by Robin Leaf
His face was in mine, right there, close, available. Brody glanced our direction, so I knew he was keeping a watchful eye on what we did. I ignored the flashing neon sign in my brain, the one telling me that this was a colossally moronic thing to do, and I listened to the one that wanted to inflict the most amount of pain I possibly could. Therefore, I lurched forward, threw my arms around Dugger’s neck, and adhered my lips to his. He stiffened for a nanosecond, then he relaxed into it and took over. For about five seconds, he deepened the kiss, caressing my face with his thumbs. I initially felt gratified that he hammed it up and put on such a good show.
Now, let me just say that Dugger was a damn good kisser. His lips were soft, demanding, controlling with the right amount of firmness. Nice engagement of both lips, good alignment and open just the right amount. It wasn’t too wet or too dry. The pacing was perfect… not rushed or slow.
But it felt so… weird.
Awkward.
Wrong.
Icky.
It was when he made that “I’m in fucking heaven” humming noise in the back of his throat that I realized what I did.
The neon sign turned to red flashing lights, complete with that annoying car alarm sound, the one that keeps changing as it annoys the fuck out of the neighbors. It was my turn to stiffen. As soon as I did, Dugger broke the kiss, grabbed my hand, and pulled me off the dance floor, out of the room, and around the corner into a darkened hallway.
I leaned against the wall and watched him pace.
“What was rule number one, Kaelyn?” he seethed.
I was not in fear, but I cowered at his tone. “No kissing.”
He threw up his hands. “No kissing.” Stopping in front of me, he glared. “Yet, you spectacularly broke that rule, didn’t you?” He sighed. “And what was rule number two?”
I swallowed and shook my head. “You’d shut this down, but that’s where you’re wrong. He does NOT have feelings for me.”
His eyes narrowed. “Uh, the boner he had when I cut in is calling you a liar.”
I looked down, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. “I’ve learned the hard way that a hard on isn’t the same thing as feelings.”
Stepping forward, he loomed over me. “Well, then I’m calling you a liar.” He leaned down and brought his face close to mine. “And a dumb one at that.”
I looked away. “I am not dumb.”
He grabbed my chin and turned my face to his. “Yes. You are.” He searched my eyes for a few seconds. His face softened. “Because when you’re not looking, he looks at you the same way I do,” he whispered, right before he walked away.
Oh shit.
The alarms.
The wrongness.
The icky feeling I felt.
It all made sense.
It wasn’t just because of the need to get back at Brody.
It wasn’t because I made a spectacle of myself at my brother’s wedding.
It wasn’t because Dugger was like a brother to me, either.
It was because deep down I knew… I sensed it from that kiss. Dugger had feelings for me.
And I just used him to get back at another man.
Everything clicked into place.
I fucked up.
Big time.
Twenty Four
Brody
She fucking kissed him.
Right in front of me.
The daring look she threw at me right before she kissed him told me everything. I knew she was getting back at me for being a dick. And he kissed her back.
But what really got to me was the way he kissed her.
The way only I should get to.
Emily’s eyes followed mine and she stepped back.
“Go,” she said, pointing to the door.
I followed her direction, getting as far away as I could before I exploded.
When I became aware of my surroundings, Nate was in front of me holding my forearm, instructing me to wiggle my fingers, so I did. My hand throbbed, but my fingers moved.
“I don’t think anything’s broken, Man.” He grinned. “You have a wicked right hook, though.” He nudged my arm. “C’mon. I’ll buy you a drink.”
I followed him to the bar in the lobby of the reception hall.
“Can I get some ice in a towel? And a couple of shots.”
The bartended nodded, and Nate turned to me.
“I know this has something to do with Kaelyn –”
“Now is not the time, Nate.”
He bit his lips and breathed out a sigh. “Fine.”
The bartender delivered both shots and the towel. I placed it on my hand, hissing when it made contact, but the soothing coolness began to ease the sting.
Nate pushed both shots to me. “I have to drive, so both are for you.”
