Devlin visibly gritted his teeth. “No, I haven’t.”
“Oh. Well, have you ever been to Hampstead?” Thom asked, as if he didn’t know the answer. Devlin just glared at him. “Has anyone you know ever been to Hampstead?” Thom continued, his voice hopeful, as if he were trying to help Devlin instead of sink his silly arguments.
“No,” Kitty said flatly. “It might as well be Constantinople as far as they’re concerned.”
“That’s not the point,” Devlin said, enunciating each word in that angry way of his that made Thom’s blood heat. Any minute Devlin would start ordering them around, and Thom would be lost. They’d never get to Hampstead at this rate. “The point is they could, at any time. We’ll be exiled from London. And eventually I’ll make a mistake. People in Hampstead will put two and two together and figure out where I’m from.”
“Well, they’re going to know we’re from London for sure,” Kitty said. “But that’s about all. The fact is, Devlin, outside of certain parts of London, no one knows your name. You have a chance to make a new name for yourself, doing something fine and good. Are you really going to throw that away?” She sniffed and Thom saw her wipe her nose inelegantly. “Do you realize how hard I worked to get this chance for you? For us?”
“I got Thom for you, Kitty,” Devlin said softly. “Isn’t that what you wanted? Isn’t he what you’ve always wanted? Respectability? A way out of London and the past?”
Thom felt that like a blow to the chest. “I’m a gift, then, am I?” he asked incredulously. “That you ‘got’. What the hell does that mean? As if you fished me from the sea or picked me up on Bond Street?”
There was a muscle ticking in Devlin’s jaw. “Yes. At least, that’s how it was in the beginning. I had to clean you up for her first, though. The drinking and the whoring had to stop. So I set out to fix you for her. And I succeeded. You know I did.”
“I don’t know any damn such thing,” Thom said, really angry now. “I cleaned myself up. I’m the one who stopped drinking and who hasn’t had a drink in weeks, although believe you me I wanted one. I want one right this minute. I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting one. Do you know why I did it? Why I’ll never take another drink? For you.” He pointed to Kitty and to Devlin. “Both of you. Oh yes, when I first stopped it was because I loved Kitty, I’ve always loved her since the first time we met and she walked right up and punched a blackguard in the face. But I wanted your respect, Devlin. I thought I’d earned it. But the truth is I’m nothing more than a pawn in your little game. A pet to be given away when it suits you.”
“That is not how I see you,” Devlin argued, his face red with anger. Thom wasn’t cowed, though he knew a host of people would call him a fool for it.
“I don’t think you see me at all, Devlin,” Thom said. “I’ve spent the last few weeks falling in love with you, planning a future with you and Kitty. You’ve spent them plotting how to get rid of us.”
“Damn it, that’s not true,” Devlin growled. “I…care for you. Do you think I’d give Kitty to you if I didn’t? My feelings for you are the reason I’ve got to go.”
“You’re running scared,” Kitty challenged him. “You’re scared of loving someone, Devlin. Of making promises and the expectation that you’ll keep them. Of having to accept our love and concern and even, yes damn it, gratitude. It’s going to get messy and out of your control, and that scares you to death.”
“The idea of anything happening to you two scares me to death,” Devlin shouted. “I died a thousand times over in the warehouse when I saw Thom hanging there, when they hurt him, when I thought they were going to kill him. I can’t do that again.”
“Oh, Dev,” Kitty said quietly. She walked up and put her hand on his chest. “You will do it again. We all will. That’s just life. Perhaps it’s not always a bastard like Kruger stringing us up, but there’s always something. And I need you. I need you by my side to help me through all that.” She reached back for Thom’s hand. “I need you too,” she said with a sad smile. “You’ve got to help me keep Devlin in line.”
Thom laughed and took her hand and then kissed her cheek. “He’s much better at keeping me in line. And now that he’s discovered how easy I am, he won’t even need the cold bucket.”
Devlin cracked a smile. “You are easy. Round-heeled little slut.”
