Lydia didn’t say anything for a minute. She just stared at me. “I think it’s best if you discouraged him if he tries to come over again. Only because Jax seems too comfortable with adults.” Her hands gripped her coffee mug. “He needs to hang out with people his own age.”
“But he has friends at school,” I said.
“You’re not hearing me. I mean he needs friends he hangs out with on a regular basis. Not all us old folks.”
My laugh was shrill. “We’re not that old.” I pulled at a thread on my robe, twirling it around my finger until it hurt. My gaze slowly lifted to Lydia’s eyes. “It’s natural for children to pull away from those apron strings. I know it’s hard to watch your babies leave the nest, but you did a great job raising them. Trust me, your young man is just fine.”
“But you’ll talk to him? Next time you see him, you’ll discourage him from coming over? I don’t know, maybe tell him to ask some of those girls who like him out on a date?”
“I don’t really see him that much, Lydia. But next time I do, I’ll talk to him.”
She sagged against her chair. “That’d be great.” She sighed. “Nobody told me before I had kids that I’d worry about them so much.”
We sipped coffee for a few more minutes, then Lydia sat up straight. “I’m really excited about my weekend with Troy. We’re booked at the Hotel Del Coronado for the weekend. Nineteen year anniversary! Can you believe it?”
“That’s so sweet. You two are a couple of kids in love.”
“Maybe that’s why I’m thinking about Jax so much. I want this for him one day.” She took another sip of coffee, glanced at her wristwatch. “We leave this afternoon. Hey, can I use your restroom? Coffee’s going right through me.”
While Lydia was in the bathroom, I combed a hand through my hair, took another sip of coffee, and tried to control my breathing. This whole affair had gotten way out of hand.
“Hey!” Lydia said, when she came out of the bathroom. She wore a cat-who-swallowed-the-canary smile. “What’s this all about?” She held up a neon pink sticky note on which something had been written. “Is there something you’re not telling me? Did you meet someone at school?” My throat went dry when I saw what was written on the note. A heart had been drawn with the proclamation, R + J in the center.
“Where’d you find that?” I stammered.
“It was stuck to your hamper.” Her face became concerned. “Roz, are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.”
I forced myself to speak. “I’m fine. It’s just that …”
“Oh honey, I didn’t mean to pry.” She held up the note. “It was staring me right in the face when I used the bathroom.” She looked at me expectantly. “So, who’s J?”
“Just … somebody I met … through surfing.”
She clapped her hands together. “That’s great! When do we get to meet him?”
“Well, thing of it is, I don’t think I’m going to keep seeing him.”
“Oh.” She handed me the note. “Why not?”
“He’s too … needy.”
Lydia didn’t say anything for a while. Then, finally she said. “Maybe when I get back from the Del, we can talk.” Her hand moved to her chest. “You know, I called to confirm the reservation last week and they had us down for the wrong days, but I was able to fix it. That gave me a scare, because nothing can go wrong this weekend. Troy and I need time to ourselves.” She gave me a hug. “I’ve got to get home to pack. Now get out of that bathrobe. See you when we get home.”
Lydia left, and I flew into a rage, slamming dishes into the sink so hard I actually shattered one. Things had gotten out of control with Jax, and I had nobody to blame but myself. I had to cut things off with him before we got caught. How could I have let things go this far? Gripping the side of the kitchen sink, I bit back tears thinking about the fact that I really did care about Jax, but the situation was impossible. I would wait until Lydia and Troy left for their trip then I’d go over to Jax’s house and break it off for good. I simply had to.
Jax
Maybe it was wrong of me to tell Rosalyn that I loved her. I’d broken one of her unspoken rules.
But I did love Rosalyn.
The day after I told her, I paddled out at Sunset Cliffs with my dad. The waves were about head-high, the cool Pacific Ocean making everything that could’ve been wrong in life right. My parents were scheduled to leave for their weekend away, and I figured I’d take the time to go to Rosalyn’s house and continue our conversation. I would find a way to convince her we were right for each other.
