by Dyan Sheldon
“What did you tell Cooper, Savanna?” My hands were shaking, but my voice was as still as stone.
“Cooper?” Savanna blinked the last few tears away. “I didn’t say anything to Cooper.” She laughed. “I didn’t even know he was here.”
“Yesterday, Savanna. What did you say to him yesterday to make him break our date?”
“Nothing.” She slid her bag over her shoulder. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. You told Marilouise last night that I wasn’t going to the Neighbours’ party.”
“I never said that.” She didn’t so much as glance at Marilouise. “All I said was that I wished you weren’t going. That’s all I said.”
It was Candy Russo’s twelfth birthday. Candy told me she wasn’t having a party that year. I was already in Middle School, but I’d stopped by to give her the present I’d bought her. There were balloons tied to the front door. Through the living-room window, I could see more balloons, and streamers, and kids running around and laughing. I stood there, pretty much cemented to the front path, until someone noticed me, and Candy suddenly appeared in the window. She gazed back at me for a second or two, and then she turned away. My eyes were on Savanna, but what I saw was Candy Russo’s face staring back at me, blank with lies – and not caring at all how much she’d hurt me. That’s why Candy Russo had been the worst best friend I’d ever had. Until now.
“And anyway,” Savanna went on, “Cooper’s your friend, not mine. He doesn’t even like me. I mean, what could I say to him to make him break your date?”
I was talking to the wrong person. “That’s what I’m going to find out,” I said.
My heart was pretty much stampeding and the tears were kind of dripping down my face, but I tried to get a hold of myself as I hurried through the night, taking deep breaths and wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my coat. I didn’t want one of Cooper’s parents to open the door and find a hysterical midget in somebody else’s dress standing there. I wanted them to see a nice, polite, smiling girl. Hi, I’d say. I’m really sorry to bother you, but I’m a friend of Zeb’s. You know, from school? And I really need to talk to him. I wanted to be invited in; not have the door slammed in my face. Probably, he’d be in his room. Brooding. He wouldn’t want to see me, but I’d make him listen. I rehearsed what I’d say. I’d say we needed to talk. I’d say this calmly – and reasonably. There’s been a mistake, I’d say. A big misunderstanding. I had no idea. I can explain.
I’d never been to Cooper’s house, but I knew which one it was. Everybody did. It was the one that was painted aquamarine and had handmade whirligigs lined up across the edge of the lawn instead of a fence. His parents were eccentric, too.
It was Cooper who answered the door. He must have been coming from the kitchen because he had a steaming mug in his hand.
He didn’t say “hello”, and he didn’t smile. He said, “What are you doing here, Gracie? You’re supposed to be at the dance.”
And I didn’t say any of the things I’d planned to say in a calm and reasonable way, either. I said, “What did she tell you, Cooper? What did Savanna say?”
“I don’t want to have this conversation.” He had his eyes focused on the top of my head.
“Just tell me what she told you.”
He refocused over my shoulder. “You know what she told me.”
He took a step back, as if he really was going to slam the door in my face, but I pushed past him into the hallway before he could. Short, but fleet of foot.
“No, I don’t know. Would I ask you if I knew? Would I be here?” I could hear my voice rising. “I didn’t even know for sure that she had said anything. I was guessing.” Now I was officially shouting. “That’s why you have to tell me. You can’t just shut down on me without saying why.”
He glanced behind him. “Damn and tarnation, Gracie,” hissed Cooper. “Could you lower your voice? My parents are going to think I’m hurting you or something.”
I said that he was hurting me. I was trying not to start crying again.
“All right, all right…” He nodded. Grudgingly. “Just don’t yell or anything.”
Cooper walked Savanna home from Archie’s on Friday afternoon. He was telling her about Neighbours and how much everybody there liked me and stuff like that, and all of a sudden she launched into a speech about how much I hated to let people down, and how I was too nice for my own good, and how I was always trying to please everybody, and how I let people push me around. “I figured she meant besides her,” said Cooper, “so I asked her who we were talking about.” And Savanna said they were talking about him.
