Dear Dad,
Well, here it is . . . the final letter. I have waited 19 long years to write this one and my hands are shaking but there is a huge smile on my face, lightness in my chest and a feeling of contentment so considerable that it all seems surreal.
This will be the last letter to you, as now we can start building our own memories, life and relationship together, as a family. Please don’t blame Mum for what she did all those years ago. I don’t resent her for it, in fact I’m damn proud of what she did. She is the most selfless person I will ever know. She always made sure you were a constant in my life even though you weren’t there in person; always telling me about you, how much you loved me and how much you loved her. She made sure I knew exactly who my Father was and what he was.
What she did, she did for you Dad, and all the love she had for you was the reason she chose not to tell you; she chose to put your ambitions, happiness and dreams before her own and to see the person you are now I can see why she did that.
I have taken your role in her life as importantly as she took yours in mine. I have supported, cared for and loved her as I know you would have done.
I have embraced her, encouraged her and pulled her through her darkest days, while I stepped into your place; the heart crushing days of lifting her up and pushing her onwards after James, holding her hand through courts and hospital operations to keep her from going insane.
My only regret is the one time in her life when she desperately needed you; I wasn’t there for her, as I lay unconscious in a hospital bed by my own stupidity of joy-riding. The one and only time I couldn’t stand listening to her cry for you.
She never knew I could hear her, and it was heart breaking listening to her sob and tell you she needed you Dad, the one time she ever regretted not telling you about me. The memory of her telling you that she was sorry, so sorry for you never knowing me will haunt me forever.
I have tried my best to take care of her for you but now I step back and hand the reins to you, and I trust you with all my soul to do all that I did and more.
But I mostly want to thank you for the love and devotion you gave her before James. It was those memories and recollections of her life and love with you that dragged her through the most terrifying days of her life, when she couldn’t see an end in sight; those were the days I would catch her smiling to herself as she remembered you, and that life can be good and people could love her more than life itself. You helped her through even though you weren’t with her physically . . . Thank You!
My final words are that I always loved you Dad, you were always in my heart and thoughts and now I continue to love you as a figure in mine and Mums life, the way it should be.
Yours Always,
Jay
Folding the letter carefully I handed it to Nate, my vision blurred and my throat constricted. I stood and walked round to him, curled onto his lap and cried with him.
We wept for lost days, anger at what could have been and most importantly what life had thrown at us both.
“Thank you,” Nate whispered as he stroked the tears away from my face. I tilted my head and regarded him.
“For what?”
He smiled gently and touched one of my tears to his lips. “For Jay, for what he is, for how you brought him up with my memory, and for you. You are the one thing in my life that makes me a better person. Yours and Jay’s love are the most precious things I have ever owned and I will not chance that but Jay’s right, it’s my turn to look after you now, Liv. It’s my turn to be what you need me to be. My turn to show you how good life can be and my turn to love you with everything I possess. You have done that for me for over twenty years Liv, now it’s time I returned that.”
I stroked his cheek and gave him a soft smile. “I know you love me Nate, I know you always loved me just like I did you. Jay was right when he said you helped me through the darkness because it was our memories that I would focus on. The happy times, the love-making, even our bloody arguments helped me through because they were my happiest days, and I knew that deep down I would see you again. I kept myself alive just for that one day when I would see your beautiful face again, Nate.” I rested my head on his shoulder as he rested his chin on my head. We sat there for a long time, both lost in our own thoughts.
“I better go,” I murmured eventually, still tucked under his chin. Nate patted my backside as I climbed off his lap and picked up my bag.
“There’s someone you need to meet first,” he said rather sheepishly. I frowned at him as he led me from the office and out of the front door.
In front of the doors was a huge dark-skinned man in a crisp suit stood beside a Jag XJ the same as Nate’s. He nodded to me as we approached. “Miss Adams.” He smiled, at least I think it was a smile.
