by Dyan Sheldon
Or like I had terminal dandruff.
“Savanna, I am not buying something new for a dance I don’t actually want to go to. And if I was, you know I wouldn’t buy it here.”
She rolled her eyes. “Please! Spare me the high moral principles, Gray. This is going to be a really special night. You’re going to need something festive … and dressy…” She leered. “And sexy. Which means that you, like, totally can’t buy a dress for the Christmas dance in a thrift store. It’s out of the question.”
“Excuse me, Ms Zindle. But I never said I’d go to the dance, remember? I’m still thinking it over.”
She pretended to yawn. “OK, so you’re still thinking it over. But just in case you do decide to go, you’re going to need something to wear, aren’t you?”
“Well, it won’t be this.” Not only was it steeped in toxic chemicals and human misery, it was mega-expensive. Considering how little material there was in it, it was more expensive than gold. I tugged the dress over my head. “I can’t afford it.”
“Of course you can. What about all your babysitting money?”
Most of what I made went straight into the bank – into my Send-Gracie-Mooney-to-College Fund – or paid for my cell phone.
“Well, you could use a little tiny bit of it,” argued Savanna. “Just this once.”
“You know I don’t like impulse buying. I have to sleep on it.” I reached for the hanger. “And I don’t have the money to buy it now, anyway.”
“That’s not a problem. I’ll get it for you.” Savanna’s smile got brighter. “I’ll put it on my mother’s card. You can pay it back whenever.”
“No, I don’t wa—”
“You don’t have to thank me.” Savanna snatched the dress from my hand. “I mean, like, really, what are friends for?”
We were on our way to the cashier when Savanna was distracted by a display she hadn’t seen on our first trawl through.
“Wait a minute, Gray. These are kind of cool.” She handed me the dress and held a pale blue sweater up in front of her. “What do you think?”
“It’s nice.” It was a plain pullover. There wasn’t that much to say about it. Unless it was to point out that it was probably made in China.
She dropped the blue sweater and picked up a beige one. “How about this?”
“That’s nice, too.” Except for the colour, it was exactly the same.
Savanna smooshed her lips together. “Gracie, that is not being helpful. Which one do you like better?”
“I don’t know…” I looked from one to the other. You wouldn’t be able to tell them apart in candlelight. “I guess the blue.”
“Really? What’s wrong with the beige?”
“Nothing’s wrong with the beige. But you asked me my opinion and—”
“Ohmigod!” Savanna’s eyes were focused behind me and transfixed with horror. If we weren’t standing under the fluorescent lights in the leisurewear section of The Clothes Horse, I’d have thought she’d seen a ghost. She clutched my arm. “There’s Archie!” I was pretty sure her nails were making holes in my flesh. “I can’t let him see me.” That would be because she’d told him she was grounded so she could keep the weekend free for the Scheck. Just in case. (I did say she was an optimist.) Savanna dropped to the floor.
For about half a nanosecond, I kept looking at the space where she’d been, and then I slowly turned around. Archie wasn’t alone. He and Cooper were riding down the escalator together.
I felt as if I’d fallen through a hole in the ice. You know, frozen. Now that I knew that everyone thought I was after Cooper, running into Archie and Cooper was embarrassing enough – but running into them with Savanna crouched under a clothes carousel beside me put it into a whole other league of humiliation.
“For God’s sake, Gracie!” hissed Savanna. “Get down before they see you!”
But it was too late.
“Hey, Gracie!” Cooper waved. Like normal. Maybe nobody had told him I was after him.
I waved back.
“Don’t just stand there like you’re made of salt,” hissed Savanna. “Stop them from coming over here!”
I took a deep breath and headed for the escalator.
“Hi!” I put on a big, boy-am-I-glad-to-see-you smile. “What are you guys doing here?” I was looking at Archie. So he wouldn’t get the wrong idea and think I was only interested in talking to Cooper.
“Shopping.” Archie held up the large paper bag he was carrying. “It’s my dad’s birthday next week. So I figured … since I couldn’t see Savanna, I might as well get the shopping ordeal over with. You know she’s grounded, right?”
