by Riley Love
“I’m in.” The biggest surprise was the weight that lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in a long time, I felt free.
“You’re in.” His face lit up, like this gorgeous man couldn’t believe I’d chosen him. Them. He grinned, and the skin around his eyes crinkled. Definitely a little older than me. I liked that. “Which one of us gets the honor of spending tonight with you?”
Tonight. Holy shit. All along I’d known this wasn’t something that would happen in the future—it was happening now, this weekend—but once I made my decision, I would set this thing in motion. I took a deep breath, remembering I had the option to put a stop to it at any time.
But maybe what I feared most was it was for a weekend and then we’d go back to our regular lives. Empty without each other. That this one weekend wouldn’t be enough to chase away the loneliness inside me.
I had to make it good.
I reached for Ethan’s hand. “You’re first.”
Chapter Four
Silence strangled the room long before the other guys clicked the door closed behind us. Maybe this was supposed to remain a fantasy. None of us had prepared for the moment when it became reality. Drew and Garrett murmured see you later and have fun. Harvey bumped into the door on the way out because he couldn’t tear his gaze away from me. I’d love to get in his head to know what he was thinking. Even if it frightened me.
“So.” Ethan’s voice had a rough edge to it. “Tell me what you had in mind.”
He stood next to my chair, gazing out the window. The crew had wrapped for the day, and their voices and laughter echoed through the courtyard of the resort as they filed into the hotel for the night.
It was never a fully formed fantasy, flashes of our bodies tangled together, his hot mouth against my skin, and my reaction. The physical and the emotional. It was a feeling of safety and being complete. Of having this beautiful, powerful man worship me and not giving a single fuck about what anyone else thought. But I didn’t know how to put that into words. As an actress, I brought other people’s fantasies to life. Mine took a backseat.
When I forced myself to give the fantasy a beginning, self-doubt flooded in. Mental preparation was nothing but a cycle of talking myself out of doing things I wanted and telling myself I didn’t deserve this kind of pleasure.
Fuck that. Fuck that so hard. It was time to be the star of my own fantasy. Not be the best supporting actress in someone else’s.
I got out of the chair and stood in front of Ethan. The heat from his body fogged the window. From the fifth floor, my coworkers were well-bundled and anonymous. If they saw two bodies come together through the haze, they’d never be able to tell who it was. Rumors would run rampant through the set about who got lucky in front of the window. For once, I wanted to be the topic of discussion. Anonymously, of course. I’d sip my tea and let myself burn as they speculated.
Ethan’s chest was rock hard and burned my hands even through his shirt. He was slightly damp from the snow and our struggle, and the fabric clung to the muscles underneath. I bunched it in my hands as he claimed my mouth in a kiss. His strong hands were on my back, pulling me closer. Nothing about this kiss said tonight would be a one-shot deal. We moved together, hot and hungry, like we’d done this so many times before.
Like we fit together.
I clung to him because I was losing control.
“That wasn’t very fair of me.” Ethan chuckled as he pulled away. His forehead rested against mine. “I didn’t give you a chance to answer before telling you what I wanted.”
“You read my mind.” I swallowed hard, wanting to keep the taste of him, the feeling of him this close, forever. “I want to surrender to you.”
I wanted a lot of things. To let someone else take care of everything, if only for a night. To let my cares and my worries float away in a frantic kiss that made us both implode. To have someone else know me better than I knew myself, to actually listen to what I had to say but not to have to say it. For once, to stop shouting and wondering why no one heard a damn thing I said.
Ethan knew. And it was dangerous, this fantasy could never be my reality. Or could it? I had to stop overlooking what I had for what I wanted.
I should have asked him so many questions—where he was from, what he liked to do when he wasn’t on a movie, how he became a stuntman, and what his dreams were. But I couldn’t get invested in him. In the morning, I needed to be able to walk away from him as easily as he would from me.
He moved back, his face brightening. I feared he’d laugh at me. Kyle had done it in the heat of the moment, and I’d question everything forever because of it.
But instead, Ethan scraped his teeth against his bottom lip. “When I was wrestling with you in the snow, I thought, this isn’t a woman who can be dominated easily.”
“I never said it would be easy.” My heart threatened to shatter a rib. “I said I wanted you to do it.”
Already, I was being more intimate with a complete stranger than I’d ever been with my ex. Sex with Kyle was about pleasing him. What he wanted. I’d sucked enough cock to last a lifetime, and he’d only go downtown if I begged him. When he decided to do it, it was too late. Love was wanting your partner to be happy, not wanting what someone could do for him. I couldn’t teach him that.
“I don’t like things that are easy, Albany. I’ve worked for every single thing I have. I earned them. The rewards are sweeter that way.” He kissed me again, and I couldn’t respond. He wouldn’t dominate me—he’d claim me. The guys had made their intentions clear: to be crowned the best. And Ethan, with his sure touch and words carrying the memory of a place I could only imagine, was off to a strong start. “I think you know a thing or two about that.”
“I do.” My legs were jelly, and my fingers ached from clutching his shirt. “Half the industry thinks I fucked my way into this role.”
Ethan shook his head. “Since I signed on to work with you, I’ve watched a few of your movies. You’re good, but you don’t always get the chance to showcase that. Bad scripts, editing that doesn’t favor you. You pull off this movie, and it will be a breakout role for you.”
