“What the heck?” As she opened the case, the sound again came and Suzy felt the front pocket vibrate. Sticking her hand in, she pulled out his cell-phone. “Ah ha, got ya! Pretty tricky aren’t you?” Ok, you’re talking to a cell phone, maybe it’s time for some breakfast, the low blood sugar is getting to you.
The phone again buzzed in her hand. She frowned down, looking at the display. It showed fifteen missed calls and twenty text messages. Good grief, had something happened? Should she go wake Gray and have him check his phone? She hated to do that knowing he was tired from the travel and um…other things. She didn’t know his password to check the messages, but she could read the first few texts to make sure everything was ok. She hit the button to display the test messages and was even more concerned. They were all from the same person. Had something happened to Nick or his parents?
When she opened the first one, she felt the floor start to shift under her. She was back in her apartment a year ago reading Jeff’s messages and having her whole world collapse around here. Somehow the pain she felt then was nothing compared to the pain she felt now. The first message simply said, ‘call me lover.’ As her hand trembled, she clicked on the second message, ‘remember that night in your house, we didn’t get much sleep did we lover?’ She tried to stop herself from looking at another text, but it was like a train wreck she was helpless to avoid. With another click, the rest of her world fell away. ‘I’m lying here stroking my body remembering the feel of you inside of me.’
Suzy dropped the phone as if it were a snake and hobbled to the bathroom, bile rushing from her throat in waves. She heard her name being called from another room, but was unable to get control of her stomach. Gray rushed in the bathroom, a pair of shorts riding low on his hips. “Baby, are you ok?” He pulled her hair back, from her face as she was sick one last time. She tried to pull away from him but he held onto her arm tightly as if afraid she’d collapse. “Baby, what happened? Are you finished?”
Tears flowed out of her eyes and down her cheeks. Gray grabbed a wash cloth from the vanity and wet it. He gently smoothed her hair back and cleaned her face. His eyes mirrored his concern as he finished with her face and lifted her chin. “Would you prefer to go back to bed or maybe the couch?”
Suzy looked at the face of the man she loved and wondered how he could look so concerned for her when he’d apparently been with someone else while he was away. Maybe it didn’t take him two weeks to finish up after all. He could have been in Charleston part of the time with whoever sent him the text messages. Did everyone know but her? Nick, Claire, Jason and Declan had all mentioned his trip at dinner the previous evening. Had he fooled them all or were they covering for him? There was no way Nick didn’t know, they were too close. That thought hurt almost as much as Gray’s betrayal. She trusted Nick and had started to think of him as a brother. Had he been playing her too, covering for his brother?
She used what strength she had left to pull away from Gray. She saw the confusion and concern as he tried to figure out what was going on. She hobbled back out to the kitchen and stood next to his cell phone that she’d dropped. Stopping to stand in front of her he frowned. “Baby, what the hell is going on?”
She looked down at the phone and his gaze followed hers. She saw his shoulders stiffen as if calculating what she knew. When he looked up into her eyes, he knew. Was her life destined to be ruined by a cell phone again and again? First Jeff and now Gray?
Gray felt his whole world falling apart. Last night had been the single most amazing night of his life and he’d wakened this morning reaching for Suzy. The love he felt for her overwhelmed him. He’d planned to tell her today, but that wouldn’t happen now, she’d never believe him with the timing. He didn’t have to look at his phone to know what she’d found. Reva had had his new number for several days now and since he’d planned to tell Suzy all about it, he hadn’t seen the need to try to get the number changed again. He deleted the messages and texts each day without even reading them. He didn’t think Suzy would dig through his brief-case looking for his phone for no reason. She must have heard a call or text coming through.
His gut clenched to see what that had done to her. There were tears on her cheeks and even worse, she’d been physically sick. He felt like the lowest piece of pond scum. His omission had done this to someone he loved more than his life. He should have trusted her and never let it get to this point. Squaring his shoulders, he prepared to do what he should have done weeks ago, tell her the truth. “Suzanna, let’s go sit in the living-room and talk.”
As he tried to take her hand, she hid it behind her back, knowing it was childish, but if he touched her, she’d fall apart. Sarcasm was her only defense and she prepared to wield it for protection as she had so many times before. “Wow, why am I only Suzanna when someone has screwed around on me? You know I think Jeff called me the same thing when he saw me holding his cell phone and knew he was busted. It looks like you have committed a pretty big offense, are you sure you wouldn’t rather call me Ms. Denton?”
Gray saw through the flippant words to the hurt lying underneath them. She was close to the edge and if he had a prayer of saving what was between them, he had to get through to her now. The walls were going up and he knew that once they were firmly in place, he’d never reach her again. He had to get her to sit down long enough to listen and there was only one way to do that, make her his captive audience. He leaned down and scooped her up in his arms before she had time to dodge him.
Suzy sputtered, trying to twist out of his arms. “Stop it,” Gray demanded. “You’re going to hurt yourself. I’m putting you on the couch and you’re listening to me damnit, you owe me that much.”
