He pulled the horse in front of them now as though shielding them from outside lookers.
"Like what?" she challenged.
"Like this," he barely whispered, as he faced her once more and looked into her eyes.
"I know better," he barely breathed as his head began to descend. "But just once…and to prove we are not made for each other like you seem to be imagining."
Dust, heat, and tension all mingled for a long moment, as his eyes sparkled into hers and then as though something beyond his will to use his head took hold, he pulled her unresisting body to him. He gave her time to pause, to rethink the situation, but the closer he came, the more she couldn't resist him.
She wanted this, and at this moment, she thought he did too.
She felt her body melt into his instantly, her breath hitched, her heartbeat quickened. The anticipation enveloped them. Sweat peppered her upper lip as she licked them once. Their eyes met, their bodies met, and then…their lips met.
The world disappeared beneath her feet; she gripped his arms first then slowly slid them upward.
She met him halfway for the kiss that sizzled like an overcooked egg on a hot rock in the middle of summer. Only eggs weren't this good, she thought merrily. For a moment, the tension faded as feelings took hold. He rocked her soul into submission, and then his arms came around her so protectively. She thought he might be too forceful, but he held her so gently she could easily move away if she wanted to. But moving away was the last thing on her mind now. He embraced her like a China doll as his lips assuaged the age old ache between a man and a woman. At first, he barely seemed to touch her, but as the kiss deepened, he pulled her up hard against him.
The instant spark of the kiss sent a wave of currents through her. She needed to think, but her mind wasn't working, her body was.
The curiosity of what a kiss might taste like from Hank had danced in her mind for so long, but the reality of it made her quiver with new wants and needs. She was out of her own league with this cowboy, unprepared for his masterful touch. Her lips had gone to butter folding into his, and she let him sweep her into a private void.
His gentleness surprised her, delighted her. Her hands crept around his neck and her fingers slid into the silk of his hair at his nape. So soft—she barely had the mind to make notes. She heard his harsh breathing as he tried to stop the kiss from expanding into some sort of strange foreplay, but he didn't stop kissing her and she didn't want him to.
His lips were the softest thing about him, she soon realized as they parted hers. He held her so tight she could barely breathe, but she didn't need to breathe. She existed on the depth of the kiss and the way his hands molded her to him. She heard a strangled groan, but she didn't know if it came from her or him. The mindless prodding of his tongue, as it danced with hers, first slowly, then faster, the way his hands rubbed erotically against her back creating a friction of their own; she was mindless, wordless, and all his for the moment.
Until she suddenly realized she wanted more, much more from Hank. That realization shocked her back to reality. She pulled out of his arms, and backed away, staring at him as though he'd suddenly grown two heads.
"That shouldn't have happened…" he uttered.
"No…I guess it shouldn't." She turned and ran away.
She'd never been kissed so thoroughly in her life and she wasn't sure she could walk away unscathed.
"Get in the house…now!" he shouted without looking straight at her.
"But…"
"Now, Letty!" he demanded. She obeyed. She ran, as the tears streamed down her face.
Why did he act as though he'd done something wrong, when her heart told her he'd done something very right? She felt the sting of his words. He had taken the most beautiful moment of her life and turned it into some mishap. How could that be?
What had just happened? And why did she feel as though she'd done something so wrong when what he made her feel was definitely so right?
This morning, all she wanted or expected was to meet his grandmother. The kiss was the last thing she dreamed or hoped might happen between them. If he could make her lose control so easily with a mere kiss, she was in big trouble. If that was just a sample, she wanted the whole package. Her dreams and imaginings were never as good as that kiss.
Her heart swelled with the knowledge that Hank wanted her in the most basic of ways. But did he want her heart?
There were no bones about it, she'd have to find out!
Chapter Six
Going to sleep wasn't an option that night, after Hank's kiss. Even after a warm bath where all her fantasies' came to life, the stark truth still stared her in the face. Hank wanted nothing to do with her. And changing his mind was no option according to him.
Why did men have such poured in concrete ideas?
Eric had wanted her body, but Hank seemed to seek out her very soul. There was such a difference, and yet both scared her.
Destined to inherit the McKay fortune, Letty felt hopeless. Was it a blessing or a curse? How could the one thing everyone wanted, money, be such an obstruction in her life? Now she knew, she was judged by who she was, what she was. Money spoke volumes. Money truly was the root of all evil.
Hank was a man, a man's man and he would have to be the bread winner in the family. He would never stand for a woman paying his way. She saw that now. It was a social status that stood in their way. One she wasn't sure of how to get rid of.
Pride stood in their way like a barrier between them.
What did she need to reassure him that it could work between them? Did she need to give up the money she might soon inherit? How did one go about giving it up? And would that be enough? Or would that very action make him turn away from her forever? God, she was thinking forever! How did that happen? They only shared one kiss, a kiss that forever burned inside Letty.
For Hank had proven to Letty that a man could be gentle and loving, something she hadn't been sure of before.
He hadn't declared his love for her. He hadn't mentioned anything permanent. No, that was all in Letty's mind.
