She began pulling out forms, I assumed for registration. “Will your five-year-old be attending school?”
“Yes, so she’ll be part-time in the morning and after school. Do you pick up from school, or will I have to arrange transportation?”
“We pick up from several schools. So, the twins will be with us all day.”
My collar started to get a little tight. Now comes the hard part, I thought to myself. She didn’t wait for my answer, and I did not cut her off to give it.
“Before we go further, let me take you on a tour,” she said. I followed behind her as we went from one schoolroom setting to another. The classes were small and structured. I saw an art class, reading circle, backyard play area, and a sleepy-eyed circle, complete with sleeping bags and pillows. They also had a kitchen staff to prepare the meals and snacks. In the back of the building was the nurse’s office, an isolation room, the director’s office, and a break room for the aides. There was another unmarked room that she did not show me.
“What’s this room?” I asked.
“The observation room,” she replied and continued walking past it. Feeling a little put out because she was withholding information, I dug deeper.
“Can I see it?” I wasn’t comfortable with the images that went through my mind when she mentioned an isolation room and an observation room.
“Currently the room is not in use and I don’t have keys for it. Let me see if the director’s busy. I’ll ask him to show it to you.” She led me back to the waiting area and indicated I should take a seat.
While I was waiting my mind began to conjure up what could be behind the locked door. Since this was the first time my children would be in day care, I was very apprehensive. I had seen enough stories of day care nightmares on television to last a lifetime. It would be an adjustment for all of us. Kayla was not used to playing with any children other than family members.
Since her siblings were younger, Kayla always got her way. The twins also hardly ever played with anyone else, so it would be new to them as well. Mental pictures of hard steel chairs with handcuffs strapped to them pranced through my head, and it took all my strength not to bolt out the door. I was so deep in thought that I did not hear the director talking to me until I noticed a set of leather loafers standing directly in front of me. I looked up to find another gift from God in the foine department.
“Hi, my name is Mr. Richmond, and I’m the director of this facility.”
At first glance he reminded me of Shemar Moore, but more mature. He was impeccably dressed in a gray linen suit and had on a black tie tinged in blue to bring out his royal blue shirt. His eyes were a piercing brown and he had a dimpled smile. He cleared his throat, and I felt stupid for getting caught gawking. He was a fine piece of leather and well put together.
Standing up, I dropped my purse, which I had been holding in my lap. Everything did not fall out of it; just the embarrassing stuff. My lipstick, an old tampon minus the protective wrapper, my birth control pills, and a crumpled condom all rolled in different directions. Dropping to my knees searching for my belongings, I was unmindful of the hard concrete floor as I scrambled to pick up the items. I was humiliated!
He helped me gather my items and I thanked God that he allowed me to scoop up the tampon myself. Way to go, Leah; that was a hell of a way to make a first impression. He was amused by my lack of composure and fought to hide the smile dancing around on the edge of his mouth. My cheeks flamed red. I noticed his extended hand and finally shook it. He told me to follow him and I gladly did so; admiring the view he afforded me. I was so caught up that I bumped into his broad back when he abruptly stopped.
This man had me so off kilter I would have eagerly signed my children up for death camp if he smiled at me. He walked past me and took a seat behind his desk. I sat in one of the two overstuffed burgundy chairs directly in front of his desk. His office was very nicely done in deep earth tones and the carpet was so plush that I wanted to take off my shoes and wiggle my toes in it. He was reading over my application while I continued to look around his office. My eyes locked on his long manicured fingers but stopped when I spotted the gold wedding band.
“Damn,” I muttered under my breath.
“Excuse me?” he inquired.
Scared that he may have heard me, I uttered the first thing that came to my mind. “Uh, I broke a nail,” I said, holding up a fingernail I had bitten down to a nub that morning. I quickly stuck it in my mouth as if it pained me. You are so stupid, I thought to myself. The other nine nails looked as bad as the one in my mouth. I decided I would get my nails done as soon as I left. My nails used to be my pride and joy, along with my hair, but these days I never took my hair out of a ponytail. I put both of my battered hands under my butt and sat on them, waiting for Mr. Richmond to finish reviewing my application.
