by L. Ann Marie
Maybe I should think about what I say to him more. Pres knows something’s coming and is pushing me to teach Danny everything. We eat and head back. On the ride I decide to write the important shit down so I can get it to him. I hate fuckin’’ writing but I need my boy to learn this shit without the mistakes I made. I stop for a book, ruler and colored pencils. He doesn’t ask so I don’t explain.
We get back and he has a girl and Brother eyeing him as we’re sitting at the bar. I tell him to go and I start writing. I have to make lines with the pencils to keep the writing straight. A girl comes up and leans over my arm. Nice rack. I put the pencils away and pull her to the bathroom. I can smell a man on her, I’m not the first here, so I cover and slide in. She’s not looking for anything but a fuck and I give her what she wants. When I’m done I wipe her up and kiss her cheek. “Thanks sweetheart.” I grab my book and pencils and find a tree next to camp to write under.
Chapter Six
Six months
We walk in exhausted. It’s been a fuckin’’ night. It’s loud as fuck and I push through to the bar. “What’s going on?” I ask the Prospect handing me a beer.
“Wall took the slaves out. Another one OD’d.” He hands Danny a beer and walks down the bar.
“Fuckin’’ drugs,” he says. I love hearing that from him and hope he keeps away from them.
Wall comes out of his room and shit starts. Fuck. “We got no pussy Pres,” Laney says and I know he’s high. No one talks shit to Pres. I stand beside him waiting for the rest. I don’t have to wait long.
“What the fuck are we paying for if we don’t have pussy to come back to.”
They start getting louder. “Yeah, what the fuck? We pay our dues.”
Pres puts his hand up and Tiny whistles. I’m surprised. I haven’t seen him around. Wall had him with Trunk for training then Trunk lost his leg. Haven’t seen Trunk around much either.
“Your dues buys you drinks and whores. Drinks are still flowing and whores are all over the fuckin’’ place. You were feeding the stock your drugs and killing them off. Don’t get paid for dead slaves. We went from seasoning them to be the perfect pussies to getting them hooked and good for nothing. Can’t get paid for addicts. They were costing more than we made. You want your takes dropped so you’re owing the Club money instead of collecting it? I got no problem collecting from you if that’s what you want. I’ll bring them back tomorrow.” Brothers start mumbling. “Yeah gets your slaves back. Get me a majority and I’ll bring them back and start a book.” The Brothers start turning away. Fuckin’’ smart mother. I shake my head and go back to the bar. Danny follows. I didn’t even see him come up behind me. Good fuckin’’ Brother.
Wall comes over. “Pres.” I’m tired as fuck and hope he doesn’t need anything.
“That takes care of trade. Take the men as your soldiers.”
Danny laughs. “There’s three that would work. The others are stoners.”
Pres looks at him. Fuck. “Your—Axe put you in charge?”
“Yeah of training. With taking the traders I would have three. I can’t train Brothers that are high. They’d fuckin’’ shoot me.”
Pres laughs and I relax. “You’re probably right. Take your three and I’ll look for more. We got some Brothers coming up but I’m sending two on to military.”
Danny throws him chin and I smile. “I’m fuckin’’ beat but I’m meeting someone. Later Brothers.” He walks away like he owns the place.
“Good Brother,” Pres says watching him. I just nod. He is. I’ve been teaching him everything I can think of. I hope it sticks. “Trading’s done for us. Next is the drugs. We got too many liking them right now. It isn’t time but it will happen.”
“Brothers’ takes going to show no trading money.” I lean toward him so I’m not overheard.
He laughs. “What I said was true. They got them hooked and useless. Don’t get shit for them like that. We need clean business. Human trafficking will be big but not with us. Brothers are too far into the drugs for that. Almost a hundred members and half are hooked. You got what twenty clean running guns and drugs? Need more clean. Fuckin’’ drugs.”
The best part about sitting with Pres is I don’t have to answer. He’s smart and knows how I think. He don’t need my answers. We watch Danny hightail it out clean and dressed.
