by Jenny Frame
“If you want my opinion, you’re conflating sexual attraction with the needs you had in the past, and how they made you feel.”
“But sex was a big part of that. You know how I was.” Images of Lex’s past floated across her mind. She remembered one cocaine- and alcohol-fuelled party she’d attended at a famous actor’s house. There were models, musicians, politicians, all enjoying his wild hospitality. It was one of the wildest parties she had attended, and she had been so drunk and high, she couldn’t remember much, but she did remember being in one of the bedrooms with two women who were more than happy to accommodate any needs she had, given the money she had been throwing around, and then waking up in a police cell after the party was raided.
She would never forget the look on her dad’s face when he came to pick her up from the police station, and she could still feel the shame and a sick sensation deep inside her gut. She had thought that was her rock bottom, but it took more than that feeling of shame to start her on the road to recovery.
“I know that, Lex, but one day you’re going to have to separate a perfectly healthy need for sex from your destructive behaviours. You can’t live the rest of your life running away from your natural needs. Today was probably just your body telling you to move on with your life. Find a nice girl to go out with, and enjoy it for what it is.”
Vic was probably right in that her reaction was down to frustration. She would just have to work harder in the gym. “I can’t take that chance. It’s too dangerous a road for me to go down.”
*
Roza was bored. She stared at the computer screen looking at some websites while someone from her security unit got her lunch. Now that she had gotten the work Lex gave her all up to date, there was nothing left to do. Maybe that was Gussy and George’s plan—keep her bored, occupied, and out of trouble.
Her usual London trips consisted of shopping, lunching in the most fashionable restaurants, going to art gallery openings and book launches, and clubbing. She sat back in her chair and spun herself around. Did she want to do those things? Were they really so exciting? Not when she got home at the end of the day and found herself alone.
I want more. There must be more to life, more I can do.
The garden her mother visited popped into her mind. That would be a nice place to think, and she needed to think. She could feel she had reached a crossroads in her life, and finding the right path was vital.
There was a knock at the office door and Conrad popped his head around. “Ma’am, I have lunch for you. I was going for mine anyway and persuaded Major Scary to let me get yours.”
Roza giggled. “Did Ravn hear you call her that?”
Conrad looked to his side where Ravn was obviously standing and guarding the door. “Uh…yeah. Can I come in before she kills me?”
Roza waved him in. “Quick, I’ll save you.”
Conrad hurried in with his bag of goodies and laid it on her desk.
“Oh, whatever you’ve got for me smells scrumptious.” She looked up at Conrad who stood, looking a little awkward. “Sit down, will you? I’d love the company.”
They settled at Roza’s desk and started to eat.
“This is good.”
“It’s from a little Italian place around the corner. Not very healthy, but delicious.” Conrad smiled.
“You’re a man after my own heart, Conrad. I love everything that’s unhealthy. Cheese, pasta, candy, and the one thing I couldn’t live without—chocolate. Luckily, and infuriating for some of my friends, I don’t seem to ever gain weight.”
Conrad looked at her through narrowed eyes and said, “Bitch.”
Roza burst out laughing. “Yes, I get that a lot, mainly when people think I can’t hear them.”
After talking for a while and enjoying their food, Conrad asked, “I hope you won’t mind, and you can tell me to shut up if you want, but what’s the Queen Consort like? Is she as sweet and adorable as she appears?”
“I don’t mind, and yes she is everything she appears. Very kind, and extremely genuine,” Roza said.
“That’s nice to know. The Queen and the Consort are an adorable couple. It makes you hope for that sort of love in your own life, doesn’t it?”
Roza felt a wave of sadness come over her. She put her fork down and dabbed her mouth with her napkin. After the hurt of her relationship with Thea, how would she ever find something like that?
“Yes it does.”
Conrad must have immediately noticed the melancholy look on her face, and remembered Roza’s love life was full of hurt at the moment, because he said, “I’m sorry, ma’am. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“That’s okay. You probably know more about my sad love life than I do, since it’s all over the press most days.”
