“Okay,” he answered vaguely.
I turned to look at him; my own eyes now narrow. “Just okay?”
He shrugged, reaching into his jacket pocket and retrieved a small piece of paper then handed it to me. It was a scan picture.
I stared at the tiny little image of Mason’s baby; I wanted to rip it into a thousand pieces and throw it at him. Was he showing me this to hurt me, revenge for the other photos he had in his possession? Was he doing it to torture me, laughing at me, tormenting me?
Revenge is sweet, Ava!!
I couldn’t look at him. “Wow, I’m happy for you.” I gulped and placed it on the island. “Bathroom” I choked out, keeping my face hidden behind my hair.
“Shit Ava, I’m sorry,” he rasped and reached out to me.
“No.” I shook my head fiercely, still keeping my tear filled eyes away from him as I raced upstairs and huddled myself into the bathroom, locking the door behind me and huddling in the corner.
This was payback; in fact this was fucking vicious payback. I wanted that scan to be of my baby, I wanted my baby inside me and at that moment I hated Rebecca with everything I had and felt.
I quietly sobbed in the solitude of the bathroom, trapping myself in as my heart tore itself to shreds. My life was spiralling out of control and I was desperately trying to claw it back. I needed to take stock and sort myself out. I needed to end my relationship with Kade and give Mason every single piece of me, but could I?
Did I deserve this cruel punishment? Perhaps I did. The thought that I deserved every piece of shit thrown at me made me realise that maybe I didn’t deserve Mason either.
What sort of person was I? If he had fucked Rebecca the way I had with Kade it would have broken my heart and I would never forgive him, yet here I was doing the exact thing I wouldn’t accept from him.
The bathroom doorknob rattled. “Baby, let me in,” Mason implored softly.
“I’m okay, I’ll be down in a while,” I responded, trying desperately to control the quiver in my voice.
“Ava . . . I’m so sorry, I didn’t think.”
“I’m fine Mason, I won’t be long,” I repeated.
There was a few minutes silence until I heard him retreat down the stairs.
“I need to get thoroughly pissed,” I chuntered to myself then groaned when I remembered Kerrie’s meal and groaned.
Fuck my Life!
CHAPTER 48
AT 8 O’CLOCK Mason held my hand and led me into La Roche. The urge to get drunk intensified when I saw Kade sat at the table with Brian, Brenda, Sam, Mason, Liv, Nate, Greg and Marcy and Courtney.
“Oh God” I groaned under my breath.
Mason narrowed his eyes on me. “What’s wrong?” he asked quite sternly.
I shook my head and smiled, “Nothing.”
He regarded me and then leaned into me, “Don’t you want our friends to know about our news, Ava?” From his tone I couldn’t work out if he was hurt, angry or mocking and I nodded happily at him. “Of course.” He gazed at me but then turned and walked over to the table.
I so needed a drink!!
Everybody stood and greeted us. I refused to look at Kade, knowing Mason would now be watching us very closely.
I was sat next to Courtney and she frowned at me. She could always read me explicitly and she was immediately aware that something was very wrong with me.
I saw her scrambling about under the table with her phone and a second later I felt my own vibrate in my bag. Retrieving it I saw a text from Courtney.
COURTNEY
Babe?
Xxx
ME
Mason knows! He doesn’t know I know he knows.
Xxx
I heard her gasp and her hand slid under the table and grasped mine, squeezing tightly.
“AVA!” Mason barked and I jumped.
“Sorry, what?”
He glowered at me. “Drink?” he asked harshly with a raise of his eyebrows.
“Oh, vodka and cranberry, please.”
He nodded once. “Make it a large,” I shouted after him. He narrowed his eyes on me.
This was gonna be a long night!
I managed to make it through the first few hours but it was obvious Mason was angry with me, constantly snapping and barking at me. All the other guests were looking at him warily. At one point Kerrie whispered firmly in his ear after he bit my head off when I had requested another drink, but he was managing to down more alcohol than me and at a shocking rate. I was becoming slightly nervous as he was slipping nearer and nearer to getting completely plastered.
