by Kylee Kosoff
David was the only one of our children who could change his feet to a tail. He became alive when he was underwater out of his shell. I knew that whatever his story would be it would be in Atlantis.
For me the Dark Forest Republic had always been the happiest place in the book. And I made sure that all of the villains felt the same.
The United States of Happily Ever After never understood us, but we didn’t care. We didn’t want just another fairytale.
As for Hook and me, we never regretted our story. Sure, it was a mess, but life is messy. Without our mistakes, we never could have loved each other as deeply as the ocean.
Chapter 28: The End.
And they lived happily, ever after.
GRIM
Hook and Henri were extremely happy. In fact, they still are. Isn’t that the really wonderful thing about a book? A book is the closest thing to forever on earth.
They were the best king and queen that had ever ruled over any part of Ideas. The Pirate King and the Queen of the Seven Seas as they became known.
Their love bested that of the greats. It definitely didn’t begin as conventional, but none of the great love stories ever do. It was messy, painful, and raw; but it was real.
Hook had once been afraid to risk loving again, but in the end his only fear was losing her.
Henri’s fear was that true love wasn’t real, but once she found it—she was brave enough to give everything up for it.
I think in a way that’s what it is all about. Either we’re too afraid too love, or we think that it’s not real.
But love exists. It’s painful and hard. It hurts and takes. But love if it’s real changes you completely.
The Pumpkin Incident of 1975
GRIM
Ok, fine I’ll tell the story. It was my first trip to the land of Ideas, and let’s just say I wasn’t very prepared. I’ve always been a writer, but I haven’t always been a Grim.
Authors tell stories their entire life in one way or another whether it’s through a game, a drawing, or scribbling ideas in notebooks. We find a way to tell a story.
When I was six, I thought it would be cool to be a writer; when I was twelve there was nothing that could stop me from writing; and when I turned sixteen I found the pen. From the moment I first saw it, it called to me. I was so excited to use it that I dipped it in ink and started to write immediately.
Imagine my surprise when I was suddenly transported to the United States of Happily Ever After. (Back then the Dark Forest Republic didn’t even exist). I’ll admit I was freaking out, but eventually I convinced myself that I was dreaming. So, I decided I might as well enjoy this crazy dream. With that in mind I started asking questions. (Authors are very inquisitive creatures). I sampled some Pixie Dust makeup, tried on some shoes in Cinderella’s Shoe Boutique. Everything was going wonderfully until Hook framed me.
See this was before Henri, so I was dealing with the jerk-face pirate without a soul Hook.
I was in Gretel and Hansel’s Candy Shop, and I wished that I had money because the candy looked so good. I bumped into this guy. “Oh, I’m sorry!”
“What’s the matter with you!” He shouted.
I don’t know what it was about this guy, but I had a feeling that he had a story that needed to be told. Authors tend to get really distracted, so I didn’t hear a word that he said to me. I should have paid attention. I didn’t know this at the time, but villains are not allowed in the United States of Happily Ever After.
And Hook was still yelling at me and drawing unwanted attention to his bad-boy self.
At this point my head was still up in the clouds, and I didn’t realize that Hook had slipped Gold Nuggets (a leprechaun favorite) into my pockets.
Smiling wryly, he shouted, “Thief!”
German kids who love their candy to an extreme degree take stealing very seriously. And guess who they found the stolen goodies on?
Me.
And in all of that commotion Hook managed to disappear.
So that’s how I found myself in jail. By this point I was having my doubts about this being a dream. it was too lifelike, too vivid. I’d learned a few years ago how to pick locks, and as soon as the guard nodded out, I was out of there. I was in a strange place with no idea where I was going when I ran smack into a very hard chest.
“Ow!”
“What are you running from?” He asked.
“I’m not running, I’m jogging.”
“As if hounds are on your heels.”
“Huh?”
“As if you’re being chased.”
I couldn’t see him because it was dark. I could barely make out a tall, lanky profile.
His voice was teasing, and his hands which had caught me were gentle.
“I’m not being chase. I just have to go home.”
“Ah, so the clock has struck midnight?”
I pushed away from him and marched away.
“Princess, you won’t find anything but trees in that direction.”
I turned around and started off again. “Cliffs of Insanity,” he shouted at me.
By this point I was mad. Authors are very proud creatures, and this guy had wounded my pride.
“Well then, GPS, where is the real world?”
“GPS?” He asked.
“Well?” I asked again stomping my foot.
“The real world,” He murmured. “So, you’re not a story?”
“No, I’m Grim.”
“You’re the author!”
“Yeah, I write books—wait how did you know that?”
“You’re a Grim.”
“No, I’m Grim.”
He laughed. “You’re a descendant of the original Grim brothers?”
“Yes, so?”
“You, my dear, are the one who tells the stories.”
“But how do I get home?” I asked impatiently.
“All you have to do is use your pen.”
“My pen!”
Guess what? Hook stole my pen.
“We have to get it back!”
“Excuse me there is no we,” I told him.
“You won’t stand a chance without me.”
“Well, I don’t even know who you are.”
“I’m Caspian, and we have to get that pen back.”
Fortunately, Hook always anchored his ship in the same place, and Caspian knew where the Jolly Roger was.
“Well, let’s go.”
“We’ll never make it in time it’s too far!”
“Then what are we going to do?”
“We need a broomstick.”
“A broomstick?”
“It’s the fastest way to travel, but we need to find a witch, and ever since this new government the villains have gone into hiding.”
