by Adele Abbott
***
Winky was driving me insane. He kept pestering me to find a new receptionist; one who met his exacting requirements. To escape his constant nagging, I magicked myself to the Candlefield bus station.
“You again.” Mr Grimsdale greeted me with his usual happy smile. At least today he wasn’t wearing wellingtons with his pin-striped suit. Instead, he was sporting open-toe sandals. “I’m still waiting for someone to catch the thief.”
“I’m working on it. Do you keep a record of the departure and arrival times of the buses?”
“Of course.”
“Could I see them?”
“How is that going to help?”
“Humour me, please.”
He grunted a couple of times, but did eventually let me see the records I requested. Within a few minutes, one thing was blatantly obvious. The buses that had been involved with the robberies had all taken about fifteen minutes longer to complete the journey than the buses where no robbery had taken place.
And, I thought I knew why.
***
I’d called Amber in the hope that she could arrange for me to meet with William. As it turned out, he was with her; they were both at the dentist. I said I’d meet them back at Cuppy C.
Twenty minutes after I arrived there, Amber and William came in. Amber was smiling, but looked a little out of it.
“You look a lot happier than the last time I saw you.”
“I feel so much better.” She was struggling to speak. “I’m going to rinse my mouth out.”
“How is she?” I asked William after she’d gone upstairs.
“A lot better. She’s still a bit groggy at the moment, but the pain has gone—that’s the main thing. Amber said you wanted a word with me?”
“That’s right. The other day, you mentioned you used to go on the bus between Candlefield and Washbridge?”
“Yes, but that’s a long time ago.”
“Didn’t you say something about it going on the old route in those days?”
“Yes, that was before they built the more direct route. The old road was longer; it used to meander through the countryside.”
“Is the old road still there?”
“Yes, but hardly anyone uses it.”
“Do you think you could tell me how to find it?”
“Sure.” He took out a small notebook, and began to draw a simple map.
“William!” Amber called. “I think I’m going to have a lie down. Could you bring me a drink, and something to eat—something soft?”
“Sure. I’ll be straight up.”
William passed me the sketch. “What do you think she would like to eat?”
“Soup? Maybe some fruit—bananas are soft.”
“She won’t thank me for a banana.” He grinned. “She said her mouth tasted like bananas from the anaesthetic.”
“Bananas?”
“Yeah. It’s the Banacane that they use nowadays. It’s brilliant stuff. Knocks you out instantly, but when you come around you have a horrible taste of bananas in your mouth.” He stood up. “I’ll just take her some soup.”
***
I wanted to test my theory by following William’s map, but to do that I was going to need my car, which was back in Washbridge.
Once I’d collected it, I set out on the same route that the bus had taken, but I kept a lookout for the left turn, which William had drawn on his map. He would have made a great cartographer; the turn-off onto the old road was exactly where he’d drawn it.
I’d been driving along the old road for about two miles when I came to a tunnel.
Bingo! At long last, everything made sense.
I called Mr Grimsdale to ask when Ricky would next be driving the midnight bus from Washbridge.
He snorted something, but then confirmed it would be that very night.
My next call was to Maxine Jewell.
“What do you want, Gooder?”
“If you ever decide to quit the force, Maxine, you should seriously consider opening a charm school.”
“Cut the wisecracks. I’m busy.”
“I need you to meet me at Candlefield bus station tonight in time for when the midnight bus arrives.”
“I’ve had just about enough of your wild goose chases.”
“Just do it, Maxine. If I don’t deliver this time, I’ll drop the case.”
“You won’t need to drop it; I’ll kick you off it.”
“Fair enough. I need you to send two of your people to another location too.”
“You really are pushing your luck. Where?”
I met up with Maxine Jewell and three police officers at the Candlefield bus station just before one in the morning. The bus from Washbridge was due at any moment.
“What’s this all about?” Maxine demanded.
“Just wait and see.”
Before she could ask again, the bus arrived. When the passengers stepped off, they were all complaining that they’d had their valuables stolen. I stepped onto the bus and grabbed the driver’s rucksack.
“Hey! Give me that back!” He chased after me, desperately trying to grab it.
“I think you’ll want to see this, Maxine.”
I opened the rucksack, and inside, just as I’d suspected, was a gas mask. Maxine looked confused.
“This is your man, Maxine. Arrest him.”
“And charge him with what?”
“Robbery, of course.”
“Keep a hold of him,” she barked at one of the police officers. “You!” She grabbed my arm. “Come with me.”
Only when we were out of earshot of the other officers, did she release my arm.
“This had better be good, Gooder.”
“Good, Gooder? I like it!”
“You’re trying my patience.”
“He and his co-conspirator have been using Banacane to knock the passengers out.”
“What? How can you know that?”
“When I travelled on the bus, I fell asleep. I never do that when I’m on a case.”
“Says you.”
“For hours afterwards, I had a horrible taste in my mouth—just like bananas. It was the after-effect of the Banacane. That’s why he has the gas mask.”