“Liv, this is Neo. He’ll be driving you and taking care of you,” Nate told me without looking my way.
“Nate, I can’t have a guard today, I’ve got things to do.”
He looked at me sharply. “What things?”
I shrugged. “Just some things I need to sort out.”
Narrowing his eyes at me, he bit his lip irritated, “Liv, you can’t be keeping secrets from me when that bastards out there. I need to know you’re safe, baby.”
I sighed. “I know Nate but . . . but . . .”
He glared at me. “But nothing Liv. Neo will take you wherever you need to go. He’s under strict orders NOT to leave your side so don’t give him any grief!” I sighed and nodded as he leant down to kiss me. “Please baby, I have to work from home this morning and then I’ve got meetings all afternoon. I need to know you are okay,” he pleaded.
I relented, my heart aching for him. “Okay, I promise.” He smiled and covered my mouth with his, kissing me passionately. “I’ll see you later” I said as I climbed in the back of the Jag.
We pulled out of the gates and as Neo veered towards NSC I tapped on the privacy window. Setting it down, he looked at me questioningly. “I need to be somewhere else this morning.”
He nodded as I told him the address. “But please don’t say anything to Mr Carter, I don’t want him to know about this.”
He smiled softly and it made a complete difference to his hard face, softening it at once, “Mr Carter might be my client, but you are my detail, Miss Adams and it is your needs that I am here for.” He winked and I grinned back.
“Then I think we are gonna get on just fine, Neo.” He nodded happily and proceeded to turn the car around.
Chapter Twenty-Four
FRIDAY MORNING SAW me up before Nate, he had now idea I had remembered and had mentioned nothing about his birthday.
I made him a breakfast tray of croissants, toast and coffee and quietly placed it on the floor as I slipped out of my robe. I slipped into my red stilettos as I fixed a new tie I had bought him around my neck and sat in the chair waiting for him to wake.
He began to stir and I draped one leg over the arm of the chair, giving him a full glorious view of my . . . shoes. He opened his eyes, shut them again and then swiftly opened then wide.
“Good morning,” he said with a huge grin.
“Good morning,” I purred running my fingers down the edge of the tie. “I bought you this for your birthday. Do you like it?” I asked, a lazy smile lifting my lips.
“I like it very much.” He grinned as I stood and walked over to the tray and bent down very slowly to pick it up. “Oh, wow.” He breathed and I turned back to him.
“Breakfast?” I asked seductively. His gaze stoned me and flipped my insides. “Maybe not yet then,” I murmured as I climbed on the bed and straddled him.
“Happy Birthday, Nate” I leaned over and slid my tongue across his lips. His hands came up to cup my bottom as my tongue slipped into his mouth and stroked his tongue.
He moaned deeply as I grinded against his stiff hard on, his fingers digging deeper into the cheeks of my arse. I gasped as his bar slipped across my engorged clit, lighting an intense throb inside me.
My lips left his as I licked down his neck and sucked at the bottom of his throat, my fingers finding his erection and softly stroking the head. My mouth carried on with its adventure, kissing and licking across his clavicle and down to his nipples, flicking and brushing them as his hips jerked and my hand got tighter as my thumb stroked his slit.
“Fuck me, Liv” he groaned.
My eyes lifted to his as I gave him a sly smile. “Not here. I want you to fuck me hard . . . Against the wall, Nate.”
He inhaled noisily as I gave him a sexy smile, climbed off him and walked over to the wall. I gave him a lewd look over my shoulder as I palmed the wall, spreading my hands and legs, my arse wiggling at him.
He climbed out of bed leisurely and strolled over to me irritatingly slow, his stiff cock jutting towards the skies and a lustful look in his eye. He pressed up against me, pushing me further into the wall. His hands came around the front of me and held my breasts. “You want it hard, baby?” he asked hoarsely in my ear.
“Yes, Nate,” I purred, highly aroused and throbbing forcefully.
