As he headed to his end of the field, Rob said to me, “Don’t even think you’re going to win.”
“Oh, yeah?” I said.
“Two-hand touch, everybody,” Rob said.
The first play Don intercepted the ball, lobbed it to me, and I ran it in to score. Kim squeezed me. “You rock, girl.”
“Oh, brother.” Sonia rolled her eyes at Michaela.
Lisa slapped me five.
“Lucky,” Rob said. “Pure luck.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“We’ll see about that.” The cold air felt good on my cheeks. I held my hands out and caught the tiny flakes in my palms.
“Is that Dave Swanson over there?” Kim asked.
He was standing on the edge of the park, watching us.
“Hey, Swanson, come on over and play,” Rob said. “You’re on our team.”
“What’s he doing here?” Sonia said. “I thought he’d be home playing video games.”
“All right, let’s play ball!” Don said.
The next time I got the ball, Dave Swanson ran up and grabbed me around the waist, knocking me over. I might not have gone down if I hadn’t been so surprised. He lay on top of my legs.
“Can you let me go now?” I asked.
“Okay,” he said.
Brandon, who was too big to do much more than block, pulled Dave up. “Don’t do that,” he said. “You’re gonna hurt her. It’s two-hand touch, not tackle, Swanson.”
Lisa gave me a hand. “I think he likes you,” she whispered.
“He’s got a funny way of showing it,” I said.
She smiled.
The next play Dave grabbed the ball going to Michaela, almost knocking her over, and ran with it.
“Wow, thanks a lot,” she said.
Rob yelled after him, “Hey, Dave, she’s on your team, but now that you have it, go for it!”
As Dave ran, I saw there was something about the way his arms and legs were going out to the side, fast and out of control, that reminded me of Jack, and I felt sorry for him for a minute. He seemed so lonely running down the field by himself.
The next play Don lunged for the ball and slipped in the mud. We laughed since we were all covered in mud too. Even Michaela had given up cleaning off her jeans. Every play she positioned herself next to Rob, waiting for him. Rob dodged around me, growling as he passed. I caught up and tagged him. “Hey, you weren’t supposed to do that,” he said.
“Just lucky, right?”
Sonia caught a pass, but she forgot to run, as if she were too surprised to find the ball in her hands. Then Brandon got an interception and scored. He did a little dance, waving his hands high and shaking his hips around and around. I was laughing so hard, I had to bend over to catch my breath.
“Oh, yeah!” Don said. “How about next touchdown wins?”
Jesse threw the ball to Rob, but he tripped on Michaela. The ball spun to the right, then landed smack in Dave’s hands, and he took off down the field. I might have been able to catch him, but I let him go, and when he got into the end zone, Rob and Jesse piled on top of him to congratulate him, and everyone else piled on top of them.
“You’re going out for the team next year, Swanson,” Jesse said. “Do you hear me?”
“Swanson, Swanson!” they chanted.
“This is the best day of my life!” he yelled.
Then Kim did a snappy hip-hop number that ended in a slide across the snowy grass.
Lisa clapped. “Did you guys see that? How’d you learn to do that?”
“Videos and stuff.”
“Will you show me?”
The sky started turning black, and we could barely see the lights in the center through the powdery white snow. The night seemed to seal in the day, closing it up, and I felt this sadness and longing that made me almost cry. I wished we could have stayed just like the way we were on the field. I felt like the game had put us all on the same ground. I took a step closer to Rob and felt Dave’s eyes on us. He had a huge smile that reminded me of Jack again. I turned away. I didn’t have any more room to take care of anyone.
I thought of Jack at home. Sometimes he waited for Sef by the front window, and I wondered if he was waiting for me now. I hadn’t told Mom I was going anywhere after Kim’s. I said I had to go and I’d see everyone tomorrow. I let Kim and Don know that I was going to run home.
“I have to go too,” Rob said. “I’ll run part of the way with you.”
I was glad for the dark. The only one I’d ever run with was Sef. It was strange running with anyone else. When we were halfway down the field, I asked, “Are you protecting me from Dave or something?”
“Seems like you’re pretty good at taking care of yourself.” He glanced at me. “And you’re not bad at football.”
“Next time we’ll make a bet.”
“You were lucky.”
“Whatever you have to tell yourself.”
I watched a smile spread across his face in the dark. He stopped running. “I go this way. See you tomorrow.”
Tiny flakes of snow were falling in my hair and face. I looked up at the white sky, and suddenly I wasn’t sad anymore.
CHAPTER 26
WAR TACTICS
Blue Sky’s Blog
December 10, 2006
Today we have exams. Many students do not arrive school on time because of the blockades. They were crying and afraid and had to start exams late. I am lucky I arrive on time.
I try to be strong but many times I shake at night. Remember my friend is Shiite. We stop visits for now. We are all Iraqis but now everyone has fear. There is Al Sadr with thousands behind him. He is a Shiite, son of a martyr who tries to reverse history. Sistani is no better. There are Iranian militias not in best interest for Iraq. My father say Iran is behind all. They play Iraq like an instrument. Our government is not strong. We need Iraqis who live here and understand our country. Not Iraqi exiled for years. It is complicated. Our boundaries are not protected. Terrorists run in.
