“Why won’t you let him?”
“It’s too dangerous! Anyway, he knows you’ll be here starting tomorrow.”
“And then, when are you going to tell him the rest of your news?”
“We’ll figure it out.”
“Who’s we?”
“I’ll figure it out, okay?” She sounded almost on the verge of tears. “You need to let me ease him in to this. I already told you. He’s a sensitive boy.”
It sounded to me like he was a sheltered boy.
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” she said.
“Right. I’ll be there with my backpack and my surfboard.”
“And Jax,” she said, her voice softening. “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
After we hung up, I collapsed back on the bed with a heavy sigh, opened my tide chart app, and checked the waves for the following day. First thing I needed to do before any of this started was surf.
I wanted to keep an open mind, but I had no idea whether this whole thing would work out. Eugene. I turned the name over and over in my mind with a chuckle. It was a dorky name, but Rosalyn must have loved it. Maybe she picked it out of one of those baby-name books. Rosalyn, Eugene, and me. Disbelief sliced through me hearing those names played out in my head. Mother, father, son.
Needing to maintain a connection with my real life, whatever that was, I called all the girls on my list and told them I’d be gone for longer than expected. I didn’t know how long, but I promised to contact them in the next couple of days. In my heart, I knew I’d have to quit the business and break up with Holly.
Next, I called Gary asking him to feed Blue-ee for a few more days.
Then, I called Butch.
“So, how’d it go?”
“Okay, I guess. Butch, she’s in deep. But she’s got this Trinity program in Tijuana she wants to try.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard of that. They have a pretty high success rate. When you meeting the kid?”
“Tomorrow.”
“You nervous?”
“Hell yes, I’m nervous.”
“Well, just make sure you get a surf in tomorrow morning. Checked the conditions, and it looks good.”
“You’re reading my mind.”
We talked for a few more minutes, and Butch finally hung up with a “Good luck.”
It was getting late, but I called Holly.
Holly
I woke up in a cold sweat to the sound of my phone. It was Jax. I grabbed the phone so fast that I nearly knocked the lamp off the nightstand.
“Hey, sweetheart.” His voice was low, husky, and freaking sexy. I popped into a sitting position. “What’re you doing?”
“Oh, nothing.” Just missing you like crazy.
Jax was silent a moment. “Did I wake you?”
I dragged a hand through my hair. “No. I mean, yes, I was trying to sleep.”
“Sorry. Should I call tomorrow?”
“No!” Calm down, Holly. “Let me turn on the light. Are you okay?”
There was a long silence, and then he said, “I’m okay. But you know the family friend I told you about? She’s not doing so well.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Are you ready for this? I just found out that she’s got breast cancer, and her doctor gave her a six month diagnosis.”
I swung my legs out of bed, staring at my wall. “That’s terrible!”
“I know, babe. Came as kind of a shock.”
Standing up, I said, “What can I do to help?”
“I wish there was something you could do. Wish there was something I could do,” he said. “But it’s not looking good. And she’s got a son—”
My hand flew up to my forehead. “Jax, I’m so sorry.”
His voice was hesitant. “So, what I’m going to do is … I’m staying at her place in Santa Cruz for the next couple of days.”
Why? “Why does she need you to stay there?”
He exhaled into the phone. “It’s just that she doesn’t have anybody, and we knew each other well, and she was friends with my mom and—”
“You mean she doesn’t have anyone else who can help out? What are you going to be doing?” I asked.
“Just … helping her with stuff like taking her to some doctor appointments and kind of catching up and … Holly, she’s going through a tough time.”
I sat down on the bed and sank against the pillows. “I understand,” I said. But I didn’t. “Jax, you never mentioned anything about this person. Are you guys close?”
“First time I’ve seen her in over a decade. But she’s been a close family friend.” He cleared his throat. “I need to keep her company, she doesn’t have much of a support system.”
I didn’t want to sound like a jealous girlfriend so instead of saying what I wanted to say, when will you be back in my bed, I twisted a strand of hair, pulled and said, “You take care of your friend. She’s lucky to have you.”
“Thanks, sweetheart.”
We talked for a few more minutes about ordinary stuff—my work, how the waves were in Santa Cruz—and finally hung up.
Jax had been gone for only a few days, and already my bed felt unbearably lonely and cold without him. Something in his voice was different. I supposed it was the shock of Butch and then this sick friend.
I punched in Stan’s number.
“Hey bud, what’s up?” he said.
Dinah jumped on the bed and licked my face. “Jax is staying in Santa Cruz a few more days.”
“So?”
“I miss him.”
“Oh, look who’s all of a sudden sentimental. Told you it could be this way. Why’s he staying?”
Matrix lumbered into the room, his stump of a tail wagging, and laid his head on the bed. I pet his wiry fur, and his brown eyes gazed at me with adoration. “He’s got an old friend who’s sick. She lives in Santa Cruz.”
“Who is he? Little Red Riding Hood?”
“Exactly. Why’s he have to watch over her?”
“Because he’s a good man. Much as I didn’t think this thing would work out, I know he makes you happy. You’ve been together for what, four months now? I say you support him. What’s wrong with his friend?”