During a lull between sets, we sat in the lineup, and I asked my dad, “Dad, what’s it like to be in love?”
He seemed surprised. “Is this a hypothetical question, or are you thinking of someone in particular?”
I made circles in the water with my hands. “It’s just that you and mom are so happy together, and I wonder what that’s like.”
He grinned. “When I met your mom, we were a couple of kids. She was in my science class, and I’d always try to figure out a way to sit at her table just for a chance of feeling her long hair brush against my arm.” He had a dreamy look in his eyes. “Once, we had to dissect a frog together, and she nearly blacked out from the smell of formaldehyde. I got to bring her a cup of water and touch her arm to make sure she was okay.” He looked over his shoulder for the next set of waves. “I guess love’s about little things like that. Wanting to make sure the other person’s okay. Sitting close to them just so you can smell their perfume.” A set came through, and he winked at me. “I’ll go left.”
I got myself into position and paddled right. As I rode that gorgeous wave, glancing up at the cliffs covered with bougainvillea, I felt pretty darn lucky. I knew exactly the feeling my dad had described. When I was with Rosalyn, the only thing I cared about was that she was happy, that she had everything she needed, and that she was content. It wasn’t only about the sex, though the sex was beyond my wildest imaginings. I got a hard-on underneath my wetsuit just thinking about it. Rosalyn and I were right for each other. I wanted to protect her, to make sure the big bad world didn’t upset her, and to provide a happy life for her. All I wanted was to make her happy for the rest of her life.
We paddled back out to the lineup. “Funny you’re asking me about love because your mom’s been bugging me to talk to you.”
I cocked my head. “About what?”
“She thinks you should’ve had a lot of girlfriends by now.” He combed a hand through his wet hair. “I tell her to chill out. Guys have to find the right woman.” He eyed me. “You interested in anyone?”
I looked away, my eyes scanning the horizon. “Matter of fact, there is somebody I like.”
“Really? When do we meet her? Your mom’s going to have a cow when I tell her.”
My heartbeat sped up. “Don’t tell her yet. Because … I want to make it perfect.”
“You really like this one?”
“Yep. She’s pretty special.” And then, feeling the need to explain myself, I said, “All the girls who’ve been coming around, none of them have been my type, but this one …”
He smiled. “I told your mom not to worry. Well, that’s cool! Maybe when we get back next week, we can have her over.”
I cleared my throat. “Maybe.”
I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t really expect my mom and dad to accept that Rosalyn and I were together. But still. I knew with every ounce of my being that we were in love, and that had to conquer all.
We surfed for another hour then it was time to leave.
My parents headed out to their romantic weekend together.
I couldn’t wait to have what they had.
With Rosalyn.
Rosalyn
I waited until Troy and Lydia were safely away before going to Jax’s house late that afternoon. I stormed in, pushing past him, and he followed me into the living room. I brandished the sticky note in his face. “What exactly is the mean
ing of this?”
His adorable grin was almost enough to break my heart. “Like I told you, you and me, we’re together now. Roz, it’s time we stop hiding. Get used to me writing you love notes.”
“Are you crazy?” My body shook, and I crumpled the note, throwing it on the floor at his feet. “Your mother came over this morning and found this in the bathroom.”
He moved toward me and held my elbows. “It was meant to be a surprise for you when you woke up this morning.”
I shrugged out of his grasp. “Yeah, well the surprise was on me all right. Your mom thinks I’ve got a boyfriend.”
“You do have a boyfriend.”
“I don’t!” I turned around and peeked down the hallway. “Where’s your brother?”
Jax dropped onto the sofa, putting his feet up on the coffee table, a half-grin on his face. “At practice.”
