by Chloe Walsh
INEVITABLE
A Carter Kids Novel - Book 5
CHLOE WALSH
Inevitable,
Carter Kids #5,
First published, October 2017
All rights reserved. ©
Cover photo licensed from Shutterstock Inc.
Cover designed by Red Rebel Clover.
Edited by Aleesha Davis.
Formatted by Leigh Stone
The right of Chloe Walsh to be identified as the Author of the work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright and Related Rights Act 2000.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system – without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form or binding or cover than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Contents
Disclaimer:
Author's Note:
Preface
Recap
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Other Books by Chloe Walsh:
Acknowledgments
Playlist for Hope:
Playlist for Hunter (Lucky)
Playlist for Jordan
About the Author
Disclaimer:
This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
The author acknowledges all songs titles, song lyrics, film titles, film characters, trademarked statuses, brands, mentioned in this book are the property of, and belong to, their respective owners. The publication/ use of these trademarks is not authorized/ associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Chloe Walsh is in no way affiliated with any of the brands, songs, musicians or artists mentioned in this book.
All rights reserved ©
Author's Note:
This was, hands down, the hardest and most morally challenging book I have ever written. I tried to put it off for as long as humanly possible – hello, it was supposed to come out back in 2015. I came so close on many occasions to throwing in the towel and scrapping the story. Some people will be thrilled with the outcome, and some will be livid. All I can say is I followed Hope's heart. This is her story and I had to do what her character screamed out for me to do. So, thank you so much for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy the story.
Lots of love always, Chloe
Note: Inevitable is a full-length novel and the fifth book of a continuous series. Treacherous, Always, Thorn & Torment will need to be read first in order to fully understand and grasp the concept of the story. It has a three-way POV and contains topics of a mature and sensitive theme, and is advised for an audience of eighteen and over. For full enjoyment of these books, it is recommended you read the Broken Series before you read the Carter Kids Series.
And finally,
Welcome to Hope Carter's story.
I hope you enjoy it.
For Tracy,
because you're the only person who could put up with my crazy ass for sixteen years and love me for it.
That day in the school hall in first year, when I walked over and asked you to be my friend was one of my best ideas.
Thank you for the lifelong friendship.
I'll love you forever.
If two people are truly meant to be together,
eventually they will find their way back to each other's arms.
It is a prerequisite of love.
It is inevitable…
Right?
– Hope Carter, The Carter Kids
Recap
HOPE
February
I couldn't remember the last time I wanted my dad.
It must have been years, but sitting here, opposite the man who'd broken my heart repeatedly, I really wanted my dad. I needed his strong arms around me. Telling me that everything would be okay. Promising to make things right for me. But instead, all I had was the source of my pain.
I couldn't figure Jordan Porter out.
Why he'd come here or why he hadn't left already.
It didn't make sense.
He'd run all too quickly out of my life many years ago, and now he wouldn't go.
"Are we going to talk about anything important?" I asked when Jordan attempted to bring up the past for what had to be the tenth time. "Because our past is a hard limit for me, Jordan."
"There's no shame in loving me, Hope," Jordan whispered and I balked.
Oh no he didn’t…
"No shame in loving you?" I shook my head in disgust. "You married me and then you abandoned me!"
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. "I didn't do it on purpose."
"But you still did it. On purpose or not. You still broke my world. You self-destructed and you took me down with you," I hissed. "I think that's pretty damn shameful."
The mixed signals he was sending me weren't doing my heart any good. I was up in a heap trying to figure out what he wanted from me. He was gone for so many years that I'd learned how to cope. How to adjust to life without him, but he was back now. What the hell was I supposed to do with these feelings?
It wasn't as if I'd gotten over him.
We'd been so young. I'd fallen so hard for him. My feelings hadn't changed. I was broken inside because I seemed to be solely programmed to love Jordan Porter. But I knew what I needed to do. I needed to make him go away. For the sake of my sanity, I had to break free from the chains he had wrapped
around my heart.
"You were always with me!" Jordan roared, chest heaving as he finally rid himself of that infuriating cool demeanor. Standing up, he stalked over to the living room window and looked out. "Just because I wasn't with you in the flesh, doesn't mean you stopped being the pivotal fucking element of my world."
