Keep Me

by Faith Andrews

  We were at it again, for like the umpteenth time since Tessa left the lake house. When I came home that first morning, after sleeping off the alcohol and the gut-wrenching pain, I dragged Riley with me to Tessa’s house, only to find it empty. She just picked up and took off and I had no idea where she went. Riley didn’t know then either, but she did now. They’d been in contact and I followed Riley’s instructions to back off. But it was pure torture—the waiting, biding my time. Today the wait just had to be over. It was the day I would get some answers. However, Riley still wasn’t willing to give them. Bitch!

  “She doesn’t want to see you, Marcus. She’s barely even answered my calls. You need to leave her alone and let her calm down.”

  I didn’t want to leave her alone anymore. Her time to be alone was up. I’d given her that and now I wanted to see her, touch her, explain to her that what she saw wasn’t what she saw. She needed to know how I felt—empty and lost without her. My heart ached—I was in love with Tessa and I never even got the chance to tell her.

  “Riley, I will never forgive you for this! Never!” I stormed out of her house, clutching my phone for dear life. I willed it to ring, begged for some sign from Tessa that we weren’t over, but just like the last couple of days and nights, it remained silent.

  “Goddamn it!” I screamed as I punched the dashboard with my good hand. It was a stupid move, considering the other one was all bandaged up because of my fight with the dresser. But I felt helpless. I just couldn’t stand around trying to function as if everything was okay, not knowing where she was and what she was thinking. This was torture—this was what I’d been trying to avoid all my life.

  I rested my head on the steering wheel, rolling my forehead back and forth, trying to rub out the pain. It was useless. This wasn’t the type of hurt that just disappeared and allowed you to go on with your life. This hurt was the kind that would stay with me, fester until I lived with guilt and regrets that would change the person I am—the person I was learning to become because of Tessa. Because of Luca, too.

  As I sat there feeling sorry for myself, I thought of all the people Tessa knew—someone would be able to lead me to her. There had to be one fucking person who could put me out of my misery.

  And as luck would have it, that person was Tessa’s beautiful, godsend of a mother.

  The phone rang, vibrating on my lap. It was an out of area number, but I would have taken a collect call from China if it meant getting information about Tessa.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Yes, hi. Is this Marcus Grayson?” The voice was hushed, soft. Holy Christ, it was angelic.

  “Yes. May I ask who’s calling?”

  “Hi, Marcus… oh jeez, she’s gonna kill me when she finds out I did this, but… this is Tessa’s mother, Brenda Bradley.”

  “Is she okay? Please tell me Tessa’s okay.” My words were frantic, but I was thinking up worst case scenarios. Please God, tell me she hasn’t been in some kind of accident. I haven’t told her how I feel!

  “Yes, yes, she’s fine. Calm down, sweetie.”

  “Oh, thank you!” I was relieved. It was the first time in days that I could actually breathe without the paralyzing weight on my chest. But I still had to get to her. “Can you tell me where she is?” Realization set in. “Oh shit!—I mean, sorry, I’m just so—is she there? In Arizona? With you?” I wanted to run off a list of twenty questions, but most of all I just needed the name of a damn place so I could get to her as soon as possible.

  Mrs. Bradley huffed out a long breath and then continued. “Marcus, I’m only calling you because I can’t bear to see Tessa like this. Not after what she’s been through with…” She took a long pause. I knew this had to be hard on her, too. It couldn’t be easy to see your child in pain. When she returned, her tone was stern—she meant business. “I’ll tell you where she is… on one condition.”

  “Anything. Just say the word. I’ll do anything for her.”

  “You tell me exactly what happened that night. No lies, no cover-ups, no beating around the bush. I plan on calling Riley next, so don’t think you can lie to me just to get what you want.”

  Like mother, like daughter—Tessa and her mother were two spunky chicks. I loved it. “Mrs. Bradley, first of all, I would never dream of lying to you. Second of all, what you need to know, above all else, is that I’m in love with your daughter. I never told her, and my biggest fear was that I’d never get to tell her, but—I’ll get my chance now and it’s all because of you.”