I said I’d heard. I said that the only way Savanna would get out of the house today would be to set it on fire.
“I’m only here because Archie doesn’t like shopping by himself and he bribed me with lunch,” said Cooper. “What about you? I thought you were mallophobic.”
“I am…” Now I was focusing on a sign that said Winter Fun behind him. But I couldn’t look at him. In case it looked like I was after him. “I just … you know … I had some time on my hands…”
“What’s that?” Archie nodded to my hands – which, unfortunately, were not holding a lot of time. What they were holding was the black dress. “That can’t be yours.” He laughed, but he got that little thought ravine between his eyebrows. Had aliens taken over my body? Did I secretly wear dresses in the privacy of my own home the way Cooper wore sarongs? Or maybe he was thinking: Is she holding it for someone else? Who could that someone be? “Are you with somebody, Gracie?” His eyes flicked back and forth behind me. Looking for someone who was seriously in touch with her inner girl.
“It’s mine.” I jammed it under my arm so it looked more like a T-shirt than a slinky, where-are-those-six-inch-heels-and-the-body-suit? kind of dress. “And of course I’m not with anybody.” Who would I be with? There was only one person I hung out with who would wear something that sparkled, and she was under house arrest. “I’m, you know … by myself.” My voice was squeaking like a cornered mouse.
Cooper was staring at the lump of material under my armpit. “So what’s the dress for?” Now he was frowning. Thoughtfully. “Don’t tell me it’s for the Christmas dance.”
“Well, yeah…” I nodded. “You know. Probably. Unless I decide to wear it when I go climbing in the spring.”
Cooper was still looking pensive. “I thought you said you didn’t want to go to the dance.”
“I didn’t. But, you know, maybe I will. After all, I didn’t say I wouldn’t.” Hahaha. “Savanna can be pretty persuasive.”
Archie joined in my laughter. But nervously. You know, the way you laugh at someone on TV who does something really dumb or gross because you do it, too.
“So was the snake in the Garden of Eden persuasive,” said Cooper. He half-smiled. “I guess it’s lucky Savanna’s never tried to persuade you to rob a bank.”
He sounded like my father. I could hear my dad when I was little saying, If Candy Russo tells you to jump off the roof, are you going to jump? so clearly he could have been standing behind me. Or behind Cooper. I felt like the kind of person who’d swim the Amazon if someone told her to. Someone persuasive.
I tried to laugh, but it came out more like I was gagging.
“I’m only teasing you, Gracie.” He switched to a full smile. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. You know…”
I didn’t know. Know what?
He shrugged. “I guess I thought you’d be coming to the Neighbours’ bash. Everybody’s going to be really disappointed.”
“So what are you doing now?” asked Archie. “I’ve got to buy Dr Doom here lunch. Why don’t you come, too? We’ll give you a ride home.”
“Oh … thanks … I mean, no. I’m not done … you know … I have to pay for this … and I wanted—” What? Wanted to run away? Wanted to drop through the floor? “I wanted to look at some other stuff.”
“Well, meet us when you are done,” s
aid Cooper. “We’ll be over at the taqueria.”
“Yeah,” Archie agreed. “We’ll be there a while.”
“Oh, no … no … that’s all right.” I started shuffling away from them – as if I was being dragged away by The Call of the Shoes. “I mean, I don’t know how long it’ll take me. I’d really like to … I mean, really… But you know, it could take me a couple of hours.” I backed into a carousel of skirts.
“Well, come if you can,” said Archie.
“Yeah.” Cooper untangled a hanger from my bag. “You don’t want me to be stuck talking to Archie all
afternoon, do you?”
“I’ll try,” I lied. “But I don’t think you should count on me.” I put a hand to my forehead. “I think I’m getting one of my headaches.” This was true.
“We’ll get a table for three,” said Cooper. “See how it goes.”
Edging back to the counter of sweaters, I watched them walk away – past the checkouts, past the security guard and out into the plaza.
“The coast’s clear,” I announced.