Rather than replying, Conrad smiled. “I forgot. I’ve got something else in my lunch bag that I got for us. It should cheer us up.” He pulled out a box from a local bakery with two thick slices of chocolate cake.
“Oh God, yes,” Roza said, “Can I marry you, Conrad?”
Conrad laughed and handed her a napkin and piece of cake. “Sorry, Princess Rozala. I’m looking for a handsome prince.”
“Damn,” Roza joked.
Just as they tucked into their cake, the office door opened and in walked Lex. “Afternoon, you two. Having fun?”
Roza looked up and felt a tingle of butterflies in her stomach that she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Lex looked different. She looked pumped, her cheeks glowed with health, and her eyes sparkled with energy.
Wow, Roza thought, but quickly tried to cover up her obvious lustful stare. “Quick, Conrad. The grumpy boss is back. Yes, we have had fun. We have enjoyed a delicious lunch full of unhealthy things, and now we’re having chocolate cake.” Roza held out a forkful and said in a low teasing voice, “Do you want some?”
She was sure she saw a flicker of something in Lex’s face and a tightening of her jaw.
“No, thanks. I don’t eat chocolate.”
“You don’t eat chocolate? How is that possible? It’s my favourite thing in the world.”
Lex smiled and sat down at her desk. “I’ll need to remember that. Conrad? Could you order me chicken, brown rice, broccoli, and kale please?”
Conrad got up immediately and started to clear the lunch things he had brought. “Straight away, Lex. Thanks for sharing lunch with me, Princess Rozala.”
“No, thank you. Why don’t we reconvene tomorrow at lunchtime and we can run down our grumpy boss?”
Conrad looked delighted. “You’ve got it. Thank you, ma’am.”
She gazed at Lex and saw her smiling and shaking her head at Roza’s joke. “You think we won’t?”
“Oh, I’m sure you will,” Lex said. “Now in true grumpy fashion, get back to work, Princess.”
There was something about the way Lex called her princess that made her feel excited, and giggly like a schoolgirl. “Whatever you say, boss.”
Chapter Seven
After three weeks together Lex was beginning to come to terms with having Roza in the office. In fact she was pleasant company for the normally solitary Lex. Although it was getting harder and harder not to fall under her spell, especially as Roza tried to flirt with her incessantly. Lex had no idea why—she didn’t think herself anywhere near Roza’s league.
In the beginning Lex thought it was just to prove the point that Roza could have her, but as she got to know her, she became doubtful. Underneath all the bravado, Lex suspected Roza was not what she portrayed.
Lex puzzled over this as she made her way back from the gym. She walked past the press pack who ignored her, thank God. It would have put an unbelievable strain on her if she had to put up with what Roza did.
She got in the lift, leaned back against the wall, and let out a sigh. Roza.
Roza was in her thoughts far too much these days. Sometimes Lex caught herself gazing at Roza while she thought she wasn’t looking. In those moments she saw the beautiful, natural g
irl she was, but sometimes when Roza was in close proximity to her and she was flirting, it was torture not to give in to her body. Lex shook off the feeling and walked into her office after giving Ravn and Johann a nod.
Unusually she found Roza alone at her desk. “Hi, no Conrad this lunchtime?”
Roza gave her the sweetest smile and she felt her chest constrict.
“No, he had to go to the bank. He said to tell you he won’t be long, and he ordered you lunch before he went.”
“No problem. I had a few thoughts for the staff meeting tomorrow and some phone calls I need you to make. Can you come and take some notes?”
“Of course.”
Lex sat down and was surprised when Roza came to sit on the edge of her desk, right beside her.
“I think you can hear me perfectly well on the other side of the desk, Roza,” Lex said without looking at her.
Roza leaned forward into her personal space, and Lex had to stop herself from groaning at the smell of Roza’s perfume.
“Why? Do I frighten you?” Roza whispered.