  “You still didn’t give me my answer, young man. You can love someone and still hurt them—I know that, Tessa knows that, I’m sure even that monster Zack knew that.”

  “I’m nothing like Zack, Mrs. Bradley, and to answer your question, no. I didn’t do what Tessa thinks I did. It was all one big clusterfuck—sorry, I mean, misunderstanding.” I had kissing up to do and my sailor mouth wasn’t going to help.

  She cleared her throat, waiting for more. When I remained silent, she came back with more of her surprising forwardness. “Details, mister. And don’t be shy. I’m not some wrinkled up old lady, I’m privy to the current trends—I read Fifty Shades of Grey. So spill it… Why did Tessa see what she saw?”

  Seriously? I remembered meeting Brenda Bradley once—at Riley and Tessa’s college graduation. But I was still young and even if she was only in her forties then, she was still old to me. But a few years and a little maturity—and the mention of the book known round the world for its ridiculous sex scenes—made me realize Brenda was a woman not just Tessa’s mother. “Brenda,” I laughed and then sat up straight again. “Uh… do you mind if I call you Brenda or do you prefer Mrs. Bradley?” Don’t piss off the mother, Grayson. She’s the only hope you have right now.

  “Brenda’s fine.”

  “Good, okay… where were we?”

  “Your lips were all over some woman’s body and it wasn’t Tessa’s.”

  Blunt—add it to the list of things I liked about my new ally.

  “Yes, well, no. That’s not how it was at all. Tessa and I had an argument… she said some things, well…” Why was this so hard? Emotionless was my middle name, I didn’t know how to do this, especially not to a near-stranger. “They fucking hurt! She made me feel like shit and I just needed to walk away.”

  “So far you’re not painting a pretty picture—and I have seen some pretty pictures of you, Mr. Wild West.”

  Oh my god. Tessa told her about that? That was good. The fact that she was talking about me, about things that used to make her smile—there was hope. “Okay, well then, let me paint it better… I went off to my room, devastated. When the knock came on the door I thought it was Tessa coming to find me, instead it was the girl in question—Skylar.”

  “Do you and Skylar have a history?” She sounded so much like a psychologist. Unaffected, just going with the flow, trying to evaluate it all.

  I swear I almost called her Dr. Ruth, but I didn’t want to piss her off. “Well, yes, but—I have never felt about a woman the way I feel about Tessa. Ever. I’ve never been in a relationship. She’s my first.”

  “But you just said you had a history with Miss Skylar.”

  Therapy session 101 was about to get a little rocky.

  “History, as in past, yes. But there was no relationship. It was a one-time thing and apparently she was coming back for more.”

  “Ahhh, I see. So? Did you grant the girl her wish?”

  “No! Haven’t you heard anything I’ve been saying? Of course I didn’t. She came on to me! She cornered me! She was the one who wouldn’t take no for an answer and it was my damn luck that just as she pushed herself on me, Tessa walked in. I swear to it, Brenda, I told her to get out the minute she came in. I never meant to hurt Tessa. I’ve always promised her she could trust me.”

  “Can she, Marcus? She told me you got a little violent.”

  I was waiting for this. I knew that rocked her—I saw it on her face. Like a doe-eyed deer in headlights,
all because of me. “I can’t apologize enough for that, but please, I’m begging you please, don’t compare me to Zack. I’m nothing like him. I don’t want to control her. I don’t want to own her. I just want to love her. And when I thought she was taking that away from me, I went a little crazy.”

  “Marcus,” she huffed, a long, loud breath of relief. “I believe you. I can hear it in your voice, you’re telling the truth, but I’m the easy one. Even if I tell you where she is, I can’t promise you that all will be forgiven. She’s got a thick skull and a cage around that beautiful heart of hers… she needed to build some kind of armor after what he did to her.”

  It would be work, but I would walk cross-country and back just to get a shot at proving myself to her again. “Please, Brenda. Please tell me where she is.”

  I heard something in the background—it was hard to make out. Upon closer concentration, I realized it was the click-clacking typing of a keyboard.

