by Heidi Lis
Copyright © 2015 Heidi Lis
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Editing by: Emma Mack of Tink’s Typos
Editing by: Joanna Villalongo
Interior design by Cassy Roop of Pink Ink Designs
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Follow the Author
Prologue…5 years earlier
OUR STUDY SESSION ended early with, both of us knowing where tonight was heading. We’ve talked about this night for so long, it is the first time for both of us. Our nerves are getting the best of us as we make small talk sitting on his bed. Knowing Micah has had his share of make out sessions is a bit comforting, at least one of us knows what they are doing. My experience to this point in my life is limited; most of it comes from my romance novels I love to read. Wow, how sad is that?
He’s so gentle and caring, never rushing me. The fact that he keeps asking me if I’m okay, has me falling for him even more. He delicately kisses my trembling lips while lying on top of me. Fully clothed, Micah is rocking his body against mine. Somewhere between scorching hot kisses, my eyes glazed over, they are entranced in his icy blue eyes. His sultry smile cascades a blazing streak of fire down my body.
Removing my shirt over my head, Micah unhooks my bra and takes a nipple into his mouth. No words could ever describe how incredible this feels. The moans escaping my throat help intensify his urge to passionately consume me. I’m drowning in every touch and kiss he unleashes upon me.
The minute his teeth graze my skin is the moment my mind spins out of control. A fire in the pit of my stomach erupts into an inferno, the only one I crave, is him. Grasping his shoulders, I strip him of his shirt. My urge to touch him overtakes me as I trace his naked chest, letting my eyes drink in the sight of him. What a sight, Micah with a shirt on is sexy, but Micah shirtless is mind-blowing.
He moans, looking as though he is in pain. “Elsa, I love the softness of your body. So perfect.” He kisses a trail of wetness licking up one side of my throat just under my ear. “Your body tastes so good, you taste like a peach.” That would be my lotion.
My slight snickering has him whispering a ‘tsk-tsk’ before rocking his jean covered erection against mine. Oh my, God, when he hits that spot, I gasp, reaching for him. I had no clue being with him could ever be this good. Locking my hands under his pillow, Micah takes a hold of my hips, raising me slightly, so our hips touch before he sits back on his knees. He’s intentionally torturing me with his rock his hard pelvis. Lust-crazed moans escape my lips while the nerves in my body take a back seat to want.
“Micah, I’m so close.” The words escape my mouth with such intensity as my impending release inches even closer.
Glancing up, his larger frame swallows my petite one. He glides his chest against mine, whispering in my ear, “Hang on pretty girl, I’ve spent way too long waiting to see you like this. You’re so much sexier than in my dreams…and my dreams were pretty damn vivid.”
After we are both stripped of our clothes, Micah traces his index finger up my entire body from toe to lips. I’m finally getting a good look at him naked, and I freeze. My eyes widen, praying like hell my body will adjust to him. He catches my scared expression and he tips my chin with his finger.
“Are you sure you want this, pretty girl? Please, say yes, or I need to take a cold shower.”
A chuckle escapes my throat as I hold onto his hand, kissing it lightly. “I’ve never been this sure of anything in my life, but I’m nervous,” I whisper at the same time my throat tightens. “I want this to be good for you, too.”
No words, instead he takes my hand and brings it to his face. Cupping his cheek, he leans forward to press his lips with mine.
The minute he reaches for a condom he had in his jeans pocket, I close my eyes, praying. I want this more than anything, but the horrific stories I’ve heard about a girl’s first time is damn frightening. Those dreadful thoughts spark a sudden panic attack, without realizing it, I must have bitten my lip because my eyes snap open when Micah is pulling it free with his fingers. At once, I release it, and he seals his lips to mine yet again. This kiss is like no other kiss; it’s a kiss to end all kisses.
Softly, he whispers. “I swear I shouldn’t Elsa, but I think I’m in love with you.”
“Oh Micah, I know I’m in love with you.” My eyes instantaneously fill with tears. I have the confirmation for what I had hoped for so long. He loves me.
The look of surprise on his face glazes over as the spark in his eyes twinkle with his smile. “Really, pretty girl?”
I can’t help smiling. “Really.”
“Let me show you how much I love you.”
My heart stops beating, I forget how to breathe, and I swear time stands still. I’m yearning for him. “Show me.”
Taking a hold of my lower back, Micah lifts one leg over his hip. Lining himself up, he leans forward, and takes my lips with his own. Once again, I lose myself like I always do when he kisses me. The instant he parts my lips with his tongue, he thrusts into my mouth at the same time he pushes inside my body. Holding onto his shoulders, I cry into his kiss. The burning sensation pales in comparison to how incredibly full I feel. He’s consuming me, and I greedily take him in, ignoring the burn. My body quakes with every moan that escape my lips. I pull him closer with every thrust of his hips. The back and forth motions dull my pain as my desires increase tenfold.
