by Chloe Walsh
"Did you seriously just lick my hand?" I gasped as shock encompassed my features and I snatched my hand away from his face.
"Would you prefer I lick you elsewhere?" he shot back, unashamed or embarrassed. "Because I'm totally okay with that."
"You're a terrible friend," I gasped, slapping his chest.
"I'm the best possible version of terrible," he countered with a devilish wink.
My mouth fell open and I could do nothing but gape at him, while my heart raced wildly in my chest.
He was flirting with me and being completely shameless about it, too. He didn’t care. Not one bit. I wasn’t sure if it made me mad or turned me on. either way it was working. He was getting a reaction out of me. That was his intention.
What was he trying to do to me?
I was rooted to Jordan like the roots of a great oak tree, but then there was Hunter, pulling me away from everything I had ever known. Secretly, and to my deepest chagrin, I wanted to be pulled. He was wild and unattainable and charismatic. Everything I never knew I wanted was inside this man. Something inside of him sang to the deepest part of my soul. It was a call I couldn’t resist or deny.
"Don’t lick me again. Okay?" was all I could come up with. Lame.
"Are you sure?" Hunter shot back teasingly. "You'd be amazed at how good I could make you feel by licking you." He waggled his brows. "Over and over again."
"Oh, please," I laughed, rolling my eyes at his comment. "What bullshit."
"You don’t believe me?" he asked, clearly surprised.
"Answer me this," I shot back, grinning. "Do you believe in giant, fire-breathing dragons?"
Hunter frowned. "Is that a trick question?"
"No." I smirked. "Now answer the question."
"Um, maybe?" He paused for a minute, clearly thinking about my question. "I believe they existed at one point."
"Me too!"
"Yeah?"
"Do you believe in mythical creatures like unicorns and mermaids?"
Hunter grinned. "I don’t think anyone over the age of nine believes in mermaids, sweetheart."
"Exactly," I agreed with an enthusiastic nod. "It's fiction. It’s made up stories to make people happy."
Hunter stared at me for a long moment with an adorably confused expression etched on his face. "I'm not following you," he finally admitted, looking puzzled.
"Multiple orgasms and men that can make you come with 'their tongue' until you're crying out and begging them to stop because you're absolutely positive your body cannot take the pleasure?" I cocked a brow in disbelief. "Bullshit fiction created by people like myself who write fairytales for the eighteen years and older category."
Now Hunter was the one to gape at me in disbelief. "Wait, you don’t believe a woman can have multiple orgasms?"
"Oh, I do," I shot back, smiling sweetly. "I just believe that in order to have them, she would have to do the job herself."
"Well, your husband sounds like a barrel of laughs," Hunter finally announced. "You're just an asset to that man's pride.
"I'm realistic," I corrected. "And it's not just my husband. It's facts. That kind of thing doesn’t exist."
"What rock have you been living under?"
"Oh what-fricking-ever, Hunter," I scoffed. "Like you're the master at making women have multiple orgasms!"
"I've had no complaints," he shot back with a proud smile.
I grimaced in disgust. "You're a slut, you know that, right?"
"Practice makes perfect, HC." Smirking he added, "It's all in the clit."
"Excuse me?" I spluttered.
"The clit?" Hunter smirked. "Maybe you should dust yours off once and a while and use it. You'd be amazed what a good fu–"
"Good, you're both together," Teagan announced just then as she sauntered into the living room armed with a stack of pamphlets and glossy catalogues. "We need to talk to you."
"What's up, Teegs?" I said in a bright tone, giving her my full attention, all the while thanking God for her unintentional intervention.
Hunter Casarazzi was entirely too brazen in his flirting with me, and I hated the part of me that secretly loved it. Even though it was only banter for him, he unintentionally gave me the attention I desperately craved. I was lonely and he filled the aching by making me want to smile and laugh even when my inner turmoil threatened to swallow me up.
Because the sad facts of my life were; my husband was still avoiding me. I still had to endure living with Annabelle – the same Annabelle I had been horrendously rude to a few weeks back and never apologized to. My career was going down the drain, one wordless day at a time, joining my love life in the toilet.