  “Your flight leaves tomorrow at six a.m. It was the only thing available on such short notice. Michael and I will make sure we’re out—oh, grocery shopping, that works—so when you arrive at the house you two will have some time alone. I’m arranging for a cab to pick you up at the airport and drop you off here, at my home. Any questions?”

  Was she some secret, undercover special ops agent or something? Listen to her, making undisclosed plans, executing travel arrangements, and even thinking of an alibi for herself and her husband. “Yes, I do have one question for you, Bren.”

  “Don’t go getting too cozy… it’s Brenda. But shoot.”

  “How the hell can I ever repay you for this?”

  Her voice caught, there was heaviness in the tone of her response. “You’ve already done it. You showed her how to love again after what that SOB did to her and my grandson. We owe you, Marcus. Just keep loving my little girl. That’s all I’ll ever ask. Oh, and that you make no mention of this whole shenanigan. She’ll be more apt to forgive her underwear model heartthrob than her meddling mom.”

  I laughed so hard I had to hold my side. I hadn’t been this happy in days, so the feeling overcame me like a tidal wave. “Thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me!”

  My stomach was in so many knots, I was pretty sure I’d succumbed to that butterfly swarming in my belly shit that girls chattered about. But this was worse—in the past twenty-four hours my broken heart was given hope and if for whatever reason Tessa wasn’t going to give me a chance, I’d be fucked up for good.

  As promised by secret agent Brenda, the cab brought me to their home. The place holding Tessa, warm and protected, safe from me.

  After paying the cabbie and grabbing my stuff, I stood at the curb, afraid to make my move. It’s do or die time, dude. I walked up the pattern-stoned driveway, taking it all in. The Bradleys’ home was modest and welcoming. I could see why Tessa would think of it as a retreat—a clay colored stucco ranch landscaped with cacti and palm trees on a quiet cul-de-sac of almost identical houses—it just screamed tranquility.

  Knocking on the door, I felt the need to clutch my balls to see if they were still there. Yup, sack intact! It was my heart I really had to worry about.

  “Coming!” Tessa shouted, the clicking of her flip-flops getting closer and closer.

  When she swung the door open—oh my god, that fucking body. Flawless bronzed skin glistened with trickles of sweat that I wanted to lick off her. She must have been sunbathing, wearing practically nothing. Scanning the length of her, my eyes finally landed on her face, to a priceless expression. Her big sapphire eyes grew wider within the frame of her thick lashes. Her complexion went from flushed to pale then back to flushed again, and her lips—those fucking scrumptious lips, they dropped open in a surprised ‘O’. “What the hell are you doing here? How did you—”

  I fought the urge to grab her, to touch her, and just let the words fall out. “I love you, pretty girl. I came all this way because you needed to hear that. I love you and I can’t live without you.” It came out effortlessly—I couldn’t wait another second to tell her.

  She stood there silent, motionless. Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for.

  “Did you hear me, baby? I said I love you.”

  With a hand on her hip, she came back at me. “Oh, I freaking heard you, but really, Marcus, why are you here?” she asked, totally emotionless. No smile on her lips, no spark in her eye, no falter in her cold tone.

  Shit! I was too late. I felt my heart sink down to my gut, my shoulders slumping over in defeat. Game over—No! Fuck that! I wasn’t going down without a fight. I stood up tall, straightening my shoulders and inching toward her. “You’re gonna let me in and you’re gonna let me explain.” I realized part of the reason she ran away was because I wasn’t exactly gentle with her at the lake house. I didn’t want to rehash any of that, so I raised my hands in front of my chest as a peace offering. “Please? Can we talk?”

  I stared into her eyes, my insides tangled together; my heart felt like it was dissolving into the blood that pumped around it. Fucking kill me now, I was done for.

  “I really don’t know what more there is to say, Marcus. But sure,” she huffed, finally letting down her guard, “come in.”

  I followed her inside, watching her perfect ass sway back and forth. Alone at last—”Where’s Luca?” I wanted to make sure.

  “Out with my parents.”

  Brenda was a gem—setting this whole thing up so perfectly. I owed that lady flowers or a nice dinner out. Hell, I might even tattoo her name above my heart to show tribute.