Yes. Lex could almost taste Roza’s lips, and feel her nails tenderly scratching down her shoulders. She had to quickly regain control. “Don’t be silly. This is just not the way to conduct office business.”
Still Lex refused to look at her, but she soon felt Roza’s lips brushing her ear.
“I think you are. I think you’re frightened of letting go of some of that perfect control you keep on yourself twenty-four-seven.”
All Lex could think about was kissing Roza until she begged Lex to touch her, and if she turned her head to look into her eyes, she was sure that’s what would happen. Stop, stop. Breathe. “Get to the other side of the desk, and sit down, before I tell Ravn you’re sexually harassing me.”
Roza laughed and said, “Yes, boss.”
Finally Roza sat down, but she crossed her legs seductively and gazed directly into Lex’s eyes. “Okay, boss, what do you want me to do for you?”
Lex was so turned on she was getting angry. “Why do you do that?” she snapped. “Besides the fact I’m ten years too old for you, why do you flirt and try to get a reaction from me?”
Roza looked surprised at her anger, and snapped straight back, “I’m twenty-three—I don’t think thirty-three is too old for me. My ex was twenty-seven years older than me.”
Before Lex’s mouth could engage with her brain she retorted, “Yes, and look how well that turned out.”
As soon as she said it she regretted it. Roza’s face crumpled and tears welled in her eyes. Roza stood and hurried to the office door.
Lex jumped up quickly. “Roza, wait, I’m sorry.”
Just as Roza put her hand on the door handle she turned back. “I do it because I like you, and when you come back from the gym you have this glow, and your eyes sparkle with energy. I’m sorry you don’t seem to like me. Maybe someone else will.”
Roza left and slammed the door. Lex put her head in her hands. “Why did I say that? Why?” Roza was making it so hard to keep control. One minute she was this seductive woman wanting her attention, and the next she looked like a hurt little girl. She didn’t know whether she was coming or going.
Roza came back about thirty minutes later and didn’t talk to her for the rest of the day, and although the next few days were frosty they did start speaking again.
*
While Roza waited on Conrad bringing lunch, she looked out the office windows and watched Lex cross the road and walk around the corner to the gym.
I wish I could see her there. Roza suspected it was the only place you could see under the strict control Lex kept on herself, if the sparkle she had when she returned was anything to go by. If she was an ordinary person, she could go over to the gym and ask to look around, but the ever-present press pack and Major Ravn and Co. would put a stop to that in three seconds.
But what if she wasn’t Princess Rozala?
Conrad knocked and came straight in carrying lunch. “The cake shop had this amazing chocolate fudge cheesecake and I just couldn’t choose—”
Roza wouldn’t be distracted by chocolate cheesecake. All she could think about was the idea forming in her brain. “Conrad, I need to ask you a favour.”
Conrad put the food down on her desk and said, “Of course. You know I’d do anything to help you.”
“Well…” Roza sauntered over to him and sat on the desk. “I want to get out of here without being noticed, at lunchtime tomorrow.”
“Okay, but how will you ever get by the press?” Conrad asked.
“A disguise. It’ll be such great fun. Please, all I ever want is some time on my own. Will you help me?”
Conrad tapped his fingers on the desk. “Of course I’d want to help you, but Major Scary will notice.”
“She won’t, I have it all worked out in here.” She pointed at her head. “Will you help me? Please?” Roza clasped her hands and begged.
Conrad sighed. “You better save me when Ravn tries to kill me.”
Roza laughed and gave him a big hug and kiss. “Thank you.”
*
The next day Conrad did as Roza had asked. As soon as Lex headed off to the gym, the plan went into action. Roza stood with Conrad outside the ladies’ toilets. He handed her over a large rucksack. “Are you sure this is a good idea? Major Ravn will kill me.”
“It’ll be fine. It’s my one chance to escape for a bit. Give me fifteen minutes, then distract Ravn and Johann, okay?”
Conrad sighed dramatically. “You be safe, okay?”