“But where are the stolen goods? And how did he feed the gas into the bus?”
“He’s been taking the old road. If you’ve done what I asked you to, and put your men at the tunnel on that road, they will no doubt have apprehended his partner, and retrieved the stolen goods by now. They’ll probably have found the gas cylinders too.”
“Stay there for a minute while I check.” Maxine moved a few feet away, and then made a call on her radio.
“Well?” I said when she returned.
“Yes. They’ve arrested a man.”
“And the stolen goods?”
“They have those too. And they’ve found the gas cylinders and piping.”
“This is where you say thank you.”
“How did you know he’d been taking the old road?”
“When I took the bus, I was just about to answer a phone call when I lost the signal. It was because we’d stopped in a tunnel. The next thing I knew I was waking up in this bus station. When I followed the bus in my car I knew something was different about the journey, but it took me a while to figure out what it was. Then it came to me—we didn’t go through a tunnel. He must have suspected he was being followed that day, so took the regular route. The log times for the buses on which the robberies took place show a slightly longer journey because they took the old road. He and his co-conspirator piped gas into the bus while it was stationary in the tunnel, and then robbed the passengers while they were out of it. His partner took their swag off the bus while Ricky continued on his journey.”
“Take him to the station!” She shouted to the police officers. Then almost as an afterthought, she turned back to me. “Thanks.”
“Sorry. I didn’t catch that.”
Chapter 25
The next d
ay, I still couldn’t believe I’d actually got a ‘Thanks’ from Maxine Jewell. Wonders would never cease. I felt like celebrating. Mad had been pestering me to have a night out ever since she’d returned to Washbridge, so I called her, and said I was up for it if she was. Mad was always up for it—I should have known. We arranged to meet that night.
But first, there was something else I needed to do.
I’d had something on my mind ever since my brief meeting with my father. I needed to talk it through with someone otherwise I’d burst. And it had to be someone who could look at it dispassionately, so definitely not family.
I’d called Daze and asked her if she could spare me a few minutes. She said she could, but that she was working, and that I should meet her at a small, private airfield to the south of Washbridge. I readily agreed—I desperately needed to get this thing off my chest.
When I arrived there, it was deserted except for a couple of mechanics working on a small executive jet. They didn’t take any notice of me as I drove through the gates, parked, and then waited near the airstrip—just as Daze had instructed.
I was a few minutes early, and there was no sign of her yet. Then, I heard a noise; a small light aircraft was headed towards the airfield. I thought at first it was coming in to land, but then I saw someone leap out of the plane. I was mesmerised as I watched the skydiver plummet towards the ground. When the canopy finally opened, I could see that it wasn’t one person; it was a piggy-backed instructor and pupil.
Moments later, they made a perfect landing only a few yards away from where I was standing. The instructor was none other than Daze. The pupil uncoupled herself, thanked Daze, and then headed towards the main building.
“I take it this is your new job?” I was constantly amazed at Daze’s versatility.
“Yeah, but to be honest, it’s a bit boring.”
“Boring? Skydiving?”
“There’s lots of hanging around. It’s not as exciting as you might think. Have you ever tried it, Jill?”
“No, and I don’t intend to. Are you working on a case?”
“Yeah. We’re after a gang of wizards. We’ve had a tip-off they’ve been using this airstrip to bring in Whizzbang.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a type of confectionery made in Candlefield, but for some reason it has an inebriating effect on humans. It’s almost the equivalent of four beers.”
“And they’re smuggling it in?”
“That’s right. So Blaze and I are working undercover.”
“Where is Blaze?”
“He’s working as a skydiving instructor too. He’ll be on the next trip.”
“But surely he’s too small.”
“You’d be surprised. He’s okay with some of the smaller ladies.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
“Anyway, why did you want to see me, Jill?”
“You’re probably going to think I’m crazy but—” I hesitated.
“Go on.”
“I met with my birth father recently.”
“I’d heard he was back. I didn’t think you’d want to see him.”
“I didn’t, but then I bumped into him when we tried to get the jump on TDO at the Fleur Hotel.”
“What was he doing there?”
“That’s a good question. He said he’d followed me there to try to persuade me to talk to him.”
“You don’t sound convinced.”
“I don’t know what to think. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I’ve had this crazy idea, and I need someone to tell me that I’m not insane.”
“Go on.”
“Do you think it’s possible that my father is TDO?”
“TDO? Your father?”
“I know it sounds crazy.”
“It does a little. What makes you think he might be?”
“Apart from him turning up at the Fleur? Nothing really. But when I sat down and talked to him, the thought just popped into my head. The story goes that he dabbled with black magic, and fell in with a bad crowd.”
“It’s a long leap from there to him being TDO.”
“I know. But I need to be sure. That’s why I was wondering.”
“Go on.”
“There’s no way I can follow him. He’s bound to spot me, but—”
“You thought I could.”
“It’s a lot to ask, I know.”