“She said that you’d only said you’d go to the party with me because you two had that stupid fight, and that really you wanted to go to the dance, but that you couldn’t tell me the truth because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings. She said that you liked me, but not like that. Because I’m so weird.”
“And you believed her? Why would you believe her?”
“What do you mean, why would I believe her?” He sounded as if I was the most unreasonable person he’d ever met. “Why wouldn’t I believe her? You walked out of Neighbours the other day without thinking twice about me or how I’d feel – just because she called you.”
“She needed me.”
“We had a date.”
I did that thing where you laugh even though no one has said anything funny. “Yeah, but it wasn’t a real date.”
“It was to me,” said Cooper.
“It was?” I had that punched-in-the-stomach feeling again. “Well, how was I supposed to know that? Did you say that? You never said—”
“Oh, come on, Gracie…” I really wished that he’d smile. Even half a smile – or a quarter of a smile. Just so I knew he could still do it. “It’s been pretty obvious how I feel about you. Right from day one. Why did you think I went into Java after you that day? Why did you think I asked you to go to Neighbours with me?”
I said, because I’d thought he felt sorry for me.
“Felt sorry for you? Why the heck would I feel sorry for you?” He could still smile. “You’re the coolest girl I’ve ever known.”
“I am?”
“Yeah, of course you are.” If he’d been, say, Clark Gable in It Happened One Night, he would have pushed his hat back and scratched his head in complete bewilderment. “Only I never got to talk to you alone, did I? You were always with her. I thought that if I could get you to come to Neighbours and we spent some time together…”
“You did?”
“Damn and tarnation, Gracie. Why do you think I started coming to school early? Because I couldn’t get enough of Savanna’s laugh? And did you think I couldn’t write the language programmes by myself?”
It didn’t look as if I’d been doing much thinking at all.
“So why did you believe Savanna?” I was shouting again. “I thought you were so smart. Why would you listen to anything Savanna says? You know what she’s like.”
“And you don’t?” Cooper was shouting too. “But you listen to her. You do anything she says.”
“No, I don’t!” I screamed back. “Not any more.”
A door opened and Mrs Cooper stuck her head into the hall.
“Are you all right, Zeb— Oh!” She looked at me. Surprised. “Oh, you must be Gracie.” Apparently, Cooper talked about me to everyone but me. She looked at Cooper. Bemused. “Does this mean you’re going to the party after all?”
Cooper looked at me.
“Yes,” I said. “If we hurry, we can still get some of the three-bean salad.”
* * *
Cooper slipped his hand into mine as we walked into the night together. It wasn’t foggy, but it was starting to snow.
“Hey, Gracie,” said Cooper. “Do you think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship?”
The correct answer, of course, was Casablanca – Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Berman and Claude Rains.
But all I said was, “
Yes.”
After
There’s some famous poem about the world ending not with a bang but with a whimper, and that’s pretty much how it was with my friendship with Savanna. There was no big fight or drama or anything like that. She called me the next day to say that she was sorry. She said that she really hadn’t thought she’d said anything to Cooper – all she’d done was tell him what I told her – but, after I left like that, she got to thinking about it and she could see that maybe she’d gone over the line a little. I said that she’d gone so far over the line, she was in a different state. “I was just trying to protect you,” said Savanna. “From yourself.” I said that I didn’t think I was the one I needed protection from. But I said that I forgave her. And I did. I didn’t need her approval any more. I was done.
We were still friendly after that, but we weren’t really friends. I’d got into the summer project in Costa Rica, so besides getting ready for that, I was spending a lot of time with Cooper, and since Savanna had broken up with Archie, she was eating lunch with other people and hanging out with them. We’d already got out of the habit of walking to school together and meeting up before classes started. Which made it easy for us just to drift apart, her going her way and me going mine. We’d see each other at school and we’d chat or whatever, but that was it. No more sleepovers where we sat up talking half the night. No more hours on the phone after supper. No more “more”. Sometimes, I still missed her a lot – but I figured I’d get used to it.
