by Heidi Lowe
Unfortunately Miranda did, and noticed immediately. "Go play the kids," she ordered.
Knowing that he'd screwed up, he didn't dare disobey.
"Men are disgusting sometimes!" she said, making a face. "Sorry for that, Miss Petal."
"For what?" Ava asked, completely oblivious. She settled down beside me, but made sure to keep some distance between us.
"Just my husband being a pervert."
"Oh." Ava shot me a cringing look, which I responded to with a clueless shrug.
"I keep telling him, whenever he brings you up, that you'll never be interested in him. That chances are you like your men with more hair on their heads, and less stomach." She cackled to herself and didn't see me and Ava exchange another look.
She doesn't like men, period, I fought back the urge to say.
"I think he's just being polite," Ava said.
"Unlikely. He's into you. They all are. Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable me saying that, but it's true. Isn't that right, Dani?"
I cleared my throat. "I'm not sure it's really an appropriate topic of conversation–"
"Oh relax, would you. Miss Petal's one of us now. We can tell her these things. I bet you girls talk about this stuff all the time when you meet up on your special little dates."
I knew Miranda, and I knew that she wasn't implying anything close to what was actually happening, but it still made me uneasy. I also wanted to save Ava from this. I loved Miranda and all, but she was as coarse as they came, unapologetic with it, and had no filter. I had a feeling that the day was on its way to becoming even more awkward for both me and Ava.
"The water's really nice, Dani. You should go for a quick swim," Ava said. I heard the desperation in her voice for a change of subject.
"Are you seeing anyone right now? Everyone's just eager to know. It would also stop a lot of the hounding at school if they knew that you were taken," Miranda continued. She'd never been able to take a hint.
Through the corner of my eye I saw Ava smirking. "My love life isn't nearly as interesting as people think it is."
Miranda sat up, intrigued. "Oh? What does that mean?"
"Well, it's all very simple. I am seeing someone, and I'm happy." She looked at me quickly, then added, "Very happy, in fact."
Miranda, thankfully, didn't notice a thing, because the look we exchanged was so telling. Ava might as well have just outright blurted the name of her lover to the whole beach.
But, her confession touched me. We'd said it to each other several times, that we were happy, but hearing her admit it to another person really brought it home.
"Ha! See, I told you, Fred, she's taken and very happy. Tough luck!" Miranda shouted to her husband, who was currently being buried in the sand by his daughter and Chester.
Miranda had made it her goal, it seemed, to embarrass him at every opportunity. I wondered how they'd stayed together so long. I certainly couldn't have been married to her for a day, let alone fifteen years.
He ignored her, looked away grumpily. I wasn't sure whether that was because of the news about Ava's relationship status, or because his wife was demeaning him in public.
"Dominic didn't want to come?" she went on, looking at me.
"Uh, no, he was busy." And wasn't invited.
How many awkward questions would she squeeze in today before I or Ava decided enough was enough and split? I prayed Ava wouldn't get too uncomfortable and leave. The beach had been my idea, and I didn't want it ruined for her. It had started off so well.
Miranda searched in her bag for something, chattering away about something she saw on television, and Ava leaned in and whispered to me, "I'm going to find a restroom. I think you should come too."
Beach restrooms were the filthiest, most insalubrious places on the planet, but anything beat sitting here with Miranda.
"Uh, Danielle, do you know where the restrooms are?" Ava asked.
"Over there. Wait, I'll show you. I need to go myself. Be back soon, Miranda. Are you all right watching Chester?"
She waved us away dismissively, thought nothing about our speedy departure.
We never made it to the restroom. Ava dragged me behind a wall, and we were alone at last. She snaked her tongue into my waiting mouth, and didn't come up for air until she'd stolen my breath from me.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," she said.
I stood in her embrace, a sort of relief washing over me now that we could finally be affectionate. I sniffed her in, kissed and sucked at her neck. I was insatiable when it came to her. Nothing else mattered but holding her in my arms.
