“He would always talk about you like you were at work or something ‘when my Daddy gets home will he play Lego with me mummy?’ or one time when he was six when James had beaten me, he’d listened . . . to my screams and then curled up in bed with me and he said . . . and he said ‘Shall I look for my Daddy? He’ll help us mummy, he loves us,’” I sobbed.
Nate came to me, pulling me into his arms. “Oh Liv, I’m so sorry,” he whispered in my hair as I trembled.
“He’s back, Nate,” I sobbed. “What am I gonna do?”
He pulled me across to one of the stools and onto his lap. “I’m here baby, I won’t let him hurt you,” he murmured. “I promise,” he added with certainty.
“No, Nate!” I stood and looked up at him, the fear in me pushing me into what I needed to do. “I can’t be with you, not now.” I shook my head at him in horror. “You can’t be with me, Nate.”
He shot off the stool and took hold of my arms. “Liv!” His own fear was written on his face, but not for the dread of James but the panic in what I was doing. “Baby, no.” He shook his head desperately. “Don’t do this Liv, please.”
I thumped my fists on his chest. “He will fucking kill you, Nate” I screamed, hitting my fists into him again. “He hates you . . . with a passion Nate, because of how much I loved you. And I do Nate, I love you too much to risk losing you.”
I was now pummelling him. He just stood and let me, let me get it out and let me sob horrifically as I punched him, over and over until I was spent and he pulled me to the floor, pinning me in his embrace.
I was in Nate’s shower, the soothing water enhancing my senses back to life, my eyes closed in the ecstasy of its warm embrace.
What the hell was I going to do? I couldn’t let Nate suffer for me, if I left him it would rip him in two and if I didn’t he’d still suffer but at the fate of James’ hands.
A part of me wished I’d never dragged him into my pathetic life again; he’d be content and running around chasing various women, probably Eleanor, although the thought of that nearly ripped me in two.
I was afraid for the kids, glad they were on holiday, where James couldn’t get to them. I was worried about Jay being at university alone; James had hated Jay, for the reason that he was Nate’s son. He’d always been cruel to him and I had tried my best to compensate for that when I was with him, always showering him with love and time. We’d had to keep the box a secret from James and hide it away, always adding things like videos and letters when it was safe to do so.
I suddenly started to panic, I had to ring him and let him know James was out. Scurrying from the shower and into the bedroom, I started looking for my bag and began to freak out when I couldn’t find it.
“NATE!” I yelled, “NATE!” I was losing control as he came rushing up the stairs and stopped dead in the doorway, watching me rip his bedroom apart completely and utterly naked, water dripping off me all over his expensive plush carpet, looking for my bag.
“Where’s my bag, Nate?” I yelled at him.
He frowned at me. “What’s wrong?” he asked calmly walking into the bedroom.
“My fucking bag, Nate! Where is it?”
He held his hands up in front of him trying to quieten me down. “Liv? It’s in the kitchen.” I stormed past him and ran down the stairs, still entirely stark-naked. “Liv?” he shouted as he scuttled after me, “Baby?”
I came to a halt in the kitchen, my gaze urgently scanning the area. “I need my phone, Nate,” I shouted, thinking he was still upstairs then jumped when I turned and he was stood behind me.
He dashed across the kitchen and into a door and came out of it with my bag. “Baby, don’t you think you ought to put some clothes on?” he grimaced, his finger half pointing to my body.
I realised he was turned on as he shifted himself in his trousers. Glaring at him, I rummaged through my bag and retrieved my phone, quickly selecting Jay’s number, tapping my foot impatiently while it connected.
“Hi, Mum.” His voice suddenly calmed me. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. “You okay?” he asked hesitantly.
“Jay . . . Jay, I . . . sweetheart,” I stuttered, I couldn’t get the words out with the relief of hearing his voice. “Sweetheart . . . I . . .”
“Mum! You’re scaring me, what’s wrong?” he urged. Nate appeared beside me as he realised I wanted to warn Jay. He held out his hand to me and gestured for me to hand him my phone so I passed it him slowly.