A head rose over the sweaters. “What does he mean: so was the snake in the Garden of Eden persuasive?” asked Savanna.
Chapter Sixteen
Savanna Has Another Change of Plans
On the day of the Remember the Wampanoag dinner, I was in the basement getting the folding chairs out and cleaning them off when the doorbell rang. It was way too early for guests.
“I’ll get it!” I could hear my father’s footsteps over my head and the front door opening. “Gadzooks!” he cried. “It looks like Savanna Zindle. But it can’t be! The Savanna Zindle I know never arrives ahead of time. Don’t tell me the prophecies of Tavibo are finally coming true and the world’s about to end.”
“Hahaha, Professor Mooney.” Savanna always laughed at my dad’s jokes, even when she didn’t understand them. “My mom was, like, driving this way so I thought I’d come over and give you and Gracie a hand getting everything ready. I figured you could use the help.”
For once, my dad was too surprised to make a joke. “You did?”
“Yeah,” said Savanna. “I’ve been totally looking forward to today. It sounds really cool. My family’s traditions are, like, pretty traditional, you know? I mean, if Hallmark doesn’t make a card for it, then it doesn’t exist. I never even heard of the Wampums before Gracie invited me.”
“Wampanoags,” said my dad.
“I, like, can’t wait to hear your band, too,” Savanna went on. “Gracie says it’s really good. What’s its name? The Woollies?”
Even though he knew she wasn’t kidding around, he laughed. “The Wobblies.” But he didn’t bother trying to explain who they were.
“Is it OK if I put my stuff upstairs?” asked Savanna. “So it’s not in your way?”
“Sure,” said my dad. “Gracie’s in the basement. You can give her a hand with the extra chairs when you’re done.”
So after she’d dumped her bag in my room, Savanna came down to the cellar to give me a hand.
“How come you came over so early?” Not to be rude, but volunteering for work wasn’t something she was known for. I picked up two clean chairs and started up the steps. “Is your family driving you really nuts?” The Thanksgiving holiday was a long one for Savanna because all her grandparents moved in for the entire weekend. Which meant there were four more people to argue with. She’d called me every hour, on the hour, to give me frontline bulletins on how insane they all were.
“You know, for someone who can find something to love in a boa constrictor, you can be very cynical, Gracie Mooney.” Savanna picked up two chairs and followed me. “It just so happens that I couldn’t bear the thought of you slaving away by yourself all afternoon. I mean, you want to have a good time tonight, not pass out from exhaustion.”
I was touched. I looked over my shoulder at her. “I didn’t know you cared.”
“Yes, you did.” She winked. “Anyway, it’s not, like, totally selfless of me, is it? I mean, you’re my best friend. I don’t want to see you die young because you overtaxed yourself. Then I’d be all alone in a hostile world.”
I laughed. You had to love her. Really. There was no choice.
Savanna was at her best that afternoon. Her best was really good. She whistled while she worked. She asked my father questions about the Wampanoags, actually listened to his answers, and complimented him on everything from the shirt he was wearing to the smell of the pies he was baking.
After we swept the front porch and decorated it with baskets of squash and coloured corn, and garlands of the festive leaves of autumn, she stepped back to see how it looked. “It’s totally cool,” she decided. “Zelda would put lights all around the baskets.” Savanna’s mother put lights up for every holiday going. At Christmas, she covered the house in so many lights it could probably be seen from space. “But this is, like, real, isn’t it? You know, gifts from the earth.”
Gifts from the earth? When I said stuff like that, Savanna always said that the only gift from the earth
that she wanted was gold.
“My God,” I joked. “Don’t tell me you’re finally going green?”
Savanna laughed. “You must be wearing me down.”