“His old lady gets him out Brother. You need to let him go.”
My eyes snap to his. What? “Let him go? You don’t walk.”
“He’s got reason and a boy of his own coming up. He needs to raise that boy away from here.”
I just got my fuckin’’ son back and I lose him so he can raise my grandson. Fuckin’’ bullshit’s what this is. “I see my boy again, I see my grandson?”
He smiles. “Yeah Brother you get to see him.”
“You good here? I got shit to write before he goes.”
He laughs. “Go Brother. I’m good.”
Chapter Seven
One year later
“I’m out Axe. Got shit to do.”
I look at him. We just pulled in the yard. “You good?”
He nods but isn’t looking at me. “Old lady shit. I’ll catch you tomorrow. I need to find someone to watch my boy but I’ll be here.”
I throw him chin but I want to follow him home and see my grandson again. I watch him ride out and know my time is running out. Petey walks in with me and we get a beer. “He’s a good kid. Old lady’s a fuckin’’ bitch but he stays with her. Fuckin’’ doctor told him hormone shit sent her crazy.”
Fuck. He didn’t tell me. I walk to the office and call Darlene. She does a daycare. Maybe she’d take Rich for him. When she agrees I call him with her number. He’s fuckin’’ happy and I can hear his smile. I get an invite to dinner and take it. I’ll see my grandson tomorrow.
When I get back to Petey, JJ is standing by him. They’re debating drugs and the cost of it in society. I laugh. Petey will never win.
I slap JJ’s shoulder. He’s got a bruise on his chin. “You fighting in college Brother?”
He waves it away. “Pussy thought I was easy for some cash.”
“Glad he only thought it.”
Petey laughs. “Pussy’s in the hospital. Was on the news. Bikers at the college.”
JJ looks embarrassed. “He won’t fuck with me again.”
I laugh and slap his back. “Sounds like no one will. Good fuckin’’ job Brother. You get blowback let me know.”
He smiles bobbing his head. He’s a good kid. I’m glad he’ll be getting us out of the drugs. Pres comes out and JJ goes right to him. I think he’s giving him all I’ve been giving Danny.
Petey talks about needing another on Transport. He doesn’t trust Hammer on the runs. He’s talking shit and Brothers are listening. Fuckin’’ great.
I’m not sending Danny. I look around. “Tiny!” He lumbers over. The kid’s a fuckin’’ giant. “You still fuckin’’ growing Brother?”
He laughs. “I don’t know Axe. I think I’m the same.” I think he really doesn’t know but he looks bigger. Petey laughs.
“You still with Trunk?”
His body slumps down. “Yeah but we ain’t doing anything. I just Prospect for him.”
I look at him. “You ain’t a Prospect. You run with Petey. Keep Hammer quiet and do the job. I’ll get a Prospect to Prospect for Trunk.”
He stands straight. “What time?”
Petey laughs. “Noon tomorrow.”
He throws chin and goes back to the Brothers at the couch. “Trunk’s bad off. Drinking his life away,” Petey says watching Tiny smiling with the Brothers.
“Yeah. Saw him last week. He should have come back to work.” Fuckin’’ Brother whines so much I can’t take more than a few minutes with him. Fuckin’’ Tiny’s been with him for almost a year.
Petey nods. “Yeah.”
“Tiny don’t talk much. He’s a good Brother. Train him how you need him but he’s not a soldier for drugs. He stays with
you. Make sure he knows that.”
“I will Axe. Thanks.”
I push away and find a whore. Tomorrow I see my grandson so celebrating is my plan for the night.
Chapter Eight
“LP take the motherfucker out!” He turns on his seat and does. Fuckin’’ kid’s still running the line.
Jinx laughs. “No words.”
Our run was later today and I’m fuckin’’ done with this. Every fuckin’’ day it’s the same. Getting our packages in and out through gangs is getting harder and harder. I start to hit every one to kill them so I’m not fighting the same fuckin’’ people every week. We have a full hour ride back. No one says fuck until we hit the yard.
