“I told you, when I marry, it will be for love.”
There was a finality in her tone that seemed to slam the door on the subject. But it was the words themselves that struck him hard. She was saying she wouldn’t marry him because she didn’t love him.
Not that he was looking for love from her. It was just, well, didn’t she feel even the least bit of affection?
“Do you mind if I ask you something personal?”
There was something in her tone that told him he wouldn’t like the question. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to deny her, so he gave a short nod.
“What was your wife like?”
Mitch kept his expression carefully neutral, but it took some effort. “The first word that comes to mind when thinking of Gretchen is gentle. She was a very sweet, very delicate woman.”
Ivy nodded. “You must have loved her very much.”
Mitch straightened a few papers on his desk, not meeting her gaze. He had cared for Gretchen, very much. But—
He realized Ivy was still waiting for his answer. “Everyone who knew Gretchen loved her.” He moved a stack of papers on his desk by a half inch. “And she loved me, right up until the day she died, though I never did quite figure out why.”
“I know why.” Her soft words caught him by surprise and he glanced up quickly.
She reddened and turned back to her dusting. “That’s why you’re so set against getting married again, isn’t it? You’re still in mourning and don’t want to go through the pain of losing someone again.” She shot him a look over her shoulder. “But that’s the wrong way to look at it. If you don’t let yourself love again, it’s true you might never again hurt as deeply, but you’ll never find joy, either. And that would be very sad.”
“I’ve asked you to marry me, haven’t I?”
“Because you feel like you must, not because you want to.”
“Why does that matter?”
She shrugged. “Because it does.”
He hesitated a moment. She’d bared her soul to him yesterday. Now it was his turn. “You’re wrong.”
That earned him a startled look.
“About the reason behind my decision to not marry again,” he explained. “It’s not because I mourn Gretchen so deeply. It’s because I killed her.”
Chapter Twenty
Ivy wasn’t certain she’d heard right. “By accident, you mean.”
His lips compressed in a hard line. “It was a deliberate action on my part that led to her death.”
Just as she’d thought. “Then you didn’t kill her. You just feel responsible for whatever happened.” She crossed the room to stand in front of his desk. “Tell me what happened.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “Gretchen didn’t believe in violence, not for any reason, not even in self-defense. She believed one should always turn the other cheek, no matter what. And I tried to live that way, for her sake.”
“Tried?”
“Pacifism doesn’t come easily to me. But I was successful, for a time. Then one of our neighbors, a fellow named Early, started a feud over land boundaries. And no matter how much Gretchen pleaded with me to just give in, I wouldn’t do it. I’d worked that land with my own two hands and I intended it to be a legacy to my children someday.”
“It was your right to stand up for what was yours.”
Mitch continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “The dispute escalated. I took Early to court and won my case. I was quite proud of myself. I’d managed to hold on to my land without resorting to violence.”
He made a sound that was full of self-derision. “But the man’s son decided to ignore the judge’s orders and began tearing down fences. Before I could do anything about it, he broke his neck when his horse threw him. Unfortunately, it happened on my property. When I carried his body back to his father, he didn’t believe it was an accident.”
How awful that must have been—for all parties.
“No matter how I tried to explain, Early blamed me. That night he came riding onto my place all drunk and wild-eyed and ready for blood. Gretchen begged me to stay inside, but I stepped out with my rifle. There was a gunfight and a stray bullet found its way into the house and killed Gretchen.”
His gaze finally met hers again and she was shocked at the bleakness she saw there. “She was carrying our baby at the time,” he said dully.
Jagged shards of horror pierced Ivy’s heart at the thought of what he’d gone through. She came around to his side of the desk and took both of his hands. “Oh, Mitch, I’m so sorry. That must have been terrible for you.” She squeezed his hands. “But her death was not your fault.”
“Wasn’t it? If I had done what Gretchen wanted, if I had turned the other cheek and not taken him to court, Gretchen and the baby would still be alive.”
“You can’t know that for sure.”
“Their chances would certainly have been better.”
“But what would have happened to you?”
“Me? I would have been poorer, but I imagine I would have survived, as well.”
“Physically. But if you had done as your wife wished and let that neighbor run roughshod over you, it would have eaten away at the part of you that needs to take care of your family and build a home that is safe and secure. It would have made you feel less of a man and more than likely affected the way you viewed your relationship with your wife.”
He gave her a self-mocking smile. “Don’t you believe in turning the other cheek, in reserving vengeance for the Lord, the way it says in the Bible?”
“There is a time and place for that. But there is also a time to stand up and defend yourself and your loved ones. And yes, that’s biblical.”
He didn’t seem entirely convinced.
“Mitch, have you prayed about this?”
“I haven’t come to terms with God on this matter yet.” He said this almost defiantly, as if trying to shock her. “I went a little crazy for a while. Nearly killed Early and did some property damage.” His lips twisted in a grimace. “It should have been me who died that night, not Gretchen.”