Dinah jumped on the bed, her puppy breath in my face. “Breast cancer. I guess they gave her six months.”
Stan sighed. “Damn. Tough break. When’s he coming home?”
I pet Dinah and she rolled over on to her back. “A few days.”
“So why do you sound so down?”
Dinah wiggled and I rubbed her belly. “I just miss him is all.”
“Well, my friend, I would love to sit here and talk late into the night about how much you miss your hot surfer boyfriend, but I’ve got an early call. Talk to you tomorrow?”
“Fine.”
We hung up, and as I lay in bed that night with my puppies cuddling up to me, I thought, Is this really all I have? Two dogs, a job, and one best friend?
Jax
I wasn’t lying to Holly, but I wasn’t totally honest either. I wasn’t ready to hurt her, not yet.
The following morning, I surfed, ate a late breakfast, packed my backpack, loaded up the truck, and made the drive to Santa Cruz.
I was nervous about meeting Eugene. But I knew how to calm myself because I’d had so much experience with training my body to relax prior to big wave events. The trick was to breathe slowly, deeply, and stay centered.
Rosalyn wanted me to arrive at her place at one because Eugene would be home from school around two thirty. When I pulled up in front of the house, she sat on the front stoop with Leo in her lap. She smiled that gorgeous smile of hers and gave a little wave.
We walked into the house together, and she said, “You can put your stuff in my room. We’ve got two bathrooms, so you can share with me or Eugene …” She stood in the hallway, biting a nail, looking so pathetic that I yearned to hold and hug her.
After I set my backpack in her bedroom, a room fill
ed with her many crystals and one of those Lawrence-of-Arabia-style mosquito nets covering her bed, she poured glasses of iced tea, and we sat on the front stoop.
“Any new developments?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is, what else have you told Eugene?”
“Just what I told you last night. He knows you’ll be here when he gets home from school. Then we’ll all have dinner together and just talk and stuff.”
“How much have you told him about me, about my family?”
“I told him about what great friends we all were way back when, and I told him about …” She put her face in her hands. “He knows your parents were in a car crash and died.” She peered at me. “But I haven’t told him anything about Tyler.”
“And why not?”
“Because—” She took a sip of her drink. “Because he loves music too much. It would’ve led to questions about Love Bone.”
“What’s wrong with him knowing about Tyler’s band?”
“You’ll see when you meet him. He’s kind of obsessed with his guitar.”
He plays guitar?
“Jesus, Rosalyn, sounds like you’ve sheltered the poor kid. What other lies have you told him?”
“They’re not lies. I just … omitted a few things.”
“Yeah, I guess you did.” I kept my temper in check because I’d agreed to stay with Rosalyn, and I was meeting Eugene. “What do you plan on saying about my brother? You know it’s going to come up.”
She turned to me, her large brown eyes feverish. “Maybe you can help me tell him. We’ll just tell him that we haven’t been that close for a lot of years—”
“That part’s true.”
“—and that Tyler was never in contact with me and that … Oh, I don’t know, Jax.” She buried her face in her hands again. She looked up at me pleading. “Can’t you help me think of something to say?”
“Babe, you’re his mom. How about if you say what you just said. You and I haven’t been in contact for a long time.” I didn’t want to hammer home to Rosalyn at that particular moment what a mess this whole thing was because I felt sorry for her. So instead, I wimped out and went along with her way of thinking. We would just play it by ear.
As we sat on her front stoop, the cool ocean breeze tickling our skin, I picked up my phone and checked my tide chart application. “How ’bout this. How about if I grab my board. Been wanting to check out Pleasure Point ever since I got here. By the time I get back, Eugene should be home from school, right? That way we won’t both be sitting here waiting for him with worried looks on our faces.”
Her smile was timid, and she gave my arm a light squeeze. “Thanks, Jax. This is going to work out, right?”
“Right,” I said with more confidence than I felt. Then, I headed to my truck to wax up my board.
When I returned from surfing, I set my surfboard on the front porch and, through the screen door, said, “Knock, knock.”
“Come on in,” Rosalyn yelled from the kitchen. She hurried over to me. “He’s in his room. Do you want to take off your wetsuit first, or do you need to put your board away or … Oh, let me just introduce you two.” Rosalyn’s hands shook as she knocked on the bedroom door. It had a handmade poster board sign taped to it which read: No Girls Allowed, Enter Only If You Play the Guitar, What’s the Password? and Now Entering a Hazardous Zone. “Honey, Jax is here.”
The bedroom door creaked opened, and I found myself looking straight into Tyler’s green eyes.
It was as if a meteor struck the earth.
Without warning, I was sucked into a whirlwind of childhood memories: my brother, surfing, and music. I could hardly breathe.
Eugene looked up at me appraisingly.
“Sweetie, this is Jax, who I told you about. Say hello.”
He stuck one skinny arm out, hand outstretched. “Hey.”
I blinked. My body felt hot, and I hoped he wouldn’t notice the sweat on my palms. I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Mom, I’m gonna practice before dinner, ’kay?”
“Okay, but we’re having dinner at the regular time, so finish up your homework.”
“Can Nelson have dinner with us tonight?
