“Jamie, it’s Natasha. …From last night.”
There was a long silence, and I wondered if he hung up on me. I wouldn’t blame him, and I was just about to press the end button when he spoke.
“Well, I didn’t expect to hear from you tonight,” he answered. He didn’t add the “…or ever again,” but we both knew it was implied. I winced.
“Look, I’m sorry about how I acted,” I said. “It was rude and obnoxious. The truth is, I don’t like to spend a lot of time around other people, and to be honest…” I took a deep breath, not used to this level of candor. “…It kind of bugged me that I enjoyed your company so much.”
“Is that so?” I could hear his smile piercing all the way through the phone line. He sounded so damned cocky that I wanted to take back what I’d said, but I was over the cliff now, and I wasn’t going to back down.
“Okay, so let’s move on,” I continued in a rush, before he could say anything more. “I thought it would be nice to have you over tonight. Maybe around seven? I could whip up some dinner, and we could watch a movie, have a drink…” I trailed off, insinuating the rest with my silence.
He paused a long beat before speaking. “I see. Do I get to stay for the whole movie, or only part of it?”
I smiled. “I guess I deserve that. So is that a yes?”
“Yes.” There was no joking tone in his voice now, only that self-assured confidence that I’d recognized in him from the moment we met. I pictured his face as he spoke, and to my horror, I found myself giggling. God, this was so not like me.
“Great, see you then!” I chirped, and hung up before I could say anything more. I put the phone down hastily, and stood there staring at it for a minute in a kind of daze.
Okay, you did it, I told myself. Good job. Now, forget about it, and get a move on!
I hastily put some chicken in the oven, some rice in the rice cooker, and chopped up a quick salad. It was a bare-minimum meal, but I figured it was good enough on short notice. Besides, I didn’t want it to turn into an actual date, so I didn’t want to seem like I’d put too much effort into my preparations. I just wanted to be welcoming, warm, and apologetic for the way I’d treated Jamie the night before.
I went back to the bedroom and got dressed: nothing crazy, just a simple T-shirt and white pants. I thought about wearing a sexy black dress I’d picked up recently, but decided that tonight wasn’t the night for that.
All dressed and with dinner in the oven, there was one last thing to take care of. I picked up the phone again and called my travel agent.
“Yes, hello?” I said. “I’d like to book a round-trip ticket to the Bahamas, please… leaving in two weeks. …Yes, non-refundable. Definitely non-refundable.”
There. The hard-stop was in place. I breathed a little easier as I waited for him to come over.
I didn’t have to wait long. When the doorbell rang, I jumped – I couldn’t help myself. In that moment, I had a brief flash of anxiety, coming out of nowhere and surprising in its strength. Tasha, you don’t do this, I thought in a panic. It was true: I never saw the same man twice. It was against my policy. But tonight, I had a clear plan of action, and nothing would change that. With determination and resolve, I opened the door and welcomed him in with a smile.
“Hi, Jamie.”
Shit, I said to myself. He looked amazing. He’d dressed up just a bit for the occasion, in a simple sky-blue Oxford shirt that fit him perfectly, and a pair of dark jeans over dark brown leather loafers. Casual, clean, and classic. And to top it all off, he was wearing that same damn smile that I’d fallen for the first time.
“Hi, Tasha.” He politely kissed my cheek in greeting and followed me to the kitchen. I felt a twinge of awkwardness, just because I wasn’t as self-confident as I normally was. It was a strange feeling, being outside my comfort zone like this… and I couldn’t decide whether I liked it or not.
“Perfect timing,” I said, by way of conversation. “The food’s just ready.” I took the chicken out of the oven, and divided the food up onto our plates. “Sorry for not being more creative.”
He laughed and shook his head. “I’m a guy. Anything you put in my stomach is appreciated. This looks great, by the way.”
We chatted and laughed, keeping it on a friendly level, and I poured us some wine. Dinner went great – my initial awkwardness faded fast, and he somehow kept me at ease with his quick smile and relaxed manner. He was a great listener, and I found myself telling him things I never usually let on to guys: nothing too personal, just stuff about my childhood, funny stories I thought I’d forgotten about. By the time I looked up at the clock again, an hour had passed, and we’d finished our dinner long ago. We were well into our second glasses of wine, and the sun was setting outside my window.
“Hey, we’d better start this movie,” I said. “I didn’t notice the time. Here, I’ll clear up these dishes.”
I reached out to take his plate from him, but he caught my wrist and pulled me to him. I gasped as he kissed me, hard and demanding. It threw me off-guard in the most wonderful way; it wasn’t too often that I was surprised by a kiss. My body tingled in anticipation as I pressed against him, my stomach and groin igniting at once with desire. In an instant, the sexual tension in the room heated up to the boiling point.
I moved into him, letting his hands roam my body, and I drew him to a standing position, starting to walk backward and guide him toward my bedroom, our lips remaining locked, his fingers still exploring the skin beneath my shirt, at the waistline of my jeans. We bumped into the door frame, my sense of direction slightly off, and we both laughed as we continued to kiss and I righted our path, continuing until my knees hit the edge of my bed.