Many Iraqi have no money. Their houses and shops are ruined and the price of kerosene, medicine, gas, drinking water, food is very high. No jobs are available. They make money looting, kidnapping, killing.
There is not news on my uncle. Nothing. We are upset and Mom cry and cry. And our beautiful city is gone. It is rubbles. It is also like losing someone close.
Sometime I wake and think everything is same as before the war but I only look out my window and see I am wrong. We can do nothing to stop it but watch as things grow worse.
My parents try to keep it from me but I hear the stories. American used chemical weapon in Fallujah. The story is people are burned to the bone. I saw pictures on the computer. I do not think about this much or I am very sick. I thank Allah to keep us alive.
Why is it some people has almost everything and they are not happy? Do I no before the war I am happy?
Blue Sky
To: Cassie
From: Sef
Subject: Re: Re: I’m here
Hi Cass,
I haven’t had time to write. My patrol shifts are 12 hrs long, sometimes all night, guarding a police station. I’m soaking my feet now. It feels so good, I don’t want to put on these boots again.
The days are so long. I swear a couple of the guys have gained weight here. Like Cali, now known as the fat surfer dude. There’s a lot of sitting around. Sometimes we play this poker game, Texas Hold ’Em. I’m going broke.
Mark that skinny dude from Illinois gets a letter from his mother almost every day. We tease the hell out of him. His mom wanted him to go to college too. I feel bad for his mom, but I feel worse for the guys who are married and have kids. Tim has a tattoo of his three kids on his back. They’re all under 5 an
d cute as hell.
It’s crazy here. Almost everywhere you look, buildings and cars are blown up. When I first got off the plane, I smelled smoke. Now I’m so used to it I don’t even notice.
One good thing is we passed out soccer balls, notebooks, and pens to some kids on the street. I even played a little soccer, which was great. Definitely the best thing that’s happened here so far. The kids played in bare feet, and we played in our uniforms. The field was mostly dirt, and we used our boots for goalposts. I was so hot I was dying. Try running in one of these uniforms sometime!
I’m glad Jack’s staying in my room—as long as he doesn’t pee in my bed too much. That’s cool about the Iraqi girl. What’s she say?
Have to go, time’s up. I’ll write again when I can. Hope everyone’s hanging in there. Miss you.
Love,
Sef
To: Sef
From: Cassie
Subject: Re: Re: Re: I’m here
Hey Sef,
Do you really stand for twelve hours straight? Sounds like torture. I love the picture of you driving the tank. You look tiny! Jack wouldn’t stop looking at it. Seriously, I couldn’t get back on the computer for about two hours! Luckily Mom printed a bunch of copies. Jack carries his around. He’s still wearing camouflage every day, and Van’s still being Van.
Kim showed me that video clip of the Saddam Hussein statue falling, the one we watched when the war started. Most of the troops there were Americans. It looks like they planned it all out. When I asked Dad, he said it was war tactics. They were psyching us up. But they’re not supposed to trick us, are they? From now on, I’m going to try to find out the truth about things.
The Iraqi girl, Blue Sky, says we used chemical weapons in Fallujah—is that TRUE?
You know what? The other night when I was running, I thought you were close by. It was pretty cool. I miss you.
Love,
C
CHAPTER 27
THE TABLE
KIM AND I set up our donation table by the entrance to the cafeteria with the poster we made and the few boxes of energy bars Mom had given me. Kim had made a list of things the troops might need, including batteries, flashlights, trail mix, sunglasses, sunblock, Gatorade, razors, snacks, paper, pens, and wipes. A few of the teachers stopped by and said they’d bring something tomorrow. Michaela and her friend Meg stopped in front of the table. Michaela looked at Kim and then me and said, “Did your mom make you do this?”
“Do what?”
“Your donation table.”
“No.” My cheeks were hot.
“I was just wondering because it’s so crazy.” Michaela smirked.
What had Sonia been telling her?
“What’s your problem, Michaela?” Kim asked. “Jealous, by any chance?”
“Of what?” she asked. “Anyway, I don’t have a problem. I think Cassie has the problem.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” Kim asked.
“You’re the one with, like, the biggest mouth in the school. Why don’t you ask her?”
“Like, that’s a very good question,” Kim said.
Meg elbowed Michaela as Rob jogged up holding out a Replacements CD. “Good?” he asked.
“Great. He likes them.” I held on to the CD. “Thank you.”
His eyes held mine for that second.
Michaela squinted at Kim’s lunch. “What’s that?”
“Raw fish. Want to try some?” Kim held up an oily pink slab of fish.
“Yuck. That’s disgusting.”
Rob grabbed the fish and dangled it in front of Michaela. “It’s good for you. It gives you protein—and courage. Try a little.”
She shrieked and backed up, but she was smiling.
He swung it closer to her. “Watch out, or it might bite you!”
“Rob, stop it!” She swatted him, half laughing.
