by Susan Stoker
“It’s exactly the same, Conor.” This time, the hurt in her tone was loud and clear. More so because she wasn’t yelling at him. She was using logic, and every word speared through his heart as if they were knives. “You take care of me every day, and while I’m not used to it and it sometimes makes me uncomfortable, I still love that you do it. All I’m trying to do is the same for you. But, I’m glad you told me how this relationship is supposed to work. Thank you. Next time I have a bad day, I’ll be sure to hole up in my apartment like a five-year-old and send you a bullshit text. Enjoy your sulk, Conor.” Then she hung up on him.
His fight with Erin didn’t improve his mood or his day at all. Conor spent the next thirty minutes justifying his actions to himself, then the following thirty minutes pacing in agitation when he realized what a dick he’d been. Then he called Erin half a dozen times, but she didn’t answer.
As his worry for her increased, he understood what he’d done. And she was right. Being in a relationship didn’t mean they only shared good times together. If they stayed together, got married, and had kids, he couldn’t pout in his room every time he had a bad day. He needed to talk about it with her like the adult he was. He knew without a doubt that if asked, Erin would give him the space he needed to work through his feelings.
Except, he suddenly realized, he didn’t want space. Being around Erin always made him feel better. Happy.
He’d been wrong. A dick. And he needed to apologize. And it couldn’t wait.
After taking the world’s quickest shower, Conor got into his truck and drove to her apartment. It wasn’t too late, but he knew she usually went to bed early. Ultimately, it didn’t matter. It could’ve been three in the morning and he still would’ve groveled for her forgiveness.
He knocked on her door and waited. He heard footsteps on the other side, but she didn’t open it.
“I’m sorry. You were right. I was sulking. I want so badly to be everything to you, that I forget that you being everything to me means letting you in when I’ve had a bad day.”
The door opened a crack and Erin peered out.
He didn’t hesitate. “We raided a property today and found dozens of abused and neglected reptiles. Snakes with their skin sloughing off. Turtles with broken and cracked shells. Alligators who were so skinny it was horrifying. I know people tend to only care about cute dogs and cats who are found with animal hoarders, but the filth and lack of remorse from the man who owned the property got to me. I didn’t want my bad mood to touch you.”
Erin opened the door all the way. The look of sorrow on her face was hard to bear, but Conor stayed quiet so she could have her say.
“I’m sorry, Conor. But if you think I only want to be around you when things are good, this relationship isn’t going to work. I know so far I’ve done a lot more taking than giving, but I need to feel as if you need me as much as I need you.”
“I need you,” Conor told her immediately. “So much it scares me. I was afraid you’d see me in a bad mood and have second thoughts about continuing on with this relationship.”
“Conor, for God’s sake. It’s entirely possible my mom murdered my dad and you know about how I almost ate myself to death. A bad mood here and there doesn’t even land you in the same stratosphere as my issues. I freaked out the other day when I stretched and you saw my belly. Good God. I’m in love with you, and you’re worried about being in a freaking bad mood around me. That doesn’t exactly bode well for any kind of successful relationship between us.”
Conor knew she was right, but he couldn’t think past those five words. “You love me?”
Her bottom lip quivered and she choked out, “Yes. So much, it scares me to death that you’re going to change your mind and decide a thirty-five-year-old virgin who has more mental issues than she knows what to do with isn’t worth the hassle.”
“I’m coming in,” Conor declared, pushing her door open and forcing Erin to take a step backwards. He shut the door behind him and took her face in his hands. “I love you. I treasure every minute we spend together. I’m sorry I made the wrong decision tonight. It won’t happen again. Thank you for calling me on it and not just taking my shit. I’m not going to change my mind about loving you, bright eyes. Just don’t give up on me, okay?”
“I won’t,” she said, tears brimming in her eyes.
Conor pulled her to him and they stood in the front hallway of her apartment, hugging for several long minutes. Finally, he pulled back and asked, “Can I stay?”