Thom laughed out loud. He’d learned to like the sound of his own laughter the last few weeks. “I am. But only for you two now. Devlin, you’ve given me so much. You’ve given me back my laughter, and my self-respect. You’ve given me Kitty and hope for the future, where before I had none because I was so mired in the horrors of my past.” He stepped closer and cupped Devlin’s cheek, rough with stubble because they had no razor. “You’ve given me a glimpse of heaven, Devlin,” he whispered. “With you and Kitty. And I’ll fight for that. I’ll fight tooth and nail to keep it. If you think I’ll just let you walk away, you don’t really know me yet.”
“You could have heaven with Kitty,” Devlin whispered. He met Thom’s gaze and Thom could see the anguish in his eyes. “She’s the one you fell in love with. She’s the one who gave you all those things. Do you honestly think, a few years from now, you’ll be happy sharing her?”
“How long have you two been together?” Thom asked Kitty.
There were tears in her eyes, and one escaped to roll down her cheek. She brushed it away. “We met over fifteen years ago.”
“When did you fall in love with Devlin?”
She chuckled. “The minute I saw him.”
Thom turned back to Devlin, but his question was directed at Kitty. “When we met, were you with Devlin then?”
“Yes.” She laid her cheek on Devlin’s chest. “He’d just come back into my life, and I’d sworn never to let him go again.”
Thom could see dawning understanding on Devlin’s face. “I’ve always shared her with you, Devlin,” Thom whispered. “I fell in love with a woman who was in love with you. Part of who she was when I fell in love with her was because of her love for you. So yes, I can honestly see myself happy sharing her with you many, many years down the road.”
“When did you fall in love with Thom?” Devlin whispered.
“The minute I saw him,” Kitty said. “It was the same for both of you, as if I’d been struck by lightning.”
“How does that make you feel?” Thom asked. He let go of Devlin’s cheek, a chill racing down his back. “Is it you who can’t see sharing her with me? How you must have hated me when Kitty fell in love with me.”
Devlin shook his head, his arms going around Kitty. “No, I didn’t. Because I saw in you all the things she needed. The things she deserved that I couldn’t give her.”
“A way out?” Thom asked sadly. He’d wanted to be so much more to Devlin.
“Yes,” Devlin said unapologetically. “You don’t know. You haven’t been where we have.”
“No.” Thom sighed. “I guess I haven’t.” Devlin reached out to grab his arm, but Thom stepped back, out of his reach. “If this is truly what you want, Devlin, then go. Leave. I’ll pick up the pieces of Kitty’s broken heart and I’ll carry on. I’m sure I’ve been through worse.”
Devlin looked as though he’d slapped him.
“Thom, no,” Kitty said, tears in her voice. “Don’t let him go. He doesn’t want to, not really.” She clutched the lapels of Devlin’s jacket and begged him. “Please, Devlin. Tell him. Tell him how you really feel. Don’t be scared. Don’t try to fix this. There’s nothing to fix. We can have it. We can.”
Thom could see the indecision on Devlin’s face. His brows were lowered in uncertainty. And Thom knew Kitty was right. Devlin was scared. “Devlin?” he asked quietly. Because this was it. Devlin had to go all in with them, or it wasn’t going to work and he might as well leave.
“What happened to fighting for this?” Devlin asked gruffly.
“I can’t fight what’s inside you, Devlin,” he said. “I had to fight my own demons, I c
an’t fight yours. Only you can.” He couldn’t stay away, so he stepped up close to Devlin and brushed a lock of hair of his forehead. “Just know that even if you leave, you’ll always be with us. If you think leaving is a noble way of letting us be together, you couldn’t be more wrong. You’re as much a part of this as we are. There will always be a place for you here in our hearts. Don’t leave thinking that will ever change. It won’t.”
“Do you ever say the wrong thing?” Devlin whispered.
“Half the time I don’t even know what I’m saying, so I’m sure it’s bound to happen.” Thom gave him a little half-smile. “Was that the right thing?”
Devlin nodded. He closed his eyes and pressed his face to Kitty’s hair. “I don’t want to be alone,” he admitted so softly Thom almost didn’t hear him.
“You’ll never be alone,” Kitty said, hugging him tightly. “You’ll get so sick of us we’ll have a huge row every couple of weeks because you never get any peace.”