“I think you’re barking up the wrong tree, but I can start to keep tabs on him as soon as we’ve finished on this case, if you like?”
“Thanks, Daze. That would be great.”
***
Mad and I had arranged to meet inside Bar Ten. I’d been there a couple of times before, but not recently. They’d obviously spent a lot of money on the place since my last visit; it was looking quite splendid.
“Jill, sorry I’m late.” Mad was out of breath when she arrived. The contrast between Mad and Madeline was unbelievable. In the daytime Madeline, the librarian, was all prim and proper in her woollen suits, with her hair up in a bun. But Mad, the woman in front of me, was the polar opposite. Her hair was down, and had a mind of its own. She was wearing a skirt which was little more than a belt, and a very low cut top. She looked hot!
“What’s that you’re drinking?” She pointed to my glass.
“Orange.”
“We are not drinking orange juice tonight. I plan to get hammered. I want to forget all about Washbridge Public Library. I’ve had my fill of stamping books, filing books, and logging books on the computer. I need something to numb my brain, and help me to forget about it.”
I knew better than to argue with Mad, so we both hit the hard stuff. But, there was no way I could keep pace with her, and I wasn’t even going to try. That girl could put drinks away like there was no tomorrow. I had one to every three she had, and yet I felt way tipsier than she seemed to be.
After a couple of hours in Bar Ten, Mad grabbed my arm. “There’s a new club not far from the library called Hunk. Have you heard of it?”
“I can’t say I have.”
“It’s in the old Palace building. You remember the Palace? We used to go there when we were teenagers.”
“Yeah, of course I do. What a dump that was.”
“It’s been completely re-vamped; it opened a couple of weeks ago. Shall we give it a try?”
It wasn’t really a question because she was already dragging me out the door.
The building was barely recognisable. Kathy, me, Mad and one or two others used to go to the Palace regularly. I’d met one of my first boyfriends there—another loser. But the building had been transformed. It was all glass and black metal. ‘Hunk’ was a strange name for a club, but the place looked nice enough.
Wow! It had better be good for that entrance fee.
The décor was amazing, and the music was buzzing. But there was something strange about the place. I just couldn’t figure out what it was.
Then it came to me.
There were hardly any men in the club. The few that were there were either working security or behind the bar. What was going on?
We’d only been there for a few minutes when the lights dimmed, and a spotlight lit up the stage.
“Ladies,” a voice came over the speakers. “For your pleasure and delight, we are pleased to introduce: All-Men.”
Suddenly, from behind the curtain, five men rushed onto the stage. Now, I understood why the club was called Hunk, and why the audience was predominantly women. The men went straight into their routine: gyrating, dancing, and then ripping off their shirts to reveal six-packs. The women near the front of the stage screamed and lunged forward. The men obviously knew exactly what they were doing, and managed to stay just out of reach.
“Let’s get a bit closer,” Mad said.
“No, I’m okay here, thanks.”
“Come on, Jill.” She grabbed my arm, and pulled me closer to the stage. Just then, the man on the far right of the stage, who was wearing a cowboy hat, caugh
t my eye. Why did he look familiar?
It was Jethro! Aunt Lucy’s ex-gardener. I knew he’d produced his own calendar, but I’d no idea he was now working in Washbridge in a male dance troupe. Just wait until I told the twins about this. They’d be green with envy.
Two hours later, and I was out on my feet.
“Come on, Jill. Let’s go on to another club,” Mad yelled over the music.
“I can’t, Mad. I’m sorry. I’m done for.”
“Come on. The night’s young.”
“No, you go ahead. I have to go home. I can’t take any more. I’m sorry.”
“Okay, then. Are you sure you don’t mind if I go off by myself?”
“Of course not. Go and enjoy yourself.”
***
Nobody told me it was raining!
When we’d arrived at the club, it had been fine, if a little chilly. Now, the heavens had opened. And did I have a coat? No. Or an umbrella? Of course not.
“Where are all the taxis?” I asked the bored-looking doorman. I’d expected there to be a line of them parked outside the club.
“They don’t turn up until just after two a.m. when it’s chucking out time. Hardly anyone leaves before then. Why are you going home so early? Had too much to drink?”
“No. I’m perfectly sober, thank you very much.” I hiccupped.
He grinned. “If you say so.”
I was. Well not entirely sober, but I knew my limit, and had switched back onto orange juice much to Mad’s disgust. I was just the right side of ‘merry’.
“Where will I get a taxi?”
“They’re all down on the high street at this time of night. Most of the late night bars turn out about now.”
By the time I made it to the high street, I would have looked like a drowned rat.
“Do you have a phone number I can call?”
“There’s two or three next to the payphone.” He pointed. “But you’re unlikely to get one any quicker. There are plenty of fares for them on the high street without having to come out of their way. Why don’t you go back inside until the show’s over? Those overpaid narcissists have another set to do yet.”
“I take it you’re not a fan of All-Men?”