“Of course,” Erin replied immediately.
“You still want to go camping with me next week?”
She huffed out a breath. “Yeah. You’re not canceling on me, are you?”
“No. But…” He stopped.
“But?”
“I can’t go on Monday. I need to go to court and make sure the guy from today doesn’t get his animals back. It’s not a formal thing, but we go in front of the judge and the accused makes his case, and we make ours. The ASPCA has all the animals now and my testimony will help their case. But I have the rest of the week off as we planned.”
“How long will it take?”
“What? The hearing?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s scheduled for two o’clock. It shouldn’t take more than two hours.”
“Why don’t I meet you out there then?”
Conor frowned and she continued.
“I could drive out there and set up the tent and stuff. Then by the time you get there sometime after six, everything would be ready and we could just relax.”
“I’m not sure,” he said.
“Come on, I haven’t had a week off in a really long time. I could make that Dutch oven lasagna recipe I’ve been wanting to try. It’d be ready for you when you got there,” she cajoled.
“I suppose that could work. You don’t mind?”
“Of course not. I didn’t look like I minded setting everything up when we were on that canoe trip, did I?”
He shook his head. “Nope. You had everything under control.”
“Exactly.”
“Okay. It’s a plan then. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. I want to get out of town just as much as you. My classes at school are driving me crazy. Some semesters my students are great, and others they’re just…ugh.”
“No, I mean, thank you for forgiving me for being an ass tonight.”
“Conor, we’re not perfect. I suspect you’re going to be an ass again at some point. Just as I’m going to be a head case about my body, about eating, and probably about something else stupid. If this relationship is going to work, we need to communicate. When you told me about the bullying your sisters went through, and how it affected you, I realized then you would understand my pain and issues better than most people in my life. Because you saw firsthand how ugly people can be to each other. But I want, and need, to be there for you as much you’re there for me. Please don’t shut me out.”
“How’d you get so smart when you’re the virgin in the relationship?”
She smiled. “Because I’m a woman. We’re smarter, don’t you know?”
With that, Conor bent and put his shoulder to Erin’s stomach. He stood with her hanging over his shoulder.
“Conor! Put me down!”
He ignored her and strode toward her bedroom. “Put you down? Sure.” He shrugged his shoulder and carefully dumped her on her ass on her mattress.
She sat there, looking up at him, her hair in disarray around her head. She hadn’t ever been prettier to him. More so because he realized at that moment that she’d managed to lighten his mood. He’d been an ass earlier. He should’ve recognized that being around her was the one thing he needed to feel better. Not shutting her out. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.
“Get changed, bright eyes. I’m gonna do my thing in the bathroom, then I want to show you how appreciative I am of your forgiveness.”
Her eyes got big. He ran his hand over her hair and
leaned down and whispered in her ear, “I want to taste you. Show you the difference between an orgasm I give you with my hand, and one I give you with my mouth.”
“Conor…” she said breathlessly.
He could see the excitement, and trepidation, in her eyes.
“We’ll keep the lights off, baby. All you’ll have to do is feel. I’ll do the rest.” He waited with bated breath for her acquiescence. “It’ll be good, bright eyes. Promise.”
“Okay.”
That one word made his cock spring to life. “Okay. I’ll be back.” He kissed her swiftly, already imagining how she’d feel and taste under his mouth, and headed for the bathroom. He always gave her plenty of time to get changed and under the covers. As much as he craved seeing her body, he wanted to make her comfortable more. Conor had no doubt the day would come when she’d be all right with having his eyes on her, but until that day came, he’d do everything in his power to protect her…even from himself.
His thoughts turned to the upcoming night and he licked his lips. Oh yeah, making her come on his face had been his fantasy for the past month. Making her feel good was the least he could do after what he’d put her through tonight.
Conor exited the bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. He immediately went to the light switch and flicked it, throwing the room into darkness.