"This wasn't how I envisioned the day going," I said.
She let out a laugh. "I know. It's a tad messy, but I'm still having fun." She kissed my face; I closed my eyes and felt each kiss fall. I knew we didn't have much time, and that soon we would have to return to the group. I wanted to savor every kiss.
"Let's just leave. Right now. We can go for pizza or something. I just wanted it to be you, me and Chester."
"Hey, don't worry so much. Miranda's funny. I do feel sorry for her husband, though."
"You just can't help seeing the good in everyone, can you?" I said, sulking a little.
"Isn't that one of the reasons why you like me?"
We stayed there a few minutes more, but then someone walked past and we separated quickly, before returning to the others.
I couldn't kiss her goodbye that day, because Chester was there. But I did risk a brief stroke of her hand. That had become our replacement kiss when we were around others. We'd gotten good at doing it surreptitiously.
"Did you have fun today, honey?" I asked Chester when we were in the car and heading back home. I looked at him through the rear-view. Worn out and covered in sand.
He nodded tiredly.
"Were you happy that Emma came?"
"Yeah." He peered out the window, then turned back and looked at me. "I was happy that Miss Petal came too."
"So was I. You like her, don't you?"
He nodded. "Can she come with us the next time we go to the beach?"
"We'll see." If it were up to me she would accompany us everywhere. It embarrassed me slightly to admit to myself that I'd fallen so hard and so fast that I couldn't bear the thought of spending a moment away from her.
Dominic was waiting in the living room, finishing up a conversation (that didn't sound very child-friendly) when we got home.
"Hey, champ. How was the beach?" he asked when he'd hung up.
I dreaded what was coming next, knowing my son would never be able to keep his mouth shut about our day, and particularly who had been there with us.
As soon as Chester mentioned Miss Petal, Dominic shot me a look.
"Miss Petal was there, was she?"
"Yeah. And we played in the sea, and she taught me how to do a breaststroke."
"Did she also teach you how to do a breaststroke, Danielle?" he said.
He knew! There was no way he couldn't, not after that question.
I swallowed, tried not to panic. He couldn't prove anything. As far as anyone knew, Ava and I were just good friends. Nothing more. And jumping to the conclusion that we were lovers would have made anyone look delusional.
I glared at him. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"You didn't tell me she would be there."
"There was nothing to tell. I didn't know she would be there either."
"I find that hard to believe."
"Believe what you want, Dominic."
He followed me into the kitchen. "Why is it that she seems to go everywhere you go? Do you ever do anything alone any more?"
"She's a good friend, someone I like spending time with. But of course you would have a problem with that, wouldn't you? You don't like the thought of me having fun."
"Depends what kind of fun we're talking about."
He definitely knew! Oh, God. How long would it take for him to come out and say it?
"Just leave me alon
e," I said.
"Let me make something clear to you, Danielle." He towered over me, a menacing look in his eye. "If you try to make a fool of me, you'll be sorry." That was his last word before he stormed out of the room, leaving me feeling unsettled, shaken.
FOURTEEN
The dress, though tighter than it had been when I'd bought it six weeks prior, was a good choice. A backless navy blue number that hugged me in all the right places, gave my boobs a perkiness they hadn't had since my twenties. As I looked myself over in the full length mirror in the bathroom, I couldn't help but feel slightly smug.
The black heels weren't new, though I'd hardly worn them. They fit snugly. Peeking out behind my hair, which I'd worn down, my new diamond earrings sparkled.
I felt good as I checked out my ass. Wrapped up nicely, like a Christmas present, ready for my secret lover.
But as I left the bathroom that evening, Dominic's face appeared at the bottom of the stairs, reminding me that this wasn't going to be that sort of evening.
"Wow. Look at you. Who are you and what have you done with my wife?" He couldn't take his eyes off me, which only made me roll mine. He'd had me for eights years, and now he wanted to acknowledge me? What an ass!
