by L. Ann Marie
I nod. “Thanks. They’re getting good with this shit.”
Jessie laughs. “I can’t wait until someone tries calling in to talk to Diego or Alex.”
Darren shakes his head no. “There’s built in chat, so if the email hits when they’re on, it will send an alert. They can chat in real time to fix problems.”
“Jesus they’re like fuckin’ miniature Geeks,” Jessie says. He’s been training with my dad so the KC day to day is news to him.
I see that it bothers him. “When your schedule lightens up I need you with Ricky so Darren can get with my mom in HR. You’ll get caught up and see what the wiz kids are coming up with.”
He nods but he’s still bothered. “I need to finish this semester. My schedule is fuckin’ nuts.”
Darren nods and signs, ‘You doing ok with the online classes?’
“Yeah. I tested out of what I could and only have eight classes left.”
He nods. He’s done. He was a grade ahead of us but he’s fuckin’ smart and tested out of half his fuckin’ course load. The rest he took online and did it in a year. ‘I have your History and US Government notes if you want them.’
“Yeah I want them. I start both next semester.” I look at Jessie.
He smiles. “I tested out with his notes.”
Shit. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” My dad walks in with Elizabeth. She runs to me for a hug then Jessie and Darren.
We hear about her day. She’s getting so big. There are times I feel like I need to focus on her but I don’t know why. She talks in my head all the time but I never get the feeling she sees anything bad coming. My dad doesn’t want anyone knowing about her either so we keep it close but she talks to Jeremy and Tess knows. I wonder what it is that he sees that has him guarding us the way he does.
He looks right at me. “When you’re older you’ll get it. More comin’ at us. In time.” I nod. I guess that’s it.
We get dinner and Dad tells Jessie he has work coming up. Jessie nods but doesn’t ask. It’s a job. I think Jessie is too young for the jobs my dad does but he thinks he’s ready.
“Did Amanda do the design for you?” Jessie asks changing the subject.
“Yeah.” I pull it out of my pocket and hand it to him.
Elizabeth goes and sits on his lap. “It’s pretty. Like a prince.”
I laugh. “That’s a little much but I like it. I keep seeing it for some reason. Amanda says it’s as it should be.”
Darren laughs. “She talking to Jeremy?”
I shrug. Jeremy liked it so I’ll take it as a good sign.
Chapter Two
Two days
Jessie
We finally get a nice day. I ride to Amanda’s and throw chin at Driscoll he must be on Little Ben. I walk right to Amanda’s table. Little Ben has half his back ready for ink. The graft patches look like brick outlines on his back. I hope she can cover them. I push it away before he gets it. “Sorry I’m late Brother. I was out.”
He turns his head my way. “I didn’t expect you. Everything okay?”
I pull up a chair and sit. I’m fuckin’ tired. “Yeah just got back.”
“I’m good Brother. This is going to take some time. Go home and sleep for a while.”
I wave it away. “I’m good. I won’t be able to sleep right now anyway.” Darren is working so I’m here. Uncle Danny will show in a couple of hours and I’ll sleep. We aren’t letting him go through this alone. His fuckin’ skin being thrown around still plays in my head. He lost it in the hospital and told us how hard he was fighting to keep standing. He did that for us. We can be here for him.
He tells me about the Durfee job and getting another from Buffington Insurance. The kids are building fuckin’ programs like it’s nothing. I can only shake my head. “I should have taken computer.”
He laughs. “You’re being trained for Ops Brother. That will be important to us.”
I nod. We’ve had this conversation. Darren is more like VP than anyone in the Little Brothers, but being deaf, he thinks it would hold him back. With me being Security and Ops it works and the training will give the MC more options to place me in a job. Right now I’m training Brothers, going to school and training with VP.
“Dad said you hit under Rich at ride and shoot.”
I smile. “Yeah. Sorry Amanda but Bob was pissed.”
She laughs. “You freaky kids don’t bother him. He’s still better than the Brothers. I think that helps.”
