Elliot then spent the next half hour retelling his story. When he’d finished, Reverend Winston nodded. “I see. That was a tragic event, Elliot, but you’ve blamed God for every bad thing in your life since then.”
“Yes, that’s right. I’ve been reading the Bible today, but I have a hard time trusting a God who allows such horrible things to happen.”
“We live in a broken world, Elliot. Sin, suffering, and death still hold sway, and not until Christ returns will they be completely vanquished. In this world we will never understand why God allows suffering, but we have to trust Him that everything that happens has a purpose and meaning, even if we are not allowed to see during our lifetime what that purpose is. You left God and the church, but He’s right there waiting for your return. He’s never left you for one minute of your life, and He grieves with you for Angela because He understands the pain you’ve experienced.”
Elliot had heard it all before, but somehow, coming from Reverend Winston, it had a different tone. “Do you think God can forgive me for blaming Him for what happened?”
“Oh, yes, Elliot. It’s called grace and mercy. He has mercy on us and by His grace forgives our sins.”
“I remember giving my heart to the Lord and asking Him to forgive me when I was a boy, but this was just so big and I was so angry with God.”
Reverend Winston placed a hand on Elliot’s shoulder. “All you have to do is ask, Elliot. Let me pray for you now.” And he began, “Father God, my brother Elliot has strayed far from You and lost trust in You. I pray that You will now restore the joy of his salvation and grant him the peace that only You can provide. Help him to understand that You forgive all sins when confessed before You. Guide his feet from this day forward, and lead him into the life that You have planned for him. Amen.”
The words from the prayer washed over Elliot like clean, pure water and cleansed his soul of all the hate and bitterness he’d held on to for so long. After the final word, Elliot stood and shook hands. “Thank you, Reverend. I need to do a lot of thinking about what to do next and where to go from here.”
The minister grinned and walked with him to the door. “Don’t forget to pray along with that thinking.”
Once again on the street, Elliot’s heart weighed lighter in his chest, but the indecision about what to do about Abigail still plagued him. His guilt over not seeing her remained, but he couldn’t do anything until he found out exactly where she stood with Cory.
His growling stomach reminded him that dinnertime was near. He welcomed the diversion from his thoughts and headed for home.
Aunt Mae came from the kitchen drying her hands on a towel. She stopped at the main dining table with a grin as broad as all outdoors splitting her face. Then she stepped behind Mr. Fuller and placed her hands on his shoulders. “Cyrus and I have an announcement to make.”
Abigail wiggled in her chair. She had a suspicion about the announcement, and Mr. Fuller’s smile and reaching up to hold Aunt Mae’s hand confirmed it.
Mr. Fuller cleared his throat. “Mae Sullivan has consented to become my wife. We are to be married in the early part of the new year.”
Cheers went up around the dining room as everyone gathered around to give their best wishes to the couple. Abigail remained at her place and glanced over at Cory. To say he was surprised would be a gross understatement. His mouth hung open, and his hand gripped his napkin like it was a lifeline and he was drowning. Men. They couldn’t see the obvious right under their noses.
She leaned toward him with her elbows on the table. “Isn’t this just marvelous? Your aunt really deserves to have some happiness with all that she spreads to other people.”
Cory’s mouth snapped closed and his cheeks flamed red. He looked down. “I can’t believe she’s getting married. I knew they went to town socials together, but I had no idea this was going on.”
Abigail bit her lip with the realization Cory still hurt from her rejection on Thanksgiving. “Just be happy for her.”
“I . . . I will.” He shot her an embarrassed glance, then pushed his chair back from the table and approached his aunt. “I’m happy for you, Aunt Mae, and you, Mr. Fuller.” He kissed his aunt and shook hands with the beaming banker. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I must get back to work.” He grabbed up his hat and strode from the room.
Abigail waited until the others had all gone back to their eating or to their own business before she approached the woman who had become like a mother to her.
She reached up to wrap her arms around Aunt Mae’s broad shoulders. “I’m so happy for you. You two make a fine-looking couple.”