“Not tonight, baby. We have company, but maybe tomorrow.”
And with that, the door closed.
When we went into the kitchen, I grabbed Rosalyn’s arm and spun her around to face me. “Jesus Christ, Roz, why didn’t you tell me he looked so much like Tyler?”
Her smile was radiant. “I told you you’d know he was related. When he was a baby, I couldn’t get over how much he looked like your brother. Still can’t. Maybe we do have a little piece of Tyler.”
Maybe we did. Not only did he have the same eyes, he also had the same hair color and lanky way about him that Tyler had when he was young. I heard the guitar playing from Eugene’s room and was transported back to when Tyler and I were young.
“I can’t get over it.” I felt like scooping Rosalyn up and celebrating, but any euphoria I felt was quickly replaced by anger as I thought about all the years I’d missed. I pushed those feelings down. If I was going to give this a chance, I had to remain calm. I took another one of my big wave preparation breaths.
Rosalyn gently touched my arm. “Are you okay?”
I gripped her arm. “I can’t get over this. It’s Tyler.” My heart broke with the loss of my brother.
Rosalyn smiled, her brown eyes smiling along with the rest of her face. “You are going to love Eugene.”
I helped Rosalyn prepare dinner. We fell into the easy routine we’d had in Point Loma where neither of us had to speak, we just worked together as a well-oiled machine.
When dinner was almost ready, Rosalyn yelled, “Eugene! Come set the table.” She grinned. “Trained him to be handy around the kitchen, and he’s pretty darn good. Now, if I can just get him to clean his room.”
Eugene emerged from his room, Leo trailing at his feet, and I had a chance to check him out. His blue jeans almost hung off his skinny frame, he wore a black Red Hot Chili Peppers T-shirt, and his dark hair hung in his face as he glanced shyly up at me. He set the table for three, helped his mom remove her vegetarian casserole from the oven, and filled glasses with water for everyone.
We sat at the table and Rosalyn said, a little too brightly, “Well, isn’t this nice? Eugene, honey, Jax and I haven’t seen each other since I lived in Southern California. Isn’t it great that he gets to visit?”
“Guess so.” He stabbed a cucumber slice with his fork.
Rosalyn shrugged, both palms upturned giving me a “help me out” look, and I said, “Your mom and I lived in Point Loma when I was a teenager. You know where Point Loma is?”
“Not really.”
“In fact,” I continued, “I was the one who found Leo out by the trash cans one night.” That got a sideways glance out of him. “I was emptying the trash for your mom one night and—”
“And Jax found little Leo who was just a baby with no mommy,” Rosalyn said. “Sweetie, Jax is a big wave surfer.”
“So you said.” He tore into a piece of whole wheat bread, his eyes downcast.
“And while he’s here, he’s going to surf at Pleasure Point. Maybe you can watch.”
Eugene looked me in the eye and said to his mom, “How long did you say he’s staying?”
“A few days, honey.”
Eugene went back to eating his dinner while Rosalyn looked at me helplessly.
I said, “Sounds like you play the guitar pretty good.”
“I’m okay, I guess.”
I said, “My brother played the guitar,” and Rosalyn shot me a look.
“Cool,” was all I got out of Eugene.
I tried not to stare at Eugene during dinner, but I couldn’t help myself. Now and then he’d catch me, and I’d force a smile while rubbing my hands against my pant legs. My son. I was actually sitting at a dinner table with my son. Periodically, he’d lean
back in his chair and tap out a tune on the edge of the table as though playing drums. Tyler used to do that. My brother always had music running through his head. Then, Eugene would take a sip of water and hum a tune to some song or another. His gaze met mine a couple of times, and he forced a crooked smile that reminded me so much of Tyler. When I smiled back, it felt like my face would crack. My son! Eugene was really and truly my son. There was no denying the family resemblance. I wanted to ask him a zillion questions. Who were his favorite bands? How did he become interested in music? Did he feel drawn to the ocean the way I always had? Was he always looking at things that happened in life as material for the next song he’d write the way Tyler had? How did he feel about having been conceived through a sperm donor clinic as his mother had told him? And most importantly, how would he react to the fact that his real father was sitting right next to him?
We somehow got through dinner, and finally Eugene said, “Mom, can I be excused?”
“Okay, sweetheart. But you get to bed early. You’ve got school tomorrow.”
Eugene slunk away, and the next thing I heard was his guitar.
I stared at his closed bedroom door, took a deep breath, and ran my hand through my hair. “I can’t get over how much he looks like my brother.” I turned to Rosalyn. “You think he likes me?” I wanted Eugene to like me more than I’d wanted anything in a long time.
“It was a start.” She picked up her napkin, putting it on her plate. “Help me clean up, will you, sweetheart?”
Sweetheart?
We cleaned up the kitchen then went out to the front porch where Rosalyn had a hanging bench swing set up next to her hummingbird feeder and potted plants. The night air was cool, and the sun was just setting, the sky alive with orange, red and purple.
Rosalyn went into the house and came back with her bong. “Light this for me, will you, babe?”
“You still smoking that stuff?” I asked as she handed me the lighter.
Pleasure Point: The Complete Series Page 46