“You really thought it was a good idea to tell me you love me? And write this … this … note?” I kicked the note with my foot. “I thought we had a deal. I thought you and I decided it was just fun and games. If I’d have known you were going to go all soft and googly eyed on me, I would’ve never started this whole thing.” My body shook, my hair standing on end. I paced too close to Jax, and he reached out for me. “Don’t touch me! This thing has gone far enough. You want to know how I felt when your mom found this note? Well, I’ll tell you how I felt. I felt like screaming at myself and asking why I couldn’t find another man. Somebody more my age. I asked myself why I’ve wasted all this time screwing you, when there’s plenty of other guys who I could’ve had much more with. A real relationship. A relationship where my fuck-buddy’s mother wasn’t my friend. Jesus, what have I done?”
“Are you done?” he said, his voice relaxed.
I stood in the living room, my face in my hands, and Jax very calmly stood up, put his arms around me and said, “I love you. I don’t care who knows it.”
I jerked away, pushing him with all my might, but Jax was much stronger. “Stop saying that! You can’t know that. You’re too young.”
“I do love you, and Rosalyn, whether you want to admit it or not, you love me.” He pulled me close, holding my arms tightly. “Look at me.” I turned my head away from him until he grasped my face between his hands. I stared into his blue eyes. “Rosalyn … I love you. We’re right together. We’re perfect together.”
I turned my head so hard, my neck almost snapped. “We’re not right for each other. I’ve made a huge mistake leading you on.”
He forced me to turn toward him again, his hands cradling my face. “You didn’t lead me on. I wanted this. You wanted this. It’s a real relationship.”
“All we do is fuck! It’s not real. What do you know about real?”
“I know that when I’m with you, it’s the only place I want to be.”
“Of course it is. You get to have your dick inside me. What teenager wouldn’t want that?” Saying those words aloud made me realize just what I’d done.
“It’s not like that. We’re both adults. We can stop hiding. We can do other things besides sex. We can start surfing together again. We can tell my parents—”
“No! We’re not telling anyone what’s been going on.”
“‘We will,” he said. He let go of my face, and his hands fell to his side. We gazed at each other. I didn’t want to hurt Jax, and the thing of it was, I did care about him. He’d been amenable to anything I wanted, from learning how to please me in bed to following my rules about when we’d be together. He ran errands for me, like bringing me a tube of white oil paint because it was the color I used up the fastest. He combed Leo for fleas, a task I despised because I didn’t want to kill the poor little fleas. He even went down to the 24-hour corner store, a place I thought was creepy because it had been robbed a couple of times, to get me lighter fluid when my lighters ran out of fluid and I needed to toke up and relax. All the little things Jax did made my life so much easier.
I took a deep breath. “Sweetie, it’s not going to work. Please don’t make this hard on me.”
“I’m not letting you go, Roz. I’m an adult now, I’m old enough to know better, and I know you and I …” His eyes were an especially deep color blue as the sun streamed through the open window. “Rosalyn, I love you.”
Jax tried to kiss me.“Jax, don’t.” I pushed him away halfheartedly. His body pressed against mine, and damn, I couldn’t resist him. His heart beat so hard that it vibrated my being, like we were one person. He grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me into him for a deep kiss, our warm tongues mingling. The kiss was urgent, and when we pulled away, Jax tilted my head back and kissed my neck, his breath hot. His mouth found its way to my earlobe where he nibbled, shivers enveloping my body. My scalp prickled with delicious intensity as his hands ran through my hair and his mouth kissed my cheek and forehead before he came back to greedily French kiss my mouth. I threw my arms around him, my crotch pressed into his hard-on. His hand reached down to lift my leg, and he pulled me even closer, his cock gyrating against my pelvis. I was dripping wet, my pussy throbbing. In between our kisses, Jax murmured, over and over, how much he loved me. I told him not to say that, but he said it again. After a while, I stopped correcting him because I was lost in the intensity of our connection. He let go of my leg and peeled the spaghetti straps of my tank top over my shoulders, yanked the shirt down, then bent his head to suck my nipples. I threw my head back. His mouth was deliciously warm, and when his hand slowly circled, then playfully squeezed my other nipple, a heat spread through my pelvis. God, I wanted him to fuck me.