“Don’t you dare say that. Don’t even think it. God left you here for a reason—don’t try to second-guess Him. It’s hard when we lose our loved ones, but we’ve got to trust that God is in control and that He loves us.” She saw a flicker of doubt in his eyes. “He does love you,” she said firmly. “There’s nothing you can do that He won’t forgive, if you just ask Him to.”
Mitch pulled his hands from hers and stood. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go see how the Hendricks boys are doing.” And with that, he strode from the room.
Ivy stood there for a long time after he’d gone, her heart breaking for him. The story he’d related had been truly heartrending—to have lost not only his wife but his unborn child in such a manner—how had he borne up under such pain? That was a terrible burden to carry all on his own. No wonder he was afraid to give his heart again.
But his thinking was flawed. Somehow she had to make him see that.
It had become her new goal.
* * *
Later that afternoon Ivy answered a knock at Mitch’s door to find Carter Mosley standing there, hat in hand.
“Miss Feagan, could I speak to you for a few minutes?”
She opened the door. “Of course. Come in.”
Mitch stepped out into the hall. “Who is it?” Then he saw Carter and his eyes narrowed. “Is there something I can do for you?”
“Actually, I came to speak to Miss Feagan.”
“Perhaps you should wait to do your talking when the judge arrives.”
Ivy held up a hand. “No, it’s all right. I’d like to hear what he has to say.”
Mitch crossed his arms. “Then I hope the two of you won’t mind if I
sit in.”
“Not at all.” Carter fingered the brim of his hat. “Look, I know I wasn’t very civil last time we spoke, and you have every right to be angry, but I’m sorry for that and I hope you’ll hear me out now.”
Mitch waved an arm toward the parlor. “Let’s talk in here.”
As soon as they took their seats, Carter began. “I won’t lie. I didn’t believe your story. And I’m afraid I acted badly.” He gave her a penitent look. “For that, you have my apologies.”
Ivy relaxed. “Of course. You were grieving your uncle’s death and it was unfair of us to spring that on you so quickly.”
He nodded acceptance of her forgiveness. “I didn’t leave it there. I sent one of the hands, a man I respect, to Nettles Gap to check things out and learn what he could about you.”
Ivy tensed again. Surely he had heard about her ruined reputation. Would he spread the stories here to enforce the current gossip?
“Sonny talked to a number of people there,” Carter continued. “And he learned that you are exactly who you say you are, Robert Feagan’s daughter.”
“And?” At least the story about what Lester had done to her wouldn’t come as a surprise to Mitch.
“And, after reading the papers my uncle left me, including a journal, I’m withdrawing my objections to your claim. I’d like us to settle this matter without going to court.”
Ivy blinked. It was impossible to believe his man hadn’t heard the gossip from Nettles Gap. Why hadn’t he brought it up? But Carter was watching her with something very akin to neighborly sympathy. Was silence on the matter his way of strengthening his apology?
“I’d like that, too,” she said with a more genuine smile.
Mitch leaned forward. “What sort of settlement did you have in mind?”
“Something that will be fair to all parties, that will honor Uncle Drum’s wishes. We can work through the details when we get down to drawing up the paperwork.” He stood. “I need to get back to the ranch, but with your permission, I’ll set up an appointment with Mr. Barr for later in the week. Hopefully we’ll be able to work things out to everyone’s satisfaction in very short order.”
Ivy accepted his outstretched hand and shook it. “That’s my hope, as well.”
“Once we determine what portion of the estate you’re entitled to,” Carter said diffidently, “I hope you’ll consider letting me buy you out.”
Ivy smiled. “Of course. And I want you to know that I don’t intend to take advantage. My pa didn’t put all the hard work into the place that you and your uncle did, so I’m not looking for an even split.”
Ivy was thrilled that they wouldn’t be going to court. And the thought that she would have money to bring back to Nana Dovie...
But her joy was short-lived. Because she was just now realizing that the sooner she and Carter settled, the sooner she’d be on her way back to Nettles Gap. And away from Mitch.
* * *
Mitch listened to the rest of the exchange without comment. It appeared things were going to work out to Ivy’s satisfaction. And while he was happy to see she wouldn’t be going through a contentious legal battle, he wasn’t as happy about what that meant. Once they met with Adam this week, there’d be nothing left to hold her here. She’d be free to return to Nettles Gap and her Nana Dovie...without marrying him.
He couldn’t let her do that. He had a responsibility here, and a reputation of his own to protect. After all, what parent would want their child’s teacher to have a questionable reputation?
He had to convince her to marry him. He simply had to. He was just being practical, after all.
But from somewhere deep inside, a voice whispered, Coward, over and over.
* * *
The next morning, instead of Abigail accompanying Ivy to the mercantile, Reggie “happened” to be going in the same direction. They met Jack and Ira outside the newspaper office and Ivy picked up Mitch’s newspaper. And once again, Ivy felt deep gratitude for the new friends she’d made in Turnabout.
Once she arrived at Mitch’s place, she greeted the Hendricks brothers and invited them to share in her planned lunch of pan-fried chicken and gravy with garden vegetables, then headed inside to fix breakfast for Mitch.