Devlin huffed out laugh. “Will we? And will you make it up to me?” He opened his eyes and pinned Thom with a heated look.
Thom felt such relief coursing through him. They’d won. “Yes,” he whispered. “But you’ll have to tell me how.”
“Oh, he will,” Kitty said, amusement in her voice. “Don’t worry. He will.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Kitty’s heart sank when they pulled up in front of a huge, dilapidated house. “What’s this?” she asked Hastings.
“The hospital. Or it will be, after you get it fixed up.” He looked at the horror on all their faces. “I see. Sir Barnabas failed to mention the condition of the building, didn’t he?” He sounded resigned.
“Yes,” Thom said. He was peering out the window with a frown. “Obviously there are no patients yet?”
Hastings shook his head. “No. It’s still just a house. Sir Barnabas felt it was better to let you fix it the way you wanted it. He did tell the patrons who’ve donated money to expect it to be open and functioning by fall.”
“Fall?” Devlin exclaimed. “Well, that doesn’t give us much time.” He threw open the carriage door and climbed out, staring up at the old house. “Is the roof sound? How much money do we have?”
Hastings followed him out. “I haven’t any idea,” he told him. He handed over some papers. “Here is all the information. By the way, your marriage license is on the top.”
“You mean Thom and Kitty’s,” Devlin said distractedly as he opened the file.
“No,” Hastings told him with a wry grin. “I mean yours and Kitty’s. Sir Barnabas anticipates all eventualities. He had two drawn up.”
Devlin began poring over the papers. “Good, good,” he said, reading the papers. “The sooner the better. What?” he exclaimed, waving a paper around. “He expects us to get it in shape for this amount of money? Is he mad?”
Kitty shared a grin with Thom. There was nothing Devlin liked better than a challenge. Thom climbed out and handed her down.
Just then a very pretty blonde woman and two gentlemen came out of the house. They looked vaguely familiar to Kitty, but she couldn’t place them. They were dressed well, but not in the height of London fashion.
“Mrs. Markham?” the woman said. “We met at Mrs. Tarrant’s. I’m Lady Vanessa Wilkes.” She turned to the dark-haired gentleman beside her. “My husband, Mr. Wilkes.” She turned and rested her hand on the arm of the tall blond gentleman at her other side. “And our dearest friend, Mr. Gabriel.”
Kitty did remember meeting the aristocratic beauty. She was from one of the wealthiest and most well-respected families in Britain. Society had been beyond shocked when she’d married the commoner Nicholas Wilkes, a veteran of the war like so many men Kitty knew. Behind closed doors it was whispered that Mr. Gabriel was their lover. Kitty knew it to be true, of course. Lady Vanessa and Kate’s niece, Very Tarrant, were great friends, and Very had told Kitty so. The three now resided in Oxford, if she remembered correctly.
“How do you do?” Kitty said, shaking hands. “This is my fiancé, Mr. Devlin O’Shaughnessy, and our dear friend, Doctor Peters.” Kitty knew the right language to use when introductions were made. She’d watched her friends do it for years. It gave her a thrill to finally be able to do it herself. She watched all the men shake hands. Thom clearly knew what was going on. Devlin must have suspected from the look on his face. He gave Kitty a wry smile.
Lady Vanessa smiled. “We’re so glad you’ve finally arrived.” She linked arms with Kitty. “You’re probably wondering what we’re doing here.”
“It did cross my mind,” Kitty said politely. She smelled Sir Barnabas at work again. “Did you come from Oxford?”
Lady Vanessa nodded. “A great friend of ours, Lord Wetherald, contacted us and asked us to look into the property. Apparently he’s already donated some funds to help with the renovation.” Devlin quickly flipped through the papers in his hand and then nodded when he obviously found Wetherald’s name. “As we’ve had some experience with this sort of venture, he thought we might be able to offer some assistance.” She glanced back at the house with a sigh as she pursed her lips. “I had no idea there was so much work to be done. They waited, you know, until they found a doctor.”
“Experience?” Thom asked curiously.
“Oh yes. Charity work is my passion,” Lady Vanessa said. She looked over at her husband and Mr. Gabriel. “Well, one of them.” She shared a little smile with them, and Kitty knew why they stayed in Oxford. It was hard for these three to hide their relationship.