“Well, Mrs. Simmons, it says you have three children to enroll in our program.”
“That is correct,” I said, trying to sound more confident than I really was.
“And you had the grand tour, I take it?” he inquired further.
“Yes, all but the locked room.”
“I see,” he said, frowning.
“You have to understand. My children have never been in a day care environment. In fact, they’ve never been around anyone else other than my family. I stayed home with my children but circumstances beyond my control are forcing me back into the work force.”
“Your oldest will be starting school this year?”
“Yes, she’s very excited about it,” I said, smiling when I thought about Kayla looking out the window at the big yellow bus that came to pick up the other children in the neighborhood.
“I’ll bet.” He cleared his throat before he continued. “Will she be riding the bus with the other school aged kids at the center or will you be dropping her off at school?”
“I’d like for her to ride the bus with the other children, if that is okay.”
“Sure, that would be fine. You also have a set of twins,” he said, looking back down to my paperwork. I did not want to discuss Mya just yet because I did not want to ruin my chances of getting Malik and Kayla in. If push came to shove, I was sure Momma would help me out with Mya, but only as a last resort.
“Malik is the oldest. He came out a full two minutes before Mya. He’s a bit of an introvert and likes quiet playing time. He’s really smart, too!”
“And Mya?”
“She’s a whole different matter altogether. I’ll be honest with you. She’ll tax your patience to the limits. I deal with her because she’s my little girl, but even though she’s difficult I don’t want her abused. I have to work, but I won’t tolerate any threat to my child’s well-being.”
“Then we’re on the same page,” he said, closing the folder that was on his desk. “Come with me,” he said, pausing to grab a set of keys from his center drawer. I followed him back down the same hallway leading to the locked door.
“We’re not using this room anymore, but it was designed with special needs children in mind.” He pushed open the heavy wooden door. The room was all white with cheerful decals of Disney characters all over the wall. It was a large airy space that could easily hold twenty children. Looking in from the hallway, I began to realize that this was more like a wing instead of a room.
“Why aren’t you using the space anymore?”
Mr. Richmond halted in his steps. He turned to face me. “Currently we don’t have any children with those specific needs.”
You do now, I thought to myself.
Tiny chairs circled miniature tables and stuffed animals were everywhere. A large room beside the play area was completely padded and there was what appeared to be an examination room with several cots. I was impressed, to say the least. I looked at him with questioning eyes.
“We cater to the needs of our children. Whatever the problem, we try to deal with it,” he responded. After wandering around for a few more minutes he led me back to his office.
I had so many questions, but I liked what I saw at the center.
“I must say that I’m impressed,” was all that I could mutter as I sank back down in my original chair opposite his desk.
“This has to be a comfortable fit for all of us as you transition yourself into the work force. Why don’t you bring the children over tomorrow for a visit? It’ll give them a chance to get used to us before you have to report to work,” he suggested.
“Wow, could I?” I asked.
“Can you make it around ten a.m.? All of the children will be settled into their routines, and we’ll be able to get acquainted with each other.”
“Wonderful,” I said, standing up and dumping my purse on the floor again. Not waiting for him to catch its contents, I extended my hand to him and he took it. After I released it, I gathered my belongings with the little pride I had left and tried to make a hasty exit.
“We’ll see you in the morning.” He nodded his head, barely able to keep in the laughter I saw in his eyes. I left the center mortified but excited at the same time. If I could have done a cartwheel without breaking my damn neck, I would have done two or three. Maybe I was no longer on God’s shit list. I was beginning to look forward to the tomorrows of my life instead of thinking about ending my todays.