“Thank you, sweetie. We’re going to stay here at the boardinghouse. I’ll keep running it and Cyrus will keep working at the bank. It’ll be the best of both worlds.” She stepped back and surveyed the now empty table. “I best be getting these dishes back to the kitchen. Just because I’m getting married doesn’t mean everyone will forget about supper.”
Abigail stacked a few dishes and headed to the kitchen with them. As happy as she was for Aunt Mae, it served only to make her own situation lonelier.
After Aunt Mae had the dishwater hot and the dishes in soaking, she sat across from Abigail. “All right, sweetie, I can tell something’s bothering you. Tell me about it.”
Of course she couldn’t hide anything from Aunt Mae. May as well tell her the truth and see what she had to say. “You know, when I came to Porterfield, it was to be the librarian. I had no designs on a husband even though I knew the town had plenty of eligible men. I wanted to prove myself as a librarian first.”
“Yes, and you’ve done a fine job of doing just that. But there’s something else gnawing at your insides, and I don’t think it has anything to do with books.”
Abigail expelled her breath in a long sigh. “You’re right. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I’ve grown to care about Doc Elliot a lot.” At Aunt Mae’s raised eyebrows, she winced.
“I know, I know. Cory cares about me, but I had to tell him I don’t love him in that way.”
Aunt Mae knit her brows together and pursed her lips. “Hmm, so that’s why he’s been so quiet these past few weeks.”
“I didn’t want to hurt Cory, but my heart belongs to Elliot. He just doesn’t know it yet. I know he used to be a Christian, but he’s mad at God for something that happened in his past. I know I shouldn’t have these feelings for him until he can get his life straight with the Lord, but I can’t help it.”
Aunt Mae nodded. “That young doc is hurting in ways we have no way of knowing. We have to pray for him to make things right with God, and then maybe he’ll begin to see how much you care.”
“Well, it hurts me that he won’t even talk to me. He didn’t treat me at the infirmary, and ever since my return from that kidnapping ordeal, he’s kept as far away from me as possible.” His rejection of her as a patient she could tolerate, but not his complete neglect of her as a person. That stung a little too deeply.
“Seems to me like he cares about you. Leastways it does from what I’ve seen when he’s treating you.” Aunt Mae tapped her cheek. “Maggie Jensen and I are good friends. Maybe I’ll have a visit with her. I want to tell her about me and Cyrus anyway.”
“Thank you, but I don’t want you to pry into his life since he’s made such an issue of keeping it private. Still, I do wish I knew what caused the pain I saw.” She stood and leaned over to hug Aunt Mae.
“I have to get back to the library and open up for the afternoon. Thank you for listening, and congratulations again for you and Mr. Fuller.”
Once outside, she pulled her coat tighter. Clouds had rolled in to cover the sun and chilled the air. A wind gust threatened to lift her hat from her head, and she grabbed at it with her free hand. Such a dreary afternoon to match her mood. She needed the Lord’s guidance as to what to do about Elliot. Praying hadn’t done much so far, but she wouldn’t give up on him. Somehow, sometime, a breakthrough would come, and whatever haunted him from the past wo
uld be forgotten in the promise of what lay ahead.
After the noon meal, Elliot returned to the infirmary with a much lighter heart. A lot of questions had been resolved, but many more were still left to be answered. One of them was exactly what he would say to Abigail or how he could find out her feelings for Cory Muldoon.
He didn’t want to spoil her happiness, but now that he was ready to admit his love for her, he longed for her to return it. He shoved his hands into his pockets to warm them because in his haste he’d forgotten his gloves. December usually brought cold weather, but he had known it to be much milder. Today the crisp air supported the new buoyancy of hope in his heart.
“Hey there, Doc Elliot.”
Elliot whipped around to find Cory headed his way. He didn’t want to talk to or be civil to Cory, but now would be as good a time as ever to find a few answers. “Hello, Cory. What can I do for you?”
