by R. J. Adams
I feel like I am going to explode, I moan heavier into his mouth as my nails dig into his back, “let go,” he whispers.
With those words I feel an explosion inside me, my god it feels so good. He pushes deep and grips the bed sheets, pulling them close to him as he reaches orgasm.
He falls down on top of me; I feel his hot and sweaty body trembling against mine. His heart is racing and his breathing heavy, what was that I felt. I stare at the ceiling and I feel him grinning.
“I cannot see you but I know what you’re doing, what are you smirking at.”
“You,” he replies breathlessly, “you come so hard and so did I, which was the most amazing thing I ever felt.”
Oh so that’s what that was, that amazing exploding feeling, I had an orgasm. “You enjoyed that, it wasn’t.....” I ask feeling nervous.
“I have never made love to anyone, I just made love to you and it felt amazing, you were amazing and I couldn’t get enough of you,” he strokes my face and kisses me again.
“Oh my god,” I shoot up, “Jack, we didn’t use a condom, shit!”
He pulls me back down next to him, “it’s okay, I wanted to feel you and besides, no matter what happens you’re the only girl I’m ever going to be with.”
I’m happy I have lost my virginity to him, I love him and no matter what issues we have had, he is always going to be the one I would have wanted to share that with.
His breathing has finally calmed and he is just lying there stroking my arm, pulling me into his arms.
“So, I guess this means I’m yours again?” I ask him, grinning to myself.
“You were always mine,” he answers back, completely taking me by surprise.
I knew he always felt that way, even when we had arguments and even when we broke up, I knew his feelings never changed. It was always obvious whenever he was around me, the way he’d act or do certain things. As we go to the same school, even though at one point we were not speaking, it was hard to avoid him all the time.
I smile and my inner person starts screaming and jumping for joy.
Jack and I are a couple again and I couldn’t be happier. Relaxed and comfortable in his arms, I once again drift back off to sleep.
Chapter 5
The sun shines through the large windows and the warmth touches my feet. It’s warm. I open my eyes and for a moment I feel happy and peaceful.
I look over to see Jack isn’t in the bed with me but the shower is running in the bathroom. I look at my phone but I have no messages from my mother, maybe everything was ok last night.
I hear someone whistling, I know that song. I swear I heard it before. I get up out of bed listening to the sounds of the water in the shower, it’s Jack whistling that tune.
What is that tune, I know I have heard it before. Then suddenly it clicks, it’s three blind mice. Sophia’s mom used to sing it to us when we were kids; it was her signal she said to tell us something bad was coming. Why is he humming that tune?
I push open the bathroom door to be confronted by none other than that black figure and those glowing white eyes. I dare not scream, “Who are you?” I asks terrified of the response.
It reaches out towards me and again whispers ‘all is not what it seems; find the truth, save him.’
I quickly sit up, I’m back in the bed and it is day time, the sun is shining and Jack is not in the bed. What just happened seems to be repeating itself.
I get out of bed and slowly walk towards the bathroom where I can hear the shower, however, no humming. I push the door open slowly to see Jack dancing through the shower glass.
I look around the bathroom and everything seems normal although I could have sworn I have just done this, was it another dream?
“Hey beautiful you coming in?” he smirks through the misted glass.
I drop the sheet I pulled off the bed to cover me and hop into the shower, my eyes cautiously looking around the room waiting to see something else.
Throughout the day in school I am drifting along in auto-pilot. Those words echoing through my head ‘save him.’ Save who? Who am I meant to save? If I over think this then I think I am going to drive myself crazy.
I look around school for Jack but I have not seen him since this morning. Lucy however is floating around in her cheap clothes flashing her vagina at anyone who pays attention, well not literally but you get what I mean.
As I stand by my locker urgently trying to get hold of Jack, she ‘accidentally on purpose’ bumps into me making me drop my books on the floor.
“Woops, no-one notices the virgin,” she sniggers.
“But everyone notices the slut,” I bite back as I pick my books up off the floor.
“No Jack today, aww,” she points out tutting sarcastically.
“No,” I stand grabbing my books, “after him fucking my brains out last night he must be tired. Must be really hard for you, the most popular guy in school being the only one to say no to you, then again, he probably doesn’t want to catch whatever disease you might be carrying,” I smirk, “I’d get checked if I was you.” I give her the cold shoulder showing her I have no interest in her, turn and leave.
Once again I try to get hold of Jack but his phone seems switched off. Where the hell is he? He came with me to school this morning and seemed fine. I have checked all his classes and he hasn’t been seen coming out of them.
I carry on with my day, also trying to get hold of my mother whose phone is also switched off. Where is everyone? As my attention is diverted, this is noticed by my teachers who are picking up on my lack of participation, normally I am the first to speak up.
As the end of the day approaches, I feel the day has completely passed me by. Being on auto-pilot with my mind worrying all day, I haven’t spoken to any of my friends today, my mind has been completely elsewhere.
I head straight home, I haven’t spoken t my mother since yesterday and her texts were cold and not the same. As I approach the house, I get an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that something isn’t right.
I can see from the outside that the drapes are closed which is unusual, my mother opens them every morning without fail. She never lies in because she sorts out breakfast and then goes to work.
