* * *
I didn’t know what to do to help her, apart from sit beside her on the torn and frayed sofa, in the torn and frayed waiting room, her torn and frayed heart weeping whilst I held her hand as tight as she’d let me.
Ryan had been admitted with multiple stab wounds, one of those had skimmed his heart and they were operating on him as we sat in silence and waited, just waited. Just bloody waited, hour after torturous hour.
Red suddenly stood and approached the large bay window and sat on its sill. The chipped flaky paint had me regarding it with trepidation so I let her remain there alone.
In her head she was alone anyway, well; I say alone, I knew she was in that operating room with her husband.
“It was Diablo” She stated quietly and I swallowed heavily but remained silent at her words.
Yes, they were my thoughts as well but up until now I hadn’t been brave enough to say them to her.
The pain on her face was raw and cruel and right at this very moment I would give my life to stop the torment she was going through. I was hurting right along there with her, her suffering was now my suffering and my heart was tearing in two at her sorrow.
We had been sat in this damn filthy room for three hours now and my mind was frizzing at the lack of air and the same four walls.
“I’m gonna go find us a coffee” I told her. She nodded but didn’t look at me and I sighed as I quietly closed the door behind me and went in search of sustenance.
I found a machine down the corridor and purchased us both a thick brown substance that I wasn’t even sure was coffee, but it was wet and hot and it would feed us for a while.
As I walked back up the corridor the primitive gut-wrenching scream that cut through the air and sucked the oxygen out of it, saw the cups slip from my hands and my heart paused and stuttered when the scream turned to a long drawn out cry.
Oh Christ, no. No. NO!
My legs felt like foam as I took wide strides to the waiting room, the wobble in them saw me palming the wall for support and my hand faltered on the handle before I pushed open the door.
She was on the floor, rocking wildly as the doctor crouched before her. She was mumbling something incoherent, like an alien from another planet, and the doctor turned to me as I stepped inside.
I looked at him expectantly and he shook his head sadly.
My heart dropped on the floor beside Red, just dumped itself at the side of her, praying that she would take it and use it to help her, but she didn’t even lift her gaze to me as she carried on with her incomprehensible chant.
The doc stood, sighed heavily and looked at Red. “Mrs Winters, I’m so very sorry. If there is anything I can do to help?”
She looked up at him, her eyes empty and cold “I want to see him.”
He nodded and cocked his head slightly. “If you’ll give us a few moments. I’ll send a nurse for you when we’re ready.”
She looked back down at the floor without acknowledging his words and he turned to me. “Are you a friend?”
I glanced at Red then nodded, “Yeah.”
He placed his hand on my arm and leaned in. “She seems to be in shock at the moment. There is a buzzer in the corner of the room if you need it,” he nodded his chin towards the door and I followed its direction and nodded to him “a nurse will be back for Mrs Winters.”
I nodded my acknowledgement and then sat myself beside Red on the floor whilst the doc made his exit.
Her small hand slid across the floor towards me. I met her halfway and took it, grabbed onto it tight as it trembled in my hold and I desperately tried to stream my love and support through my fingers and into her. She didn’t cry, she didn’t speak; she didn’t do anything other than hold my hand and stare at the floor.
We were silent for a while until the nurse came to fetch Red. I stood and offered her my hand, she took it and I closed my fingers around her tiny ones. “Will you come with me?” she whispered as her huge eyes begged me to help her.
“Of course I will.” I replied as I planted a gentle kiss on her forehead.
I wanted to kiss the life out of her right then but I didn’t think Red or the nurse would appreciate that, so I just offered what I could.
My heart and soul were two of those.
Chapter 25
Layla
THE NURSE SMILED warmly at me as we approached the theatre. “Please be aware that Ryan suffered some trauma to his face, but you need to look past that, Mrs Winters.”
I swallowed back the tears and nodded. They would not come today, they would find their way eventually, but not now, not today. Now was for Ryan.
My mouth was refusing to form any words so I didn’t bother.
She opened the door and a different doctor from the one that told me Ry had died was stood waiting for me.
His eyes were soft and sad and the sympathy held in them brought back the fact that Ryan was dead.
Gone.
Because of me.
My first step into the room faltered and Lucas slipped his arm around my waist to support me as I took the journey across the cold clinical room.
The longest journey I had ever made, the most tragic journey I had ever made. A journey I so desperately didn’t want to make.
Ryan looked asleep. His soft lips were closed and I expected them to lift at the corners when he saw me approach, just as they always did. His smile had been the first thing that had attracted me to him, it was always so bright and happy, a mile wide toothy grin.
He was getting closer now, his still body waiting for me to reach him. Lucas’s hand tightened as if he knew I was struggling and I squeezed back to let him know I was coping . . . at the moment.
I could see the contours of Ryan’s hard body through the thin sheet and I thought how cold he must be, the sheet being nearly threadbare. He had always been a cold man, always wearing a jumper and I silently wondered if Lucas had a spare sweater in his car that would fit Ry.
I was above him now and I hesitantly lifted my hand and brushed the lock of his beautiful soft hair away from his eyes, knowing he hated it in his eyes, he would grumble like mad when it became too long.