“We would greatly appreciate your help,” she said, squeezing Lady Vanessa’s arm. “I haven’t done much work of this sort.”
“Oh, it will be so much easier for you than it was for me,” Lady Vanessa said. “You’re lucky you have your shop experience. Learning how to keep the books and juggle funds was the most difficult part for me. But you’ve already done that.”
Kitty could tell there was only admiration behind her words. “True,” she said. “But time will tell.”
“Wetherald is looking at that piece of property over there, as well,” Mr. Gabriel said, pointing to a spot down the road a bit. “For a charity school for boys.”
That caught Devlin’s attention. “That’s a good idea,” he said slowly, staring at the barren land. “We can do that.” He turned back to Mr. Gabriel. “Street lads?”
Mr. Gabriel nodded. “I believe so. Wetherald is a great believer in the power of education to provide opportunities to those who otherwise might not have them.”
“He knows what he’s talking about,” Devlin said flatly. Something in his tone must have given him away. Mr. Gabriel shared a look with Mr. Wilkes.
“Would you care to go over to that piece of property with us?” Mr. Wilkes asked politely. “We haven’t had a chance to look it over yet.”
Devlin turned to her and Thom, the question on his face.
“Go on,” Thom said with a laugh. “We’ll be fine. This isn’t going anywhere,” he said dramatically, waving his hand at the dilapidated hospital. “We’ll take a turn around while you’re gone. Get some idea of the layout.”
“All right then,” Devlin said with a grin. He rolled up the papers in his hands and shoved them at Thom. “Don’t lose those.” He turned to walk away and then stopped abruptly, came back and took the papers back. “Never mind. I’ll watch those.” He shoved them in his coat and hurried after the other two men.
Thom laughed and shrugged at Kitty and Lady Vanessa. “He knows me well.”
“There are two men named Rufus and Clarence inside,” Lady Vanessa said. “They’ve been waiting for you.”
“Excellent,” Thom said, rubbing his hands together. “I was going to send for Clarence.” He started toward the house with a wave for Kitty. “I’ll find you,” he said over his shoulder as he went inside.
Kitty just stood there for a moment, her heart in her throat. She looked around at the stark landscape, untouched by spring as yet. But she imagined it coul
d be beautiful in spring. She’d plant a garden to the side of the hospital. There was one there now, overgrown and in need of care. And she’d watch the books for Thom and help run this place. And the school. Devlin wouldn’t let that rest. It was the one thing he’d always dreamed of, going to school. Now he could make that dream come true for lads like he’d been. It wouldn’t be easy. None of it would. But they’d fight whatever battles came their way together. Tears pricked her eyes.
“Are you all right, Mrs. Markham?” Lady Vanessa asked quietly.
“I’m just so very happy,” she said foolishly.
“Yes,” Lady Vanessa said. “I understand.”
And Kitty rather thought she did.
“So I thought we’d get the hospital done first,” Devlin was saying as he put more food on Thom’s plate. They had adjourned for the night to the local inn, which was a very respectable place, well-appointed and with excellent fare. Thom was already so full he didn’t think he could stand, but Devlin kept telling him he needed to fatten up. “Then we’ll build the school. Wilkes said his wife and Lord Wetherald have the connections to help us find more patrons. Lots of deep pockets in that crowd,” he went on. “Although according to some of the papers Sir Barnabas left for us, I could pay for it. He was quite generous when he confiscated my legitimate businesses.”
Thom had never heard him sound so excited.
“I didn’t even know you had legitimate businesses,” Kitty said, making Thom laugh.
“Of course I do. Er, did,” Devlin said, smiling. “I started expanding my interests when you bought the shop. You kept nagging me to get out of the black market and to close the houses and all that. So I started shifting some money around. I owned some shops, had a partnership in some textile factories, a bit of property around town, that sort of thing.”
Devlin sounded just a bit too casual about it all. Thom set down his fork and leaned back in his chair. “Just how much did Sir Barnabas give you for all those?” he asked. “Do you still have any of them?”
FightforLove Page 21
