversation with his dead wife’s sister, but she was being so nice after I was a total jerk. So I was honest. I nodded. “He’s a really great guy and a special dad.”
“Can I offer you some advice?”
“Sure.”
“If you think there’s something there . . . don’t be nervous to push a bit. A lot of men are afraid of commitment, but Sebastian isn’t one of them. He’s a for better or for worse kind of guy. Unfortunately, life gave him a few more worses than betters lately. The problem with him is, his decisions don’t just affect him, obviously. And he’s afraid to make decisions that might hurt his daughter.”
I smiled. “I did push a bit last week. And while we moved forward in that moment, he seems to have taken four steps away from me after it happened.”
“So if he took four back . . . then you take two forward and make him take two forward. Have you two been out on a date yet?”
I shook my head.
“Try starting there. Baby steps.”
I sighed. “I don’t know.”
Macie patted my hand. “You’ll figure it out. In the meantime, thank you for being there for my niece.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
We finished our coffees, and then Macie walked me to the door.
“Oh. One more thing . . . tomorrow I’m taking Birdie to brunch and a play in the city. It’s a surprise, but we’re seeing The Lion King. Just the two of us.”
I smiled. “That’s great. I’m sure she’ll love that.”
“Yes. We’re leaving about ten. We won’t be back until at least seven. Sebastian goes into the restaurant about three on Sundays. So he’ll be home all alone from ten to three.” She winked. “I thought maybe you might want to know that.”
The next morning, I kept going back through my conversation with Macie over and over again. Maybe she was right. In hindsight, my dad could have used a little push. He’d spent so many years worrying about doing the right thing for me and feeling guilty over moving on. I wish a woman who cared about him had pushed him a bit to find some happiness for himself.
So I took a deep breath and picked up my phone. Without allowing any further debate, I shot off a text and immediately hit “Send.” Except in my haste to get the message out before I changed my mind, I hadn’t noticed the typo.
What I’d meant to type was:
Sadie: Hey. Are you free? I was wondering if you could meet me this morning?
But what I’d actually typed was:
Sadie: Hey. Are you free? I was wondering if you could eat me this morning?
I shut my eyes and shook my head. I watch
ed the message go from Sent to Delivered to Read and started to laugh out loud. I’d been so grumpy this week that it felt good to not take myself so seriously. The little dots began to jump around and then stopped, then started to jump around again. I imagined what Sebastian’s face might look like after reading that text, and it amused the hell out of me. While I waited to see how he might respond, the ridiculousness of the last week just hit me and I cackled like a loon.
Though my laughter came to an abrupt halt seeing the response pop up on my screen. My eyes nearly bulged from my head, and I had to blink twice to read the text a second time.
Sebastian: Be here at eleven.
Oh. My. Freaking. God.
Did I just invite myself over for oral sex and he accepted?
I think I might have.
Is it possible he could have read my text as it was originally intended and not how it had been delivered with the typo?
I reread the short exchange one more time.
Sadie: Hey. Are you free? I was wondering if you could eat me this morning?
Sebastian: Be here at eleven.
It seemed pretty clear to me.
Though what the hell was I going to do now?
CHAPTER 19
SEBASTIAN
I kept staring at the text. She didn’t mean “eat,” did she? I laughed at the fact that I truly didn’t know. After that little note she’d left by my bed, I honestly couldn’t be certain if Sadie was being sexually blunt or not. I also couldn’t seem to decide whether I wanted her to have meant “eat.” What I was sure of? The thought of eating her made me hard as all hell.
The doorbell rang almost as soon as the clock struck eleven. I went to the door to greet her, feeling somewhat tense, especially given the thoughts that had just been running around in my mind.
Sadie looked gorgeous, dressed in a white wool peacoat. It was finally starting to feel like fall now. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold. Her hair was down in long, loose tendrils.
“Come in.”
Before I had a chance to say anything, Sadie just started talking—fast.