He was so beautiful, so peaceful and my hands shook as I slid my thumb over his still slightly pink lips and waited for him to playfully bite it like he used to with the mischievous growl that he would always tease me with.
“I’m so sorry, Ry” I whispered. He didn’t reply with the usual ‘it’s okay baby’ this time, just remained silent and still and I wanted to shake him to get that damn statement out of him.
I leant in and rested my lips on his forehead. “I’ll always love you Ry, always. You were my first love and you’ll be my last. Always, baby.”
I turned to the doctor and nodded. He raised the sheet over Ryan’s face and I whispered a goodnight to him before Lucas led me from the room and straight out to his car and straight to his house.
* * *
“I need to phone his parents” I said to Lucas as he passed me a glass of whisky. He frowned as he sat beside me on the sofa.
“Do you think the morning would be better? It’s something not easy to . . . to . . .”
I shook my head and determinedly reached in my bag for my phone.
Scrolling through the numbers, I found Ry’s parents and my finger hovered over the green icon. “You want me to do it?” Lucas asked softly.
I glared at him “They don’t even know you. What a stupid thing to ask.”
I saw his throat bob but he smiled softly and nodded.
It took me ten minutes to place my finger over the little phone symbol and my heart lurched as the ring tone came through.
“Hello?” Gina’s voice filtered through and my throat suddenly closed in and all that would come out was a stupid gurgle.
I cleared my throat and closed my eyes. “Gina?”
The line was silent for a moment before I felt the ice through the line and I bit my lower lip in preparation for her hostility. “Gina?”
I repeated stupidly.
“Yes.” Was all I got in return and I gulped before I took a deep breath.
“Gina.” It was all I seemed to be able to vocalise and I knew she sensed my distress when she gasped faintly.
“Kayla? Tell me.”
“Ry, he . . . he . . . Oh God. . . .”
What a stupid time for my tears to come. On the phone to the woman who hated me most in the world, who would now hold a deep revulsion for me when I voiced the words no mother ever wanted to hear.
“KAYLA!” she screamed. She knew, I could hear the deep whine through the phone, the soul destroying, haunting cry only a mother would ever part with.
“I . . . I . . . Oh, Gina, I . . . I’m so sorry . . .”
I dropped the phone at her next scream and curled up into a ball, distraughtly trying to get away from the sound coming through the speaker, its penetrating wail piercing my soul.
Lucas was on me in an instant, lifting me and pulling me onto his lap before he started to rock me.
His own whimpers at my desolation tore through to my heart but he took it all, every slice of my pain and distress. He absorbed every cry and howl that tore up my throat and he held me tight through each of the violent tremors that racked my body with my grief and heartache.
He held me for two hours solid, never wavering in his rhythm or never telling me to shush. He just held me, rocked me and cried with me.
* * *
“Hey” Lucas whispered as he walked slowly towards me whilst I perched on his floor in front of the ceiling high windows and watched the London nightlife go by.
We had gone to bed hours ago but my mind wouldn’t settle and I had left Lucas sleeping and gone in search of hot chocolate.
“Hey” I smiled back softly.
“You want another?” he gestured towards my mug and I shook my head.
He left me for a moment to make his espresso before he came and sat beside me, both of us watching the lights of the city twinkle against the rain on the window.
“How you doing?” he asked softly as he took hold of my hand and ran his fingers over the edge of mine, tracing the contours with such a delicate touch I was surprised it didn’t tickle more, but it was actually quite soothing and I rested my head back against the window and immersed myself in its comfort.
“I’m okay” I whispered.
Lucas’s fingers continued on their mission of relaxation and I sighed deeply as they now wisped on the inside of my wrist.
“He told me to take out a contract on Diablo.” I revealed and I heard Lucas’s breath pause. “Last Sunday. He told me to end him to make the path clear for me and you.” I gave out a bitter laugh “He even told me he’d sign the divorce papers so I could . . . so we could have a free relationship.”
Lucas was watching me intently, listening and offering his silent support when I lifted my eyes to his. “I guess I don’t need that now, eh?”
He sighed and frowned at me, probably thought I was losing it, but it was suddenly very clear and I turned and sat on my knees to face Lucas.
My eyes skimmed over his beautiful face and I palmed both cheeks in my hands and slid my thumbs over his chiselled cheekbones. “Make love to me, Lucas. Right here, by the window, in front of the world. Let humanity see how much you love me and how much I love you.”
His own hands came up and cupped my own face as he leaned in and whispered his mouth over mine, “I need you to see how much I love you right now, Red, not humanity. You.”
He took me under him, his kiss soft and gentle but still very much passionate and I let him lead. Let him take me to the realms of oblivion, where everything else but us was forgotten and ignored.
He worshipped every inch of me with his mouth, nibbled, sucked and licked every part of my hot skin and I explored every inch of him with my fingers. Traced each of his fine contours and lines until he slid inside me and took me in front of the world, in front of whoever was watching and in front of God and now Ry.