“You okay Brother?” Danny asks.
I look at him. I don’t know when the fuck I decided this but I want him out. He needs to raise his boy without dodging fuckin’’ bullets. “Think we need to shoot to kill. Gangs just patch them up and send them out again, they wait for us and kill us. We need to just kill them.”
He looks at me for a full minute. “Okay. Shoot to kill.” He watches me.
I can’t tell him to get out so I throw him chin. “See you in half an hour.”
He gets off his bike. “Can I use your truck? I’m already late and can’t take my boy on the bike.”
“I can get him and bring him home for you.” He looks surprised. “Won’t let nothing touch him Brother.”
He smiles. “Thanks but I just met the woman and want to know how he was today.” I throw him the keys and a smile. He’s a good dad.
Walking in I go right to my room and shower. Pres stops me on the way out. “You okay Axe?”
Fuck. “Yeah. Tired of seeing the same fuckin’’ shooters. Told the crew we shoot to kill from now on.”
He nods. “Heat’s going to come down from that.”
“Pretty sure there won’t be witnesses.”
He laughs. “Do what you got to do. Just make sure you come back Brother.” I nod smiling.
At Danny’s I hear the bitch yelling before I make the steps. The door is open so I walk right in. Danny’s feeding the boy talking soft to him. I watch for a minute and the bitch walks in the room. “A shower would be nice. The whole house stinks.”
I sit and put my hands out for the boy. “I got your back Brother. Go shower and I’ll finish here.”
He looks relieved and hands me my grandson. “I won’t be long.”
I nod and the bitch leaves with him yelling about a stranger feeding her kid. I want to laugh. She isn’t feeding him. “You stick with your dad boy. He’s a good man.” He watches me with that same look his dad has. I keep talking telling him about life and the lessons we learn.
Danny comes out and smiles at his boy on my shoulder. “Got some steaks I marinated. You good there?”
“Yeah.” He goes out and I hear the grill cover go up. I walk the kitchen noticing things he’s fixed up. He’s good with his hands. The house looks nice from the inside. The living room is bigger too.
“I’ve been doing it a little at a time.” He says from behind me.
“Looks good.” I think about the safe room and figure I’ll work it in but not right now.
He points to Rich. “Need me to take him?”
“No I’m good.”
He laughs. “Didn’t think so. I don’t want to let him go either. He settles me.”
I look at him. “You still working out?”
“Yeah every day. He settles me here at home. No matter what I’m doing he’s close. Nothing phases him.” I’m thinking that’s good with his mother yelling all the time. “I got shit to go with the steak.”
I nod and follow him to the kitchen. “How was he today?”
He smiles. “Good. No problems. I like the woman. She takes good care of the kids.”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t have sent you if she didn’t.”
We eat talking about every fuckin’’ thing. He’s funny and smart making me wish I had something to do with that. He asks about the Brothers that were sent away.
“We got one that just went into school, one coming out next year and four in the military. Pres wants true soldiers and thinkers. Says the only way we’ll make it out of the wars is with smarter Brothers.”
He’s got that intense look. “I can see that.”
“You want school we can send you.” Pres didn’t say he went to school but I can push it.
He laughs. “Just barely made it out. I can’t read.”
Fuck he’s like me. “Get paper and colored pens or markers.”
He puts Rich in his seat and looks for what I need. When he comes back he looks interested in what I’m going to tell him. “Pres taught me how to get through shit with colors. See if it works for you.”
I write the Brotherhood pledge and color a line under it when I put a period. This is exactly how Pres taught me. He watches then I hand him the paper. “Read it slow one word at a time.” He does and I see it affects him.
He gets a book and hands it to me. “I need to know this shit. How do I read a book?” It’s about babies. He’s going to be a good dad trying to read a book for his kid.
I go to the first page and find the period. I color back from there. I do the whole page for him and hand it over. “I got books with highlighter, the light colors, they’re in the whole book.”