My phone vibrated and I sneaked a peek under the table.
KADE
Why won’t you look at me?
I was just about to text back when Mason stood up. “Well, I suppose I better tell you all why Kerrie has so generously arranged this dinner this evening.”
He looked at me and cocked his head but his eyes were soft. He turned back to the group, looking at each one and finally rested his eyes on Kade. I noticed them darken. “I am so happy to tell you that Ava has agreed to be my wife” he said loudly with a smirk on his lips.
Give Kade credit, he managed to hold it together but I noticed his lips part and his shoulders stiffen as his eyes flashed angrily but he stood with everyone else and congratulated Mason with a handshake.
Everybody worked their way round to me, kissing my cheek and congratulating me and when Kade reached me he leaned in. “He knows,” he whispered as he kissed my cheek. I nodded once and smiled politely then turned to Greg who was stood waiting to kiss me.
The maître d brought champagne, Mason popped the cork and seemed relaxed and happy.
The night flowed well and so did the alcohol until I was just on the edge of oblivion.
After the announcement Mason got very drunk and was being extra attentive, kissing me and touching me frequently but when he started making lewd remarks about our sex life I pulled him to one side.
“What the hell are you doing?” I hissed and he narrowed his eyes on me.
“What?” he bit back.
“Not everybody wants to hear about our sex life, Mason,” I snapped.
He laughed bitterly. “Everybody? Or just Kade?” he asked with menace and I froze. He smirked and leaned into my ear. I noticed Kade watching us. “Oh! I know all about your little tryst with Kade, Ava,” he slurred; obviously he’d had more to drink than I thought and I noticed his pupils were shot . . . he’d had a hit!
My eyes shot to Kade’s and I mouthed “GO!” to him. He shook his head and I flapped my hand at him. Courtney caught what I was doing, her eyes widened. She shot a look at Kade, snatched up her bag and scurried over to him.
“Time to go!” she said as I read her lips.
Mason was pulling away and I grabbed his arm. “I know you know,” I told him honestly.
He narrowed his eyes on me. He snapped his head to one side and grabbed my wrist. His eyes glinted in rage as he bit his bottom lip severely. “I think I’d better go,” I breathed, highly aware of how much fury he was holding in.
Kerrie approached us and her eyes widened when she saw how tightly Mason was gripping me. “Mason! Let go!” she ordered as her hand closed over his fingers. He slid his gaze round to her, the coldness in his eyes made me shiver. “Mason, you’ve had too much to drink,” she hissed at him, still trying to pry his fingers off my wrist.
“Do you wanna know why I’ve drank too much, Kerrie?” he hissed with an evil smirk curling his lip.
“Mason!” I warned. “Not Kerrie,” I growled, shaking my head slowly at him. Kerrie didn’t need this on her shoulders as well as the cancer. Mason’s eyes drifted to mine and I begged him with my eyes, not for my sake but for Kerrie. He seemed to understand what I was saying and let go of me.
Sam and Nate had come over to us, noticing that something was happening. Sam stepped forward. “Mason, come on. I’ll take you and Ava home,” he said and grabbed Mason’s forearm.
&nb
sp; Mason took a step with Sam but I remained still and Sam turned to me. “Come on, Ava.”
I still didn’t move; I couldn’t. Mason halted and paused before he turned to me. He didn’t say anything but cocked his head. I looked at him sadly, my heart breaking as I tried to swallow the lump that was wedged in my throat.
My eyes filled with tears as I shook my head slowly. “No, Mason.” I could feel everybody’s eyes on me, confusion written all over them.
Mason pulled in a large breath and stalked towards me, gripping me harshly again by the upper arms as he pulled me. “We need to fucking talk,” he hissed and I cringed.
Sam stepped forward again. “Fucks sake Mase, let go of her, you’re hurting her.
He shot a glare at Sam but released my arms. “You’re coming with me, Ava,” he ordered and I shook my head.