He made his way back to her bed and settled on the mattress next to her. She held herself stiff next to him, and he smiled. He couldn’t wait to taste her. To feel her explode under him. He couldn’t deny he wanted to see her, all of her, but being with her like this, in the dark, heightened all his other senses.
He could hear her increased breaths and feel her slight trembling. Leaning forward, Conor put his nose behind her ear and inhaled the slightly sweet smell of whatever shampoo she used. “Relax, bright eyes,” he murmured as he nuzzled the sensitive skin of her neck. “This is going to feel good. Really good.”
“I know…I’m just nervous.”
Conor didn’t respond. He knew she wasn’t completely comfortable with what he wanted to do, but that made him all the more determined to make it an experience she’d never forget. He picked up one of her hands, which had been pressing into the mattress, and kissed the palm. Then he placed her hand on his naked chest. “Touch me.”
He figured if she was concentrating on his body, maybe she’d pay less attention to what he was doing to hers.
As she brought her other hand up to his chest, he leaned over her and kissed her, deep, wet, and lazy. He made love to her mouth as she explored his body. Her hands caressed his chest, then roamed down his arms. He shifted and straddled her thighs, without taking his mouth from hers. He felt her small hands move to the small of his back and trace the indentation of his spine.
His cock jumped behind the cotton of the boxers he wore and Conor felt a spurt of pre-come leak out the tip. He wanted the woman under him more than he’d wanted anything in his life, but tonight was about her, not his own sexual satisfaction.
Ending the kiss, Conor moved to Erin’s neck. He sucked and kissed every inch of skin there, grinning as he felt her turn her head to the side, giving him room. Slowly, so he didn’t alarm her, he inched his way down her body. She was wearing one of his T-shirts, and aside from nuzzling her breasts as he went, he didn’t try to remove it, knowing she’d feel more secure and comfortable with her clothes on.
Her belly was soft, and Conor would give anything to see her, all of her, but the scent of her desire distracted him. He sighed in relief as he settled between her thighs. She opened for him, allowing him access to her pussy. His hands smoothed down her stomach and he stopped when he reached her hips.
She wasn’t wearing panties.
No wonder he could smell her arousal so easily.
“I figured it would be stupid to keep my underwear on if you were going to…you know,” Erin said tentatively.
Conor didn’t respond with words. He leaned down and ran his nose up the crease where her leg met her torso. She moved under him, lifting her ass a fraction of an inch, before relaxing against the mattress again.
He shifted until his fingers rested on her hips and his thumbs caressed the coarse hair above her clit. “You smell amazing,” Conor said. “So fucking perfect.”
Not giving her time to respond, he leaned down and licked her slit ever so slowly. Groaning at his first taste of her, he did it again. Then a third time. After the last pass, he concentrated on her clit. Running his tongue over it lazily.
“Conor…oh my God!” Erin said. Her hands came to his head and she gripped him tightly. Her fingernails dug into his scalp, increasing his pleasure.
He couldn’t see the perfection in front of him, but there was something to be said for making love in the dark. He liked it. A lot. He shifted, forcing her legs wider around his shoulders. Without warning, he fastened his mouth around her clit and sucked—hard.
She bucked under him and he used his hands to hold her down as he increased the suction around the small bundle of nerves. Conor breathed in and out fast through his nose, whipping his tongue over and over her clit even as he sucked.
His nose was buried in her trimmed public hair, and he felt Erin begin to twitch under him in the beginnings of an orgasm. She was incredibly sensitive…and she was all his. No other man had seen or felt her this way. Only him.
The possessive feelings rose up in Conor until he couldn’t think about anything but making her come. Of giving her something no one ever had.
“Conor…please…I’m so close!”
He could tell. Shifting one hand to rest on her lower belly and keeping her in place, he lifted his head and licked her slit once more. She was soaked now, dripping with excitement. He parted her folds with his hand and leaned in once more. Conor pushed his tongue up inside her as far as it could go, relishing her taste.