“Mmmm,” Rob said, and opened his mouth and dropped it in. “Delicious!”
“I can’t believe you did that. That is, like, so gross,” Michaela said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “You’d eat anything.” She pushed him on the chest, and he pretended to fall back.
When they left, Kim said, “You should do something about that.”
“This?” I held the CD out.
“No.”
“Oh,” I said. About Rob.
“What’s the matter with Michaela, anyway?” Kim asked. “Why’d she say that about your mother?”
I could feel my chest thumping. I swallowed and started talking. I told her about our family and Sonia’s family being friends and about my mother and Sonia’s father flirting in our kitchen. About how Sonia stopped talking to me after that. About how Jack freaked Sonia out sometimes. I told her about all of it, and Big Mouth Kim listened. When I was done, she nodded and said, “Wow, that’s a lot of stuff you’re carrying around. A lot of weight on your shoulders, as my mom says. You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
“What about Sonia’s dad? Isn’t it just as much his fault?”
“Yeah, it is.” I laughed. It felt good to say it. “Of course it is.”
The bell rang, and we packed everything on the table into a cardboard box and took it to the school office to store until tomorrow. On the way to English, Kim said, “You should read the end of The Giver.”
“I know what happens.”
“What?” she asked.
“Jonas gets on his bike and rides out of the Community with the baby. Some people think they die, but—”
“You finished it!” Kim interrupted.
“No, but I read the last few pages. It made me want to take Jack and ride away from here.”
“Except Jack’s not a baby.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” I said. “Do you think they die?”
“No way.” She looked straight at me. “They find Christmas.”
“That’s what I’m going to do—find Christmas. I swear I’m going to make things better.”
“Just like that?” She snapped her fingers.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, Supergirl.”
I laughed and puffed myself up until I really did feel bigger.
• • •
The next day at our table, Kim told me, “I was five when my mom and dad got divorced. They used to fight all the time,” she said. “Not saying your parents need to get divorced. But I used to think it was all my fault, and it wasn’t, of course. But there wasn’t anything I could do to change them, that’s for sure. They were just awful together. Parents are weird.”
“I know for a fact that my dad loves my mom, so I have to try.”
“You’re right,” Kim said. “My dad moved to California.”
“Do you see him now?”
“A couple times a year. I’m going to see him at Christmas and this summer. It’s fine. My mother’s really my best friend.”
“Really? I can’t imagine that.”
Dave Swanson came over with a box of Oreos. He slid them across the table and left.
“Thank you,” we called after him.
“Won’t these get crushed traveling six thousand miles?” Kim said. “Maybe we should eat them. I love Oreos.”
“I do too, but I’d feel too guilty.” I glanced over where Dave was sitting. “Should we invite him over to sit with us sometime?”
“He does seem lonely, doesn’t he? And he was pretty funny playing football.”
“Yeah. He asked me to the Spring Dance last year, you know.”
“I take it you said no.”
“He’s barely looked at me since. Until he tackled me on Sunday.”
“That was a nice way of getting your attention again,” Kim said. “I think we should wait to
ask him to sit with us. You don’t want to mislead him. And you have enough on your plate.”
“You’re right.” I was relieved. “Did you go to the dance?”
“No, even though I can dance.”
An eighth-grader plunked a package of lighters on the table. A few of the teachers had brought in packages of bars and trail mix, notebooks, pens, and batteries. Mr. Giraldi offered us a couple of videotapes with sports bloopers. Some kids gave us packages of candy and gum. One even donated a digital camera. Miss Pat contributed some school sweatshirts.
“Thanks for doing this with me, Kim,” I said.
“Anything for you, Supergirl,” she said. “By the way, what are you going to do?”
“Start by giving my mom a normal pill.”
We were cracking up as Rob jogged by and waved. I sucked in my breath.
Kim nudged me. “I think he likes you. Or maybe he likes Supergirl.”
“Actually, I think he likes everyone, but I don’t care. I’ll be right back, okay?” I didn’t wait. I sprinted down the hallway. I was going to do something.
I ran past Sonia and was surprised to feel this hurt open inside of me. On Sunday she had smiled and we had fun. Now she was like Mom—in a Deep Freeze again. I realized that it wasn’t just that I missed Sonia—it was that something was missing. In the last year, I’d become the one who tried hard. I wanted her to try, too. I wanted her to like me for me, not for my clothes and hair and stuff.
I could see Rob’s flannel shirt up ahead. My head felt light. I was suddenly right behind him. Jesse elbowed him, and he turned around.
“Hey.” He looked at me. Jesse walked a little ahead, then stopped to watch us.
“I have to go back”—I pointed to the cafeteria—“but I just wanted to tell you that I can go to Fresh if you can. Since you asked before.”
“We don’t have practice Friday afternoon.”
Jesse shoved Brandon in our direction. Brandon tripped and his books scattered across the floor. Rob grinned. “Okay?”
“Okay, Friday.” I waved a little and turned around and almost ran over Sonia. I smiled at her and then sprinted back to help Kim pack up our table.
Dear Blue Sky Page 11