  Tessa led me into a living room—tiled floors, a large skylight filtering in the bright sun, comfortable, inviting furniture. Looked like something Riley might have put together. Serene and soothing—the perfect setting for what I hoped would be “the makeup.” Leaning over the couch, she picked up a piece of clothing that was thrown over some pillows. She quickly pulled it over her head to cover up.

  “No need to hide from me, pretty girl.”

  “I’m not hiding,” she bit back. “I’m protecting myself.”

  Was she talking about the goddamn dress or me? “Protecting yourself from what?”

  “From you. You know what, let’s not beat around the bush. There’s no sense in delaying the inevitable. And the quicker we get this over with, the quicker you can be on your way back home.”

  “Hold up a second,” I interrupted, walking closer to her.

  “No.” She backed away, outstretching her arm to ward me off. “I can’t do this. You can’t waltz in here and throw that word around like that and pretend you mean it. You don’t know what love is.”

  “You’re wrong,” I fought back. “I’m not pretending. I. Love. You. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” I held my hand over my heart. No, not to be cheesy, but because I thought it would burst out of my chest, unable to contain the magnitude of what I really felt.

  Tears welled up in her eyes, her nostrils flaring as she tried to hold back. “You’re so fucked up. How can you do this to me? I was such an idiot to believe you could change. I fell for it, I really did—I thought I was in love with you, too. But then you did—then I found you with her. Why, Marcus? Are you that fucked up that the minute something goes wrong you need to fix it with a quick lay?”

  The distance was too much. I had to hold her. In the past, we showed each other how we felt with touch—I had to show her now. I brought my hand up to cup her tear stained cheek. “You’re wrong, baby. Please believe me. She came up there and forced herself on me. I didn’t kiss her back. I didn’t even touch her! I was pissed at you, yes, but I would never do something like that to you. And before you even bring it up, I never meant to hurt you, physically. I was only trying to stop you. I was out of my mind and needed you to understand. It was stupid, impulsive, but I’m not like him, and I will never lay a hand on you like that again. Please, can’t you see? You. Are. Everything. To. Me.” I kissed the tip of her nose and when she didn’t retract, I con
tinued my speech. The one I’d rehearsed over and over again on the plane ride over here. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you and you alone. I need you, Tessa. You make me whole, you make me feel, you make me want to be the type of man my mother would be proud of.”

  Her hands inched up around my neck and I leaned down into her hold, pressing my forehead against hers. “I’m scared, Marcus. This is all so crazy. I want to believe you, to believe that I’m enough. But what if I’m not? You’re… you. A lady-killer, a young, hot, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants guy. Why do you want me? Why would you want to tie yourself down when you have so much ahead of you? How could you love me? I’m freaking scared to let you love me—to give myself to someone again. There’s so much up against us, it’s like we’re meant to fail.”

  I pulled back, lifting her chin with my finger. “Look at me.”

  When her eyes met mine, I searched deep, exploring the emotions spilling from her gaze. “I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember. I finally got you and now… I want to keep you.” I placed my hand over her heart, tapping a finger to show my intentions. “And I want you to keep me here. Please, baby, keep me. I love you, so much it hurts, but if you tell me you don’t feel the same, that’ll kill me. We can make this work. Fuck the odds—what we have is undeniable. A rock-solid friendship, a magnetic attraction, off-the-charts sex, and this love—this love I feel for you is positively unbreakable.”

  “Unbreakable?” She smiled. “Where’d you hear that one?”

  Geez, that stung. “I thought about it all on my own. Give me some credit. I’m pouring my heart out to you here and you mock me?” I couldn’t hide the hurt in my voice.

  “I’m sorry, Marcus. It’s just I’ve been broken so many times—”

  “This isn’t so many times, pretty girl. This is us. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you happy.” I kissed the creasing lines in her worried forehead. “Safe.” My lips brushed her damp lashes. “Loved.” I trailed kisses down her tensing jawline to her lips. “Mine.” My mouth covered hers, finally claiming her.