He’s amazed. Then laughs. “Fuckin’’ Brother. Spent my whole life trying to get it. All I needed was crayons.”
I laugh. “For me it’s still not easy but it’s easier. I read everything twice then move on.” He’s nodding with the smile.
“You’ll be coloring pages all night Brother. I’ll catch you later. Thanks for dinner.”
He nods coloring his pages. “Tomorrow Axe. Thanks for showing me.”
“No problem son.” I kiss Rich’s head and head back to the Club. I’ll keep pushing school and make sure he’s got the money for it.
Back at the Club I find Pres with a whore. He tells her to come back in an hour. “The boy good?”
I smile. “Yeah. Showed him how to read like you showed me.” He laughs. “How much time do I have with him?”
He’s surprised. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. I’m not seeing my grandson grow up but how much time do I have with my boy?”
“The one thing everyone misses with you is how fuckin’’ smart you are.” I don’t answer. I’m not letting it go. He blows out a breath. “He’s out inside a year. You got another year. Knight is back when the Brothers turn. Don’t bring him back in Axe. He comes back on his own. Let it play out.”
I get up to walk out. “Axe. He’s a good man and a better Brother, his kids work to make life good too. Finds a good woman and protects what’s important. Let him make it there.”
“I did nothing for him his whole fuckin’’ life. I’ll give him that Pres.” I turn the door knob.
“You’re wrong. What you teach him is how he lives. He’s a good Brother because of you.” I throw him chin and walk out.
In my room I start writing. I’ll give him everything I know.
Chapter Nine
Six months later
Worcester is fuckin’’ crazy, we got two shot and the gang follows us down the big slab. Danny flips his bike around riding straight for them. Fuck. He doesn’t stop shooting until they’re all down. Crazy fuckin’’ Brother is lucky he didn’t get himself killed.
Back at the yard he helps Barrels in. I got Dante. Both arm shots. He settles Barrels then tells me he’s out. I let him go knowing he’s late for Rich.
Once Box gets them stitched up I head to Danny’s. He’s reading something and eating a bowl of cereal while Rich is in a walker rolling around the kitchen. I knock and he motions me in.
“Didn’t expect you Brother I would have made dinner.”
He’s always good like that. “I’m good.” Rich rolls to me and lifts his arms. I lift him up smiling. He’s a good kid. I’ve never heard him cry. “You all right Brother
?”
He looks at me. “Yeah. I was pissed. Two more shot and I could see us getting it in the back. If I’m going it ain’t in the fuckin’’ back.”
I nod. Rich plays with my tags so I take them off and put them on him. He laughs and starts talking holding on to them. He kisses my chest making it hard for me to talk. Pres says he’s important to the Club. I wish I could see it but I need to clear the path for them. “You thinking about school?”
He looks down at the course book. “Yeah. Pres said I need to think about my boy. I got to do right by him. I want him to know every day that I’m here.” He looks up at me. “Pres will let me walk. I know you spent time grooming me but I need my boy to know I’ll be coming home every night. You’ve been the father I always wanted Axe this isn’t easy for me. My sister is still out there somewhere but you and the Brothers are all I’ve had. I gave Pres another six months. I’m going to start in September. He’s letting me walk but says I need to get my boy grown before I come back.”
All I can do is throw him chin. He finishes his cereal. “I think what you’re doing is good son. Your boy needs you.”
He nods looking relieved. “Thanks Brother. This is one of the hardest fuckin’’ things I’ve ever had to do. You can still come to dinner you know. I just won’t be at the Club.” I nod. He doesn’t stay there anyway. He won’t go with the whores and isn’t into the drugs. I’m lucky if I can get a beer with him.
“I’ll be here.”
He smiles. “Yeah? You can come anytime but we can make it the first Sunday of the month. If you get busy at least we have that.”
I laugh. “Yeah son. I’ll be here.”
He shows me the classes. He wants to be an architect. Fuckin’’ kids. He’s got it settled in his head and has been practicing on the computer with the drafting program. I just listen to my boy smiling.