He pressed his erection into my back as his lips found my neck and he kneaded my breasts “How hard, Angel?”
I gulped a moan out as his cock slipped between my legs. “Very hard, Nate.”
He growled and one hand clamped my wrists as he pinned them above my head and the other came down to stroke my clit. He nudged my legs further apart with his knee and he inched into me slowly. I let out a deep groan, my palms starting to sweat as the pressure in me built.
“Harder Nate, I need it hard.” I groaned again as his hand left my clit and he wrapped my hair around his wrist as he pulled my head back slightly.
“You want fucking raw, baby?”
“Yes! Nate, fuck me now,” I begged, my arousal now at striking point.
He drew back and slammed into me hard, his wide girth and length filling me completely, stretching my walls to within their limits as he drove me high and wild. “Like that, Liv?” he shouted as he hammered into me again, my wrists still pinioned above me and my chest squashed into the wall.
“God yes, like that! Fuck, that’s good.”
He continued his onslaught driving me into my orgasm quickly and harshly as he ground his hips, screwing into me with a force. “God you’re hot, Liv” he grated. “I could watch you like this all day.” He grunted and burst inside me, his hands leaving my wrists as he enveloped me and held on so we wouldn’t both collapse, trying to calm his breathing.
I rested my head against the wall, panting hard, my legs quivering in my stilettos.
He slipped out of me, picked me up and laid me on the bed and slipped off my shoes, dropping them to the floor. “I love those shoes.” He groaned. “And my birthday tie, although I think it suits you more,” he grinned.
I rolled into him, resting my head on his chest, my fingers stroking his scroll tattoo as his fingers stroked down my back.
“Happy Birthday, babe” I murmured against him.
“Well I hope the day continues as well as it started,” he chuckled.
After a few lazy moments I left the bed and opening his wardrobe, pulled out a large present and handed it to him.
He sat up and grinned as he tore the paper off it, his breath catching as he took in the watercolour of me and him. It had been our graduation ball and we were dancing and laughing on the terrace of the country manor where it was held; him in a tux and me in a pale pink ball gown as the sun set behind us while Beth had snapped the photo of us. It had been my favourite photo and I’d had to hide it from James for years as he had torn up my other ones of Nate. I had taken the old photo to an artist and had it replicated into a large watercolour, framed it and wrote on the back;
Nate
I will always protect your soul because you own my heart
Yours always
Your Angel xxx
His fingers moved over the painting as his mind shot back twenty years. I could see the different emotions crossing his face as the memory of that night came back. “I remember looking at you that night as you came out of your door, my breathing had stopped and there was this fire in me, one that burned in my chest.” He cocked his head, still viewing the memories. “You were so beautiful, you actually took my breath and my legs shook.”
I stroked his cheek, a gentle smile on my face as I too remember feeling the same emotions as I first saw him in a tux, the sharpness of his eyes against his long soft eyelashes, the slim bowtie against his hard thick neck, the suit laying tightly against his powerful muscles and the look on his face when he saw me. I will remember that look forever, because it was the one I always saw in the dreadful times after James had had a rampage, the memory that got me through the night into the next morning.
He turned it and read the inscription, his eyes following each word and smiled a beam that made my heart flip in happiness. “Thank you, baby,” he said softly, leaning into me and kissing me softly. “Wow, it’s been twenty years since I shared my birthday with you and the present is beyond perfect, thank you.”
I kissed him and leant into his ear. “One more, babe.” I smiled at his frown and reached under the bed to retrieve the envelope.
I held it in my fingers for a while as he looked at it curiously, then when his eyes found mine I took a breath and passed it him.
Slipping it open, he took out the letter and unfolded it.
I watched his eyes flit over each word. I knew he understood as he slowly raised his gaze to me and his lips parted. “Does this mean what I think it means?” he asked hesitantly, his face a pure Kodak moment.