A couple of days after I got back from Costa Rica, I went into town to pick up the pictures I’d had developed. I couldn’t wait to show them to Zeb and my dad. The two of them came to the airport to pick me up, hauling a big sign that said “Bienvenida, Gracie” between them, and tonight they were making me a special welcome-home supper. They were really excited, whispering together like a couple of little kids on Christmas Eve. Not only wouldn’t they tell me what it was they were making, they wouldn’t even let me into the kitchen to fix myself a cup of tea. So I’d come into town to get out of their way.
I’d stopped just outside the store and was sticking the envelopes of photographs into my backpack when I heard someone shouting my name. Urgently.
I looked up. On the other side of the road, a girl was smiling at me and jumping up and down. “Gracie! Gracie!” It took me a second to recognize her. She wasn’t a blonde the last time I saw her.
“Be careful!” I yelled, as Savanna hurled herself into the traffic.
Laughing, she ran across the street, waving her hands at the cars that were honking at her as though they were in her way.
“Gracie! Ohmigod! Marilouise said you were back!” Savanna threw her arms around me, whacking me with her bag. “I was going to call, but I’ve been, like, sooo busy. I mean, it’s been the most hectic summer.” She pulled out of the hug. “You can’t imagine, Gracie. It’s just been gogogogogo the whole time. I learned how to sail – well, you know, how not to get hit by the boom or anything – and I went scuba-diving and I even went camping, can you believe it?” She did her happy goose laugh. “But not in a tent, of course. I don’t want you to think I’ve gone all weird. In a cabin right on this, like, incredible lake.” She paused for a smile. “Did you have a great time in Guatemala?”
“Costa Rica.” I laughed. “Yeah, it was terrific. But I’m really glad to be home. I—”
“Look at you!” She took a step back and held me at arm’s length. “You are sooo tanned!” She lunged forward for another hug. “I am, like, so glad to see you!”
“I’m glad to see you, too.” I was. But it was then it hit me that I hadn’t thought of her once while I was away. I’d used up all my missing on Cooper and my dad. “You look great.”
“Really? It was one of my impulses – you know what I’m like.” She touched her hair. “You don’t think it’s too much?”
“No.” I knew what she was like, all right. “It looks really good.”
“You look great, too.” She laughed. “You know, in a riding-sea-turtles kind of way. And I am, like, totally desperate to hear all about your trip and the lizards and everything.”
“I just got my photos.” I patted my bag. “What about an iced tea or something? I have a little time before I—”
“Oh God, Gracie, I’d love to, but I can’t.” Savanna smooshed her mouth in disappointment. “I have, like, a big date tonight.” She laughed. “You know how long it takes me to get ready.” She rolled her eyes and laughed again. “I guess I’ll never change.”
“Well an—”
“Yeah, before school starts. I’ll call you. Tomorrow. Swear on a bear.” She threw her arms around me again. “Kisskiss, byebye.”
“Kisskiss, byebye.”
I watched her launch herself back into the road.
She turned for a second when she reached the kerb. “It was great seeing you!” she called. And then she strode down the sidewalk – turning heads – swinging and swaying and shining in the sun. My worst best friend.
She never will change, I thought.
It was lucky that I had.
Dyan Sheldon is the author of many books for young people, including Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen; My Perfect Life; And Baby Makes Two and I Conquer Britain, as well as a number of stories for younger readers. American by birth, Dyan lives in North London.
For Chiqui and Judy
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously. All statements, activities, stunts, descriptions, information and material of any other kind contained herein are included for entertainment purposes only and should not be relied on for accuracy or replicated as they may result in injury.
First published 2010 by Walker Books Ltd
87 Vauxhall Walk, London SE11 5HJ
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Text © 2010 Dyan Sheldon
Cover photograph © 2010 Nonstock/Photolibrary Group
The right of Dyan Sheldon to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
This book has been typeset in Berkeley
Printed and bound in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmittedor stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, taping and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data:
a catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978-1-4063-0420-6
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