He moved his free hand between her legs and lazily played with her. One finger coasted lightly over her sensitive clit, making her jump, before tracing her opening. She moaned and lifted her feet until they were resting flat on the mattress.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured as his finger continued to touch and play in her wetness without ever entering her.
“You can’t even see me,” she protested.
“I don’t have to see you to know you’re beautiful, bright eyes,” he said honestly. “The way your body weeps for me is gorgeous. The moans coming from your mouth are exquisite. You trusting me and spreading your legs farther apart is stunning.” He slowly—ever so slowly—eased one finger inside her body as he choked out, “And the feel of your tight, wet pussy strangling my finger is so goddamn magnificent, I could come just imagining how my cock will feel once it gets inside you.”
“Conor…” Erin wailed as she tightened against his finger.
Conor didn’t know if she was trying to keep him out, or was just overwhelmed with sensation. “Easy, bright eyes, I’m not going to hurt you. Relax and let me in.”
“I need…I want…please, Conor,” Erin begged.
Realizing she was on the edge, and wanting to feel her go over, he didn’t prolong either of their agony any longer. Keeping his finger nestled inside her, not moving, Conor leaned down and roughly tongued her clit. He had no mercy, didn’t start slow and build, he attacked the bundle of nerves and lashed at it as fast as he could.
Within seconds, Erin was bucking against his mouth and he could feel her inner muscles squeezing his finger. Her hands gripped his shoulders so hard he knew she’d leave marks, but he didn’t care.
She arched her back, and he could just imagine the look of ecstasy on her face as every muscle in her body tensed right before she exploded. Conor was so turned on, he was amazed he didn’t come right along with her. The musky smell of her increased as she came, and he slowly eased his finger in and out of her incredibly tight sheath, doing what he could to prolong her orgasm.
When she was coming down, he fastened his mouth over her clit again and sucked, hard. Eri
n let out a high-pitched screech and immediately came again. Conor reveled in her pleasure. Loved knowing he’d done that for her. His mouth. His fingers. Him.
As she came down from her second orgasm, Conor had pity on her and released his mouth from her clit and eased his finger from inside her body. He couldn’t resist bringing his come-soaked digit up to his mouth. He closed his eyes as her essence exploded on his taste buds. Without thought, he leaned down and used his tongue to lick her folds clean.
Erin trembled as he reluctantly pulled away and got up on his hands and knees to crawl up her body. He turned onto his back and pulled Erin into him. Her knee immediately bent and eased over his thigh and one hand curled around his chest to hold him closer.
It was a minute or two before she spoke. “Thank you.”
Conor smiled in the darkness. “You’re welcome.”
“I…I had no idea it was like that.”
“It’s not always,” Conor said honestly. “You’re just a natural.”
Erin smacked him lightly on the chest. “Shut up.”
He turned his head and found her forehead in the darkness and kissed her. “Seriously. You’re incredibly passionate, Erin, and I’m honored and blessed to be the man to bring it to the surface. I should be thanking you.”
She shifted uneasily next to him and said, “Are you…you didn’t get off.”
Conor tightened his arms around the woman at his side. “Holding you as you came was a gift. Tonight was all for you.”
She moved her hand slowly down his chest toward his still rock-hard dick. “I can—”
Conor caught her hand and brought it up to his mouth. He kissed the palm and laid it on his chest. He kept his hand on top of hers and pressed it tightly against him. “Shhhhh. Relax. Despite what some men claim, a guy won’t die if he doesn’t come. I can’t deny I’m harder right now than I’ve ever been in my life, but I’m feeling mellow despite the condition of my dick. Knowing I was the first man to make you come with my mouth is the most intimate thing I’ve ever experienced. It was amazing. You are amazing, bright eyes.”
He felt a splash of wetness against his chest and stiffened in alarm.