"Have you told them yet?" Noah asked, joining us in the living room.
"I was just about to," Teagan replied excitedly.
"Tell us what?" Hunter asked. "Wait –" He gasped and widened his eyes in mock surprise. "Are you pregnant?"
"Real funny, asshole," Teagan quipped before glaring at me. "Hope! Stop laughing – you're only encouraging him."
"I'm sorry," I choked out as I tried to smother my laughter with a cough. "Continue with your news."
"We're getting married," Teagan announced, clapping her hands with excitement.
"Um." Hunter held his hand up, like we were sitting in class and he was asking the teacher a question. "I'm pretty sure you guys are already married."
Noah shook his head and bit back a smirk. "Thorn means we're renewing our vows. Before the baby comes in the fall."
"And we want you both to be in the wedding!" Teagan looked so happy as she bounced up and down on her feet like a toddler. "Hope, I want you to be my maid of honor, and Noah wants you for his best man, Luck!"
Chapter Thirty-Four
LUCKY
So, I was best man and Hope was bridesmaid?
I grinned at her, knowing she was thinking this exact thing, too.
This was going to be very interesting.
"Of course, I'll be your maid of honor." Jumping up from the couch, Hope rushed over and threw her arms around Teagan. "I'm still pissed you ditched me the first time round. This will make amends."
"You know how sorry I am about that," Teagan countered, hugging Hope tightly. "But in my defense, I was so drunk that night I could have married Elvis."
"That's fucking reassuring," Noah muttered with a shake of his head.
"So, when's this happening?" Hope asked excitedly as she did this fucked up jiggling dance. I wasn’t complaining though. Her ass looked amazing when she jiggled around like that and I was thoroughly enjoying the floorshow.
Goddamn, how did Jordan Porter ever walk away from this woman? She had a face that needed constant supervision, a body to die for, and the personality of a walking fucking dream.
"Early August," Teagan replied, beaming. "I'm so excited, Hope. It's like our second chance at things." She paused then and I watched as a flurry of emotion rushed over her. Her voice was thick with emotion when she spoke again. "After the year we've had, I want to stand in front of our family and friends and show the world we made it. That what happened to me and Noah didn’t break us."
"Because we're permanent, Thorn," Noah piped up.
"Yeah," she agreed, flashing a smile at her husband. "Like a sharpie, right?"
"Like titanium," he corrected before walking over to where she was standing and pressing a kiss to her head. "What do you say, man?" he asked then, turning his attention to me. "Will you be my best man?"
Did he even need to ask?
"Always, man." Mirroring Hope's earlier actions, I rose from the couch and enveloped Noah in a hug. "Fucking always."
"Appreciate it," Noah muttered gruffly, clapping me on the back before taking a step back. "Don’t know what I was going do if you said no."
I smirked. "Fuck that, man. You have three nephews who would be more than happy to take my place."
"True." Noah nodded, agreeing. "But you're the one I want standing beside me on the day."
"Awh, Hope
," Teagan gushed sarcastically. "Maybe these two should get married instead."
Hope threw her head back and laughed. "They certainly love each other enough."
"Who says we already haven't?" I shot back. "Maybe he was my bitch wife in prison."
Hope's mouth fell open in horror.
"Real funny, asshole," Noah grunted. "He's obviously fucking with you, Hope."
"Noah as your bitch wife," Teagan scoffed, unaffected by my comments. "More like the other way around, pretty boy."
"He'd have an easier life with me," I countered mockingly, totally fucking joking, but enjoying Hope's reactions too much to stop. "I'm lovely."
"Of course, you are," Teagan cooed, patting my shoulder. "Now, go and put the kettle on. We have color schemes to talk about!"
Noah paled. "Color schemes?"
Teagan nodded. "Not to mention flower arrangements, potential venues, and wedding attire –" She paused mid-sentence and turned her attention to Hope. "We have to get a red dress for you. You look smoking hot in red, babe."