"I'm still the same person. You know, the wife you keep reminding to shift the baby weight." At one time even thinking this would have made me bawl, but now his words had no effect. What he thought of me no longer mattered.
"I'd say you've shifted it well enough. Little Dominic is very impressed."
I made a face to show my disgust at his reference to his manhood. How had I ever found him attractive beyond the physical? Had I really been that shallow?
"Are we taking your car or mine?" I said.
"Mine, if you don't mind."
He was being nice to me. I didn't trust him when he was like this.
I sighed. "Fine." We locked up and got into his car. "I can't wait till this is over."
"I don't think Chester would be pleased to hear you say that. He's put a lot of effort into this performance."
I cut him a look. What the hell did he know? I was the one who'd helped Chester with the costume, the lines, the dance moves. I wasn't even sure Dominic knew what the play was about.
"It's not the play I have a problem with. It's having to keep up this charade with you in public. The sooner that's over, the better."
"Can't you try for just one evening to be civil?"
He was right. I needed to make the effort. If he could do it then I could too. Besides, it wasn't all bad. I would get to see Ava, and I hadn't seen her in two days. I'd already gotten withdrawal symptoms from her kisses, her body, her scent, her taste. I needed a new dose of the drug that I'd become addicted to.
I smiled to myself just thinking about her. The first thing I would do when I got to the school was take her somewhere quiet and play a much-needed game of tonsil tennis.
"When did you get the dress? It's nice." Dominic peered back and forth between me and the road ahead as he drove.
"A few weeks ago."
"Expensive?"
Why was he trying to make smalltalk? We were past all that. We weren't friends, just husband and wife.
"It was worth it," I said simply, looking at him skeptically. What was this about?
"You didn't wear it for me." It wasn't a question, more an observation, and an unusual one at that. What did it even mean?
"I wore it for myself."
"Yourself. Right." He nodded, didn't look at me, just carried on driving. And we didn't speak for the rest of the drive.
I was thankful to be out of the car, away from the thick tension in the air. And as soon as we locked up, we made our way into the school. I should have known something was off, that Dominic was up to something. Instead of walking ahead or behind me, as he usually did when we went out together, he stayed by my side. Even opened the doors for me.
In the cafeteria, refreshments were being served. We said our hellos to some of the other parents we knew. Entire families had come out for the big performance. The place was packed.
"You look a million and a half dollars!" Beth said when she saw me. She looked me up and down, impressed. "Really working that dress. Where have you been hiding that body?"
I'd managed to ditch Dominic a couple of minutes later, but before I knew it he was back by my side. He put an arm around my waist.
"She looks great, doesn't she?" he concurred, and kissed me on the cheek with affection. More affection than he'd shown me in years.
Unfortunately, his timing was dreadful. It just so happened that as the kiss landed, Ava walked into the cafeteria. She spotted me immediately. The smile she'd been wearing slipped from her face.
"I'm going to have a hard time keeping my eyes, and hands, off her," he added, and wasn't quiet about it.
"Cut it out, Dominic," I said, trying to wriggle free without making it too obvious that his touch repulsed me. All our friends were in the room but so too was Ava. This wasn't a display I wanted her to see.
"What's wrong with you?" Beth gawked at me, flabbergasted. "Your husband can't keep his hands off you and all you have to say is cut it out. Some people don't deserve nice things."
Ava didn't come over, but instead greeted some of the other parents. All the while Dominic stuck on to me, as though glued to my side. He wouldn't let go.
"Shall we go say hello to Miss Petal?" he asked jovially.
"No," I said quickly. "I'll speak to her later maybe."
But it became apparent moments later that I had no choice in the matter. He practically dragged me over to her, his arm placed firmly around my waist. Why was he doing this to me?
"Good evening," he said to her.