When he sat her on the couch, she quickly scooted away, intending to go to the bedroom and shut the door until she could get Beth to pick her up. “I don’t owe you anything Gray; you screwed some other woman and then came straight back here to me. Should I be grateful that you had time to fit me in? I’ll give you credit, you have some stamina there, slick, it’s actually quite impressive.”
Suzy was incensed when Gray actually put his hand over her mouth to stop the flow of words pouring out of her. He enunciated each word harshly, “STOP IT NOW!”
At that moment, the front door opened and Nick and Beth came walking into the living room stopping in shock at the scene before them. “What’s going on, bro?”
Gray threw them a look that had them both backing up. “Leave now.” Then as if almost an after-thought he added, “Please.”
Suzy started to struggle, trying to tell her sister to wait for her. Beth took a hesitant step forward before Nick put his arm on hers, halting her. Suzy knew by the look on his face that he knew what was going on and her heart broke a second time that morning. “Let’s go Beth, they need some time alone.” She could hear Beth protesting as Nick led her back out the door.
When the front door closed again, Gray looked down at her and closed his eyes wearily for a few moments before opening them again. “I know you’re angry and I know you aren’t going to believe me at first, but please just listen to the whole story. I promise you, baby, I haven’t cheated on you, just please listen to me.” As she started to protest, he held up his hand. “Please, if you care anything about me and us just listen to what I have to say.” He started back at the very beginning from when he’d met Suzy and how drawn he was to her. He admitted that he’d gone out with Reva just to take his mind off of her. He’d been afraid that they were never going to be together and had decided to go out with Reva after she pursued him. There were never feelings involved and it was just casual dates. When he got to the part where he slept with her one time, the only outward reaction from Suzy was the clenching of her fists.
He took a moment to catch his breath and studied Suzy’s reaction. Her eyes were carefully averted from his as she stared out the door. He continued the story telling her about breaking it off with Reva and the barrage of phone calls, texts and visits. He admitted that he’d f
elt guilty for letting it go that far and had been hesitant to report it to the authorities. He also ended the story telling her of his fear of her finding out and pulling away from him.
Suzy sat beside him not moving a muscle. Gray didn’t know whether to be encouraged that she’d given up trying to get away from him or scared that she seemed so lifeless. He decided to stay quiet and give her time to work everything out in her head. She sat beside him looking incredibly small and fragile in his big shirt.
Suzy’s heard was spinning and her stomach was again churning. Out of everything she’d imagined this was a scenario that had never entered her mind. It was too farfetched to be made up. It hurt that he’d kept this from her, but what truly killed her was imagining Gray with the other woman, possessing her body just as he had hers. She knew that she’d no right to feel that way, but she did. There had never been a commitment between them and there certainly wasn’t when this happened. Maybe in some part of her fantasy world, she thought Gray had been in Charleston for this past year pining over her when in reality he had been living his life which included dating and having sex with someone else.
She still couldn’t look Gray in the eyes. She knew he was waiting for her to say something and she could also feel his fear. Still looking straight ahead, she quietly asked, “Who else knows? Obviously Nick, I could see it on his face this morning, but who else?”
Gray’s voice had taken on her same low tone; as if afraid he’d frighten her away. “Yes, Nick knows and also Jason. I’m sure there are others, such as security at Mericom and at my home in Charleston. It would have been impossible to hide it from Nick and Jason with Reva making a scene at Mericom on a regular basis. Don’t be angry at either of them, they wanted you told before I went out of town.” Gray took a deep breath and continued, “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. This is exactly what I was afraid would happen and I’ve made it that much worse by letting you find out the way you did.”
As he laid a hand on her shoulder, Suzy pulled away. “I can’t talk about this right now, Gray, I need some time to think.” At his look of despair, she added, “I’m not leaving; I just have to be by myself for a while. Could you please get my crutches for me?” She could tell that he wanted to argue, but he quietly got up and retrieved her crutches from the kitchen. By the time he returned, she was standing beside the couch and she took the crutches from his hands. When she reached the bedroom door, she turned around finally facing him and said, “Please just let me have this time, I’ll come out when I’m ready. Go to work if you need to, I’ll be fine.” The door shut quietly behind her and Gray stood staring at it for a few moments before walking outside to sit on the deck.
~~~
Suzy closed the bedroom door and leaned against it studying the room. The bed was still rumpled from their night together. Who would have thought that things would fall apart so quickly? She couldn’t bear to sit there so she walked over to the chaise lounge in front of the windows and settled herself against the cushions. Where did they go from here? She could pack her bags and have Beth pick her up. It would be difficult to navigate the steps to her condo, but she was more mobile now than she’d been a few weeks ago.
