by Amber Lynn
Amber Lynn
Copyright © 2017 Amber Lynn
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.
Dedication
I want to thank everyone who has helped me get this book to where it is. From my “book wife,” as I’ve decided to call her, Diane, to all the people who have read part or all of the story and given me feedback. Many of you I know only by screennames, but of those I know there is at least a Booker and Nikki that I owe thanks.
No dedication would be complete without mentioning my very understanding husband. When I get in one of my writing zones, the rest of the world sort of disappears, so I may have missed a few important conversations over the years that needed to be repeated, but through it all, Bob has been there with me. Plus, he’s to blame for my obsession with hockey, so this book really is all his fault.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Chapter Twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-three
Chapter One
“We’re moving to Nashville.”
Jason Miller cringed after he said the words. He tried to say them as uplifting as he could, but it only came across that way in his head. The news hadn’t settled yet, and he could only imagine how his wife would react.
She loved the home they’d lived in for more than three years. He remembered the first time they saw the house. They hadn’t even made it halfway up the driveway before she declared they were going to buy the house. There was something about the canopy of cherry blossoms that shaded the drive that spoke to her.
When they saw the large white pillars of the two-story brick house, Jason knew there was no way he’d be able to talk her out of it, not that he wanted to anyway. The four-bedroom residence seemed like the perfect place to start the big family both of them had always wanted. After spending years living in it, the size of everything seemed a little more than necessary to Jason, but Kate still treasured the house.
Gazing across the dark granite-topped island in the middle of their kitchen, Jason’s eyes focused on Kate’s round stomach stretching the lavender t-shirt she wore. He was too afraid of the storm he knew would follow his words to look her in the eye.
Things had seemed a little off with Kate ever since she announced her pregnancy. It was hard to pinpoint exactly why she seemed distant. Jason assumed it was merely her hormones, though the thought was a little cliché for his liking.
Seven months was a long time to not know how the person you lived with would react to everything you did. The littlest things would set Kate off, causing Jason to feel the need to tiptoe around the wood floors throughout the house. They were heated, so at least his feet were warm, but everything else in the house was icy.
The quiet that made the golden walls of the kitchen seem to close in around Jason told him he was in for another fight. With Kate so far along, he worried about what the stress of the arguments was doing inside her body. She never complained about anything when it came to the baby, making that the only thing she didn’t complain about.
“Did you hear me?”
Jason hazarded a look up to Kate’s face to verify there wasn’t steam coming out of her ears. The paleness of her usually sun-kissed face was worrisome. Her blue eyes were looking in his direction, but Jason got the feeling she wasn’t focused on him. The lack of emotion on her face made it seem like she’d turned into a robot.
The apron she’d taken off and held in her hand when he’d entered the room had fallen to the floor, and Jason was thankful she’d already put down the cookies she’d removed from the oven a few seconds before he’d found her. He’d smelled the aroma of melted chocolate chips as soon as he’d walked through the door. Usually, the smell made him smile, but smiles had been few and far between for the couple.
“Of course I heard you,” Kate whispered.
The confused sound of her voice matched the look on her face. Jason had assumed she’d take things badly, but he hadn’t expected a total shutdown. The lack of an emotional response was worse than any of her tirades.
When she articulated what she was feeling, at least Jason knew her brain wasn’t liquefying. The catatonic reaction made it hard to know whether he should go to her and try to comfort her or stay five feet away and wait for things to settle in. His touch hadn’t elicited comfort for months, but he still had the reflex to try to use it.
The second he moved to slide around the center island, she held out an arm to stop his advancement. Shaking her head, the fire returned in her eyes and her other arm lifted to caress her belly.
“It’s probably best if you stay over there.”
Even with the glassy expression lifting from her face, a tired, almost resigned, expression remained. People talked about how a woman glowed when she was pregnant, but something about the pregnancy seemed to wear on Kate. Whenever he brought up the changes, she claimed it was all in his head.
Jason knew differently. He didn’t know what it was, but there was something wrong. She’d been adamant that he not come to any of the doctor’s visits. The command hadn’t sat well with him, so he’d tried to find out when they were and show up as the happy father to hold her hand. Kate apparently didn’t write any of the appointments down, though, and her friends were no help when he’d asked them.
The friends were in on whatever Kate was hiding and they were willing to help keep it from Jason. When he’d spoken to two of them, they claimed they hadn’t seen Kate in months, but Kate had told him once that they were in a group she met with for some book club every Wednesday night.
His imagination drove him to think that maybe his wife was an alien. It was easier to think up extreme situations than try to talk Kate into telling him what was really going on. Stomaching that reality was hard after the years of happiness they’d had before the baby came into the picture.