She forced a smile, which didn't reach her eyes. I knew her well enough to know when she was faking it.
"Hi Mr. Thomas. Hi Danielle." She peered down at the hand gripping my waist, then back up at me. The look in her eye crushed me.
"We're really looking forward to the performance," Dominic said. "Proud parents, you know how it is. Even if he had one line, we'd be here cheering him on."
She smiled again, and I tried my hardest to pull away from Dominic without it looking suspicious, but it was no use.
"Oh, before I forget. I wanted to thank you for helping my wife pick this dress. I assume it was you, at least. Well, good job. Doesn't she look fantastic?"
"Actually, I had nothing to do with it. But yes, she does."
Dominic leaned forward and whispered, "Between you and me, I'm having a hard time simply looking and not touching. I think an early night will be in order tonight." He winked, and I felt his hand slip onto my butt.
Ava didn't even try to fake a smile this time. It was likely impossible. She'd seen the hand move too.
That was where I drew the line. I shoved his hand off. "Enough," I said through gritted teeth.
"Would you both excuse me?" She didn't wait for an answer, just hastened out of the room. I tried to go after her, but Dominic's grip on me was tighter than ever.
"You stay here, beside your husband." It was an order, and he didn't even look at me when he said it.
"What the hell was that?" I muttered, furiously.
He didn't respond, just led me away to talk to some more of our friends.
I didn't get to speak to her again before the show started, which meant I couldn't enjoy any of it. She was working behind the scenes, getting the children into their costumes, helping them with their lines and stage positions. I hated the thought that while she worked she had the image of Dominic's filthy hands all over me.
I sneaked away minutes before the end of the show, before Dominic could stop me or tag along uninvited. I needed to see her, to straighten everything out. I sent her a text to say I would be waiting in the parking lot. A part of me thought she wouldn't come, that she was so furious with me that she would leave me waiting there forever.
When I saw the doors open and everyone pour out, I knew she wasn't coming, and that I woul
d have to find her myself.
"Mom, what did you think of the play?" Chester came running out to greet me, Dominic not far behind him. The latter gave me a look I couldn't decipher. It was as if he knew I was waiting for Ava.
I embraced my son, squeezing him tightly. "It was terrific. You were awesome, honey. I'm so proud of you."
"I didn't forget my lines," he said gleefully. It had been a real concern for him that he would.
"I told you you had this in the bag." I ruffled his hair. "My little superstar. How about ice cream, huh? Beth said she's taking Jack too. We could tag along." Posing it as a question was pointless; what seven-year-old would turn down ice cream?
He climbed into the car, and I waited until Dominic had gotten in before announcing that I needed to use the ladies' room. Dominic cut me a scathing look, and I knew then that the whole charade earlier had been for Ava's benefit. He'd wanted her to see us like that, as a married couple; he'd wanted to hurt her. Which meant only one thing: he knew about us. I'd suspected for a while that this was the case, hearing his snide, ambiguous comments whenever he brought her up.
"Don't forget to wash your hands," he called after me, and I heard the bitterness in his voice.
Ava was in the middle of a conversation with another teacher when I knocked on her classroom door. Normally I wouldn't have disturbed them, knowing that I would get to see her later, at her place, uninterrupted. But this couldn't wait.
"Hi Miss Petal. Sorry to bother you. Do you have a minute?"
"I'm actually in the middle of something–" she started, but the other teacher cut in, said she would talk to her later, and left us alone.
"Why won't you look at me?" I said. Her head was still down.
"Honestly, Dani? Because I can't."
My heart shattered into a thousand pieces to hear her say that. Once she'd told me that she could look at me all day long and never have the desire to do anything else. Now this.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I rushed to her, took her hand, but it was limp in mine. She didn't want me to touch her. "I never wanted you to ever see that. It's Dominic, he's playing games. He wants everyone to think we're happy." I didn't tell her that he more than likely knew about us, and that his actions had been out of spite.