The car is still on the drive-way so she must still be home. I look over and my lovely nosey neighbour is trimming his hedges. He is like the street gossip column, knows everything about everyone.
I give a polite wave as he is clearly watching me, “Hey George, have you seen my mum?” I shout across.
“No, she has not been out since she come back yesterday; I have seen that cousin of yours though,” he nods disapprovingly, “roaming the streets last night in her night-gown, gave poor old Dorothy a fright.”
Dorothy is his wife. You never really see her anymore; she just sits in the front window, staring out into the street with a sour look on her face. It’s as if she is angry at anyone walking passed and for no reason whatsoever.
Just before I head inside, my phone rings, finally it’s Jack ringing me back, annoyed I pick up the phone and scream at him, “where the hell have you been? I have been trying to get hold of you all day, something....”
“Rayne I need to talk to you,” he cuts me off, his voice cold and he seems different, “just listen ok.”
I don’t say a word back; I want to know what it is he has to say and why he has been ignoring me all day.
“I’m not at home, I have left the city, it doesn’t matter where I am I’m so sorry. I couldn’t handle the fact I was told my mother had an affair and my father, well, he may not be my father. I don’t know how to deal with this but I need some time away.”
My mouth falls open to the floor, he’s run away? His dad is not his dad? This is far too much for me to deal with right now. I’m so angry at him, why didn’t he come to me instead of running away? I could have helped him, calmed him down, “how fucking dare you? Ring me up to tell me you’ve run away from your problems instead of facing them, slee
p with me, tell me all that bullshit that you’ll be with me forever, even reassured me when I panicked about the condom and then you fucking leave me, how fucking dare you use me like that,” I snap in anger.
“Rayne I didn’t mean....”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses,” I snap at him, my god I am so angry.
“Rayne, I need you to understand, I....” he stutters his words, I barely hear any sadness in his voice.
Instead of keeping calm and listening, I lose it, completely lose it and lay into him, “I need to what Jack, be there? Listen? You want to run away then fine, you do that but don’t you ever contact me again,” and with those words I disconnect the call and turn my phone off.
George is still looking at me; no doubt he heard all that and will be discussing it with the other busy bodies at some point. I give a polite nod and head inside the house. Why was Sophia out and about on her own? The door is always locked; she doesn’t even know where we hide the key.
I walk in the house to be confronted by a god awful smell that can only be described as faeces and something rotting.
The lounge is a mess, like someone has gone around throwing the furniture and smashing things up. The kitchen has plates of food still untouched, clearly from last night and my mother’s phone is on the kitchen counter, with texts and missed calls from me that have not been opened yet.
I head upstairs, calling out to my mother but I get no answer. My mind is racing with a million things, what’s wrong, is my mother ok, what the fuck is Jack playing at?
At the top of the stairs I see my mother’s door at the end of the landing which is closed and to the right, mine and Sophia’s door which is open. Whose bedroom shall I look in first?
My belly is swirling with nerves. I slowly walk across the landing; I hear no sounds from anyone. Are there actually people at home?
As I approach our bedroom, I see Sophia sat on the bed in silence, creepily rocking back and forth on the end of the bed.
“Sophia,” I call out cautiously, “is everything ok?” But she doesn’t answer me, “where is my mother?” I ask but again I am met with silence.
I back out of the room, tip-toeing making sure I don’t disrupt her; I cannot tell if she is in her crazy mood or just being awkwardly silent.
I know my mother would never go out and leave her on her own, but if she was in the house why hasn’t she come out after I have called out to her and why is her car still on the drive?
With nerves and horrible feelings running through my body, I slowly walk towards my mother’s closed bedroom door. The temperature drops to something icy cold, prickling at my skin like needle tips.
In-front of me a dark shadow appears, that dark figure I have seen so often in my dreams, am I dreaming now? It whispers ‘all is not what it seems’ and then it disappears.
I look around me quickly, where did it go? What the fuck does it mean? Scared and shaking like a leaf, I knock on my mother’s bedroom door, “mom, you in there?” But just like Sophia, I do not get a reply.
Pushing open the bedroom door, what I see I was not expecting. There, covered in blood is the body of my mother lying on the bed, dead.
Chapter 6
I let out an almighty scream at the highest pitch my lungs would allow and for some reason I cannot stop. Standing in the doorway I can barely move, frozen in fear and disgust at the sight of my mother’s bloodied dead body.
My screams must have attracted the attention of passerby and neighbours because I hear the doorbell ring but I cannot move or call down to answer, I just keep screaming.
I hear stopping footsteps and voices behind me, then all of a sudden there is an a hand on me, I jump out of my skin not expecting it as a man ushers me out of the room.
I fall to floor, staring into nothing trying to find my sanity and work this entire thing out. As I look up, a man goes into the bedroom and I hear him talking to Sophia, who the fuck would do this and why is she remaining silent.
“Rayne, Rayne look at me, what the hell happened? Are you alright? Rayne?” my kind neighbour asks me but I barely hear his voice, it’s like a sound in the distance.