"Good choice," Hope agreed, equally as absorbed in this wedding shit as Teagan was. "And you need roses in your bouquet."
"And a live band," Teagan shot back with a grin. "I want to do it outside. In the open."
"Like a gazebo or something?" Hope replied, eyes dancing with delight.
"Exactly. You are my fricking soul sister." Teagan clapped like a maniac. "We should organize a night out to celebrate."
"Omigod, yes!"
"Tonight?"
"Yes!"
"For drinks?"
"And dinner."
"And dancing!"
"Jesus," Noah muttered, taking in the sight of the two girls chattering at ninety miles an hour. "You'd swear they haven't seen each other in months."
I liked it; knowing Hope had a friend she could be herself around.
I liked to know she wasn’t lonely.
I had a feeling she spent a lot of her time feeling that way. It made my heart ache less when I saw her with Teagan.
"Lucky, can I have a word with you?" Noah asked then, distracting me from my staring. "Now?" he added before stalking out of the room. I took one final glance at the girls before following him outside.
"What are you doing, man?" he asked when I stepped onto the porch and had the door closed behind me.
"Right now?" I drawled. "I'm standing here talking to you, with plans to smoke a cigarette."
"Don’t give me that shit," Noah grumbled, watching me like a hawk as I sparked up a smoke and took a deep drag.
"Then step back," I countered, exhaling a puff of smoke. "And you won't have to inhale it."
"You're either one hell of a cocky bastard and don’t care what anyone thinks," Noah argued, not taking the bait. "Or you're genuinely blind to how fucking transparent you are when you're around her." I could hear the disapproval in his tone – it was oozing from him in buckets – and almost instantly, my hackles rose. "You couldn’t want her more if you tried, Lucky, and it's plain for the world to see, man."
"We're friends," I bit out.
"Friends," Noah mocked. "But you want more?"
I nodded and took another drag. I wasn’t a liar, and besides, I had nothing to hide. The whole damn world could know how I felt and I wouldn’t give two shits, just as long as Hope knew.
Hope thought I was fucking around.
She'd assumed as much when she saw my sister leave Noah's house this morning.
Hayden had called me, stoned off her face, and I'd brought her back there to crash with the strict stipulation that she got her ass out of the house first thing the following morning. I hadn't known what to do with her last night if I was being honest.
Blood or not, I didn’t really know my sister. Hell, I'd only learned about her existence in the last year.
She was a product of one of my father's many affairs, and if I was being honest, I suspected half a dozen more Hayden's littered across the state.
At nineteen, Hayden was only a baby. But she'd managed to get herself up shit's creek with cocaine streaks streaming from her nose.
Drugs weren't my thing.
Never had been.
Sure, I'd smoked my fair share of weed in prison, but I'd never touched the harder stuff. I'd seen firsthand what shooting your veins up with that shit could do to a man. It wasn’t fucking pretty and the state penitentiary was littered with the aftermath.
"You're a glutton for punishment," Noah stated, drawing me back to the present.
I raised a brow. "Coming from the man who married a hellcat?"
"I think married is the key word here," Noah shot back, unaffected by my sarcasm. "She's married."
"Married," I scoffed. "And what a fucking joke that marriage is."
I knew she wanted me.
I fucking knew it.
And in all honesty, if this was any other woman rejecting me on a daily basis, I would’ve walked away by now, but she wasn’t any other woman.
She was Hope.
I was fully fucking aware that I didn’t stand a chance against golden boy. Christ, they'd been practically betrothed from birth. And yeah, a part of me knew I should take Noah's advice and bow the hell out of this race, but I wasn't going to. There was something inside of me forcing me to stay. Forcing me to risk it all on the one woman I could never have.
"You're playing with fire chasing that girl," Noah muttered, glaring at me. "And there's only one person that's going to get burned, man. You."
"Why don’t you stay in your lane, man, and I'll stay in mine." I didn’t particularly want to get into it with Noah over this, but I sure as hell wasn’t about to stand down either. "It's got fuck all to do with you."