“So what are we gonna do?”
“We’re going to break into a place and steal some stuff.”
We broke into a museum and stole an old broomstick in the Dorothy exhibit. On our way out Caspian tripped an alarm, and the police showed up.
“We’ll never out run them!” I yelled.
“You’re right we’ll have to fly.”
“What!” I shrieked.
The broomstick sputtered to life. “Get on, Grim!”
“This is crazy!”
“We don’t have a choice.”
Closing my eyes I got on and held on for dear life. “Do you know how to fly this thing?”
“No.”
“NO!?”
“How hard can it be?”
It was exhilarating. I felt like we were flying with the stars. I laughed. “This is awesome!!!”
“I know right.”
Caspian turned toward me grinning like a fool.
I smiled at him, and he kissed me.
The broomstick swerved out of control, and we crashed in a garden. A pumpkin garden. Caspian and I had completely destroyed it.
“We have to get out of here!” His voice was panicked.
“Why?” I asked.
“MY PUMPKINS!!!!!!” A tinkling voice screamed in agony.
“That’s why!” Caspian swore.
I turned around expecting to see a giant or a troll or something scary instead I saw a tiny little woman covered head to toe in hot pink sparkles. She had little wings which were flapping angrily.
“What is the meaning of this?” She asked.
“My pardons, Bibidi.”
“Caspian! Oh, you’ll be lucky if I don’t turn you into a slug for this.”
“It was an emergency.”
“Like that’s an excuse! How is anyone going to get to the ball without pumpkins!”
I was trying to disappear into the shadows while she was scolding Caspian.
She poofed right in front of my face. “Where do you think you’re going!” She cried.
“Um, away.”
“I don’t think so. Both of you must pay for what you’ve done. And by the way who are you?”
“Grim.”
“You can’t curse her, Bibidi. She’s the new author.”
The fairy godmother’s eye twitched angrily. “I might not be able to curse her, but I can make her suffer. And you, Caspian, have played your final trick.”
I think I passed out. I was all alone when I woke up. I was dressed in the most ridiculous dress imaginable. Floofy and sparkly and so inconvenient.
Caspian was nowhere to be seen.
“Caspian? Caspian! Where are you!” I never found him. I looked, but he was gone. I’ve never stopped trying to find him.
He helped me out when my story was just beginning, and I’d do anything to finish his story.
Hook’s ship was straight ahead.
I tried to take off the stupid, frilly dress, but I was cursed so it didn’t come off. I had to swim in that thing all the way to the ship.
I don’t think I’ll ever forgive Bibidi for that. Climbing aboard was difficult too because of the dress, but eventually I managed it. After that it was a piece of cake. Sure, I was chased by pirates; Hook vowed to throw me to the sharks; and all of that running in glass slippers gave me blisters. But I got the pen, and I wrote one word: HOME.
So now you know the Pumpkin Incident of 1975.
Not Your Average Playlist
Chapter 1: I Lose My Shoe
Up by Shania Twain
Chapter 2: A Pen, a Grim, and a Hook—Oh, My!
Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
Chapter 3: Crap! Apparently, I'm a Princess
Bluebird by Miranda Lambert
Chapter 4: I Got a Dud for a Prince
Kiwi by Harry Styles
Chapter 5: A Girl's Heart Can Not Be Bought
July by Noah Cyrus
Chapter 6: Need a Hand?
Nice to Meet Ya by Niall Horan
Chapter 7: Hook's Back Ground Check
Demons by Imagine Dragons
Chapter 8: At the Ball
At the Ball from the Disney movie, Cinderella 3
Chapter 9: Curses
Black Magic by Little Mix
Chapter 10: He Loves Me; He Loves Me Not
He Don’t Love Me by Winona Oak
Chapter 11: Broken Hearts
Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish
Chapter 12: Drunken Confessions, Purring Dragons, and Broken Rules
Break the Rules by Charlie XCX
Chapter 13: Rakish Rouge
Mess with My Head by Miranda Lambert
Chapter 14: The Battle
Not in the Same Way by 5 Seconds of Summer
Chapter 15: Conflicted Emotions
Not Myself by John Mayer
Chapter 16: An Explanation of Sorts
Lost Boy by Ruth B.
Chapter 17: The Little Mermaid
Have You Ever Seen the Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Chapter 18: What Do You Mean Kissing Doesn't Break Curses?
Dancing with Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan
Chapter 19: Love Is Sacrifice
If You Want Love by NF
Chapter 20: Hooked on a Feeling
Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede
Chapter 21: Poor Unfortunate Souls
Poor Unfortunate Souls from the Disney movie, the Little Mermaid
Chapter 22: Family Reunions Suck
Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots
Chapter 23: Closure
I Want More by Kaleo
Chapter 24: Part of Your World
Part of Your World from the Disney movie, the Little Mermaid
Chapter 25: Wedding of the Century
Wouldn't It Be Nice by the Beach Boys
Chapter 26: After Happily Ever After
Best Part of Me (feat. Yebba) by Ed Sheeran
Chapter 27: Our Five
Sunflower by Harry Styles
Chapter 28: The End
Sunscreen by Ira Wolf
Acknowledgments
For God for giving me the words to write.
To my parents for always letting me be a princess.
To Grandma B for being the best editor!
To Em for coming up with the title.
For Hush Puppy I wish you were here.
For my teachers for making me an even better writer.
For Abbie and Abby for being the first to read this fairy tale.
For anyone who took the time to read this book. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
