by RJ Crayton
“I drove the long way around to the house, figuring I might not get out that much afterwards, when I saw Amadu on the dock. He was barefoot, and wearing overalls and a straw hat. I could see enough of him to know he was young, and he reminded me a little bit of Lijah, so I pulled over and asked if he was alright. He was surprised, but he told me he was fine and that he lived around the bend. He told me the house number, and I made a mental note of it. A few days later, I decided to walk over.
“There wasn’t much else to do here. There’s a TV, but it doesn’t get any stations anymore. When I knocked on his door, he was there, and he was fairly bored, too. It’s easy to go stir crazy when you’re alone so much. Anyway, Amadu and I talked, and he told me he was immune. I didn’t quite trust him yet, but I did think he was a nice young man. I went over a couple more times and then, one day, I asked if he wanted to come with me to get gas. He agreed and we drove up Route 150 until we hit town. We stopped at Casey’s, bought gas for the car, and filled a couple of five-gallon gasoline drums, in case we needed gasoline later and the stations were closed. I had taken him to his place, just to drop him off, and he invited me in for a minute. We left the car parked in the driveway, which you could see from the house. After we were inside, I happened to look out and see men trying to steal the car. They had a slim jim and were trying to get the door open. There was a pickup truck parked on the street, and we think maybe they followed us from the gas station. Amadu grabbed his shotgun and managed to scare them off with a warning shot. That made me realize just how vulnerable I was being out here alone. I asked Amadu if he wanted to move in here with me. There would be two of us, and, the people who’d followed us didn’t know about this house. They only knew about Amadu’s. He agreed, and we’ve been living here together ever since. And truthfully, I got the better deal. He’s taught me way more than I ever knew about survival.”
Elaan sighed and looked around the house. It felt big, and it would probably be scary living here alone. Especially after guys tried to steal her car. She was softening a bit toward her mother, after hearing the story. Maybe shacking up with the stud wasn’t so unreasonable after all. “Where is he?”
“I think he’s trying to give us some privacy, and let us catch up. I believe he’s in his room.”
Elaan looked down the hallway. She didn’t see him emerge.
“So,” her mother said, getting Elaan’s attention. “Why did you guys leave the safety of the scientist protection unit?”
“Because it wasn’t safe anymore,” Elaan said, grimacing at the memory. “They’d found out about Josh and Lijah and wanted them at Facility One.”
Her mother’s eyes widened and she leaned forward. “How did they find out?”
Elaan shook her head. “I don’t know. We just knew that they had. One of the generals received orders to take Lijah and Josh there. And he was supposed to take me somewhere, too. Somewhere in Virginia where they experiment on immunes. We only found out because the general’s wife gave us a heads-up. If we hadn’t left, they would’ve taken us the next day.”
Shonda bit her lip, took a deep breath, and then steadied herself as she looked at Elaan, then Josh, then back to her daughter. “If the three of you left together, where is Lijah?”
Chapter 25
Elaan stared at her mother, her stomach clenching as her thoughts turned to her brother standing in the boxcar holding a gun to Willie. Lijah had told her to run, to save herself, and now he was…? God, where was he?
She closed her eyes, unable to look at her mother. A hand began rubbing her back gently and she heard Josh’s voice as he scooted closer to her. He spoke softly but clearly as he explained how they’d left the complex, how Lijah had thought it was a good idea to catch the train, their run-in with Willie, how Elaan had paid with her mother’s ring rather than kowtowing to Willie’s demands for “companionship.” And then, Josh told of their departure from the train, how Lijah had stayed behind to make sure that Willie didn’t alert authorities.
When Josh finished, there was silence. An unsettling silence that made Elaan fear the sound that might break it. Would it be anger? Anger at Elaan for forcing Lijah to make such a choice? Anger at Willie, the government, the situation? Or just grief? Lijah was gone, and they knew nothing more. If Willie had somehow regained the upper hand, what would he have done with Lijah? Probably shot him and dumped him off the train. Her brother’s corpse could be rotting near the tracks somewhere, being picked apart by the vultures or eaten by God knew what, like those people they’d taken the bike from. If he were dead, killed by Willie, they’d never really know Lijah’s fate. And something about that thought made Elaan feel as if she were drowning. As if all the air were being sucked from her lungs.