I took both in quick succession.
“This wedding has been crazy, Brody,” Nate said, probably to fill the silence or to get my mind off what just happened. I’m not quite sure. “I’ve seen a lot of shit today you wouldn’t believe.”
I faced him and raised an eyebrow, silently encouraging him to continue.
“Dude, when I left you to get the ring earlier, I caught the wedding planner and the photographer getting freaky.”
I smirked. “They’re both…”
“Yup. Women, and married to men. In the church, too. I didn’t see any of the good stuff, but there’s no doubt what they were doing.”
“That’s crazy.”
“Yes, then a woman fainted at Riley’s feet, Vanessa’s grandmother molested my ass and told the whole church mine was better than Riley’s, and I heard two people fucking in the restroom just a few minutes ago.”
I closed my eyes tightly, hoping beyond all hope that it wasn’t who I feared it might be. Nate noticed, probably because I groaned.
“Oh shit. No, Man, it wasn’t them. I saw them go in the opposite direction together when I came out of the bathroom, right before I saw you punch the wall.”
I hung my head.
“Fuck me and my mouth,” he said under his breath. “Don’t worry, they weren’t gonna do anything like that. Dugger looked pissed. And whatever he’s got going on down there,” he nodded to his lap, “he probably won’t be doing anything with anyone anytime soon.”
I raised my eyebrows in question.
“You haven’t noticed how he keeps messing with his junk?” I shook my head. “Jeez, how can you not have seen that?”
Because I couldn’t keep my eyes off Kaelyn.
He raised the towel off my hand to look. “It doesn’t look too bad, but I’m not a pro.” He replaced the ice on my hand, stood from the stool, and slapped a twenty on the bar. “Do you want me to send Etta out here to check it? She could tell you if you need an x-ray or something.”
I clenched and unclenched my hand. It didn’t feel too bad.
“No, I think it’ll be okay. Thanks, Nate.”
He slapped me on the shoulder and walked away, leaving me alone in the bar. I was surprised no one else felt they needed a drink. I held up a finger to the bartender, and he poured me another shot. I let it sit, just staring at it, like it would do some trick.
I felt a breeze of someone sitting next to me. The bartender placed a couple of shots in front of whomever it was.
One shot disappeared. “I am in love with her, just so you know.”
I cringed hearing his voice and lifted my shot.
“I’m aware,” I said, right before I downed it.
Dugger turned toward me, turning his second glass with his thumbs. “I’ve loved that girl since she was seventeen, but I hid it, with her being my best friend’s little sister and all. Plus, our age difference has always been an issue for me. Tater figured it out about three years ago, when all those pictures hit the tabloids. He asked me about my feelings, and when I confessed, he flipped. So, I buried it and loved her from afar. She never knew… she has only ever thought of me like a second brother.
“Then about a week ago, she and Tater called to ask
if I would take her to this wedding, and I thought it meant that he was giving me his blessing. I figured maybe he was telling me, ‘Hey, you know what? Who is better to be with my sister than the one who has helped me protect and care for her all these years?’ I thought maybe, just maybe, this is my in. So… I said yes.”
He turned to face me. “Not even thirty minutes into our date, you show up, with your glaring and the ‘I wanna fuck you’ looks, and she gives me an earful about how you met, how she found you drunk, and you gave her a ring, which she was still wearing that night, by the way. And you fucking got to spend the night with her,” he closed his eyes, trying to hide his pain, “and then you didn’t call her.”
I slammed the shot glass on the bar. “Bullshit. I fucking did call her.” I looked around, realizing how loudly I yelled before I lowered my voice. “She gave me a fake number.”
He smirked. “I thought it might be something like that.” He downed his second shot. “She didn’t do it intentionally, Brody. She thought you were treating her like a fuck-and-forget.”
My eyes shot to his. “Not even close.”