If she left though, was it the official end of whatever this was that she had with Gray? Was she ready for it to be over? She couldn’t stay here with him if she felt as if he’d cheated on her. Maybe she was punishing Gray for Jeff’s sins. Although if she thought back, she’d never felt the crushing devastation that she’d felt when she read the messages on Gray’s phone. Jeff had thrown her for a major loop. Maybe one of the main reasons, though, was she just truly never thought Jeff had it in him to be anything other than a straight arrow. Did it upset her because she had been in love with him or was it more shock that he’d dared deviate from who she thought he was? All that she knew was that it didn’t hold a candle to the gut-wrenching pain of imagining a life without Gray in it.
Suddenly, a smile covered her face as she remembered a line she used to tell Claire often when she was encouraging her to get a life. ‘Put your big girl panties on.’ Well maybe it was time she took her own advice. She got up from the chaise and hobbled to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and wondered who the pathetic person staring back at her was. Her eyes were puffy, her hair was hanging in disarray and she was as pale as a ghost. Screw this! I refuse to be the victim again. That’s my man out there and no whack-job woman is going to ruin my life again. She thinks she’s crazy? Well she ain’t seen crazy yet, but it’s coming.
It took her almost two hours to shower, dress and pack, but already she felt more like herself. The pitiful creature of this morning was gone. In her place was a woman with a mission. She and Gray would go to Charleston and this mess was going to be taken care of. Their lives couldn’t move forward with this hanging over them. She loved him, dammit, and even though it would probably scare the crap out of him, she planned to have him in her life for the duration. She was never one to back down from a fight and this was a fight for the most important thing in her life. Stepping back from the mirror, she gave her reflection one last look. Black leather skirt, check. Off the shoulder silk peasant top, check, one flat leopard skin sandal, yuk. Well two out of three wasn’t bad. She had her hair back in an elegant pony tail and her makeup was flawless. Stiffening her spine, she prepared to do battle if necessary with Gray and with a smile; she acknowledged that he wouldn’t know what hit him.
~~~
Gray had just walked back into the living-room from the deck when the bedroom door opened. Expecting to see a still upset Suzy, he was shocked at the person standing there instead. Gone was the pale, shaken woman in his big shirt. In her place was the beautiful, sexy, confident woman that he had fallen in love. Hope took root inside of him as he stepped towards her, his eyes desperately searching hers for some indication of her feelings. When she turned behind her and picked up a suitcase, his heart dropped to the floor.
He held a hand out to her, ready to plead if he had to. “Baby, where are you going? Please don’t….” Before he could finish his sentence she interrupted him.
“I’m not leaving Gray, we are leaving. Why don’t you pack whatever you need, I’m ready to get on the road before it gets any later.”
“Honey, I’m at a loss here. Get on the road to where?”
As she moved to stand in front of him, Gray thought, my God, when have crutches ever looked this sexy? “We’re going to Charleston, Gray. We have a problem and we are going to solve it…together. I’m finished being left out of the loop. From now on, this concerns both of us. If you aren’t comfortable with that, then there will be no us.”
He was a man who made million dollar deals over breakfast, he was on a first name basis with senators and congressmen, and he was proud of the fact that he was never at a loss for words. No matter what the situation or problem, he was smooth, it was his God-given talent and it had made him a very successful business man. This woman in front of him, with her eyes flashing and her good foot tapping impatiently, had done what no one else could do; she’d made him speechless. He’d expected to grovel at her feet for days, hoping she’d give him another chance. He’d braced himself to see the hurt and betrayal in her eyes again and, God, the tears; those were like stakes through his heart. Yet here she was telling him to pack his bags so they could go handle Reva together. She was exceptional and she was still his.
“Um, honey, what do you have in mind? I don’t think you’re in any condition to go drag Reva out by her hair or anything. We can certainly go to Charleston and turn everything over to the police.”
With a sigh of impatience, she said, “I’m not some redneck Gray; I’m not gathering my kin folk to go kick her arse. I do want to see her, though.” She held up her hand to stop his protests. “She needs to know that you’re taken Gray and trust me, she’ll want to see that proof. As to how that will happen, we will decide when we get there. Now, please, can we go?”
Suzy stiffened as Gray walked towards her with a slo
w, sexy smile. Her body responded immediately, but her heart needed to keep its distance for now. To his credit, he didn’t reach for her. He looked her in the eyes for a moment and then quietly said, “I love you so much it takes my breath away.” As she started to shake her head, he continued, “I know this isn’t the time for this talk and we will put it on the back burner for now. I needed you to know that. You take my breath away.”
Gray walked towards the bedroom and Suzy heard him opening drawers as he packed. She quickly wiped a tear from her eyes, his declaration of love still ringing in her ears. She wanted to bask in the moment, the first time he declared his love, but she couldn’t, not yet. The timing was all wrong and things were too unsettled between them. The desire to just give up and run was still there. If she did, though, would she ever stop running? This was a pivotal moment in her life and how she handled it could very well define her love life forever.
Not Planning on You (Danver's Book 2) Page 14