“No Mason, not when you’re like this,” I said quietly, aware that everybody was watching us.
I could see his chest heaving in anger. “Yes. You. Are. You are fucking mine! I need to fuck him out of you!” he snarled viciously and venomously. I heard Sam hiss between his teeth.
My fist slammed into his cheekbone, snapping his head backwards forcefully.
Sam and Nate moved forwards and grabbed Mason’s arms as Brian stepped forwards. “Get him fucking out of here!!” he bellowed as he slipped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.
Mason’s eyes landed on mine. The hurt, pain and disgust in them brought my tears and I shook my head at him as he reached out to me, his own tears now falling.
“Ava,” he choked.
“I’m so sorry Mason. I’m so sorry. I can’t. I can’t do this,” I sobbed, and turned.
Brian and Brenda huddled me into their car and took me back to their house. They didn’t ask, they didn’t pity me and they didn’t say anything about the night events and for that I loved them even more.
Brenda quietly led me to their guest room and placed out a pair of her pyjamas, a spare toothbrush and a towel.
She kissed my forehead and quietly closed the door behind her.
I sat in the dark silence for a long time.
Around 2 O’clock my phone alerted me to a text.
KADE
You okay? What’s happening?
ME
I’m okay. I’m at Brian’s. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I’ll be at yours around 12:30.
KADE
Are you sure you’re okay? I’m worried about you sweetheart. I swear to god if he hurts you . . .
ME
I promise I’m fine; it’s you I’m worried about. Don’t let him in! He’s not coping well with the news.
KADE
Can I ring you? I need to hear your voice.
ME
No Kade, I’m tired. We’ll talk tomorrow.
KADE
Okay. Sweet dreams xxx
I took a quick shower and climbed into the too long PJ’s, rolling up the legs. As I climbed in bed my phone rang.
“Hey, babe” Courtney whispered softly when I answered.
“Hey.” I breathed in relief to hear her voice.
“Where are you?” she asked hesitantly.
“Brian’s and Brenda’s. Thank you for getting Kade out of there,” I whispered, not wanting to disturb my hosts.
“No problem, babe. He didn’t wanna go though. He kept trying to get back in to protect you. Which I thought was quite sweet.”
“Mason would have killed him, the mood he was in. I ended up punching him,” I declared and I heard her gasp as I told her what had occurred.
“I hate myself for what I’ve done to him, Courtney,” I admitted.
She was silent for a while. “Ava, there is nothing I can say that will make you feel any better but you have to work out what you want now.”
I nodded to the darkness. “I want Mason, I always have but I don’t think . . . He’s so angry at me . . . I’m so damn angry at me. I’ve broken his heart. We always seem to be hurting each other. We’re killing each other slowly and painfully.”
“Oh, babe” she breathed sadly.
“Can I stop at yours for a while? I don’t wanna go back to the cottage.”
“Of course.”
I smiled gratefully. “Okay; I’ll be round after work tomorrow. Love you.” I ended the call and curled up in bed, visions of Mason’s broken face filled my head as I drifted into a restless and fretful sleep.
CHAPTER 49
I MANAGED TO squeeze my breasts into one of Brenda’s silk grey shirts and my arse into one of her skirts. I was surprised how good I looked with a hangover from hell, an arm covered in bruises and a neck full of bites.
I had stood in front of the mirror naked this morning and regarded all the love bites Mason had given me in France, now I understood why he had wanted to mark me as his possession because of Kade.
I still couldn’t understand why he had waited until the dinner last night to confront me but I had a feeling it was the fact that Kade had been there and the amount of alcohol and coke he had consumed.
* * *
I managed to drag myself through the morning and at 12:30 I was climbing out of a taxi outside Kade’s apartment with my stomach in knots, my head pounding and my heart clenched in a tight hold at what I had to do.
The apartment concierge told me Kade was expecting me and to take the elevator to the 11th floor.
On exiting the lift Kade was already waiting for me with a huge grin on his face. I smiled timidly as he held the door open for me. I entered slowly, taking in my surroundings as I walked into his large lounge.