She didn’t even complain about having to wash the cutlery and dishes by hand. And while we worked she entertained me with true horror stories of Thanksgiving with the Zindles. The arguments over how to roast a turkey, mash potatoes and make cranberry sauce. The battle over which set of dishes and silverware they were going to use (the ones Gus’s parents gave them, or the ones given to them by Zelda’s), which ended with them using the paper plates left over from Sofia’s birthday and plastic knives and forks. How Mrs Zindle Sr threw her apple juice at Mr Zindle Sr because he said that Zelda’s stuffing was better than hers. How Zelda lobbed a bread roll at Gus because he said there was too much paprika in the gravy. “She’s getting worse,” said Savanna. “It won’t be long before she totally loses all rational processes and just howls all the time. Her moods swing more than every five-year-old in this country put together.” I said that maybe it was the menopause. Everybody said it could make you act weird. “Ohmigod!” wailed Savanna. “Just when you think things can’t get any better!” We laughed so much that my dad finally came into the kitchen to see what was so funny.
Then we went upstairs to get ready.
As soon as we got into my room, Savanna collapsed on my bed with a sigh of relief. “Thank God!” she cried. “Alone at last! I can’t keep it in any longer. I thought I was going to explode.”
“Explode?” I thought she meant that she had to use the toilet.
“Don’t be so literal!” She propped herself up on her elbows. “Gracie,” she said, “I have something I’ve been dying to tell you all afternoon. Something of truly awesome importance and juvenation.”
“You mean jubilation?”
She snapped her fingers. “Yes! Jubilation. To be jubilant! To jubilate!” She hugged herself. “Oh, Gracie! Wait till you hear what happened!”
It hadn’t occurred to me to wonder why she was in such a good mood. I just assumed that it was because she was happy to be with me – and because she was excited about remembering the Wampanoags. Maybe it wasn’t Savanna who was the optimist after all.
I leaned against the door. “What?”
“Guess!” She rocked back and forth, hugging herself. “Think of, like, the most fantabulous thing that could ever happen to me.”
I didn’t really want to. I was getting another of my bad feelings. Baby orang-utans were scrabbling through the ruined forest, looking for their mothers and crying.
“Your parents won a round-the-world cruise, but there are only three tickets so they’re leaving you home alone.”
“Better than that.”
“They’ll be gone for ever?”
The honking of deliriously happy geese filled my room. Savanna leapt to her feet. “I have a date with Morgan, Gracie! Can you believe it? I have a
date with Morgan! He got back from his folks sooner than he was supposed to. Isn’t that awesome? So he can see me after all!” She spun around like the heroine in one of those old musicals – you know, the ones where the girls all wear ponytails and full skirts and can’t stop singing. “Oh, I am sooo happy!”
“So when are you seeing him?” My stomach had more knots in it than a macramé bracelet. Which meant that I already knew the answer. Coming early … helping out … admiring squash… Everything was adding up. But I was really hoping that I was wrong. “You’re not going to have to leave too early tomorrow, are you?”
“Oh, I’m not seeing him tomorrow, Gray.” She reached for her backpack and plopped it down on the bed. “Tomorrow, he has to get ready for classes on Monday. I mean, he has, like, a gazillion things to do.” She didn’t look at me as she unzipped her pack. “I’m seeing him tonight.”
I laughed. It was a hollow, so-that’s-what-rainforests used-to-look-like kind of laugh. “What do you mean you’re seeing him tonight?”
“What do you mean, ‘What do you mean’?” She started taking things from her bag. “I mean that I’m seeing him tonight, Gracie.” She flashed me a smile. “You know, like, after the sun goes down?”
“This night?”
“I know it’s, like, really short notice – and I probably should play harder to get – but the point is that he only got back this morning. I only just found out myself.”
That wasn’t the point I was concerned about.
“But you’re spending tonight with me.”
“Of course I am. I mean, I’m here, right? I’m just not going to spend like the whole night with you. I’m going to spend some of it with Morgan.”
Had she cloned herself? Had she discovered how to defy the laws of science by being in two places at once?
“What are you, a necromancer?”
“I’m a romancer!” She threw her arms around me as best she could, since I still had my back against the door. “Oh, Gracie, I knew you’d understand. And it’s not like I’m going to be gone all night. It’ll just be for a couple of hours. But I have to see Morgan. I mean, if I don’t see Morgan I think my heart will break into, like, millions of pieces. And it has been nearly two weeks, Gracie. That’s a really long time when you’re in love.”