He lifted up his arm and ran it through his shaggy, chestnut-colored hair. He was in need of a trim, but with everything going on in his life, it hadn’t been a priority. Sighing, he let his hand fall back to his side.
“I think the move will be good for us.”
As much as they both loved the house and their lives in New York, Jason honestly thought moving was the best thing that had happened to them in a long while. That wasn’t the first thought that ran through his head when he was told he was being traded. It had taken most of the drive home for him to come to that conclusion.
When they first told him, hurt was all he could think about. He wasn’t the best hockey defensemen in the world, but he thought he did a pretty good job, and there was no doubt he put his heart into every minute of ice time he got.
“Ho
w soon before you leave?”
Jason had allowed himself to get caught up in the emotions he was going through, so Kate’s question surprised him. She sounded so calm, which sent a shiver up his spine. It wasn’t lost on him that she didn’t include herself in the question. A feeling of dread in his stomach started to take form.
“I have to be on a plane in a couple hours.”
Stepping forward, Jason put his hands on the cold granite. His flight hadn’t been booked, but he was supposed to report to Nashville so he could be there for a game his new team had scheduled the following day. He didn’t expect Kate to be on the plane with him. It was obvious it’d be a little difficult for her to just drop everything and head to the airport.
Jason figured he’d take a week or two to get the lay of the land and find them a place to live before asking his wife to join him. It wasn’t the ideal situation with her so far along in the pregnancy, but he thought it’d be more comfortable for everyone involved. Secretly he hoped a little separation would bring back the wife he knew and loved.
“Good. I’ll hire a moving company to pack up your stuff and get it down to you. It might take them a couple of days.” Kate’s eyes glazed as she continued to babble on. “It’s the dead of winter, so hopefully there isn’t a log jam of people waiting to move. If they were smart, they’d wait until summer, or at least late spring, to try to move anywhere. It’s dreadful being out in the cold.”
She turned around and started heading out of the room. Her motions were slow but steady. She was almost out of the room before Jason shook his head to clear the cobwebs away.
The fight he’d prepared for didn’t seem to be bubbling, which shouldn’t have worried him. It should have been great news. Kate had thrown a fit over the way he’d dried a dish after breakfast that morning, though, so he knew there was something not quite right with her tranquil reaction.
“Where are you going?” Jason asked as he jumped into action to follow his wife.
“I have to get the paperwork. If you sign it now, we can use this as a fresh start and both move on with our lives.”
The cold words brought Jason to a halt. His shoes slid across the recently-polished floor as he hurried to decipher what she’d said. Kate had been distant, but she hadn’t hinted she was looking to move on.
Jason’s arm reached up to the walnut wood of the doorway separating the kitchen from the dining room. He could see Kate’s long, honey-colored hair shaking as she rummaged around in her purse. Bag would’ve been a more accurate description of the large black thing she hauled around with her at all times.
There had been a time that Jason joked that she had a spare change of clothes packed in there in case she ever thought of running away. He groaned, thinking that maybe he put the crazy idea in her head with his words. It’d been over a year since their relationship was carefree enough for him to tease her, but he felt like kicking himself for letting the idea cross his mind, let alone sharing it.
“Here it is,” Kate said, twirling around.
Along with everything else floating around in his head, the way her lips curled up slightly around the edges led Jason to bite his lower lip. It was a habit he’d had when he was a kid that popped up when he was scared about test results or getting caught by his parents when he snuck in after curfew. Years had gone by since the last time he’d been as uneasy as he was standing in his own home.
The large yellow envelope symbolized the beginning of the end. Maybe it wasn’t the beginning. Chances were good by the way Kate was acting that it was just the end.
“I need to pack and catch my flight, so why don’t you save whatever’s in that envelope for when I come home early next week.”
The sudden need to find excuses to leave was strong, and thankfully, Jason had an excuse they’d already talked about in the bag. He had never been one to see the bright side of situations. When he’d been tripped up and hit the boards wrong, snapping his ankle in half, he’d thought his playing career was over. Kate was the one who’d nursed him back to health and told him he’d be back on the ice before he knew it.
The Kate standing across the room from him wasn’t the same Kate who’d been there to tend to his every need during the weeks it took for his bones to fuse back together. He could understand her changing some over the years, but he didn’t know what could’ve changed the love that was at the foundation of their relationship.
Kate shook her head at Jason’s idea. The slight smile she had turned down as she squinted her eyes. The angry look was one he’d gotten used to.