Our need for one another only intensifies as a sex-crazed Micah props himself on his elbows and begins thrusting like an animal. His lustful moans and tantalizing smile make him even more desirable. I can feel I’m on the brink, as my stomach quivers and my muscles tense before tipping over the edge in euphoria. Quivering under his steady gaze and stronghold, he pushes me straight into oblivion. Not even two seconds later, Micah, with his eyes glazed over, starts shouting my name with his intense release.
Present Day
I’M STILL STRUGGLING, after all this time, my mind can’t stop from remembering. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard that five years is a long time to get over someone, anyone for that matter. No one understands. Here at Burn, my favorite gym, I’m doing the only thing that helps me deal with another day…without him. Months and years come and go, but the pain in my chest is as real as it was the moment my life no longer held any meaning.
Today is another anniversary I wish I didn’t have to remember what I’ve lost, yet the date on the calendar is a constant reminder. I’d rather feel nothing than the sorrow that wants to swallow me whole. As tears descend my cheeks, I aggressively deliver massive blows to the bag I’m releasing my unspent energy on. Even wit
h taped knuckles, my hands ache with each repeated blow. Determined to escape my own mind, I lower my chin, ignoring every sting of pain.
Using the gym was the only way I’ve learned to help release my inner pain. Typical of most nights, I’m struggling with the waves of torment that consume my mind. With every swing and music blaring in my ears, I’m pushing the images out of my head the best I can. The boy who stole my heart had left me with more than just memories. My life forever changed, and the physical and emotional scars are all I have left of him.
Please. (Punch)
Let. (Punch)
Me. (Punch)
Move. (Punch)
On. (Punch)
My mind’s spinning, my stomach’s churning, and my brain is urging me to hit the bag harder each time. My heart is betraying me, reminding me of his baby blues I’ve never been able to forget. Letting Micah in was as natural as breathing, letting him go was damn near impossible.
All I see are his eyes. (Punch)
All I hear are his cries. (Punch)
All I remember was being forced to do something I’ll never forget. (Punch…Punch…Punch)
Standing in the shower, I lower my head and absorb the hot water as it pierces my skin. I embrace the sheer sting for it allows me to escape one pain to seek comfort in another.
I need to make it through this night. Just need to keep it together for a few more hours, the day is drawing to a close. Breathe; I’ve nearly survived yet another anniversary.
TOSSING AND TURNING, sleep is evading me, it’s always on this precise date. April 5th is a date forever seared into my brain and stamped in my heart. The hardest of times is at night alone in my bed, it’s the time my mind drifts back…remembering like it was only yesterday. The harder I try to leave the past behind me, the more something takes me back to high school. Back, to the day a tall, brown hair, blue-eyed boy transferred to Kennedy High School, stealing my breath from that very first glance.
Sophomore year started out like any other until a new student from San Diego, California moved here. I was fortunate because I ended up having four classes with him. All of my time spent studying instead of going to parties has paid off. I was ahead in a few subjects while our newest student was behind in others. He was two years older and needed to complete a few core subjects he had not taken at his other school.
Each class, I sat wide-eyed, drooling at his good looks. When he introduced himself to the class, every girl admired his presence. I noticed him the minute he walked into the classroom with his rosy cheeks. He walked with an aura of confidence, not a bit timid. The moment he strolled in, a few eyebrows rose, and conversations halted midstream.
He had a lovely bronze color to his skin. One you would expect to get from living in sunny California. It was a nice change from our white, pale faces. His vibrant brown hair had light blond streaks, but damn, it was his eyes that halted my breath. Micah’s sparkling baby blues vastly contrast with his dark brown eyelashes. They simply command your attention. The minute he announced he liked to surf was not a total shock. His body screamed ‘surfer dude.’
I lost all rational thoughts while keeping my gaze on him, and the minute he spoke, his voice damn near had me falling out of my seat. His eyes danced around the room until our gazes met, locking onto each other before he lowered his eyes, breaking our connection. The minute his eyes left mine, my breaths halted, and my pulse raced. My eyes however, never moved.
“My name is Micah Taylor, I’m from San Diego, California. Not much to say, my parents moved here for work. I have a younger brother, Matt. I love to surf, read literature and have a good time.”
Right then someone shouted, “You mean you used to love to surf, not happening here in Iowa.”
The class laughed as Micah responded with a friendly nod of his head. My eyes devoured every inch of him with every word he spoke. It was the obnoxiously loud giggle that echoed in the room that killed my moment. No need to turn around, because sadly, I knew who it was. Sarah Sloan, also known as The Golden Beauty, was like a cat in heat. No mistaking her outburst, she was anything but subtle. Micah sure seemed taken by it, too. The goofy smile I had plastered on my face since I first noticed him, fell away as they shared a lovely smile. Great!