My mother has been murdered, I feel so sick. I watch as Sophia is led out of her room and taken downstairs and then I am suddenly sat on the sofa. Lots of people surround me, it’s dark, mumbled voices can be heard. How did I get here? My mind is a blur; all I can picture is my mother, my dead mother.
Sophia is next to me, rocking and staying silent. I want to shake her and get some answers to the questions I have building but it’s no use. She will never talk unless she wants to and I can barely speak myself.
“Miss, can you hear me,” I hear snapping me out of my own mind and there in-front of me is a man, a very beautiful, very young man in a blue uniform, “Miss, are you alright?” He asks again, I just nod.
He moves away and sliding into his spot is a much older man, very authoritative looking wearing a grey suit and a tie that doesn’t match and holding a notepad. “Miss, I am Detective Clarke, is it ok if I as you a few questions?”
I just nod; I don’t know how much use I can be to him. I am in shock, can barely speak and I don’t really want to hear the fine details of how my mother died.
“Do you live here?” He asks, what kind of a stupid question is that? I nod in agreement, “lovely, can you tell me your name Miss?”
Do they not have this information already? There are pictures of me right next to him with my mother, are these really the types of questions he is going to ask, I cough clearing my throat but I am only able to get out a whisper of a word, “Watts, but call me Rayne,” I reply.
“Certainly, Rayne, are you related to the victim?” He asks, his tone cold, no compassion and no empathy. He seems he is simply just doing his job.
Victim? Did I hear him right? Victim? My mother was a victim? That doesn’t seem to sink in, who would ever what to hurt her, “she was my mother,” I reply still a whisper.
“Sir, I think it would be best to maybe ask these questions tomorrow,” The beautiful young men suggest quietly behind him, the detective barely notices him, “she is clearly distressed,” he looks at me, “is there somewhere you can go for the night?” He asks me softly.
I shake my head; there is nowhere I can go. This is my home, I would probably have gone to Jack’s but he has left, ran away to god knows where. “I’m all alone; it’s just me and Sophia.”
“This the young lady sitting next to you,” the detective points, “I can see she is in need of psychiatric help, you are not equipped to look after her.”
He is right. I am not able to look after her all on my own, but he has no idea what type of help she needs. He has no idea at all.
“Sir, officer, person,” I stumble in my words, “Sophia does need help, and she is my cousin, my mother....” I swallow a lump in my throat holding back tears, “my mother was her carer; trust me officer person, you have no idea.”
He sort of coughs in a way of clearing his throat, adjusts his god awful tie and leans down, “well we have someone come and take a look at her and she will need to be admitted for psychiatric care, in the meant-time you will need to stay elsewhere, this place is now a crime scene.”
“And where am I meant to go?” I snap at him, “This is my home, my home. I have nothing else.”
“Please allow me to help,” the officer steps in having just spoken to two other men, he turns to the detective, who barely notices him again as he continues to read over his notes, “Marshall and Dockson have called the hospital, they are sending someone for the patient, they should be here shortly.”
“Lovely,” the detective responds without looking, “I will need to speak to Miss,” he looks up at me for an answer but turns back to an officer next to him, not the one who has kindly offered him information, what a rude man to ignore him, “tomorrow, if you are going to sort accommodation for her, please make sure she comes to me, I will need to ask her some questions.”
The detective
joins the rest of the officers and god knows who else is in my house as the kind officer leans down
and looks at me. His eyes are soft and his smile is sweet, he seems so friendly, “I know somewhere you can stay.”
I smile awkwardly back, “thank you but I cannot leave yet, I need to wait for the people who are going to deal with Sophia first, it’s complicated but I’m afraid if I leave, she will not remain as calm as she is now.”
He looks confused but I’m not explaining this to him right now. I go upstairs passed the people in white jump suits and masks and into our bedroom. I grab the bottles of medication next to Sophia’s bed and then head back down stairs, avoiding looking into my mother’s room, walking passed the people carrying bags of my mother’s blood soaks clothes and bed sheets.
As I get to the bottom of the stairs I see a white van pull up outside my house and I know, they are there for Sophia. I quickly get back to the sofa, she is the only family I have left I have to make sure she is ok.
“Sophia, there are some people here that are going to help you, I’m so sorry I don’t know what I am going to do but please....” but before I finish she attacks me. I scream to get her off and people surround is trying to pull her away but she has such a tight grip on me.
She starts screaming, “He will pay, he will pay, you will never save him, I will be back for you.”
Struggling to break free from her grip she suddenly gives a sharp look, eyes wide open and then falls limp on top of me. I catch my breath as she is lifted off of me, I see someone stood with a needle in his hand as they carry her away.
“Are you alright?” The man dressed all in what appears to be blue scrubs asks me, I nod in reply watching as they take her away. “Is that a regular occurrence?” He asks.
“Not like that, I mean well yeah I guess so but....” her words replay over in my head, what did she mean, ‘he will pay, I will be back for you,’ “Umm, is she going to be okay?”
He smiles reassuringly “of course we will take great care of her, here is my card, please call us tomorrow, the detective is going to want to speak to her, we will let you know of her progress and anything when you call us.” He nods his head at the officer and then leaves.