“Jay, it’s . . . your . . . it’s Nate. Your Mum wanted to tell you that . . . well . . . James is out, Jay!” he finally declared. I heard Jay say ‘shit.’ “Yeah, I’ve got her here with me, she’s fine.” He sat on the kitchen stool as his legs shook, finally talking to his son. “I won’t let anything happen to her I promise.” He paused as Jay spoke and nodded to Jay or himself, I wasn’t quite sure. “I know, I know.” Nodding again. A slight smile twitched his lips. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
He looked away from me, his gaze through the window and nodded to himself again “We can come up to you if you want. It would give your Mum a break from what’s going on.” He paused again. “Okay. Tuesday then, I’ll send you my number, text me a time.” Nodding again he ended the call and sat staring out to the glorious scenery outside.
I walked over to him, lifted his chin and wiped the teardrop from his cheek, placing it on my lips then kissed him tenderly, giving him all that I had to offer him in that kiss, telling him how much I loved him and needed him.
“You know,” I whispered, tilting my head a little in contemplation. “I never did manage to finish my shower.” I gave him a pout. “Struggled to wash my back. And I’m all dirty.”
His lips rose into a lazy grin. “Need help with that, baby?” He pulled me up the stairs into the huge bathroom situated on the landing.
He spun me round and kissed me greedily, as if he couldn’t get close enough and needed to be inside me. I kissed him back with the same lust, passion and craving. God! I loved this man, he was my life and there was no way I could ever let him go again.
He spun me round to face the huge mirror resting above the low vanity, me naked and pink, him behind me with his chin on my shoulder, hard and bronzed but it was the look in his eyes that grabbed my attention; it was pure lust, carnal and primal and it made my insides quiver.
His hands came up to cup my breasts. His thumbs brushed over my nipples, making them pucker in his touch. “Look how fucking beautiful you are, Liv,” he whispered in my ear. “Look how utterly sexy you are when you’re turned on.”
I sucked in a breath, my core lighting up at his words. His mouth moved down my neck, goosebumps rising in its wake. I closed my eyes, utterly aroused.
“Open your eyes, Angel. See what I see when you come.” His hand slid down my stomach and cupped my mound. My breath was shallow and slow as I opened my eyes and watched every move he made; one hand still teasing my breast, his other stroking my groove as he continued kissing and licking my neck, his eyes locked onto mine in the mirror.
Slowly he traced my clit with his thumb and I moaned, grabbing hold of the edge of the counter as he ground his jean encased erection into my bottom. “You make me so hard when I look at you, Angel,” he said on a small groan as he slipped two fingers into me. I bent my head back onto his shoulder as I continued to watch his face, the hunger and desire painted across it.
His hand continued to work me as his other hand came down and slipped to join the other, taking over from the other to rub at my bud and I felt the onslaught that was going to hit me hard.
His fingers slipped out of me and made their way towards my bottom, spreading my arousal that was slick on his fingers. His other hand took over and sank into my sex, I gasped, my eyes flying wide as his finger pressed against my anus. “Shush Baby, trust me.” His fingers worked inside me as his other inched into my behind.
I was anxious and so bloody horny at the same time. “Touch yourself, baby,” Nate whispered. I frowned at him in the mir
ror. “Slip your hand down and touch your clit, Angel.” He was panting now, his stiff erection still rubbing at my backside along with his finger.
Never leaving his gaze, I slowly slid my hand down to my own arousal as his fingers now deftly plunged in and out, down to his knuckles as his other rubbed at my tight hole.
My fingers found my clit and as the climax started to build, he slipped his finger gently into me, inch by inch, slowly but firmly. I screamed as my orgasm rocked me to the core, the erotic feeling of being so full wiping me out as I bucked against his hand.
“Open your eyes, baby. Look how you fucking glow as I make you come.” He continued to work me, slowly bringing me down from my high as our eyes linked, watching each other intensely.