“Nothing really. I’m just making my rounds in town to keep people on their toes.” His grin accented the twinkle in his eyes.
Elliot only nodded. If Abigail caused that bright look on Cory’s face, it would be the end of any hope for a relationship with her. Might as well find out now and not prolong the uncertainty. “Something seems to be making you very happy about now.”
Cory laughed and shook his head. “Aunt Mae announced just a bit ago that she and Cyrus Fuller are getting married. Don’t that beat all?”
Elliot’s mouth dropped open before he grinned as broadly as Cory. “Aunt Mae and Cyrus? But I can’t say I’m really surprised after the way she took care of him when he was hurt in that bank robbery.”
“Yep, looks like it’s been brewing for a while, and I’m happy for her.”
“And Abigail? What about her?” From the perplexed look on Cory’s face, Elliot’s question made no sense, but how else could he raise the subject?
“She’s happy for them too,” Cory said. “Why do you ask?”
Elliot shrugged but watched Cory’s expression with care. Cory’s eyebrows bunched and stared right back at Elliot. “You haven’t seen Miss Abigail since her ordeal, have you?” Cory asked point-blank.
Heat flooded Elliot, and he looked away from Cory’s prying eyes.
Cory pushed the brim of his hat back just a tad and raised his eyebrows. “Well, I think you need to be seeing her soon. She let me know that I wasn’t included in her future plans and gave me the impression someone else was.”
Elliot gulped and his eyes opened wide. “You’re . . . you two aren’t . . .” He stopped and stared at Cory.
“Nope. She turned me down flat.” Then he pointed a finger at Elliot. “Now, if I was you, I’d get myself over to see her pronto. If she doesn’t return my feelings, then I hope she does for you.” He clapped his hand on Elliot’s shoulder. “She may be just what you need to bring some joy into your life. She certainly brought it into mine.”
Cory swung up onto his horse and headed for the courthouse while Elliot stood in dumbfounded silence. If Abigail didn’t care for the one who had saved her from an awful fate, how could she care about him? Still, almost all the questions rolling through his mind the past half hour had been answered. Now what was he going to do about finding the answers to the rest of them?
CHAPTER THIRTY
ABIGAIL STUDIED THE shelves and shook her head in disbelief. The people of Porterfield had been more than welcoming of the library, and her shelves this week showed it in a big way. More than half of the books were checked out, and another huge stack waited to be shelved. People were filling the long winter nights with the joys of a good story. Could there be anything better?
The bell over the door jangled, and Abigail looked up to see Rachel closing the door behind her. Her friend’s cheeks were rosy from the cold temperatures that had finally arrived, and her belly swelled with the baby she carried.
“Hello, and what brings you out in this cold weather today?”
Rachel strolled over to gaze at the shelf of Christmas books. “I thought I’d come in and browse and have a chat with my best friend if she’s not too busy.”
Heat rose in Abigail’s cheeks. “I’m not too busy. Come over here and have a seat.” She and Rachel had visited at least once if not twice a week when they lived in Briar Ridge. Since their arrival in Porterfield, those visits had dwindled, and part of it was because of Abigail.
Rachel settled herself on the extra chair and removed her gloves. “It’s been awhile since we’ve had one of our good visits like we did back home. I’ve missed our times together. When I was in Hartford after Nathan and I married, that’s the thing I missed most about home. Then when we moved down here, I missed you even more.”
Guilt at her neglect and attention to business rather than friendship rose in her heart. She’d been responsible for that lack of time together. “I’m sorry I haven’t been more available, but the library kept me fairly occupied these past months.”
“I realize that, but since I was at the church helping to decorate for Christmas week, I thought I’d stop by and chat. Nathan told me how busy you’d been the past few weeks, especially with Christmas so near.”
Laughter spilled from Abigail. “I think everyone started dropping in just to see how I was doing, and then they decided to check out a book. It’s been quite fun.”