I stopped at Wal-Mart before going home and purchased a few pairs of stockings and a couple of skirts to spruce up my wardrobe. I decided to go to the beauty shop to get my hair permed. To save money, I had been doing it myself, but I never could do it as well as a real stylist. I also treated myself to a full set of nails and a pedicure. When I was finished, I almost felt beautiful.
I arrived home feeling hopeful, but my mood was spoiled when I checked my messages.
SAMMIE
Jessie had left at least five messages on my answering machine at work and another ten at home. I was not trying to avoid the unavoidable, but I did not want to get into it with him at work, which pissed him off. I truly expected him to be at my front door when I pulled up, and he surprised me once again with his absence.
I had to pee badly and could not get the key in the lock quick enough. I barely made it to the bathroom, and I gratefully plopped down on the seat and allowed the hot stream to escape. I should have gone before I left work, but I was afraid they would ask me to work late if someone saw me.
I had only been working at Georgia Power for about two months, but I had made a name for myself as a competent secretary. I normally floated from desk to desk when the full-time secretaries took their vacations and spent the rest of my time in the word processing department. The department operated twenty-four hours a day and, as my reputation grew, it was getting harder and harder to get out of the office on time.
Since I was still tired from the night before, I needed to get home on time. So I packed up my things and headed out the door at five p.m. with the rest of the secretaries.
I went to collect my mail from the mailbox after dumping my belongings on the sofa in the living room. The mailbox was crammed full with sale circulars and other junk. I slipped on the slick surface of a postcard, which had dropped unnoticed on the floor.
I picked it up as I headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. The card was from my son, Tyson! My heart slammed against my chest and unwanted fear tore holes into my heart. Through the fear I read the message as tears of joy streamed down my face.
Mom just thought you’d like to know you’re a grandmother. Your granddaughter was born on August 5th, and she weighed in at a healthy eight pounds. She had a full head of black hair, but most of it is gone now. We decided to call her Nicole Ashley, and she’s beautiful; just like her mother. Both are doing well. If you’d like to see pictures, call me and I’ll send you some. Tyson
I could not breathe. I never expected to hear from Tyson again and couldn’t decide whether to dance or cry, so I did a little of both. I danced until I was dizzy, and when I was finished, I cried big gut-wrenching tears. The tears seemed to cleanse my soul of all the wrong I had done to my children. I wanted to tell everyone but, by the same token, I wanted to tell no one. I was so confused.
I reread the postcard and little things started to jump out at me. I looked at his opening line first, and it hurt me deeply. It had been so long since I heard the word Mom coming from the lips of my child that tears began again. I briefly thought of my daughter, Kendall, but her memory was too painful, so I moved on. I recalled how happy I was when I had Tyson. I would finally have someone to love me. I was only a kid myself when I had my children, but Momma never let me be a mother to them. I did not realize how wrong I was until it was too late, as I was ill-equipped to deal with children, and my mother never gave me the chance to grow into motherhood.
I looked at the front of the card, and there was a picture of Virginia Beach on it. Flipping the card back over I noticed there was no return address, but he had included his phone number. I had not seen Tyson since Kendall died, and I had practically forgotten what he looked like. My mother told me he was stationed in Virginia, but she led me to believe that his wife had just got pregnant. The card said that Nicole was born on August 5th, which would make her one month old.
The fact that he had waited a full month to tell me hit me hard, but I could not blame him. I was not a good mother to him and his sister, and I was ready to admit it. But, he had called me Mom, and that proved there was a chance he would allow me to make up for my mistakes. I reached for the phone to lay my heart on the line as it started to ring.
“Oh, now you want to answer the phone, bitch,” Jessie snarled. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with your black ass all day!”
“Uh, I know, but I was so busy at work I couldn’t talk to you. I just got here, and I was about to call you,” I lied.
“No, you weren’t. I seen you when you walked in, and you’ve been there for thirty minutes!” Damn, busted again!
“Well what happened was,” I started off, blabbering like an idiot.