I heard his zip as he lowered his trousers and freed his rigid cock before he slammed into me, all the way to my womb. “FUCK!! BABY!” he cried. “Don’t move,” he warned, blowing out a long breath. We were immobile, him confined inside me as we gazed at our reflection.
He slowly started moving, lazily thrusting in and out as his hands came round to circle my waist, increasing the pressure in me, pumping harder and faster, pounding into me as I slammed back on him.
“God Nate, make me come, make me come hard!” I shouted as he gave me a single hard thrust.
“Like that, baby?” Another hard push. His fingers slid between my legs to stroke me as a loud guttural growl left my mouth.
“LIV!” he roared, an animalistic yell when he gave me one last hard drive. We both erupted together, heads flung back in pleasure and bliss as we panted hard and fast, him clung to me and me clung to the vanity.
“Fucking hell!” he croaked out on as he carried on spurting into me, shuddering. His head rested on my back as I reached round and slid my hand round the back of his thigh, just for need to touch him.
“Nate,” I wheezed. He gently slipped out of me, turned me to face him, lifted me onto the counter and stood between my legs, embracing me as he rested his head between my breasts.
“Angel.” He sighed. “Please don’t leave me,” he pleaded with a yearning in his voice.
I shook my head. I couldn’t ever leave him again, even if I tried. “Never, Nate.” I laid my hands in his silky curls as he exhaled profoundly. “Never,” I repeated on a whisper.
Chapter Twenty-One
WE LAY IN Nate’s huge, sumptuous bed; my head resting on his chest as he trailed lazy circles on my back. I could tell there was something on his mind but we were both quiet.
“Talk to me, tell me what’s on your mind,” I implored.
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, Angel.”
“Nate, tell me.”
He sighed heavily. “Did James, did James ever hit Jay?” I felt him stiffen in anticipation for the answer.
“No,” I answered him quietly. “I wouldn’t ever let him do that.”
He turned slightly into me, his hand moving to stroke my cheek. “But . . . but how did you stop him, Liv? By the sounds of it, he wasn’t a man that would ever back down, especially to you.”
I sighed and turned to sit on the edge of the bed so I didn’t have to see his face as I said the next words. “I manipulated him to take his temper out on me instead.”
“Fuck, Liv” he puffed, knowing exactly what I was saying. “You let that bastard beat and rape you to protect our son!” The rage in him was seeping out of his pores and I stiffened, ashamed of my life.
He came to sit behind me, his legs on either side of me and brought his arms round my stomach to encircle me protectively. “The thought of him having to listen to your screams hurts me so much,” he murmured, resting his cheek against my back.
I bit my bottom lip and swallowed. “I’m sorry I did that to him Nate, I’m sorry.”
He slid round to the side of me and grasped my chin, turning my face to look at him. “No, you have nothing to be sorry for. The courage of what you did to protect Jay, when I was probably sunning myself in some fucking hot non-descript bloody country, shagging anything with tits, it makes me so fucking angry at myself.” I became rigid at his words. “Shit, I didn’t mean it to come out like that. I just meant while you were going through that, I didn’t have a care in my bloody farce of a life, because that’s what it was without you Liv, a shitty meaningless life and every day was filled with a bloody desperate longing for you.”
I wrapped my arms around his, holding him tightly to me, nuzzling my head into his neck. “I won’t ever let you go, Liv. I won’t let him hurt you and the kids anymore, Okay?”
I gave him a hint of a nod. “But you don’t know him Nate, you don’t know what he’s capable of.”
“I do, Liv,” he said gently. “I see it in your face, in your daily fear, the scars on your beautiful body and in your eyes; the hurt, devastation and utter terror in your eyes. I see it all, Angel.”
* * *
It was late afternoon and we were in the lounge, curled up together on the couch chilling as music played in the background while we chatted and I brought him up to speed on Jay’s life.
“The memory box was a great thing to do Liv; it’s helped me so much. It’s like I haven’t really missed too much of his life, like it’s all there in glorious Technicolor. Thank you for that, for bringing him up as though I was there with you both.” He chuckled to himself. “My favourite piece from the box is the video of his fifth birthday, the one where he’s telling me everything what he’d had, and the slice of cake he had saved for me sat on the paper plate on his knee.” Nate chuckled, a happy grin on his face.
