by Heidi Lis
Leaving my room, she’s grabbing her things and getting ready to leave. She quickly turns around to face me. “You know I told Ace all about how awesome you are. He can’t wait to meet you.”
She’s moving so fast, picking up things to add to her purse, I would say she’s nervous tonight. Pausing, as if she’s remembered something, she holds up her finger, grabbing her heels from the closet.
“Loves the name Pip, he says it's unique.” She’s leaning over trying to put on her shoe. No clue why she is telling me this.
“Um, okay,” I remark slightly embarassed.
“Liza, that’s not my name. You told him my name didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I told him Pip, it’s your name.” She says with a wink.
I give up. “Whatever, I need to get ready. Nick is coming over for a movie and dinner.”
Liza all but swoons with an evil grin. “Nice, are you ever going to put that boy out of his misery and screw his brains out?” She asks and I gasp.
Covering my mouth, I swat my hand toward her squealing. “Not. Christ Liza, you know he’s my friend, no matter how hard he tries for more.”
To avoid another conversation about Nick, I keep my eyes glued to the floor. She pauses, then walks over and puts her arm around my shoulder.
Relaxing my shoulders, I sigh. “Hey, I’m okay. Have fun, rock his world.” Raising my head, I glance at her with a grin. It’s my way of letting her know I’m fine.
With eyes locked on mine, she puckers her lips. “Um, okay. I will have enough fun for the both of us.” Straightening my black dress, it’s like a second skin on her. She stands in front of the floor length mirror and applies ruby red lipstick to her lips. In two point five seconds, she will no doubt have it all kissed off her face. I’m watching her, puzzled, as she sticks her index finger into her mouth, wraps her lips tightly around it and pulls it out. When she pushes it back in, my face tightens. What the hell is she doing?
Noticing my bewildered expression she says with a shrug of her shoulder. “Oh shit, you wouldn’t know this little trick.” Ouch! “When you apply your lipstick, push your finger in and out keeping your lips tight. The extra lipstick comes off on your finger and not on your teeth. Simple and works like a dream.” Smacking her lips, she seems satisfied with her look, and not a second thought to her insult.
I am clueless where she learned this trick. I nod to agree with her, not caring since I never wear lipstick. Turning I leave the room to order pizza from our phone in the kitchen.
Liza informs me with a huff that Ace is not coming up to the apartment, she is going to meet him at the bar. I’m a bit sad I won’t get to meet this handsome stranger, yet again. With the stories I’ve heard about him, my curiosity is more than piqued. To hear Liza talk, he is this sexy beast. I wave her off and send her on her way. The minute she walks out the door, I finally relax. Liza can be intense.
Soon after she leaves, Nick shows up for movie night. We watched the Hunger Games. I’m a sucker for it. I’ve even read the books. Sprawled out watching the end of the first movie, my phone beeps with an incoming text.
“Liza.” We both say to one another.
Glancing at my phone. “What the hell?” Once again, we say it at the same time. It’s a picture…of a guy’s ass…like a guy’s ass in tight jeans.
My eyes widen when it finally registers. “Oh, my God. She’s sending me a picture of Ace’s ass.” We both blurt out laughing, it’s so Liza to do something like this. More than amused, I keep my eyes glued to the picture. I have to admit, it’s a sweet ass.
I decide to text back.
Me: Bet you will grab that ass later. BTW: NICE ASS!
Two seconds later.
Liza: It’s Ace!
No Shit!
Nick and I roll our eyes, of course, it’s Ace. Who the hell else would it be? Unless she is snapping pictures of random guys in front of her date. Hearing her talk, Ace is an all-male macho who was in the military. Another reason I want to meet him. I knew Micah went into the Air Force, would Ace know him? No idea, but you never know. I never speak of Micah, not even to Liza.
Hours later, I’m asleep in bed when I hear my phone beep. Great!
Of course, it’s Liza.
Sleepy eyed, I cover my mouth looking at the picture of a half naked guy sleeping on his stomach. The frame is of his backside, his legs, his ass and half of his muscular back. Good Lord.
Half asleep, I yawn typing a message back to her.