Successfully having reached my destination, I reached out and unbuttoned his shirt in a frenzy, each button frustrating me as I rushed to pull his clothes off. Finally the last button came undone, and I lifted his shirt over his head, my hands massaging his pecs and abs now bared to me. As I kissed him, he unbuttoned my blouse, pushing it from my shoulders. I gave him no time to reach for the bra, unfastening it behind my back and letting it fall so my breasts were exposed underneath my shirt. He kneaded them aggressively, and I moaned at the sensation.
As if on cue, we both reached for each other’s flies at the same moment. We shared a small laugh together at this unintended synchronization, looking into each other’s eyes. We kept laughing and kissing as we undressed each other, scattering pieces across the room with careless tosses. Completely unclad, with his erection firm and tall against his stomach, I reached out to grab it, stroking it and feeling the hardness and smoothness of it as he growled at the sensation.
His fingers were already between my thighs, finding my opening while rubbing my clit, and delving deep inside me so I cried out at a sensation so intense that it almost brought me to an instant release. His touch was electric, and he was persistent as he drove his fingers deeper and deeper inside me. I stroked his cock with a new hunger, feeling the closeness as our bodies responded in unison.
Finally, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down on the bed on top of me, the weight of him driving me crazy with the delicious scent of his body. I could feel his rock-hard erection pressing at the juncture of my thighs, making me salivate with need. I thrust my hips toward him, and he took the bait, nibbling at my lips and pushing back, rubbing himself along my clit and coating his cock with the natural lube from my body. I ran my fingernails lightly over his back, and he shivered, his dick quivering against me.
I spread my legs wide, wrapping them around his back and locking my ankles behind him, offering myself up to him. I stared into his eyes, and I saw a fire in his eyes that matched my own. He seemed to get the hint quickly, positioning himself at my opening and slowly beginning to work his way inside me with short, teasing strokes. I moaned as I moved with him, my hips meeting his as he grew harder and moved deeper inside me. I couldn’t help but cry out at the feel of him at he entered more fully, hittin
g my g-spot over and over with sliding movements and careful attention to his position over me. His body moved in waves above me, assuring each stroke was as good for me as it was for him.
I knew I couldn’t last long like this, and I dug my nails into his back as I welcomed the strong orgasm. I came in the next moment, the shockwaves rolling through my body like electrical bolts, hot and painful and delicious. On the heels of my explosion, as the walls of my pussy convulsed around him, Jamie sputtered a curse and his cum filled me, his whole body convulsing on top of mine, driving me to yet another peak that made his own release last longer. It was like our bodies were perfectly in sync, each driving the other to new heights of pleasure.
It seemed an eternity before we both calmed, our breath ragged and our bodies drenched in the sweat of heated sexual surrender. He rolled off me, lying splayed on the bed beside me, and we didn’t speak, comrades in the afterglow of excellent sex.
I finally broke the spell, feeling saucy, and asked him, smiling, “So… was it good for you?”
He laughed throatily, reaching for some of my hair and twirling it around his finger. He leaned in for a light kiss before responding. “Yes, yes it was. Was it good for you?”
I nodded in response, not wanting to put into words just how good. I wasn’t sure if this was for my own benefit, or for his – but right now, I just didn’t want to think about it. I felt those lingering doubts I had about what we were doing start to creep back into my head, and I forcefully shook them away. Not now, I told myself. Not just yet.
Without saying anything, I forced myself to my feet, reaching for my robe and donning it while I gathered the remote to my bedroom television, as well as pouring us each another small drink from my bedroom stash. He seemed a bit surprised by how suddenly I’d risen up from the bed, but he didn’t say anything.
“Just a second,” I said with a smile. “I’ll pour us a drink. You stay there.”
He looked at me with sincere curiosity behind a small smile as I brought him the drink and plopped down onto my bed, sitting back against the pillows and snuggling up against his body. “I have all the on-demand movie accounts in the world,” I said. “Take your pick.”
I knew I’d interrupted whatever post-coital, blissed-out moment normal people were used to, but I just couldn’t handle that right now. I could see the questions behind Jamie’s eyes, working in his mind, but he didn’t voice them – he only sat up and scooted back next to me, taking the drink I offered him. I was grateful for that.
“I’ve always been a fan of horror flicks, if you don’t mind.”
I smiled. “Sounds good to me. I love a good scary movie.” I flicked on the TV and brought up the selection of horror movies available, handing him the remote. “You pick – I’m down for anything.”
He scrolled through a few pages before settling on a horror movie I’d been eyeing for days but couldn’t decide if I wanted to watch. It was a good pick, and I smiled when he put his arm around me as the movie began. The movie was great, keeping our interest and making us each jump a few times with unanticipated frights. When it was over, Jamie tried to go in for another deep kiss, but I returned it with just a peck before pulling away.
“I’m going to get cleaned up,” I told him. He scratched his head, looking lost, and I knew he was wondering what was up with me.
“I guess I should be going,” he said, looking at me with a half-questioning glance. It was the moment of truth – and the truth was that I wanted him to stay the night.