"Well that's too damn bad," I screamed. Standing up, I kicked the coffee table, my temper out of control. "Because I signed your papers. I've suffered enough and I'm tired, Jordan." Looking him dead in the eye, I said, "So do me a kindness and walk away from me because I'm not willing to put myself through another round with you. I always lose and it's too hard."
"I am leaving, Hope," he replied, eyes locked on my face. "I don’t have a choice."
"Why am I not surprised to hear you say those words?" I squeezed out, feeling like the air had been dragged clean out of my lungs. Blinking rapidly, I took several steps backwards. "Do you enjoy this?" I gestured to myself. "Do you enjoy hurting me?"
Overflowing with unrecognizable emotion, I stalked towards him, and unlike every other time, he didn’t shy away from me. "Why'd you come back here, Jordan?" I demanded. Curling my fingers in the front of his shirt, I resisted the urge to thump him, letting out a harsh cry instead "I mean, why bother coming back at all if you're leaving again, huh?"
"I came back because I realized I'd left something behind," he told me, voice gruff and thick.
He stepped closer to me and I shivered.
Achingly slowly, he placed his hands on my waist and dropped his brow to rest on mine. "Something I've spent a very long time looking for."
"What?"
"You." His hands circled my wrists. "I've been searching for hope."
"No!" I shook my head, rejecting his cruel words and torturous promises. "You don’t mean that."
"I do," he rasped, claiming the space I'd put between us. "I mean it so much I want to carve it on my body."
"You don’t." Tears filled my eyes. "You can't." I looked around aimlessly and shrugged my shoulders. "You left me."
"And I spent every waking moment regretting that," he choked out. He reached out and cupped my face with his hands. Immediately, I clenched my eyes shut, desperate to block this out.
"Look at me." When I refused, he shook me gently. "Hope, look at me."
Slowly, I opened my eyes and looked into his.
"I am so sorry," he whispered. "For lying to you and leaving you." He exhaled a shaky breath. "I swear to you, everything I've done has been for you." His hands moved to knot in my hair. "I know I don’t deserve you, but that doesn’t change the fact that I'm in love with you. I want you, Hope, and I'm too fucking weak to walk away again. So, I'm going to ask you the impossible." He pressed his brow to mine. "Come away with me, Hope Carter."
"You can't just say that and expect me to be okay with it, Jordan," I sobbed brokenly. "You can't just barge your way back in my life and ask me to go with you! I've risked it all for you before and look where it got me."
"I know I've fucked up," he countered hoarsely. "I know I've hurt you and screwed everything up. But I need to be honest with you, Hope –" His voice broke off and it took him a moment to continue. "If I don’t do it now, I'll never do it, and I can't fucking leave again with you believing that you're not the most important person in my life. Because you are. You always were and you always will be."
"Then why did you do all of this to me?" I sobbed. My hands reached up and cupped his face of their own accord. "Why did you break me?"
"I have a lot to explain," he whispered. "I know that."
"If I go with you," I said in a shaky voice – weighing up my options. "I want full disclosure."
Jordan cocked a brow and I stared hard back at him.
"You won't ever look at me the same," he replied.
I shook my head. "I don’t care. I want to know."
"You will care," he muttered.
Taking a step back from me, Jordan unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves.
"What the hell is that?" My voice was barely more than a soft cry as I stared at the insides of his wrists. I could hardly breathe. I wasn't sure why I was asking Jordan to explain something that I clearly already knew, only that I needed to hear it from his mouth.
"You know what that is," he choked out, green eyes locked on my face, imploring me not to pry.
Stepping closer, I took his left hand in mine and carefully rolled the sleeve up to his elbows. "These cuts?" My eyes were locked on the ugly crisscross welts on the inside of his wrists.
"Self-inflicted."
"Why?"
Jordan sighed. "Because sometimes the physical pain is easier to deal with than the emotional pain."
My fingers trailed over the scars on his wrists. I touched the lines of his marred flesh. The purple swell of his bruised and battered veins. The marks on his veins caused a tremor of unease to roll through me.
This was evidence of his lifelong pain.
"When did all of this start?" I asked, not trusting myself to say any more and scare him back into that shell he loved to hide in.
"Not long after I left The Hill," he replied. "I was…struggling with some stuff." Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "I wanted to forget. It started off with alcohol and a little weed." He laughed harshly. "But I obviously have a lot of Derek in me because it wasn't long until I was out of control."