Little Ben laughs. “I’m not one of the freaks. I’m just good.” I tell her. I’m not even close to the freaky kids.
Little Ben laughs harder and Amanda stops and looks at me. “Oh okay, when you turning thirty?”
“What the fuck ever.” I look at Little Ben thinking ‘I’m not’. He nods and relaxes. Amanda starts again. This has got to be fuckin’ killing him. He doesn’t even flinch.
“Darren said you’re taking online for next semester,” he says.
I nod. “Yeah, I’m not meeting anyone on campus anyway. I’m always running from class to work. I can take more online anyway. I’d have more time for it.”
“Yeah. I tested out with Darren’s notes too.”
Fuck! “You had them for one fuckin’ day Brother. It took me a week to read through it all.”
“We had most of it already. I need to do the Government test yet.”
He makes me laugh. Jesus. I always feel like I’m just catching up to him and he’s off again.
We talk about the kids then Rich giving Sheila his truck. He bet her she’d never make the HS cut. She did. She’s a fuckin’ maniac on a bike. She won the truck and is ecstatic. Amanda tells us she picked up the girls for Little Sisters in it squishing them all on the bench seat. She’s a trip.
Uncle Danny comes in. “Why don’t you go for some sleep Jessie. I wanted to see how far Amanda got.”
I throw him chin. “I think I will. I was too keyed up to sleep before but I’m feeling it now.”
“Later Brother,” Little Ben says smiling. He knows what we’re doing. ‘Thanks,’ he says in my head.
I throw him chin and text Darren. He wanted to know Little Ben was okay. ‘Dad’s with him now. He’s good.’
I ride to the Club and crash in our room.
My phone wakes me up. “Brother Darren needs you on a job for KC. He’ll explain when you get here.”
“Give me fifteen.” I hang up and roll off the bed catching the time. Fuck. I slept for fuckin’ ever. I shower and tie my hair running through the Club to the elevator.
Ricky, Darren and Victor are sitting at the table. Little Ben is walking toward it from the hallway. I sit and ask how he feels. He looks surprised. “Good. I thought it would be worse. I’m all covered right now.”
“She finish the outline?” Ricky asks him.
He nods smiling. “Darren tell Jessie what you need.”
‘Video from a college. This is the dates we’re looking for. They store them.’ He slides a page over to me. ‘The room where they are stored is on there.’
“That’s it. I’m just swiping videos?” This seems a little much for them to send me.
“No. Jake’s old lady is deaf. She went to college there. Was raped three times by one of the doctors that was teaching her. You’re looking for more proof to put him down.” Little Ben paces the room as he’s talking.
“This is Baxter?”
Darren waves at me. ‘No. Jake brought it to the MC. Geek gave it to me. Digs will be helping.’
I sit back. This is why no one is here. “My father knows this was passed to us?”
Little Ben turns fast and I see that hurt. Fuck. I hate to ask but I felt like shit when he took the blame last year. “I wouldn’t be giving it to you if he didn’t. This is for Jake but the MC and Baxters have shit going down or you would have gotten it from them. We need to do this for him and we need it yesterday. Digs is already pulling what they need. Brantley is helping with tracking the college employees.”
> I nod. “Anything else I need?”
Darren waves. ‘She’s a doctor working for Baxters Clinic. She’s good. Made it through even after what happened to her. That’s who got Terry back with CJ.’
“Fuck. I’ll get it tonight. Anything else I can do let me know.” He nods and throws me chin. He’s taking this on. She must be a hell of an old lady, deaf and a doctor.
“Thanks Brother. I know it was a long ride but this is important.”
I stand. Ricky hands me my backpack. “It’s all set.” I check it and throw him chin holstering my gun.
Chapter Three
Two weeks
Darren
I’m watching Amanda follow the lines for the wings. She’s following the inside lines around the graft scars. I can already see what she’s planning. She’s a fuckin’ genius with the gun.
‘MC is pulling Brantley more and more,’ I tell him looking at his face.
“Get Jason to take over for him. He’s ready.”