“Do you want to stay here?” I asked him, trying to ignore the weight of meaning behind the words. “It’s getting late…”
I’d expected him to smile and accept immediately. But instead, his reply cut through me like a knife. “Do you have a spare bedroom?” he asked.
My eyes dropped. I knew why he’d asked it. I knew how weird I was being, how back-and-forth – intimate one minute, cold the next. But I couldn’t help it. And, worse, I didn’t know how to tell Jamie what was going through my head, my body and my heart. And even if I’d try to explain it, I doubted he’d understand.
“Jamie…” I began slowly, trying to choose my words carefully. “Do you think you could maybe sleep here tonight? …With me?”
He stared at for a long moment, letting out a low sigh. “Tasha,” he said, “You know I’d like nothing better. But I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on with you.”
I nodded, not really surprised by his question. “Look, I know I’m being a little weird right now. It’s like I told you on the phone… I’m not used to this, Jamie. I never let guys stay the night. So please, try to be a little patient… Can you do that for me?”
He stared at me for a long moment, then nodded. “I can do that.” He leaned over and gave me a short kiss. “Night, Tasha.” As if reading my mind, he settled down into his side of the bed and drew the covers up to his chest, as if to show he didn’t expect the intimacy of cuddling. The relief I felt at that moment made me feel a thousand times better about my decision.
Though still a little nervous, I took my side of the bed, leaving my robe on the floor beside me, and mimicked his actions, facing my side and pulling the covers up over my shoulder. It took a long moment to relax, knowing I wasn’t alone. Sharing the bed with Sam had come on the heels of exhaustion, making it easy to fall asleep and not think about it. In this case, I was tired, but my mind was still moving too fast to sleep easily. I eventually took note of Jamie’s even breathing rhythm, and I used that to lull me to sleep, confident that his slumber would keep the distance between us – and comforted a bit, as much as I hated to admit it, by the sound of a man sleeping next to me.
Chapter Six: The Questions
I awoke almost having forgotten I’d had an overnight guest, until the smells of coffee, bacon, and biscuits wafted into the bedroom. I got up quickly, wrapped in my robe, and headed to the kitchen, finding Jamie standing over the counter with his back facing me.
He stood there, bare-chested, wearing his jeans slung low on his hips, preparing plates for the two of us. When he heard me approach, he smiled at me over his shoulder. “Good morning.”
I yawned and sat down on a barstool. “Impressive,” I said, and I meant it. “What made you do all this?”
He shrugged. “It’s just something I like to do. It’s not just for you,” he added, winking. “I’d be doing the same thing at home alone. I eat oatmeal and yogurt six days a week. Sundays are reserved for indulgence. But I’ve got to tell you, you’ve got like nothing to eat around here. I made a quick trip to the supermarket… hope you don’t mind.”
I laughed lightly as he handed me a cup of coffee. “Well, I honestly appreciate it. I probably would have headed to the coffee shop or heated up leftovers from last night.” It was a strange feeling, having a man in my kitchen, and while it seemed okay with Jamie this time, I had an uneasy feeling that I would never be comfortable with something like this on a permanent basis.
But for now, I would put all those feeling aside, and try to just enjoy his company. This still counted as research for my next book… right?
Luckily, Jamie seemed to harbor no ill will or strange feeling from last night, and again we settled into an easy, fun conversation with no awkwardness to be found. He left quickly after breakfast, after helping me with the dishes – and to my surprise, I felt the slightest twinge when he stood there at the doorway.
“Well,” he said, standing there smiling at me, “I’ll see you when I see you, Natasha.” I knew he was teasing.
“Hey,” I said. “I’ll call you, OK? Just maybe not for a couple of days. I need to keep my distance, remember?”
He shook his head, but was still smiling. He reached his arms up to the top of the doorway, leaning in close to my face and looking into my eyes. Had his eyes always been so blue?
“Whatever you say, Tasha.” Another quick peck, a quick smile, and he was gone. I watched him walk down the driveway for just a brief moment, and then quickly closed the doo
r before I could call after him. I didn’t know what I wanted to say to him, but right now, I didn’t trust myself at all.
Wow, I said to myself, shaking my head in wonderment.
I needed some time to process all that had just happened – and I didn’t feel I could do it alone. I immediately called Sam and told her to meet me at the coffee shop.
“What’s the matter?” she asked. “Still got your writer’s block?”
I had to laugh. “No, that’s all taken care of – but now I’ve got something else on my mind.”
It wasn’t so much that I felt weird about having this sort of fling with Jamie and agreeing of my own accord to play out this scenario to the end. No, the weirdness I was feeling came from the fact that I didn’t seem to buck against it now. It came from the idea that I was comfortable with this decision. I could feel my resistance wearing away, ever so slightly.
Where had the old Natasha gone, the woman I knew so well – and who had she left in her place?
I still felt out of character as I entered the coffee shop and walked up to the table where Sam was already seated, motioning me to sit down beside her. She’d already ordered my drink.
The Girl Who Wrote Erotica, Book One: The Method (Contemporary Romance) Page 5