I nodded as a slow grin grew on my lips. “It’s an appointment to have my clips removed, Nate.” I said slowly so he could interpret every single word. “I want to have another baby with you, but I want you with me every step of the way.”
His lip quivered and he took a deep breath. “Oh my god Liv.” He took my hand and pulled me over to him, his thumb skimming over my knuckles as his eyes bore into mine. “You really mean it?”
I grinned and nodded. “More than anything.”
He enveloped me in his arms and breathed heavily in my ear, words lost to him. I knew how much this moment meant to him.
“I love you, Nate” I whispered to him as he hugged me even harder.
“I love you, Angel. You’re the other half of me, the Angel of my soul.”
We spent the next hour cuddled up in bed eating breakfast before we got ready for work. Nate was travelling with me and Neo this morning to work and as we exited the house he took my hand. “I have meetings all afternoon so I’ll see you at home about 6, is that okay?”
I nodded and smiled. “That’s fine. I have to nip home on the way back from work to pick something up but I’ll see you back here.”
He gripped me tight. “Make sure Neo’s with you okay?”
I sighed. “Nate I’m only nipping in for something, it will be fine.” Narrowing his eyes on me I nodded. “Okay, I will make sure Neo is with me, I promise.”
He visibly relaxed and pulled me to the car. “Mr Carter, Miss Adams” Neo nodded in greeting.
“Neo please, its Olivia,” I corrected and he dipped his head.
“Olivia,” he smiled and winked.
Nate tightened his grip on my hand and coughed slightly. I rolled my eyes and winked back. “Good morning Neo, straight to work this morning please,” I told him with a cheeky grin.
He smirked back and then turned to Nate “Happy birthday, Mr Carter.”
Nate shifted his eyes between me and Neo and then submitted with a smile. “Thank you, Neo. Could I ask you to take extra care when you take Liv back home later? You know all the details.” Neo nodded formally and shut the door behind us.
“Nate stop being such a prune and lighten up, it’s your birthday,” I scolded.
He looked at me with wide eyes. “A prune? A prune?” he gasped and stared at me but his lips twitched and then he started laughing. “A bloody prune?”
> His laugh was contagious and soon we were both laughing hard in the back of the Jag.
We were still chuckling as we exited the car and walked up the steps to NSC. “Good morning, Sugar.” Bert smiled at me.
“It’s a beautiful morning, Beef.” I grinned back as he opened the doors for me and Nate.
We approached the main desk together for Nate to retrieve any messages and mail as Samantha flirted openly with him while I was stood beside him.
I took a deep breath and Nate squeezed me again when I huffed when she purred, “Oh Mr Carter, happy birthday. I reallyyyy hope it’s a special one,” then handed him a card and a gift.
“Wow thank you, Samantha, that’s very nice of you. Look Liv, another gift,” he said, his lips twitching in secret amusement.
“Oh lovely, Darling,” I hissed back through clenched teeth.
Samantha placed her hand on his arm. “What else did you get for your birthday?” She smiled, licking her lips.
Nate chuckled slyly and looked at me. “Well, Samantha. I don’t think I’d better divulge what Liv gave me this morning, but I can say it brightened my day immensely.” He winked at her stunned face and walked off, pulling my blushing face behind him and into the elevator.
It was empty as we stepped in and as the doors closed Nate pushed me against the wall and leant into my ear. “I really want to bang you up against this wall Liv, but I’m afraid you need to walk for the rest of the day.”
I sucked in a breath. “Nate, that’s really not fair. I’m gonna be picturing that all day now.”
He nibbled my earlobe gently, his teeth tickling along the soft skin as his tongue followed in their tracks. “And I hope you will be nice and wet for me when I get home.”
I groaned as his thumb brushed over my nipple through my thin silk shirt. “Will you stop!” I chuckled. “Now you’re just being mean and I might have to come and release this damn throb in your office again.”
He growled in my ear and caressed my arse. “And I will make sure you don’t escape without a good fuck this time.”
The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone Page 24