‘Yeah.’ While Brantley is geared more toward Ops Jason is more of a troubleshooter and hacker. I’ll need to train him for Brantley’s job.
He signs, ‘Yeah.’
We talk about the kids and how good Diego and Josè are getting programming. Those two were not flagged as specials but I think all of them are.
“Dakota is coming next week. He’s staying for a couple of days this time.” He’s smiling. He loves his cousin. I wish he came up more often.
‘How has business been for him?’
“Good. I asked him for advice on the assholes I’m going to have trouble with. He has some ideas that have been working for him.”
This is good. He was pissed when the culinary school thought he was too young to handle the program for them. He got the one in Rhode Island to look at it so it isn’t a big deal for the Little Brothers. We worked hard getting the hospitality side to work with the students and grades from the instructors. It’s a hell of a program.
‘Jeremy and Christian know he’s coming?’
He laughs. “Yeah, Jeremy came over as soon as I hung up. The fuckin’ kid is unbelievable. I swear he’s got radar on me. I think somethings coming and he wants to be prepared for it. He hasn’t said anything.”
Pres comes in and I look at Little Ben. He rolls his eyes making me smile. ‘My cue. I’m meeting Jessie. You up at the Club later?’
“No Brother. I’ll catch you tomorrow. I have to meet with my dad later.”
I throw him chin and sign, ‘later.’
Chapter Four
One month
Little Ben
I look at my back in the full length mirror. I can’t even see the scars anymore. It’s taken me two weeks to stop seeing them. Amanda said they were covered but today is the first time I see it.
“You ready?” she asks.
I nod. “Today is the first time I haven’t seen them.”
She nods. “It’s like that sometimes. Your mind doesn’t believe what your eyes are seeing. It will be better with more color and the shading. When you get the words I’ll put them in covering the last of them.”
I didn’t even notice it. I guess I’m ready to believe. I lay down and she starts. I’m surprised no one shows after an hour. My mind goes back to the day I got the scars. I was fuckin’ scared Jessie or Ricky was going to do something that got them killed. The last thing I can remember was feeling relieved when the last pussy was down. I woke up in the hospital and Jessie told me what happened. It was then that I realized how hard being a leader is. I didn’t stop them from getting hurt but I stopped them from getting killed. Pres said that made it a good day. I know bad days are coming but I hope they’re few and far between.
My dad sits on the side of me. “Better to leave it behind. Axe said keep lookin’ forward. Was a smart Brother. Knew past fucks with your head.”
I smile. “Today I didn’t see them. I think Axe is right.” He nods thinking I’m smart too.
“We gave Geek all we found.”
He nods. “We meet tomorrow.”
I get Jake and his old lady will be there. “We didn’t keep track. I know you wanted that but they voted for helping a Brother. I agree. That’s what Brotherhood is. We need to do this so the young understand the difference between work and Brotherhood. It should come first and there’s no price on it.”
He nods. He knew. “Tell Pres. He’ll get it.”
I nod. He’s never come between me and Pres and has always let me talk for myself. I admire the hell out of him for it. “You ever wonder what could have happened if Wall and Axe made it through the wars?”
He shakes his head no. “Happened the way it was meant to be. Wall knew like you. Pres was meant to get us here. Like with the old ladies. Once they’re yours you work harder to keep ‘em.”
Amanda snorts making me laugh. “Sorry. I’m putting my buds in Little Ben.” I feel her lift the gun and nod.
“Was hard gettin’ here but Pres knew how to do it and grow at the same time. Bein’ clean is fuckin’ harder than when we ran women and drugs. Difference is no drugs draggin’ us down.”
“I have a hard time seeing you running drugs and women.” I don’t even like thinking about it.
He nods. “Wasn’t my best moments just did my job. Club was my family.”
I think about what I would do for my Brothers. “Yeah. I can see doing what’s asked no matter what it is. If Pres asked me to I would do the same.”
He nods and looks at my back. “Looks good. Think it’s right.” He doesn’t want to think about me doing what he did.
“Yeah. I think so too.”