Me: Jump his bones again and go to sleep. Good Lord, he is HOT!
Great. I roll my eyes, knowing I will go to sleep with these images stuck in my mind. Oh well, at least one of us is having a good time.
AFTER A WEEK from hell, I’m beyond ready for the weekend. Earlier today, I endured a tense filled conversation with my mother. It boggles my mind that still to this day, she thinks I could just forget about what my she and my father forced me do and believe I'm okay. That my feelings never really mattered or counted. I need a drink after talking with her, and indeed that’s what I’ve planned for tonight. It’s Friday and even better pay-day. Right after work, I worked out, hitting the bags to release my pent up frustrations. It was easy, I imagined my mother’s face and my anger toward her escaped with every swing of my fists. An hour later, I’m showered up and ready to have fun.
Dancing has always helped me let go, losing myself in the music. Each word and deep, soulful beat, is like a puppet master pulling the strings, and swaying my body to the music.
Liza, Nick and I head out to Blaze. It’s a great place to hang out and dance. Tonight I don’t mind a crowd, in fact, I’m more than ready for the bump and grind of bodies on the dance floor.
Sweat beads my face. Slowly trickling down my chest, it pools in my bra. My slightly see-through black shirt does not leave much to the imagination. My girls are busting out, with the help of my black satin push-up bra. Tonight was all about feeling sexy…desired even. In my drunken state, that’s exactly how I feel. I sway my hips, bumping and grinding against the sweaty bodies around me. Tonight, I like being around people.
My mother had to remind me, yet again, of the many mistakes I’ve made in the past. Always hounding me, she never just lets me move on with my life. I blame my bad attitude tonight on her. I’ve shut my brain off for the night. It’s time to let loose.
Liza’s dancing next to me, fuming upset that Ace has not shown up yet. He was supposed to meet us here. Presently rubbing up behind me is Nick, taking full advantage of my playful mood. Whatever cologne he has on tonight, well, let’s just say it’s driving me crazy. Brittany Spears is singing about her being a Naughty Bitchy Sexy girl, and I love it. Her words sway my mind and body.
I let my mind and body take a mini vacation tonight, the years of not allowing myself to feel anything other than regret and sorrow have taken their toll. Tonight, my naughty side joins forces with my dire, sexual frustrations. Right now, they are roaring. Turning to face Nick straight on, I grind my hips against his. Pulling on his shirt, I slam our bodies together in one big huff. Nick’s hands wrap around my hips and his face beams, pleasantly surprised.
Nick is taller than me, like most people. He is 5’9, slender, dark hair and has bright green eyes. A total looker and to sweeten the pot, he’s wanted me for years. All these years I have denied myself going there with him…until now. I’m wondering what the hell is wrong with me. He’s the only one who knows my darkest secrets, yet he still wants me. Why is it tonight, for the very first time, I can see how perfect he is?
He’s looking like a piece of steak, and I’m a sweaty lioness in heat. Oh God, let me roar. Just tonight, allow me to be brave enough to follow through with my desires and not regret it in the morning.
Letting my inner goddess explore, Nick leans next to my ear. “El, what the hell has gotten into you?”
Desperately wanting to feel his lips on me, I lean his way. His lips touch my ear and I instantly shiver.
His lips tickle my skin as they curve
into a smile. “Oh Jesus, what the hell are you doing? Don’t play with fire, El.” He says in my ear with a deep sexy moan.
Trying to act sexy, I do my best to dance with confidence, but I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I’m not this girl, but tonight I want to be. Running my hands over his shoulders, I reach the back of his neck, and pull him closer. “Do you like what you see, Nicholas?” I never call him by his full name.
Nick firmly tightens his hands on my hips. “Oh, are you trying to turn me on, you tease?” Ummm, yes!
My wild flare earns me a slap on the shoulder from a very puzzled looking Liza. “What the hell are you doing?” She’s giving me a puzzled look as if to ask ‘have you lost your mind?’
I shrug my shoulder, whatever.