She didn’t want Lijah to be dead. Not because he’d wanted to protect her. She was crying now. She could feel the tears sliding down her cheeks, and she closed her eyes and wiped away the tears.
“Elaan,” she heard her mother say, as the hand on her back slid away. She opened her eyes in time to see her mother crouching before her. From the corner of her eye, she saw Josh had moved to the opposite side of the sofa, his eyes fixed on her mother.
She looked down at the brown face in front of her. Same kind brown eyes that had always greeted her in her times of need. “Baby,” her mother said. “It’s alright. Lijah’s going to be alright. Don’t cry.”
Elaan shook her head. “Mom,” she said, her voice breaking. “You don’t know that. You don’t know what happened to Lijah. And if it’s anything bad, it’ll be my fault.”
Her mother set a hand on Elaan’s shoulder and stroked gently. “No, it will only be the fault of that awful man on the train. He’s the only one to blame. Or if you don’t want to blame him, blame me. Blame me and your father. Blame us for teaching Lijah that he should protect his baby sister. He did what was right, Elaan. He did what was important, and I know your brother. He’s fine. I can feel it, right here.”
Shonda touched her chest. Her mother could feel that Lijah wasn’t dead. It seemed stupid, yet Elaan was heartened by it. She stared at her mother, at that twinkle in her eyes, at the line of her nose, at the set of her lips, firm and reassuring, and could tell her mother meant what she said. She really believed Lijah was fine. Her mother’s confidence had the effect it often did on Elaan. It made her feel better. It made her feel that maybe her mother was right. That Lijah had managed Willie somehow, that everything would be OK. Only, if that was true….
“But he isn’t here,” Elaan pointed out. “Wouldn’t he be here if he were alright?”
The corners of her mother’s mouth turned downward, as if she’d intended to frown, but managed to stop herself. Shonda turned her head and looked toward the window, then back at Elaan. “There are a lot of reasonable explanations for why he’s not here that don’t involve him being dead,” her mother said. “The first one being that you two had a bike. That had to make your trip quicker.”
Despite its obviousness, Elaan hadn’t thought of that. Her mother was right. The bike had cut their travel time by several days.
“Also, he may have chosen not to come,” she said. “Josh was pretty nice about how he said it, but he indicated that Lijah only promised to get you here. That he really wouldn’t come here except to bring you. Perhaps he just figured Josh would get you here, so he didn’t need to bother. He was angry with me.”
Elaan watched her mother for any clues about what had happened between her and Lijah. Yes, he knew she was a carrier, and he’d taken the vaccine because he thought she’d died, but his anger toward her seemed so much more personal than that. Shonda furrowed her brow, her teeth nipping her bottom lip. The anguish in her eyes indicated her mother was deeply troubled by Lijah’s feelings toward her.
“Why was he mad at you, Mom?” Elaan, asked, her tone even, but still firm enough to convey she expected a response.
Her mother snapped out of her moment of self-pity and looked at her daughter with fresher eyes. She opened her mout
h to speak but then turned to look at Josh. “It’s not important,” she said.
“Yes it is,” Elaan countered. “I mean, what would cause him to be so angry that he’d let us think he’d died, rather than come here and tell us he was OK?”
Her mother looked at Josh again. “Maybe he’s just worried I’ll make him a carrier, like me. It’s very unlikely, but look at your friend. He’s still hesitant. Lijah might not want to come at all.”
“But that’s not what you said, Mom,” she interrupted again. “You said he was angry with you. Why?”