Not paying any attention to the rest of the class, I kept staring at the back of his head. He was seated a few rows ahead, and it saddened me. I could see the writing on the wall. It was the same old story, Sarah and her posse swarmed in and devoured any new guy who transferred to our school. No other girl ever stood a chance. Not with them around.
With every class Micah and I had together, I learned a bit more about him. His brother Matt was three years younger, and his parents Skylar and Dave Taylor work for a large marketing firm located here in Cedar Rapids. The McIntosh Group was a big deal around here. The second he mentioned he moved on the same street as me, I couldn’t help but blush. I happen to chuckle when I learned the large corner stone house at the end of my block is now where Micah called home.
Shaking my head, I wiped the stray tear as I remembered my first day with him. Stumbling out of bed, I realize I won’t be able to sleep anytime soon, so I might as well read. It’s my one true escape. Only two pages in, my mind wanders back to the first conversation I ever had with Micah. A faint smile spreads across my face. It’s nice to remember him with a smile instead of tears.
“Now, what’s so funny?” Micah whispered leaning closer to me. I never noticed he left the front of the class to sit down next to me. How did that happen?
I had to admit I was on cloud nine the minute he mentioned where he lived. I know that house, well.
Crap, did I laugh out loud and not realize it? To my embarrassment, I must have. Turning my head his way, I felt my cheeks flush, and my heart race. Opening my mouth though, words just spill out.
“Oh, I was just thinking about what you said,” shaking away my nerves, I unwittingly groan. “I learn more about you with every class we have together.” Needing to break the look he’s giving me, I lower my gaze to the floor. His eyes are intense, like they can read my every thought, intense.
It’s as if he has this magnetic pull on me, because my eyes automatically drift back to his. Once again, his insane baby blues dare me.
“Oh yeah? Come on, don’t hold out on me. You’re my only friend here, what had you laughing?” He continues to stare at me, but now he unleashes his sexy grin.
Friend? His sideways smirk only amplifies his hotness. It’s not an innocent smile either, nope, it’s a panty melting smile. Dimples and all.
The effect he is having on me is utterly impossible for me to comprehend. Flustered doesn’t even begin to describe it. I’m anxiously trying to find my voice, while I nervously bite the inside of my cheek.
Raising my head, I say, “Not to sound weird, but I know which room is most likely your bedroom.” Closing my eyes, I try to hold back my laugh. I know how wrong that sounded. Instead of embarrassing myself further, I bite the head of my pencil. Hard.
“Well now, that’s a new line for sure.” He said, with a slight clearing of his throat.
I can’t help but drag my eyes back to his face. His eyes are wide, and his cheeks flushed a lovely shade of pink as his Cheshire cat smile widens. I wonder what he’s thinking right now.
Feeling the need to explain, I’m annoyed that he thinks I’m hitting on him. Was I? Perhaps.
“What I meant to say is, my friend used to live there. I’ve been in your house many times.” He’s just smirking at me, so I hold my hands up surrendering. “Nothing weird about it, I just know the house well. Which is why I can narrow your room down to two possibilities.” I just can’t help myself! The thought of me knowing something private about him does put a smile on my face. Thinking of him alone in his room, oh man! I need to stop this daydream.
He watches me, casually playing with his lower lip. “Oh, now this is getting good. What’s your name, pretty girl?”
I kept my stare solely focused on his eyes,
speechless. No one ever called me that. My mouth must be open, because he puts his finger under my chin and gently closes it for me.
His brow slowly inches upward. “Are you okay, pretty girl?”
Pulling me out of my Micah trance, I can’t help but shake my head mumbling. “Oh, sorry. Not sure why you’re calling me that, but my name is Elsa.” I slowly say under my breath. “Everyone calls me El.”
His eyes squint. “Do you have a last name Elsa, who goes by El?” His voice ever so charming.
“Winters. Elsa Winters.” I’m still in my Micah trance; his baby blues have me under this powerful spell. Those eyes!
Hopelessly, I close my book. There is no way I will be able to read right now. My every thought is of him. His eyes I can still see, his voice, I can still hear.
“Jesus Elsa, are you ever going to forget him?” I realize I’m asking myself this same question yet again. Wiping the tears that sting my eyes, I remember the last thing Micah said to me after we had sex our one and only time.
Kissing me behind my ear, he whispered, “You changed my world, pretty girl.”
Just like that…my dream ends!
I suddenly focus on the noise coming from the room next door. Liza, my roommate, is in her room with her boyfriend. I never heard them come in. I have yet to meet this one. I figured I’d wait to meet him, see if he lasted longer than the last guy did. That poor sap never made it a week. Liza is never alone for long, I have no clue where she keeps finding them.
In all seriousness, the knocking on the wall as her bed bangs against it has me realizing this night is not going to end soon enough. I pick my book back up and curl up for the long night ahead.
“OH SHUT IT. YOU were so loud with that guy last night, I had to put my pillow over my head.” The love fest lasted over an hour, so I was forced to play music and use my pillow to drown them out. My attempt to read did not work.