Roza kissed him on the cheek. “I promise.”
She went into the private bathroom and locked the door. She was almost giddy with excitement as she pulled on the heavy men’s clothes and made herself extra bulky.
Roza looked in the mirror and tied her hair up before putting on a nondescript woolly hat. Suddenly she started to get nervous. “Why am I doing this?” But she knew the answer right away. She wanted to see Lex in the only place she suspected her boss ever let her control waver and enjoyed the passion Roza knew she had underneath.
Roza carefully hid the bag out of view and peeked out of the toilet door. Conrad met her eyes and immediately started to talk in animated fashion to Ravn and Johann.
It’s now or never.
She put her head down and made her way to the lifts quickly. Once she got into the lift alone and the doors shut, she let out a breath of relief. “Oh God. That was thrilling.”
Roza made it down and out of the lift, but the big test would be if the press would recognize her in these layers of thick heavy clothes.
The doors opened automatically, and she held her breath, waiting for the blinding flashes that always came when she walked out, but there were none. The press continued talking to each other and looking utterly bored.
Yes! I did it.
Now she just had to keep her cool and make it to Lex’s gym. She put her hands in her pockets, kept her head down, and hurried around the corner. It felt so exciting. She had no agents following her every move. This was so freeing.
Roza walked into the gym and up to the main desk. She tried to change her accent from the cut-glass English with a hint of a European twang she usually spoke with and hoped she could keep her cover.
“Can I help you?” the man at reception asked.
“Um…yes, I was thinking about joining and wondered if I could have a look around.”
His eyes gleamed with the prospect of a new membership, and he was on his feet in a second. “Absolutely, I’ll be happy to show you around.”
Once he got someone to cover for him, he took her past the security gate and they walked upstairs to the gym. All the time he was giving her the full membership spiel about facilities, costs, and special offers, Roza was looking everywhere for Lex.
She was led through a set of doors that opened up into the gym proper. The space was impressive. One half was all cardio equipment, and the other was weight machines and free weights.
Roza still couldn’t see Lex, but then she couldn’t see the full weights section as it rounded a corner.
“Could we look at the weights section first?”
“Sure, we have every piece of equipment you could possibly want. In this section we have…”
She started to tune out again and then she saw Lex at last. She was up at the back of the room, walking towards the pull-up bar. Roza pulled her hat down to try and make sure she wasn’t spotted by her.
Roza got as close as she could without getting spotted and continued to pretend she was listening to her guide.
She watched Lex pull up her body weight, and almost groaned out loud at the sight of pronounced muscles in her arms and shoulders with a light sheen of sweat coating them.
God, she’s gorgeous. Roza could feel herself falling in lust on the spot. Her stomach clenched and a heavy beat started deep inside. She did groan out loud when Lex was at the end of her reps, and she pushed it one last time before letting go of the bars. Lex bent over trying to catch her breath. The look of the high undiluted pleasure on Lex’s face was almost orgasmic.
The gym fell away and all she could see was Lex and all she could hear was her breath. Roza wondered if she looked like that when she made love.
I would love to make her feel that way.
Then, all of a sudden, Lex looked up, apparently aware she was being watched, and Roza ran, leaving her guide bemused as to what was going on. She ran out of the gym and around the corner, and then felt herself pulled into an alley.
She struggled, but the burly man pushed her up against the wall and pulled her hat off.
“Let go of me—”
He held his hand over her mouth, and it felt suffocating. “Calm down, Princess, or I’ll hurt you.”
She knew no one was coming to her rescue, as Ravn and her team thought she was still in the Timmy’s building, so she let her body go limp.
“That’s better. I’ve got a message from Thea.”
Thea? She would send this guy to hurt me?
“Computer, play message,” he said, and Thea’s voice started to play from the phone on his wrist. “Hello, my special girl. Do you miss me? I bet you do. Even after everything that’s happened and how much you might hate me, I’ll always be in your heart and in your head, won’t I?”