And it was at that moment that the front door opened.
“Boys? What’s Rosalyn’s car doing …” When Lydia saw us, the shock on her face was something I’ll never forget, no matter how long I live. She stood stock still, one hand poised on the half-open door, her face a mask of confusion. “Jax?”
Jax snapped his head up, and I quickly yanked my top up, covering my breasts. Jax moved toward his mother, a nervous smile playing upon his face. “Mom …”
I straightened, putting my hands in front of me. “Lydia, this isn’t what you think.”
Jax touched his mother’s arm, but she snatched away. “What the hell is going on?”
My voice shook. Blood pounded through my ears. “It’s not what it looks like. Jax was just …” I looked to Jax for help.
Lydia’s eyes were cold, her body shaking. She jabbed a finger in my direction. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing with my son, but—”
“Mom!” Jax moved toward his mother, forming a barrier between Lydia and me. “It’s okay. I was going to tell you anyway.”
Lydia stared at Jax like he was a stranger. Her words were slow, measured, and filled with venom. “Tell … me … what, young man?”
“Mom, it’s okay. Rosalyn and I … we’re in love.”
She stared at him, her body like a statue. None of us said a word. And then Lydia slapped Jax’s face so hard that his hand immediately flew to his cheek where a red handprint bloomed. “Go to your room! Oh, my God, what has gotten into you?” She turned on me. “And you! I don’t know what kind of trash you’ve filled my son’s head with, but I want you out of my house this instant.”
Jax tried to calm his mother, but she would have none of it. “Mom,” he said in an urgent voice, “She didn’t do anything to me. I wanted this. I love her!” I wanted Jax to shut up because he was making things worse, but my lips wouldn’t form words.
Lydia stood in the living room, her body shaking with rage. “I want you two to listen to me real good. I am not ruining the weekend Troy and I have planned. I’m going to walk out this door and have the vacation we’ve been looking forward to without telling him about this … this … disaster that’s going on in his son’s life. But when I get back, we’ll deal with this. And you!” She stabbed a finger in my direction. “Stay away from my son.” She stormed to her bedroom and retrieved her makeup case and slammed the door. The next thing we
saw was the Volvo pulling out of the driveway.
Jax turned to me, his hand on my shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll make them understand.”
I burst into tears, my body shaking with the emotion of the past year’s bottled up lies and secrets. Jax held me while I cried deep wrenching sobs into the crook of his neck. The room spun, and I thought I was going to throw up. I could barely speak through jagged breaths. My voice was a croak when I said, “Your mom is never going to forgive me.” Jax held me tighter, and I pushed him away. “I told you this was going to happen!” My shoulders shook; my nose ran. I wiped it with the back of my hand.
“Let me get you some tissues.” Jax ran into the bathroom, returning with the tissues. I blew my nose and thought my sinuses would explode.
I could barely see through my tears, my body began to shake, and I let out a moan. “Your mom’s going to hate me. Forever.”
Jax circled his arms around me, and I leaned into him. “Shush. It’s going to be okay. I love you. We’ll make everyone understand.”
A sob escaped my lips, my face against Jax’s wet T-shirt. “I hurt your mom. I didn’t mean to.” I looked up at Jax with sad eyes. “What are we going to do?”
Jax, in his unflustered way, said, “It’ll work out.”
I was suddenly filled with a deep weariness. I didn’t want to argue with Jax. As we stood in his living room that day, he kept telling me that everything would be okay, but I knew he was wrong. Jax told me over and over how much he loved me and that only made me feel worse. There was no way I’d ever make things right with Lydia and Troy.
Finally, I wiped my puffy eyes and said, “Jax, I need to be alone for a while.” I hung my head then looked him in the eye. “I’m going home. Please don’t come over.”
He didn’t argue with me. I brushed past him. I closed the door, walked down the steps, and when I looked over my shoulder, Jax was in the window, watching my every move, a look of profound love and awe in his eyes.
Pleasure Point: The Complete Series Page 23