“You’re goin’ to have shit jobs. You do them ‘cause it needs to be done. When that’s the job you take, you do it knowin’ you get the bad with the good. Gotta do ‘em both.”
I smile. “Hate the fuckin’ bad but I get it.”
“You always have. Proud of you for knowin’ it.”
I think about Tess, Jeremy, Diego and Terry. “Thanks Dad.” So much shit has hit us for so long I think every single person has been touched by the bad. It always turns good. I have to believe we’re doing something right. We’ll keep going guided by right and make it better for more.
He nods. “Forward son. Keep looking forward.”
“Yeah.”
He stands up. “VP.” Ricky says and I smile. He loves my dad.
“Stayin’ out of trouble?”
Ricky laughs. “Always VP. Haven’t had a problem since Tiny took me in.”
“Good job Brother. Keep it up. See you at the patio.”
“I’ll be there.” I tell him knowing he’s walking out.
Ricky sits. “I love it Brother. Amanda is the shit.”
“She is. Thanks for coming.”
He nods and looks at me. “Anything Little Ben. It doesn’t seem like much but we need to be here as much as you need the distraction. It plays in our head too. Seeing them covered helps with that.”
I didn’t think of it like that. Everyone comes to keep it from replaying for all of us. “Today is the first day I didn’t see the scars. It’s a good day.”
He smiles. “Fuckin’ awesome day. For me it was last week. I know Jessie is still seeing them. Has he seen it this week?”
“No. He’s been on HS this week.”
He doesn’t say anything but he’s concerned with the changes that have been happening. After a couple of minutes he’s ready to talk. “The schedules for everyone are so fucked up. I never know when I’ll see anyone anymore.”
I think about how to answer that. “We’re growing into our new positions. With training, school and work we’re all flat out. It will slow down by next summer. Me and Jessie will be finished with school.”
“Yeah. I’m glad Nancy talked me into online. I’d never see them if I were on campus. I like seeing them.” He’s got a smile on.
“I’m happy you found your place Ricky. They needed you as much as you needed them.”
He nods. “I love my family.
I couldn’t have hand-picked better.”
“No you couldn’t. The boys look up to you and Sheila, Nancy and Tiny love you.”
“Yeah.” He’s quiet for a while watching Amanda work. “You have the words yet?”
“No. I don’t think it’s time.”
He nods and tells me about Billy and Jason. I knew Jason would work filling in for Brantley. He’s young but fuckin’ good.
Amanda pulls her gun away. “I’m done with the blue. I’ll start the gold next time Little Ben. I should be able to finish it in one sitting.” I stretch and sit up so she can cover it. “Don’t you want to see it?”
I look over my shoulder at her. “I’m good Amanda. I don’t see them anymore. I can wait until it’s finished.”
She smiles and leans in to kiss my forehead. “Tess did the same thing.”
She gets me covered and I take Ricky for dinner.
Chapter Five
One week
Jessie
I’m at the shop before Little Ben. “Hey Amanda. Will the ink stop his skin from bubbling in the sun?”
She shakes her head no. “Last year it was fresh and still working its way to being his. It turned red with those dots because of that—not anything else. He covered and it had a chance to heal without any outside damage. This year the ink will make a difference but not for the reason you’re thinking. The scars would always show and color different than the rest of him. Each piece would be a different color. With the ink you’ll never see it again.” I nod thinking about that. “He doesn’t see them anymore Jessie. The ink will help with that more than anything else.”
I’m fuckin’ shocked. He doesn’t see them? “No Brother. I haven’t seen them since last week and I’ve been here twice since then.”
I spin around. “That’s good Little Ben. I’m glad.” Fuck I wish I didn’t see them.
He pulls his shirt off and lays down. “Fuckin’ nice Amanda.” I feel my eyes burning and look closer. “I don’t see them either Brother. It’s so fuckin’ good to see only the ink.” Amanda walks toward the back. I wipe my eyes. When I get my shit together I sit. “I’m happy it works Little Ben. It’s a good design too.”