“Oh my God, I remember that one. He was adamant he was saving that piece for you, on that little paper plate but James had told him to stop been so bloody stupid.” I shivered, remembering James’ rage that day but then I laughed and turned my face to look at him. “Do you know, after that day I kept going in his room for weeks and there was this god awful smell, I couldn’t figure it out. I eventually found the paper plate complete with mouldy cake in his toy box. He said he had put it in there so his toy soldiers would protect it from James.” I laughed with Nate.
“That’s so sweet,” he chuckled.
I nodded, smiling softly. “He was a good kid Nate, he still is. He got your determination and grit in life as well as your beautiful eyes.”
He smiled and kissed the top of my head. “Liv?” I turned to face him, the seriousness in his voice attracting my attention, “Why can’t you have any more kids?” he murmured as though frightened to ask or if I would take his question the wrong way.
I smiled at him, “Nothing what you’re thinking, Nate. I’ve been clipped, that’s all.” He frowned at me, puzzled. “I had a C-section with Matt and I asked them to clip me while they were there.” He nodded slowly. “I didn’t want to bring any more children into my sorry life, Nate.” I shrugged.
His eyes locked on mine, searching the depths. “Are the . . . are the clips permanent?”
I frowned as I also searched his gaze. “What are you asking, Nate?”
He shifted in his seat, uncomfortable. “Nothing I . . .”
He didn’t finish as my phone rang from across the coffee table. Nate bent over to pick it up and saw the unknown caller alert. “I’ll answer it, okay?” he said in a way that told me not to argue. I nodded to him.
“Hello.” He frowned slightly. “Yes, can I ask who’s calling please?” His brow wrinkled again. “DC Mandy Yale,” he told me with uncertainty.
I sighed and nodded. “It’s okay, Nate.” I took the phone from him.
DC Mandy Yale had been my personal police officer when I had to take James through the courts to finally send him down; she had been there every step of the way and done her upmost to take him there. She had seen what he was capable of and the kind of bastard he really was and for that I would be in her debt forever.
“Mandy, it’s Olivia Adams,” I said into the phone as Nate continued to look at me with confusion.
“Olivia, Mandy Yale. Listen I have some news for you
.” She paused as if not sure how to tell me, so I helped her along.
“I know Mandy, James has been released.” I sighed down the phone to her.
“Olivia, I’m so sorry. I’ve only just found out, if someone had informed me earlier I would have rung you straight away. How do you know?” She questioned as an afterthought.
“Because he’s been sneaking into my house. He sent me a dead cat with a noose around its neck.” Nate stiffened and I heard him suck in a breath.
“Olivia, why the hell didn’t you ring me?” she asked, sternly.
“Because I didn’t know it was him until he rang me last night.” I answered.
I heard her gasp. “He rang you?”
I sighed again. “Yes, he rang on a withheld number, probably from an unregistered phone, so there was no point in reporting it, Mandy.”
I heard her pull in a breath through the phone. “He’s been released early for good behaviour. He did a deal of some sorts with the prison and CID. I don’t know what it was because it’s all quite hush, hush,” she told me. “But there is a restraining order out Olivia and he isn’t allowed near you.”
I laughed bitterly. “Mandy, he doesn’t live by the rules, you know that as much as I do.” I took a deep breath. “He will get to me Mandy, we both know he will and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it until it’s too late.”
Nate’s hand grabbed mine. I turned to look at him, his face was completely and totally broken, the realization of what might happen snapping into his brain and building his fear for me, for his son.
* * *
Monday morning came and Nate was very pissed off with me. “Liv, you’re not going into work!” he notified me, his face tight.
“Yes. I. Am. Nate,” I said slowly. “I am not gonna let him dictate my life again.” I sighed as he groaned in frustration. “And I’m going home tonight.”
These words pushed him over the edge. “YOU ARE FUCKING NOT!” he bellowed, angrily.
The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone Page 21