“Okay, Pip. Let’s take you to the ladies' room, so you can cool off before you do something you might regret.” Pulling on my arm, I’m being hauled off the dance floor. I glance back over my shoulder to look at Nick, who has stopped dancing, and is now running a hand through his messy hair. He looks flustered. Maybe I can do sexy!
Pushing the door open, Liza wastes no time, shouting. “What are you doing, are you crazy?”
Really? Her icy tone pisses me off, in my current state of mind. I can’t hide my anger. Rolling my eyes, I’m ready to let her have it. Why the hell can’t I have fun without being called out for it? “I don’t know, but…” throwing my hands up, I slide against the wall. “I just want to be wanted, Liza. Do you know how freaking long it’s been since anyone has held me, or hell, even wanted me?”
Her face relaxes and shoulders drop. “Of course I know, but Pip, you let no one near you. Believe me, there are plenty of guys who would love to take you out. What about the guy you have out there?”
I know Liza is talking about Nick without her having to point her finger in his direction.
Instant tears rim my eyes. I ramble. “I heard you the other night with Ace when he dropped you off. You must have thought I was sleeping, but I heard every moan. I want… I want that. I want to be touched… kissed. Hell, I want to get fucked. Fast and hard, soft and sweet, I need to forget.” I’ve suddenly lost my mind shouting. “I need to forget him, Liza. He doesn’t exist… not anymore.” Dropping my head, I give in and cry.
Closing the distance, Liza pulls me into a big hug. My outburst and crying fit is drawing unwanted attention as half naked girls stroll in staring at me like I’m a drunken idiot. Hell, I don’t even care. I ignore the glares, finally opening up to Liza.
“I did, you know. I’ve tried to let him go because he’s not coming back.” Pulling back from her arms, I look into her piercing, sorrow-filled eyes, and they tear up without delay. It’s as if she really gets me.
With a look of determination, she says. “Screw him out of your mind once and for all. Nick cares for you, and it’s not like he’s ugly. That kid is hotter than hell. I told you long ago to jump his bones, try out the goods’ girl.” Her face softens. “This may help you. At least it will help with your pent up sexual frustration. Christ girl, five years of sexual frustration? Nick better hang on for dear life.” Raising an eyebrow at me, she lets out a giggle.
Her try at making me laugh works. We both stand to dry our eyes, wiping off the smudged mascara we both have
Blotting my eyes, I glance at her in the mirror, saying, “You know, this feels right. Nick has wanted me for a long time. It’s a wonder he waited this long. God, I need a drink. My mood killed my happy buzz.”
“You must have this potent spell on that boy. Hell, he won’t even look at any other girl. He’s a love sick puppy. Let’s go get you a drink for your nerves.” She says with an arm around my shoulder.
Liza’s phone must have beeped because she all of a sudden jumps a foot off the ground. Her face lights up with a smile. I know who that must be.
Liza lets out a scream. “Yeah, Ace is going to make it, after all. He will be here in an hour.” Her smile fades realizing something. “He’s going to miss you again, damn it.” Holding her phone, she types back. “I’m telling him Pip is on the prowl tonight and is finally getting laid.” What?
I gasp! “Don’t tell him that, Jesus he will laugh at me when he meets me.” Fixing my shirt, I pull myself together. I’m sure Nick is wondering if I bailed on him. Liza, well, I don’t have time to strangle her. I’ll leave her to deal with her boy toy.
Gathering my courage to face Nick we make our way out, dodging the people standing around. Just then, Liza shouts from behind me.
“Ace told me to tell you to give him the ride of your life.”
Laughing her ass off, she slaps my shoulder. Glancing back, I give her my evil eye. From the sounds of it, Ace is the perfect guy for her. Neither one of them has a filter on their mouths, and they both constantly have sex on the brain.
We find Nick sitting at the bar nursing his beer. When his eyes land on mine, it’s as if I’m seeing him for the first time. It’s so clear at this moment, I feel this magnetic pull toward him. Not sure if it’s the alcohol talking or I have finally told myself it’s okay. Feeling more confident I give him my most sexy smile, hoping he understands what I’m trying to say to him. Our eyes communicate, and he gets up and opens his arms for me. Not hesitating, I jump.