“Yeah, I got that, but there was no convincing her.” He glared at me. “I’m betting Emily already told you Kae is not the person to give fake numbers, and you didn’t believe her, either, which is why you’ve been an asshole to her.”
He indicated to the bartender to bring another round.
“I know she kissed me just to get back at you. Honestly, I kissed her back partly for the same reason. You obviously have feelings for her,” he turned and eyed me, “but you’ve been an absolute dick to her.”
The bartender delivered our shots, and I asked for some water.
Dugger lifted his glass to me before drinking it.
“Look, I know what you saw at the church looked bad, but it really wasn’t what you thought. I gave you the benefit of the doubt because of what you’ve been through with your girlfriend, but you’ve got Kaelyn all wrong.”
I thought about what else I could have possibly walked in on them doing. Nothing came to mind. “She was pulling down your pants after stating that y’all spent the night together. If she wasn’t giving you a blowjob –”
“Yesterday, I suffered a severe allergic reaction…” he looked away, and I swear he blushed and mumbled something.
“What?”
He sighed and looked me in the eye, speaking quickly. “I went for a Brazilian wax. The stuff Kaelyn gave me to remove the wax the girl missed had chamomile in it, which caused an anaphylactic and a severe skin reaction. We spent the night in the hospital, and today, she was helping me apply the cream the doctor prescribed. And before you ask, she never once saw or touched my dick, but I am glad you showed up when you did, because two more seconds of her in that position touching me would have given away a lot more than I wanted her to know.”
He hung his head. “I’ve known her since she was in diapers, Brody. I’m not supposed to have these feelings for her. And now, thanks to you, she does know, and my relationship with her will never be the same.”
He took his last shot before he stood.
“I liked you before all this mess. I think you’re a decent guy with a good heart who has been dealt a shitty set of circumstances in the past few weeks. The only thing saving you right now is that I think you might be the right guy for her… once you pull your head out of your ass. My suggestion is to do that and fight for her. God knows she’s worth it.”
He bent down to speak in my ear.
“But know this… if you ever hurt her, there will be no end to the pain I’ll inflict on you.”
I turned to face him, and based on the menacing look on his face, I believed him.
I nodded once, gaining a whole new respect for Dugger.
“There you guys are,” Tater announced as he walked up to join us. “Emily wanted me to find you because we’re about to take off.”
Dugger and I both paid for our drinks and followed Tater out of the bar.
“Dudes,” Tater began, “you missed it. We did the bouquet and garter toss. Miles caught the garter, and we convinced him that meant he had to marry Julia, the chick who caught the bouquet.”
I smiled. “The neighbor’s supposedly ugly daughter?”
Tater laughed. “Yeah, that’s the chick. And she is not ugly. He looked so freaked out, and after we took their picture, I had to tell him the truth. I wouldn’t put it past him to get us back somehow.”
Tater turned toward me. “Oh fuck, Brody, Em told me that you own one of the buildings my dad was trying to buy for his hotel project. That whole shit fucking sucked, Dude. You really should thank Kaelyn, though. She found out Tristan’s plan and worked privately with that historical society so they could shut him down.” He shrugged. “Who knew she’d be helping future family?”
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I should have trusted what I actually knew about Kaelyn, not her public image or her last name.
I really did have her all wrong.
And I really am an asshole.
Twenty Five
Kaelyn
I stayed in the bathroom I found away from the crowd. I admit it, I was hiding from the complications I had created. I spent the better part of an hour trying to collect myself, but every time I pulled myself together, a fresh round of guilt coupled with a healthy dose of tissue-caught tears fucked me up all over again.
If I had only talked to Brody… tried to find out the truth the moment I saw him enter the church instead of acting like a petulant child, things wouldn’t have gotten so screwed up.
And because of that, and my selfish wounded pride, I broke my promise and subsequently backed Dugger into a corner. And now? Well, now I hope things aren’t fucked up beyond repair with us. I don’t know how to face him. I love him, sure, but only like a brother. I never in my wildest dreams would have believed he felt anything but brotherly toward me. He hid it well.