“Save it! Open the damn door!” he hollered. I knew he was not playing this time, so I hid my postcard under the sofa cushions and opened the door. He was leaning against the frame of the door with this awful leer on his face.
I remembered when he used to be so handsome, but time and the ravages of drugs and prison had done a number on him. I looked away from his face to my feet. Most days he did not want me looking him in the eyes anyway, and I didn’t feel like getting sucker punched that day. I stepped back to allow him to enter. He sauntered in and plopped down on my sofa, putting his feet up on my glass coffee table. I closed the door, leaning back against it while praying for the strength to make it through this session. My heart was heavy, and I didn’t have time for Jessie’s shit.
Knowing he would not leave until he got what he came for, I started unbuttoning my shirt. I said a prayer that he would cum and go quickly.
“I didn’t tell you to do that!” he barked, and my hands froze. I didn’t want to piss him off, or he would be there for hours and I would not get the chance to call Tyson.
“What do you want, baby?” I asked, standing with my hands down at my side.
He slowly started to unzip his pants. This was a good sign because I could suck the juice out of his stick in a matter of minutes. Jessie could never last long when I put my full lips around his dick. I grabbed a few scattered pillows off the couch and put them on the floor. Jessie scooted up to make his dick more accessible. I glanced up and his eyes were closed in anticipation.
He smelled faintly of urine, but I blocked it out. Closing my eyes, I ran my tongue up from the base of his penis to the very tip. I ran it down to his full sack, and took each one in my mouth while gently squeezing the tip of his penis with my fingers. When I finished washing his balls I returned my attention to his dick. It was throbbing, and I quickly put the entire thing in my mouth. I worked hard, imagining that I was sucking a blow pop, working my way to the center. I took less than ten deep-throated sucks to get to the center, and he was finished.
&nb
sp; He roughly pushed me back from his flaccid dick. I was not surprised by his rough treatment. We had been down this road before. He felt weak when he came, and he detested weakness in himself and in those around him. I would have paid him money to know what went through his mind. Without my asking, he threw two hundred dollars at my head and zipped up his pants.
“See you Wednesday. And don’t make me wait!” He snatched open the door and slammed it shut. I got up off the floor and lay facedown on the sofa. Humbled, I got to my knees and prayed to God for guidance. I wanted to take the money and burn it, but I was not a damn fool. I had earned it! I do not remember how long I stayed on my knees, but when I finally stood up, it was dark outside, and I had lost circulation in my legs. I stumbled to the door and locked it. I wanted to call Tyson, but I felt unclean, so I decided to take a shower first. Wiping my foul-tasting mouth with the sleeve of my shirt, I headed to the bathroom. I turned the shower on to get it as hot as I could stand it; even though it was going to wreak havoc on my hair. Thank God for braids.
I peeled off my clothes and left them lying in a pile in the middle of the floor as I stepped into the streaming water. Water flowed through my micro braids as long-ago memories resurfaced. Cleansing my soul, I forgave myself for Marie’s death. She was my best friend, shot and killed by her boyfriend, and she had died in my arms. I forgave myself for my daughter, Kendall’s death, when she had used my pills to kill herself. I even accepted my role in the demise of my relationship with Tyson.
It was a long shower as I tried to wash away all the wrong I had done. I accepted the pain I had inflicted on my friends and family, and prayed like never before. I prayed that God would give me the strength to begin again, and this time on the right foot. Leaving the shower, I felt rejuvenated and hopeful.
After oiling my damp body, I put on my robe. I went into the kitchen to find something to eat, but my stomach was all in knots. I would find no peace until I had actually talked to Tyson. I pulled the phone close to the sofa and curled my long legs underneath me, taking in deep breaths to calm my nerves. I fished out the postcard I had hidden, quickly punching in the number before I chickened out. It rang four times before Ashley picked up the phone.
Lawd, Mo' Drama Page 6