Liza laughs from behind me. “Oh, man. Nick, I think you might be in for the night of your life. All of these years of her not having sex are about to change.” Walking by me, she slaps his shoulder, chuckling. “Take her home, big guy.” She moves in and takes his seat at the bar, motioning for the bartender to bring her a beer.
Nick raises an eyebrow as he notices her order a drink. “You need a ride?”
With a sip of her beer, she responds. “Nope, sex on legs will be here soon enough. Maybe next time he will be on time so you can meet him.” Her disappointment is all too evident.
“Do you want us to stay and wait for you?” Nick asks her, while holding onto me as I rub my hips against his thigh.
Eyeing my odd behavior, she laughs. “From the look of Pip, she is going to dry hump you right here.”
Nick laughs, but then grimaces. “She can hump away, but you might be right. I need to get her home before she sobers up and changes her damn mind.”
To protest, I reach out and slap his chest. “First, I’m right here, and secondly, I will not change my mind. We both know this should have happened a long time ago. I’m ready.”
Shocked to hear those words from me, his eyes widen. “Shit, I need to get her out of here, and quick.” His grimace lingers and then it hits me. He’s pulling on the front of his jeans, the source of his discomfort is now visible. The bulge in his pants looks like a python trying to get loose. Sweet Jesus. This boy does not lack in the male department.
Our eyes lower to Nick’s crotch when Liza spits out her beer and coughs. “Oh my God, don’t let that thing loose in here. Damn Pip, you are in for a night.” Liza reaches over to bump Nick’s shoulder.. “Just make sure she can walk tomorrow, we’re going shopping.”
Very Funny.
“Oh, I’ll take good care of my girl here.” The way his eyes light up when he says ‘my girl’ warms my heart.
“You both realize I’m right here, in the same room with you both. Take me home before I chicken out.” I say, directing my attention to a very wound up Nick.
That does the trick. My arm is being pulled out of its socket by Nick, who is making a mad dash for the entrance. Liza was laughing so hard, she yelled at us before the door shuts.
“You go girl; Lord knows you deserve it.”
DESIRE OVERTAKES MY onslaught of nerves, and my body is set ablaze as Nick takes his time peeling me out of my clothes. When I’m down to my matching black bra and panties, he licks his lips, ready to devour me. My gaze slowly connects with his lust filled eyes. My attempts to calm myself diminish the minute his lips fall open. His eyes spark, finally having me where he always dreamt he would. His shaking hands seem unsure where to touch me first.
Tenderly, he places a k
iss on my shoulder, as he whispers in my ear, “My God, you’re so beautiful.” Walking around me, he traces his finger to my neck before delicately trailing it down between my aching breasts. His touch causes shivers to cascade down my spine. The soft touch is foreign, but I ache for more. My eyes drift closed as a flurry of emotions flood my head and my heart. Every touch echoes another set of hands that had softly traced every inch of my body. Unmistakable hands forever cemented in my mind. No matter how long ago it was, I’ll always remember. Oh God, this can’t be happening right now. Five long years have passed. How is it possible I can still remember how he felt? It’s as if that memorable night has been forever branded in my soul.
I can feel Nick hesitantly pulling away. “I’m so sorry.” My tears spring to life.
“Hey,” pulling me around to face him. “Baby girl, no tears, not tonight. I won’t let him in, not between us, not this evening.” I swear, Nick has an ability to sense my flaws, he is just painstakingly sweet and I don’t deserve him. I’m baffled as to why he would want a girl who is so hung up on a guy who is no longer in the picture.
My hands hide my face as my voice catches in my throat. “I don’t understand why I’m crying, why I can’t…forget.” I’m so desperate to get over my past, I beg Nick. “Please, forgive me, help me to forget him.”
“Hey,” letting out a staggered sigh to calm himself, he cups my hands in his. “I knew this might happen. It’s okay El, I prepared myself just in case.” I gasp and widen my eyes horrified.
“What?”
“Just tell me one thing,” he moves closer so we are nose to nose. “Do you want me, Elsa?” The obvious pain in his eyes melts me to my core. We are both hurting. I want Nick, but as much as that is true, it does not stop my brain from remembering…him.