Her mother’s eyes darted to Josh and then back at Elaan. She paused a moment and said, “Because he blames me for not telling him that I was alive, for him not knowing that he was in quarantine more for show than anything else. The last time we talked, it wasn’t good. He was so angry at me. And rightly so. I should’ve trusted you. Both of you. And even though I knew I had caused this for Lijah, it didn’t occur to me that my lie would hurt you, too. Because you were immune, I thought you were going to be fine. Yet, they only know you’re immune because your father had you tested. He had you tested because of me, and now they want to hurt you because you’re immune. All roads lead back to me and my lies.”
Shonda rubbed her forehead and sighed. Elaan had never really seen her mother like this. Yes, she’d made mistakes before, but she’d always had this attitude of, “I messed up. I’m sorry. Let’s move on. Let’s fix it.” Now, she didn’t look like she wanted to move on. She looked like she was defeated by her mistakes, like she didn’t have the energy to fix it.
Elaan, at least part of her, wanted to put a hand on her mother’s shoulder and tell her it would be alright, that things weren’t as bad as they seemed. Yet, none of that was true. Things were bad. Lijah was missing, and her mother’s lies had cost them all so much.
Her mother stood back up, took a deep breath, and then smiled at Elaan. “You know what,” she said. “Don’t worry about me or Lijah. I’m just really glad you’re here.”
Elaan nodded, realizing that even though there was anger simmering at the surface, she was glad, too. Everything else aside, she had missed her mother. A month ago. Hell, a week ago, she would have paid any price to have her mother sitting this close to her, alive and healthy. She had her wish, and now she wasn’t even appreciating it. “I’m glad I’m here, too, Mom.”
Shonda reached out and hugged Elaan, the embrace feeling familiar and warm. It was like being home again. She settled in, enjoying the feel of her mother’s arms, even though they were thinner than they had been before. And despite everything else, her mother still seemed to smell the same: rough, yet mellow with a hint of sweetness.
They stayed in their embrace another moment, then released each other.
“You guys are probably tired and hungry,” Shonda said, standing up. “There’s some food I can get you, or you can take a nap. There are three bedrooms, so Elaan, it probably makes the most sense for us to double up in the biggest room. Josh, you can have the third bedroom. It’s got bunk beds. When Lijah comes, you two can share.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Woodson,” Josh said.
Shonda smiled at them both. “Hungry? I can make you something?”
“Mom,” Elaan said. “I’m not that tired, and Josh and I ate already. I thought maybe we could just sit for a minute.”
“Sure,” Shonda said, sitting back down. “Sure.”
Chapter 26
Elaan and Josh had scooted together on the sofa, though they didn’t say much. Shonda had sat with them for a few minutes, but then insisted they eat. She’d gone to the kitchen and was futzing around. She’d explained that they were fortunate to still have electricity. They were on the same power grid as a nearby military institution, as well as a prison. The government had worked hard to ensure that the base and prison had electricity.
“Though, there was a rumor that they starved all the prisoners to death,” her mother said in a hushed tone as she poured water into a pot. “I heard that more than a month ago. I haven’t been out since then to find out more. Not to mention, people aren’t the chattiest with strangers. Everyone’s just really weary of the virus.”
Shonda sat down. “The lentils are in the water cooking. I boil the water first. There’s no way to know if the water treatment plant is working properly. There’s no indication the water’s bad, but I still boil it first, just in case. There’s drinking water in a glass flask in the refrigerator. It’s been boiled and cooled.”
Elaan nodded. “So what happened a month ago?” she asked. “Lee, the guy we stayed with last night, alluded to it. There seems to have been a shift then. A shift from people to nobody.”
Shonda knitted her brow. “I know what he’s talking about. It was clear and obvious that there was a change, but I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what caused it. I only know that we lost our internet last month. Before that, I could communicate with your father. He’d tell me how you were, how Lijah was, send me his data. I could read news stories on the sites that were still around. There was the Martial Law, there was increasing sickness. Increasing death. Everything was bad news. And then one day, we couldn’t log on. Things just seemed to cease.”
“And you don’t know why?”