Strange, just a few short months ago her mind ruled her thinking.
Until she could change his mind and attitude, their romance was going nowhere.
A tear escaped on her pillow that night, and then many more followed as she realized that no matter what she did, she was still a McKay, and that would never change.
Dammit Dad, you've cursed me!
In her sleep she made passionate love to Hank Silver, told him how much she loved him and lay in his arms all night. But at sunrise, reality kicked in and the hopelessness of the situation homed in on her.
Hank Silver would never be hers. Even if she did give away all the money, there was something even worse. She could never tell him about Eric.
Concentrating on Hank was useless. He wanted no part of her. And those kisses were so lethal she needed to stay away from him. Far away. Hank Silver could break her heart! If he hadn't already! I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life!
With a sigh of longing she never thought she'd feel, she resigned herself to the fact that she and Hank were not meant for each other. He was a hired hand and she needed to keep away from him. Her mind told her this; her heart screamed the pain of it.
***
Julie was due home today and Letty needed to make the day as wonderful as she could. Kellie was excited about having her parents together at last, and being a real family. Letty wanted to make this a day they would all remember. So she enlisted her sisters' help in planning a "welcome home party".
Wendy and Sandy agreed about the party and they all pitched in and helped. The entire morning the kitchen was abuzz with preparations. Kellie bounced around the kitchen doing one thing or another for her aunts.
By two that afternoon, Julie and Cade had arrived home and as Kellie led them into the house, everyone jumped up and shouted at them throwing graffiti in the air.
Julie looked so lovely, marriage agreed
with her. Happiness radiated from her. Letty watched from the other side of the living room as they sat down to share their honeymoon with everyone. Cade sat beside her, smiling at all the pictures they shared.
Letty couldn't help but notice how flushed Julie looked, lovely and very much in love. She envied her.
A tear rolled down Letty's cheek as their joy filled her too. Maybe someday she'd have that joy too, but today it didn't feel like it. There were too many obstacles.
Julie and Cade had gone to Hawaii for their honeymoon and had a mountain of pictures and stories to tell.
It was a day of giggles and joy as everyone gathered about them.
Letty hadn't seen Hank all day, and she missed him like a piece of her was torn off and missing. He hadn't worked in the corral or she would have spotted him when she went to refill the luncheon plate. Her eyes kept straying out the window to the corral, but there was no sign of him today.
As dusk settled, the house got quiet and Letty went to the kitchen to clean up. Sandy had a date with Candy Man. "You need to be careful, Sandy. Mike is nice, but he has been around, if you know what I mean."
"That's what attracts me so much. He's very mature for his age, and he knows what he's talking about. He is so interesting to talk to."
"Sounds like you really like him?" Letty asked, a little surprised it had gone this far without Mike putting on the brakes.
"I do."
"Just be careful, I don't want to see you hurt."
"I'm a big girl now, Letty."
"Yes, but you aren't exactly worldly, and he is…"
"That's another thing I like about him." Sandy giggled and ran up the stairs to dress for her date.
Wendy was somewhere close to Wade, Letty was sure, and Kellie listened to her parents making plans for their future.
Letty felt restless, lonely, even.
Cade had built a place not far from the ranch and they would live there. That meant Julie would be moving out of the house and Letty already missed her and Kellie.
Things change, get used to it!
Lonely and out of sorts, Letty dried her hands on the cup towel and wandered outside. She hated feeling this way. She wanted to be happy for her sister and family, but she knew she dulled their party. She'd never been rejected by a man before, and to think Hank Silver was the one to do it hurt.
Solitude would cure her. She needed a place to think.
She strode up the hill from the house and stared out at the property. The land was exquisite in every detail. Wade and Cade had taken care of this place so long, they had every inch of it manicured to their lives.
Letty sighed. She used to come up here with her father every now and then just to admire the land, to get away from the rat race below, and to talk.
But today felt so different.
She wanted to talk, needed to talk, needed to understand.
She didn't want to dwell on Hank, but she couldn't stop her mind from going there. Hank wanted no part of her. He set the boundaries for them and that wouldn't change no matter what. Something squeezed hard in Letty's chest at the knowledge of how easily Hank had insinuated himself into her heart. She'd never been on a date with him. Never been allowed to be friends with him, and yet, she knew…she was in love with him. How could it happen like this? Love was supposed to come after you got to know everything about a man, and decided he was the one for you. After you dated for years and wore his engagement ring for months waiting on the wedding to come. It didn't happen that way for her. It hit her like a building storm that slammed into her heart and wouldn't let go, a hopeless storm.
Not a soul knew how much she liked Hank, and she wouldn't be confiding about that to anyone.
She shrugged, and sighed heavily.
That's when she heard a noise and a voice nearby, "Something got you, girl?"
It was Caleb. What was he doing up here? She glanced down the line of trees and then she saw him, sitting there on the ground, leaning against an old tree, staring at the evening sunset.
"Caleb, I didn't expect you up here." Letty tried to smile.