“Look at me, Red. Open your eyes and look at me. Watch my face as I come inside you, watch me whilst I take all of you under and around me” he whispered as he moved so deliciously inside me and I did, I opened my eyes and watched him and showed him how much I loved him as he silently told me.
His orgasm erupted just as mine hit me sideways, its intensity had me screaming Lucas’s name loud and feral as I exploded around him and under him.
He shouted out my name as his palm hit the glass of the window and his forehead rested on mine as I clutched him tight, relishing every second I had with him. With the man that had stolen my heart away from Ryan.
The man who I would never risk. The man who owned my soul so utterly it would forever be with him now instead of me. He owned every single piece of me and I told him right then, as we lay in front of the world.
“I love you Lucas, always. You’ll always have me because you own my soul.”
Chapter 26
Lucas
I ROLLED OVER as the sun filtered through the blinds and reached out for Red. The bed was cold and empty and my eyes shot open.
“Red?”
Nothing but silence greeted me and I knew. I knew right then what she had done. I knew where she had gone and I flung my body out of bed and rapidly pulled on some clothes as I went to search the apartment for her.
I knew it was a waste of my time but a small part of me was arguing with the other larger part and telling it not to be so stupid, Red wouldn’t go back, not now, not after Ryan. But I knew she would, I knew she already had, just to keep me safe.
I sank down the window where we had made love last night and the cry that left my throat was raw and primal, its intensity shocked me and I gasped for air as I clutched at the carpet that still held her imprint.
Red had left me; gone back to the bastard that terrified her and abused her, just to keep me from harm.
The knowledge tore through me, ripped straight through the centre of my heart and I bled from every pore as I cried out her name.
I would get her back; it was the first and last thing I promised her. I would get her back and I would take that bastard under my hands and squeeze every inch of life from him. Crush him with my bare hands and make him pay for what he had done to Red and to Ryan. I would destroy him.
Even if I destroyed myself in the process.
* * *
Mason eyed me strangely when he opened his door and we stood silently regarding each other, as he read me and I begged him silently for help.
“We have a problem” I told him.
He narrowed his eyes, sighed and gestured for me to enter.
Ava came from the kitchen carrying a plate of some sort of cake and it slid straight off and onto the floor when she caught sight of my face.
“Lucas?”
I stared at them both and sighed. “She’s gone back.”
Mason’s eyes widened as Ava gasped and I proceeded to fill them in on the last 48 hours.
Within two hours Mason’s house was full of people; his men, his friends, a few security guys,’ Sara and Nate and his wife Liv.
Give this man credit, he worked fast and within the next hour he had the address and whereabouts of Red.
“Good job I had the sense to place a tracker in her phone last time she disappeared on us” Mason grinned slyly when one of the security blokes, Elijah, brought up a map image of where Red was.
We all loomed in to look at the image and my heart stuttered when it revealed Red in a plush lounge of some sorts. For the moment she looked okay though and that settled my stomach a little but it still pulled on my heart to see her there.
“This technology is amazing” I said to Elijah who smirked at me as the screen now showed Red stand and prowl the room.
“Highly illegal but oh well. It taps into one of NASA’s satellites and its software, I wrote myself.”
My brows lifted and I grinned “We all have bugs to bear.”
Mason suddenly spat orders at everyone when the
software kicked out a street name in London and I knew it wouldn’t be long before she was taken back to Sheffield and we had to move fast.
“Me?” I asked him and he shook his head at me. “What?” I asked warily and Mason shook his head again.
“For one, you’re not used to this kind of thing and two, you’re too involved.”
I just glared at him. “What the hell, Mason? You’re too involved, she’s your friend” I argued but he smirked at me.
“You ever killed anyone, Hunt?”
My brow rose but I continued to stare at him “Well, no but . . .”
“Well even Ava has and your inexperience could cost Lay her life. No way, and no way again.”
“Bollocks, Mason. I’m going in with you. By the looks of those images there’s roughly eight guys’ in there. You need all the help you can get.”
Mason smirked again. “But we have a secret weapon.”
I frowned and his smirk turned into a sly grin, “Ava.”
I turned my gaze to Ava who grinned and smiled at me. “Afternoon, guvnor.’ Ya’ aint got a bog I could borra hav ya’?” she said with a wink as she wiggled her large breasts at me.
I couldn’t help but smile at her but I still turned to Mason “But I need to do this Mason, please don’t . . .”
He shook his head again but placed his hand on my shoulder. “I know how you feel about her Lucas, but I need you to trust me. Layla won’t want you there for one and I know her, she gave herself to him, she won’t be happy we’re going in to bring her back. I’m gonna have to do the whole club and caveman routine to get her out of there.”
“Fine” I relented, “But you need to promise me Mason . . .”
Ava placed her hand on my arm. “I’ll get her out Lucas, I promise.”
I looked at them both before I inhaled deeply then nodded “Okay, but when she’s out I’m tying her to my fucking side.”
Mason smiled sadly “She loved Ryan, Lucas. She’s just doing what she thinks is gonna help you. To her, she can’t bear to lose any more people. And I know she’ll blame herself for what’s happened.”
I nodded my agreement but it still hurt like fuck that she had left me and not trusted me to protect her.
The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone Page 138