Her mother shook her head. “No,” she admitted. “At first I just took it at face value. I thought the service provider we were using had maintenance problems, but no one to fix them. I figured it was just a simple problem related to our company. But then, when we went out, there were fewer and fewer people. Everything seemed to change. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why that was, but it seemed weird. And now, you come here and tell me that the compound stopped getting food deliveries a month ago. The man you stayed with said there was a change, too. I wish I knew what it was. I wish I knew what happened.”
Shonda’s eyes had a far-off look, like she was thinking. She’d bitten her lip and was deep in concentration on some idea, Elaan could tell. It always seemed best to let her be, when she was like that. Elaan was silent for a moment, but curiosity got the better of her. “So do you have a theory?”
Her mother shrugged. “Nothing particularly feasible.”
Elaan nodded, and Josh went to the restroom. Once he was out of earshot, Shonda leaned in and said, “So, your father mentioned Josh in his earlier emails. He said that Lijah and Josh were friends. I didn’t know that you knew him well.”
Elaan wondered about Lijah’s feelings for Josh. About how her father had perceived their relationship. She wasn’t sure what her mother was getting at. “Josh was Lijah’s friend first, but he and I have become friends, too.”
Her mother nodded, though she seemed to be scrutinizing everything about Elaan’s expression. “He was an OK person to travel with? He didn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, did he?”
Elaan felt herself blush. “Mom, Josh didn’t do anything to me, OK? He’s really nice, but I don’t want to talk about me and Josh, alright?”
Her mother took in a short breath and narrowed her eyes. “You and Josh? You and he are together?”
They heard the toilet flush, so Elaan looked down the hallway. Saved by the flush. She wasn’t going to answer her mother’s question, and she knew her mother wouldn’t press her on it with Josh around. A moment later, Josh was seated next to Elaan, fairly close, and Shonda watched them with new interest.
Shonda struck up a conversation with Josh, managing to talk about subjects that weren’t touchy, yet still being engaging and friendly. It was an art she’d developed being a college professor. When she was younger, Elaan had thought all parents were chatty and conversant with friends who came over. But, as she grew older, she learned it wasn’t the case. Or perhaps Shonda had a way of making her friends enjoy the conversation, rather than feeling put upon or obligated.
“I was so sorry to hear about your mother’s passing,” Shonda said. “I only met her a couple of times, but she was a really great lady.”
Josh nodded, and muttered th
anks, but Elaan was intrigued. She had no idea her mother knew Josh’s mother. She hadn’t really thought about it before, but she suddenly wanted to know everything.
“I didn’t know you knew her,” Elaan said.
Her mother smiled, nodded. “Yes, Jane and I met when your father started the project. You know, he and Kingston were on the original Helnoan task force, prior to it being airborne. So, we all had dinner, at Zaika in Arlington. It was me and your father and Kingston and Jane. She and I swapped numbers so we’d have somebody to talk to about how much our husbands worked. Well, ostensibly, that’s what we exchanged numbers for, but we didn’t really end up chatting much. We both were busy enough in our own lives that we didn’t have time to commiserate. And then, in the end, the way she died... ” Shonda shook her head at the memory, as if it was horrifying.
Elaan looked at her mother curiously. Then she turned to Josh, who seemed to be staring at her mother, too. “Yes, the virus is an awful way to die,” Elaan said tentatively.
Shonda looked at Elaan, then at Josh. Her mother and Josh appeared to have some secret communication going on. Their eyes were saying something to each other and Elaan wasn’t privy to it. “What’s going on?” Elaan asked.
Josh eyed Shonda with a modicum of distrust and asked, “Do you know?”
“About how she got the virus?” Shonda asked.
Josh grimaced, then nodded.
Shonda nodded in response.
Elaan looked at her mother, then Josh. His face paled and he frowned. He was clearly unhappy, and Elaan didn’t want to make him more upset, but she also wanted answers. She turned to her mother. “How did Josh’s mother get the virus?”
Shonda watched Josh, assessing his demeanor, and then turned to her daughter. “You know, it’s not important how his mother died,” she said softly. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. It wasn’t my place.”