“Drink?” he asked. I smiled and nodded a reply.
He disappeared into the kitchen then came back with two glasses and a bottle of wine and gestured to the sofa. “You okay?” he asked softly and I nodded again.
His eyes lowered to the patch of neck skin peeking out from behind my open shirt, and his eyes darkened but he didn’t say anything.
“You heard from him?” he asked quietly.
“No, have you?” He shook his head and I frowned. “I can’t understand. He’s known for a while and he didn’t say anything until last night in the restaurant,” I told him as I took a sip of the wine and it sang in my mouth, its crisp fruitiness stroking my taste buds.
“How did he find out?” he asked.
“My wonderful neighbourhood stalker sent him photos of us in your pool house. Kade closed his eyes and groaned. “It must have killed him, Kade.”
His eyes shot to mine at the sadness in my voice. He searched my eyes and then sighed and looked down. “You’re not here to make love to me are you?”
“No,” I whispered. He didn’t look at me but I heard the intake of breath and the harsh swallow.
We were both silent for a while before he eventually looked at me and smiled sadly. “I only hope he can make you happy, Ava. I’m going to let you go because I want you to be happy and I know you love him entirely.” His voice broke a little and I could see the struggle on his face as he set me free.
A tear broke free at the pain I felt for him. “I am so sorry, Kade; I care so much for you but . . .” I didn’t finish as he placed a finger against my lips.
“Shush, I know. Don’t let him hurt you Ava, don’t ever let him hurt you,” he beseeched and paused before taking a long breath. “I’ve been offered a job in Italy, Ava,” he declared on a whisper and held my eyes, wanting me to understand why he was leaving.
My heart clenched at the thought of never seeing him again but I had to let him go, I needed to let him go for his sake. I nodded slowly and his sad eyes filled with wetness.
Framing his face in my hands I leant over and kissed him tenderly and gently one last time. His hands slid into my hair and he held me against him, my forehead against his for several minutes until I pulled away, stood and left, and as I softly shut the door behind me my heart broke when I heard his sob break free.
I wept all the way down in the elevator and all the way back to the NSC building. A part
of my heart would always belong to Kade and I knew I would never forget him or the way he had made me come alive and feel.
* * *
Just as I was leaving work my phone rang. I fished it out of my bag and saw Sam’s name on the display. “Hi,” I greeted timidly, waiting for twenty questions.
“Ava,” he breathed and I stuttered to a halt, the hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention.
“Sam?”
“We’ve got him, Ava.”
I grabbed onto the doorframe to hold myself up. “Really?”
I could sense his grin. “Oh, Yeah. I have some software that traces all his bank activity and I narrowed him down this morning when he tried to draw out some cash.” He chuckled.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to rein in each of my many emotions.
“Ava,” he said hesitantly. “Mason wants you to deal with him.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“I’m coming to fetch you, stay at work until I get there.”
Holy shit!
I sat on the steps of the building and waited. Could I do this? It had been easy with Dean because the need for revenge had eaten away at me for five long years, every time I had pictured Katie’s face it had fed my rage but Lee was different. Yes, I hated him for what he did to me but did I hate him enough to help me finish him?
Sam arrived fifteen minutes later and drove me out somewhere deserted and derelict. I exited the car and looked around at what looked like an old factory of some sorts. I followed him through a series of floors and doorways, his hand in mine to support me as we climbed across some dodgy flooring and over some rubble.
We eventually entered a room where Greg, Mark, Simon and a couple of other guys waited for me. Greg smiled and walked over to me. “You ready, Ava?” he asked calmly and I nodded.
I was sad that Mason wasn’t there. I wasn’t sure if I could do this without him but I didn’t blame him, the hurt and pain I had caused him had severed his feelings for me, destroyed his love and I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to see me.
Even though I expected it I couldn’t say it didn’t hurt, my heart ached for him; to see his beautiful grey eyes, his gaze upon me and the way he smiled at me, the smile he had just for me.
The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone Page 63