"Sunsets are nice, don't you think?" he said lowly.
"Yes." Letty walked over to him. "They are. I used to come up here with Dad, every now and then. We'd sit here 'til the sun went down and talk. It's about the only time we really did talk. Up here we were just two people who mutually appreciated the beautiful sunsets. Not father and daughter."
"Ya know…of all the girls, I didn't think you'd be the one to miss him most," Caleb said coarsely.
"You are pretty sharp, Caleb. I hadn't planned on letting anyone else know that," Letty admitted as she sat down beside him.
He shot her a wry grin and looked away. "I see it in your eyes. The sadness."
"I guess it is funny. I mean, I was pretty selfish in my younger years. I wanted a career, a place in this world. I wanted to see the world, not stay on a ranch all my life, like Wendy." Letty chuckled.
"And did you see the world?" Caleb asked.
"All I needed, yes," Letty answered.
"Are you happy?" Caleb asked simply.
"No…I wouldn't go that far. I don't know exactly how it happened, but I lost my passion for law. Now all my problems are solved with Dad's money. Isn't that grand?"
Caleb glanced at her and looked away. "Doesn't sound that grand the way you put it. Somebody left me that kind of money, I'd be tickled pink, especially if I didn't have to work for it."
"You don't understand; I don't want Dad's money."
The old man's brows rose. "Why not?"
"Several reasons. I guess that sounds strange to you. But… I never wanted it. I'd rather have him back. You see, Dad was my stabilizer in life. He kept me straight no matter how far off I wandered. He told me like it was. Even if it hurt. I miss that. And I need direction now!"
Caleb shook his head. "It's true then…"
"What?"
"Money doesn't solve all the problems, does it?" Caleb injected.
"No…but it creates a lot."
"I suspected as much. I knew your father pretty well and all the money in the world didn't keep him from missing you girls."
"I should have been here, but I guess…but you know, you just have to grow up somehow. Even if it means leaving the ones you love."
"You haven't even gotten the money yet and already you are unhappy?" Caleb asked.
"I guess I jump in too fast. I let my emotions rule me. That's part of why I wanted to be a lawyer, to right all the wrongs, to help the innocent. I knew from a little girl I wanted to help people. But even that is gone now. All I want to be…"
"Is what?"
"A woman. You see, law school kind of takes away from that. You fight so long about being respected that you lose a little of yourself. You get tough just like a man. It's not appealing."
"A woman?" Caleb repeated. "Well, now…that's something."
"Dad would turn over in his grave if he heard me talking like this. I want what Julie has: a man, a family, a life."
"What about your modeling career?"
"It isn't a career; it's a pastime, a way of paying my way through law school, and now a way of making a little money on the side. My own money. But I have no passion for it either. Even though I'm good at it." Letty chuckled. "But the competition in that field is way too high and I'd be too old for it by the time I reached it."
"Too old?"
"Sure, a model barely makes it to thirty before the wrinkles start showing up. That's not for me. I want to do it, because I enjoy doing it. Not because I had to knock a few girls out of my way to get there."
"So are you?"
"Am I what?"
"Good at it?"
"Very."
"Well, you shore don't lack confidence." He chuckled.
"Well, a person should know what they are good at, shouldn't they?"
"I reckon so. So now you want to be an ordinary housewife with dirty dishes and snot nosed kids close by? Wow! What a change. How'd your dad ever k
eep up with you? I mean, with you changin' your mind so much."
Letty stood up and walked to the edge of the cliff. She felt a little chuckle bubbling when she thought about it. "I think that's why Dad wanted us all to come home. To seek out what we really wanted in life. To find ourselves. Julie did. And I am so happy for her. She's had it hard, very hard."
"Couldn't she have come home and had it easier?" Caleb asked, still sitting, and watching. "I mean, wasn't that of her own choosing?"
"Maybe, but Julie and I have always been the most independent in the family. We had to get out of here to learn what life was about. What was important to us. How to make it in the real world. I think Dad knew all along, though, that we needed to come home to find ourselves," Letty admitted.
"Sounds like you were very close to your dad. You talk about him all the time. You know that, don't you?"
"I never thought about it. He was always closest to Wendy. She was the cowboy he never had. Me and Julie, we butted heads with Dad most of the time."
"Just 'cause you fought don't mean you wasn't close. Fightin' sometimes brings out things that need to be said."
"How many kids you got, Caleb?" Letty glanced at the old man.
"Too many, and none of them around here. They are all grown and have their own lives to live."
"You have a good knowledge of people though."
"Naw…just old and been around a while." He chuckled. "We best be getting' back, the sun is settin' now."
"Oh…yeah, I guess it is."
"These woods can be dangerous in the dark. Hope your problems straighten out, Miss Letty," he added.
Letty sighed again and muttered as if to herself, "I don't think so."
***
A few days later, Letty was riding back toward the barn when she saw Hank leaving. Curiosity got the best of her and she followed him on horseback.
She wanted to see what his home life was like. Letty knew that a man's family was a big clue into the man.
Ring of Fire Page 6