"Like hell it hasn’t," Noah shot back heatedly. "She's my goddamn niece, Lucky!" He growled loudly and ran a hand through his black hair. "Seriously, man. You need to find a girl of your own."
"Why?" I demanded then, losing my temper. "Because he owns her? Because he's treated her so fucking well in the past?" I shook my head and sneered. "Bullshit, Noah. He put a ring on her finger and ran." I took a step forward and ran a through my hair in absolute fucking frustration. He didn’t get it. None of them fucking got it. "If I had put a ring on her finger, you know what I'd have done?"
"This isn’t about what you would have…"
"I would have stayed," I roared, interrupting him. "Regardless of the bullshit and the fucking horror. I would have fucking stayed."
"And Hayley?" he hissed. "If she was alive, you wouldn’t even be thinking about –"
"Don’t fucking go there," I warned, shaking my head.
Hayley.
Everything always came back to Hayley.
Was I not entitled to move on?
Was I supposed to sit around and fuck random women for the rest of my life and never again feel anything at all?
I didn’t appreciate the fucked-up opinion that I wasn’t entitled to fall in love again.
Because I did feel and I was falling.
Hell, I hadn't thought it possible, either, but it was happening to me and it was the realest feeling I had ever experienced. More real and more consuming than anything I had experienced at eighteen.
"You have to go there," Noah growled. "You have to think about this, man. Hope is not a rebound. She's a permanent. You take her away from him and she's going to be so consumed in her own guilt she's gonna be dark. Real fucking dark. This isn't black and white, bro. This is all fucked up and you've dug yourself into a hole so deep I don’t think anyone can reach you."
"You know," I mused as I exhaled a cloud of smoke and flicked the ash from my cigarette. "I'm pretty fucking content in 'the hole' I've dug for myself, but thanks for your concern – it's unnecessary, though." I took another drag of my smoke before saying, "I'm good with the decisions I've made, Noah, and when it comes to her, I've got no fucking regrets."
"Say this bullshit notion you have swings in your favor," Noah countered, throwing his hands up in frustration. "She's nothing
like us, Lucky. Think she can handle all the bullshit and horror that comes with being with one of us?"
I didn’t answer that.
I couldn’t.
Noah had me there and he knew it.
Hope was good and pure and the opposite of everything in my life.
"And say you fuck up and end up back inside," he added, pouring salt on the wound. "What happens to Hope then? I'll tell you what happens; she's left wide open as a fucking target for every asshole you've ever crossed paths with."
"I could say the same about you, brother," I shot back defensively, masking my sheer fucking horror at the thought. "What happens to Teagan and the baby if you're tossed back inside?"
My words caused Noah to balk. "Don’t fucking say that, man." He visibly shuddered. "Jesus!"
"Then don’t say it about me, either," I countered heatedly. "Because I have no intention of going back inside. But thanks for the vote of confidence," I added, tone laced with disgust. "It's good to know where your loyalties lie in all this. Asshole."
"My loyalty lies with you, you dumb shit," Noah snarled. "Always has and always will. But I can see trouble coming like a fucking hurricane, man. You keep chasing her and this will end in disaster. And the collateral damage is gonna be you. So yeah, maybe it seems like I don’t have your back in this, but that's bullshit. I'm trying to warn you, Lucky. I'm trying to help you get out of this."
"I love her," was all I replied, and those three words seemed to throw Noah.
It was the first time I had verbalized how I'd been feeling aloud and it came as no surprise to me. I'd been falling for this woman for almost a year now. Saying it aloud, and to my best friend, only seemed to cement my feelings.
Noah stared at my face for the longest moment before exhaling a heavy breath. "I know." He shook his head in defeat and said, "But she's gonna take you down, man."
"Maybe I want her to," I shot back quietly. Or maybe she already has.
Chapter Thirty-Five
HOPE
When I left Teagan's place, I headed straight back to Jordan's to shower and change my clothes. We'd made plans to meet at Darby's, a local restaurant/bar we all liked in downtown Boulder, at six-thirty.