God, what a shit show.
The bathroom door opened startling me. I turned away from the door and wiped my eyes and nose with one of the thousand pieces of toilet paper I had decimated.
“There you are,” Emily said, sounding relieved. She ran into a stall and locked herself in. “We’ve been wondering about you. Are you feeling okay? You missed the bouquet toss. I was hoping to throw it to you.”
I closed my eyes tightly and hoped when I spoke that my voice didn’t crack.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause concern. Do you need help holding your dress?”
“No, it’s why I chose a non-poufy dress. I knew I’d have to pee while wearing it.”
She emerged once she finished and moved to the counter to wash her hands. Looking up, she caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror.
“Oh, shit, girl. What happened?”
I smiled sadly. “Nothing you need to worry about on your wedding night.”
She placed her hands on my shoulders. “Fuck that, Kae. I’ll worry if you don’t tell me.”
Shit, she was offering a little sisterly kindness I didn’t think I deserved, so I threw myself at her, wrapping around her like a vine and burying my head on her shoulder, spewing out words like an erupting volcano of Beaker-voiced crazy.
“I met your cousin on the plane and liked him a lot, but he had the girlfriend he was about to ask to marry him, so I walked away. He found her cheating and got rip-roaring drunk. I somehow just happened to walk into the same bar where he got drunk and I agreed to help him get back at his girlfriend by pretending to be his fiancée, but it didn’t work out that way. We spent the night together, and it was the best night of sex I’ve ever had. I gave him my phone number, but he never called. And then I see him at your rehearsal and he looks at me like he hates me. I find out my dad fucked him over, but he says I was the one who fucked him over worse than my dad ever could have. My mom and I activated and baptized Peaches, but I know we did it wrong and now she’s angry…”
“Who’s Pea –” Emily tried to as
k, but I spoke over her.
“…and probably put a curse on me because when I tried to remove the wax from Dugger, it give him an allergic reaction that caused us to spend all of last night in the hospital. I’ve had very little sleep, and Brody thinks I was giving Dugger a blowjob, and I kissed Dugger in front of Brody to get back at him and pissed Dugger off so badly that he admitted he has been hiding his feelings for me. And now, I’m a fucking hot mess of stupid when all this could have been avoided because I should have talked to Brody but I didn’t, and so I’m just gonna hide in here until tomorrow and go back to Ruby’s with her tequila and M&M ice cream sandwiches and drown in my own dumbassity.”
“Um…” Emily mutters, rubbing my back to calm my breathing. “I’m gonna put a pin in the Peaches question because I really don’t feel she is the pressing problem, but just know I am curious.”
I let out a laugh and pulled back to look her in the eye.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t need to hear all that.”
She smiled, and I turned toward the mirror to scope the damage my little rant made to my face. It was obvious I’d been crying, but I could probably get away with blaming the wedding rather than anyone else suspecting the real reason for my tears.
“You know,” Emily said quietly, “Brody did try to call you. He thinks you gave him a fake number. That’s why he was so angry when he saw you.”
I whipped around to face her, disbelief on my face.
“After all we did and said, why would he think I would do that?”
“Well… because you kinda did. Whether you intended to or not, he has an incorrect phone number.”
I felt my mind go blank for a second before the thoughts played like the Daytona 500 in my head. He didn’t not call. All this animosity was for nothing. But because of our stupid prides, I ended up hurting one of the only men in my life who has never hurt me, who never deserved to be hurt, and who is very important to me, over someone who isn’t even… well, I’m not sure what he is or isn’t. Is he the one? I wasted the last three days fighting my attraction to Brody when he and I could have been… I don’t know, together, maybe? I know that I really liked the twenty-four hours we spent together. Even without the sex, he was pretty perfect. That stupid kiss… I hate that I hurt him… both of them. Douglass. Brody. Their pictures kept switching places in my head. The thoughts came faster and in layers. I had to ask myself how I was going to make this right.