"Out of control," I repeated numbly.
My world felt like it had been pulled out from under my feet.
"Heroin, Hope," Jordan explained, tone flat and cold. "You think I fucked you over by leaving, but I was toxic. I left to protect you from my bullshit."
"Bullshit?" I shook my head in confusion. "You're no druggie, Jordan."
"Aren't I?" he countered. "Because I have a file as long as your arm saying otherwise."
"I can't believe this," I whispered, struggling to take it all in.
"She was my sponsor," Jordan whispered, finally breaking the horrible silence that had been suffocating us.
I looked up at him. "Annabelle?"
Jordan nodded. "I never slept with her."
Now I was the one to recoil. "You're lying." He had to be. She was his fiancée.
"I'm not lying to you," he countered, stepping closer. "The only woman I've ever been with is you."
"How?"
"How?" he shook his head in confusion "What do you mean how?"
"Sex, Jordan," I spat. "Are you honestly trying to make me believe that you haven't slept with that woman?"
"You gave me everything I ever needed," he growled, sounding oddly offended. "Why would I be with her for sex?"
"Because you're a man," I hissed, pressing my fingers to my temples. This was too much to take. "So why were you engaged to her?"
"Because she needed me."
"I needed you."
"I know, Hope. God, I know. But Annabelle…. I helped her out of a hole with an abusive ex by pretending to be her fiancé and she helped me out of a hole with….
"Me," I deadpanned. "Go on. Finish your sentence."
"I needed you to move on," he choked out. "It was a horrible fucking lie, but one I thought you needed to hear."
"Why?" I demanded. "And why the hell would you put that crap in your body?"
"Because I wanted to forget and I didn't care if I killed myself in the process," he replied honestly. "In fact, I was sort of banking on it."
"That's what I don't understand," I admitted, feeling torn between my emotions.
One part of me wanted to throw my arms around this man and comfort him through his pain.
The other part of me wanted to slap him silly.
"You don't need to understand," he whispered. "Just know that I did you a favor by leaving."
"No," I hissed, shaking my head. "You don't get to call the shots and leave me hanging like this." I tightened my ponytail and struggled to reign in my emotions. "You ruined me. I had to live these past seven years not knowing what I'd done wr
ong. You broke me so bad. And no amount of success or money could fill the void you left inside of me. You took my heart away, Jordan. I can't go on not knowing why. It hurts too much."
"I was going down, Hope," he hissed. "I made a decision not to take you down with me."
"Liar."
"I'm not lying to you," he ground out through clenched teeth.
"You've been walking around pretending I'm a freaking stranger, Jordan!" Every time I looked at his stupid, beautiful face, another smidgen of my dignity slipped away, fueling my rage, and igniting my wrath. "Tell me why you left me that night. Tell me or I'll walk. I swear to god I will walk away and never come back!"
"Because I was raped, okay!" The words tore from his chest, bringing with them an onslaught of emotion. "I was fucking raped and I couldn't bear to look you in the eye afterwards!"
My hands shot to my mouth. "Jordan…"
"My stepfather raped me, Hope. Over and over. For days. He tied me to the bed and the bastard raped me with his body. He raped me with…Fuck, I can't even say it…" Pulling on his hair, Jordan backed away from me, chest heaving. He looked like he was struggling to breathe. "And when he was finished, he left me there." He dropped his head in shame. A sob tore from his throat when he said, "By the time Derek found me, I had almost bled out."
I couldn't hold back the scream that ripped from my throat.
This was a nightmare.
I was having a nightmare and I so desperately needed to wake up…
"Afterwards, I wanted to die." Jordan continued to talk, filling me in on a lifetime of painful memories. "I wanted to be fucking dead, Hope."
Meanwhile, I sank to the floor and wept.
"I left you because I loved you, not because I didn't!"
"I could have helped you…" I began to say but he cut me off.
"How, Hope?" Jordan demanded. "How could you have possibly helped me?"
"I…" I felt sick. I didn't know what to do or say. "I'm so sorry."
"That day I left you?" Jordan sank down on the floor beside me. "Derek took me to a facility that day." Wrapping his arms around his legs, he hung his head. "I stayed there for eight months."