“I’m glad for your success. It must give you a great deal of satisfaction.” She tapped her gloves against the back of her hand. “One time when we talked, you told me how you were beginning to care about Doc Elliot. Is that still the case?”
Abigail sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “Yes, but he’s completely ignored me since the bank robbery. I see him come and go from the infirmary, but he doesn’t come over here, and he hides in his office if I stop by to see Kate.”
“Reminds me of when Nathan avoided contact with me because he didn’t want to court the daughter of a minister.”
“Yes, Elliot has something in his past that is eating at him much like Nathan did. I hope it doesn’t take a blizzard for Elliot to come back to the Lord because if it does, it may never happen, as I’m told snowstorms like that don’t get to this part of Texas.”
Rachel laughed. “That’s for certain. Here it is December, and we’re just now having really cold weather. Back home we would have already had several snowstorms.” Rachel reached over and placed her hand over Abigail’s. “Don’t give up on him. If he’s half the man I think he is, it’ll be well worth the wait for him to realize what he must do about his past. I waited months for Nathan, and now I’m so thankful that I did.”
“Kate and Sophia have said the same thing, and I think both of them know more about his past than they will tell me. They just say to keep praying and wait, but it’s wearing on my patience.”
Rachel laughed and stood with her hand on the small of her back. “Patience is one thing you had more of than I did. Look at how many directions I was pulled because it was taking Nathan so long to come back, and even then I wasn’t sure he ever would.”
“I remember.” Those days they’d spent together in the spring of 1888 came back with vivid clarity. If Rachel could wait months for Nathan to make peace with his past, she could do no less with Elliot.
Abigail wrapped her arms around Rachel. “Thank you so much for coming by today. I’ll keep praying and waiting for Elliot.” A grin spread across her face. “If it’s to be, the Lord will take care of it.”
“Oh, my sweet friend, it’s always such a pleasure to talk with you.” She pulled her gloves back on and pushed them down to fit her fingers. “Don’t forget the Christmas party at our house next week. You know how much I love the holiday, so I’m really looking forward to our first one here in Porterfield.”
Abigail walked with Rachel to the door. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” She stepped out onto the boardwalk to wave good-bye as her friend made her way across to Nathan’s law offices. Just as she turned to go back inside to the warmth of the library, she glanced across the street to see Elliot in front o
f the infirmary.
Their gazes locked, and joy flooded her soul. Her heart kicked up a few beats as they stood with the street between them. For the first time in weeks he didn’t immediately turn away from her. Although she couldn’t see his eyes, the way he stood so still staring at her told her he actually saw her and perhaps felt what she did.
A gust of wind kicked up dust on the street and ruffled her hair. She should go inside and get out of the cold, but her feet said no. So she stood, paralyzed by his continued staring at her. Then a brief smile flickered before he finally turned and hurried back inside the infirmary.
The spell now broken, Abigail returned to the library and closed the door behind her. Her heart pounded from the brief encounter. Something had changed, and her instincts said whatever it was had to be good. Now to figure out a way to get close enough to have a conversation. Then she’d be able to tell if her instincts were right.
Elliot slumped against the closed door of the infirmary. Abigail had taken his breath right out of his body and sent longings deep into his heart. Ever since Cory’s revelation, he had debated how to approach Abigail. He must tell her about Angela, and that was the only thing really holding him back. He remembered the Duprees’ letter and how they wished for him to find another love to fill his life. Abigail was that girl, and now he had to figure out a way to make his feelings known.
He made his way to his office and sat at his desk. He needed to work on his patient files, but Abigail filled his mind instead. Twice this week he’d been tempted to march across the street to the library and tell Abigail everything, but each time so many customers had been coming and going, he couldn’t do it. He hadn’t been able to get up the nerve to stop by the boardinghouse and seek her out there either.
He stared at the papers before him, not really seeing the words. After a minute or two he pushed back his chair and grabbed his coat. The hour had come to quit stalling. God had opened the door, and it was time to take action and step through it. Today was as good a one as any to see Abigail and tell her the truth of why he’d been avoiding her.
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