“No, Jason, you’ll take the envelope and look inside it now. I’ve been more than fair, only asking for the house. I don’t need or want a cent of your money.”
Tossing the envelope in his direction, Kate had made it clear the conversation was over. At least that was how Jason took her next action of walking out of the room.
“I think you’re forgetting about the fact that you’re pregnant with my child, Kate. I’m not going to walk away from my baby,” Jason called after her.
The news that she wanted a divorce didn’t come as a surprise. Jason even took in a deep breath of relief that maybe the days of tiptoeing would be over. He still loved her, but it was getting harder to live in a house with a person who clearly didn’t love him back. The move to a new city was the only hope he’d had in a while that they could maybe ignite what they used to have.
“It’s all in the envelope. I’ll get your essentials packed so you’re ready to leave when you’re done reading and signing. I’ve packed for you enough times that I’m pretty sure I can handle the task.”
Jason couldn’t see Kate anymore, but he imagined she dismissively waved her hand to the side as she spoke. It was a gesture he’d watched her pick up over the recent months. Everything he did or said was dismissed without more than the hand wave.
Bending down, Jason picked up the envelope Kate hadn’t been nice enough to hand to him. It hurt to go from being the man who hung the moon to just the guy she tolerated living with. Evidently, that toleration was over.
The weight of the envelope wasn’t physically much, maybe a few ounces; though it was heavy in Jason’s chest. He was afraid to find out what custody arrangements Kate had worked out in her infinite wisdom. It was clear she didn’t want to argue about them, but if it was anything less than joint custody, she was going to get a fight.
The cold metal clasps were easy to open. As Jason did so, he wondered how long Kate had had the papers waiting in her purse. She was a woman who loved to plan things out. Their wedding had been an affair two years in the making, so he assumed their divorce had comparable preparation.
There was a packet of papers waiting for Jason as he slid them out of the envelope. Reading the words at the top of the first paper in the pile unleashed ice through Jason’s veins. He sucked in a breath and bit hard on his lip as he pulled the paper all the way out.
Divorce papers were expected, but a DNA test wasn’t. Jason saw red when he looked in the alleged father column and saw one of his teammate’s name. Erik Jensen was more than just a teammate. He was one of Jason’s closest friends.
Seeing the numerous nines after the words “probability of paternity” caused Jason to start shaking his head and muttering no under his breath. He looked back to the top of the paper to see that the date of the test was in July. Kate had known for five months that he wasn’t the father of her baby.
He tried to think of any signs he missed that she and Erik were more intimate than friends. There was a chance the paper in front of him was just a ruse. Kate was conniving enough that after a little searching on the internet she could’ve found something to pass as a paternity test. He hadn’t thought that early in their relationship, but clearly, things had changed.
“I don’t see a pen fast at work on those papers. I left one in the envelope for you.”
Kate’s tone would make most people think she was trying to be helpful. Jason heard it as someone trying to rub salt in a wound.
“How do I know this paper is real?”
Jason wanted to question the results, but there was a part of him that had already resigned to it being true. He’d been excited about the prospect of being a father. The idea of losing the baby was harder to stomach than getting divorced.
He’d spent hours researching the best strollers and thinking about names. Kate had said she wanted to wait to find out the sex of the baby, but that didn’t stop Jason from picking out his favorite ones for both sexes.
“Do you want to call Erik and ask him? I can just hand you my phone and you can go through the thousands of texts we’ve sent each other. That would be quicker than bothering with the phone call.”
“When did you become such a shrew?”
There were other questions that should have been more important. Getting Kate to reveal some additional proof that the baby was Erik’s wasn’t a priority anymore. When he thought about it, there really wasn’t anything she could say that would be enough, so he’d moved on to the question he honestly wanted an answer to.
Jason looked up from the paper to try to read Kate’s face. He wished he hadn’t when he saw what appeared to be every cell of her rejoicing in his pain. In the few minutes she’d been gone, her lips had somehow become colored in with a scarlet red lipstick that Jason knew wasn’t for him.
The feeling of complete helplessness that burbled inside of Jason wasn’t one he’d ever felt before. He’d thought his day had started out bad when he heard about the trade, but that was only the beginning.
Rather than wait for the answer to the question he could’ve figured out on his own, if he wanted to be truthful to himself, Jason threw the envelope on the floor, walked across the room determinedly and grabbed the carry-on bag and matching navy suitcase Kate had next to her. When he felt the weight of both suitcases, he had to wonder how she’d carried them herself and exactly what she’d packed for him.
Without saying another word, he walked out of the house. Kate beckoned for him to come back and sign the papers, but generous was the last thing Jason was feeling.