She handed him his newspaper, glad he would have that to occupy him while she cooked breakfast. Perhaps it would keep him from renewing his arguments for why she should marry him before she left.
Ever since she’d realized yesterday that she only had a few days left in Turnabout, the time seemed to be speeding by much too quickly. By the end of the week she’d be headed back to Nettles Gap. For just a moment she’d had a wild urge to send word to Carter to delay their meeting with Adam.
But this little interlude had to end sometime, and perhaps it was better that it happen quickly. Now that the story of their time at the cabin had come to light, it would be less awkward for Mitch if she were no longer around as a reminder.
He could go back to his normal routine. She prayed, however, that he wouldn’t isolate himself so much in the future and that, someday, someone would come along whom he could love enough to share himself with.
Someone sweet, gentle, delicate.
Someone, obviously, unlike her.
Just before lunch, there was a knock at the door. As Ivy bustled to answer it, she grinned. For a man who “never had visitors,” he certainly had received his share of callers lately. Perhaps things were changing for him.
She opened the door and her smile, along with everything inside her, froze.
“Hello, Ivy.”
Lester Stokes, the man who’d ruined her life, stood there, smiling like a fox facing a cornered rabbit.
Chapter Twenty-One
For a moment Ivy couldn’t speak. What in the world was Lester Stokes doing in Turnabout?
“Well,” he said in that cocky drawl she hated, “aren’t you going to invite me in?”
Ivy made no move to step aside. “What are you doing here?”
She saw a flash of irritation in his eyes, but his smile never faltered. He stepped closer. “I really think it would be best—”
He halted abruptly, and Ivy realized Mitch now stood behind her.
He must be an intimidating sight to a bully like Lester Stokes.
“Care to introduce me to your friend?” Mitch’s tone was mild, but Ivy suddenly felt as if nothing bad could touch her.
“Of course. This is Lester Stokes.” She felt Mitch’s subtle stiffening.
“Lester, this is Mr. Mitch Parker, my employer.”
Mitch stepped forward and offered his hand to Lester. “Are you an acquaintance from Nettles Gap?”
Lester quickly withdrew his hand. “That’s right. Ivy and I grew up together.”
Lester gave Ivy a meaningful glance. “If you have a few minutes, I need to talk to you.” He cut a quick glance Mitch’s way. “On a personal matter.”
Mitch leaned against the doorjamb with folded arms, apparently oblivious to Lester’s hints.
Lester frowned in annoyance, then turned back to Ivy.
“I’m afraid I have bad news about Miss Jacobs.”
Ivy’s heart stuttered painfully, her mind dishing up all sorts of awful possibilities. “Is she all right?”
“She fell and hurt herself. Doc says she shouldn’t be alone until she heals. My ma is with her, but I thought you should know as soon as possible.”
“Yes, of course.” She turned to Mitch, her thoughts racing. “I’m sorry. I need to go to her.”
“Tell me what I can do to help.”
Lester spoke up before Ivy could. “Everything is taken care of. I’ve already booked a return passage on tomorrow’s train. And my sister, Dory, is with me—she’s at the hotel right now—so Ivy shouldn’t feel any discomfort
with our traveling together.”
Ivy’s mind was awhirl with disjointed thoughts of things she needed to take care of before she left and images of a hurting Nana Dovie needing her. She should never have stayed away so long. “My meeting with Carter and Adam—”
“I’ll let them know to reschedule.”
“Tomorrow is laundry day—”
“I’m certain Mrs. Pierce will understand.”
“Rufus and Jubal—”
“Ivy.” Mitch took her hands, forcing her to focus on his words. “Don’t worry. I’ll watch over your animals until you return. And I’ll see that those who need to know, do. As for your housekeeping duties—” he gave her a crooked smile “—I’ll manage to cook my own meals and care for my own house just fine.”
She took a deep breath, drawing strength from his supportive presence. “Thank you.”
She turned to Lester and was surprised by the furious look in his eyes. Was he so bothered by the fact that she’d found a friend and champion in Mitch?
“Thank you for bringing me the news. I’ll be ready to leave when the train pulls in tomorrow.”
Mitch eyed Lester critically. “I wonder why you didn’t send a telegram. Miss Feagan could have already made it to Nettles Gap by now.”
Ivy frowned. In her concern over Nana Dovie, she hadn’t thought things through. Mitch was right—why had he come? And why Lester, of all people? He’d be the last person who’d want to do her any favors.
“I thought it best Ivy receive such upsetting news from a friend rather than a telegram,” Lester said. “And I didn’t want her to have to make the trip alone.”
Since when did Lester consider himself her friend? Then Ivy took herself to task. Carter was proof people could change. Perhaps this was Lester’s way of making up for past wrongs.
“I know this has come as a shock,” Lester continued. “Why don’t I escort you to your lodgings so you can rest?”
“Thank you, but if I do that I’ll just go crazy worrying. It’s best I keep busy.” She started to untie her apron. “And I should send Nana Dovie a telegram to assure her I’ll be there tomorrow.”
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