“Thank you.” It wasn’t often I was complimented on my craft or that anyone recognized how much I wanted it. Recent press usually focused on Kyle, what I was wearing and how it fit, and if I’d gained weight. Nothing ever made me abandon my cart faster at the supermarket than seeing a doctored photo of myself in a bikini on the cover of a tabloid. “I’ve been caught up in the game too long.”
“It’s not working for you.” His fingers dug into the skin above my pants. My shirt rode up sometime during that kiss—and his touch warmed my bare skin. His words stirred even more emotions inside me. “You’ve got a reputation on set.”
“I do?” The director got annoyed with me sometimes, but from what I could tell, she got annoyed with everyone at some point of the day. For my own sanity, I didn’t take it personally. “What do they say?”
His eyes twinkled, and I planned to take whatever he said next with a grain of salt. “They think you’re a brat.”
“A brat?” I’d had a lot of derogatory terms thrown at me in my time in the spotlight, but never had I been referred to as a child. The insult cut deep because whoever was using it didn’t respect me. My first impulse was to point a finger at Kyle for spreading rumors, for egging me on. But he wasn’t the one who made me look bad. As a grown ass woman, the only one responsible for my behavior was me. Minutes before I met up with the guys for dinner, I’d screamed at my agent to get me off the movie. “I’m not a fucking brat.”
“Someone doesn’t like that, huh?”
“Would you?” Rage bubbled in my veins, obliterating any warm and fuzzy feelings I’d had moments before. I knew I was making myself vulnerable tonight, but I didn’t think it would come in the form of a crushing blow to my ego.
“I didn’t say I think you’re a brat.” He had the nerve to grin.
“Stop using that word.” My words
came through gritted teeth.
Ethan’s hand was in my hair, and he gave it a good tug. I gasped—he was fulfilling my request. Before, the sparkle in his eyes was like the gently falling snow. Now it was a full-on blizzard. This man was a force to be reckoned with. “I think I better teach you a lesson.”
Oh. So that was how he wanted to play it. Game on, stuntman. Game. On. I wriggled, but his grip tightened. My heart fluttered, confused by the mix of rage and desire that flowed through me. Ethan’s other hand slid from my hip to my ribcage. He had to have felt it.
He pulled on my shirt. “Can I take this off you?”
I wasn’t used to being asked. “Okay.”
“The bra too. And the pants while we’re at it. I want to take it all off you. Is that what you want?”
“Yes.” I could barely speak.
Ethan let go of my hair, my shirt, and I feared I’d fall through the window. But it was only for a moment. He tore the shirt over my head, the bra… It was probably done for. It shouldn’t have come off like that, but I didn’t care. The way he looked at me was worth it. Moments before, I’d been demeaned by his claim that I was a brat, but practically in the same breath, I’d been redeemed.
I felt beautiful. Powerful.
And I wanted him.
I pushed down my yoga pants, but Ethan grabbed my hand. “I’ll do it.”
He sat on the ottoman, his breath hot against my stomach as he licked a line from my belly button down to my pubic bone. I trembled, catching my balance on his shoulders as he pushed my leggings down to my ankles, tapping them to urge me to step away.
Running his hands up my legs, he stopped on my ass. I expected him to pull my panties down. Hell, I almost begged him to do it. But I wouldn’t. He caressed the skin, running his fingers under the scalloped edge of the lace.
He drew back, and his hand landed on my ass cheek with a hard crack. The caress that followed diffused the sting.
“Have you ever played around with spanking, Albany?” he asked, his light touch in the wake of the slap almost too much to take. I wanted more.
“No.” I was ashamed to admit I’d never been with a man I trusted to dominate me, who would empower me in the process. Maybe I should have started having sex with complete strangers before now. I’d never been able to trust anyone with my heart before.
“Is it something you’re interested in?” That twinkle had returned to his eye, like he was dying to say, It would do you some good, brat.
Before he slapped my ass, hell no. I wouldn’t have gone as far as to put it on my list of hard limits, but I would’ve never suggested it. But I wanted him to dominate me, by any means necessary. When I closed my eyes, the image of us tangled together in the snow burned bright. But when I opened them, Ethan was there, eyes sparkling again, waiting for me to give him the word.
“I’m interested in trying it with you.” That was the truth.
“Okay.” He stood, never letting go of my ass. His grip would bruise me, and I wished I’d agreed to that nude scene so Kyle would have to see another man’s mark on me in front of the entire crew. He led us over to the bed. “Lay down. Ass up, arms over your head. I don’t have a lot of my supplies here, so I’ll have to make do.”
I crawled onto the bed and looked back at him and grinned before I completed the request. “Sounds professional.”
“Nope, purely recreational. I like to experiment with what feels good. Get down, Albany. Be a good girl and do as I say.”
Some could argue being a good girl got me everything I had, but I’d counter that it held me back. Pure rage burned as it flowed through my veins at the suggestion. However this interlude ended, I was getting spanked. And if I was lucky, pretty hard. I hadn’t lied; I’d never played around with it. But I wanted to. I wanted to do a lot of things. “What if I don’t want to be a good girl?”
The smile that spread across his face promised sin and possibility. My pussy pulsed like crazy. We might have been hesitating because we were both scared, two strangers brought together by raw desire.
He came for me. I crawled up the bed, trying to get away from him, but we both knew I wanted to be caught. Gripping the comforter, I took it down with me as he dragged me back to him. It was like we were back in the snow, and I fought him hard enough he had to do something about it. We were on the floor, my wrists firmly in one of his hands, the other hand hooked into my panties. Didn’t matter how much I wriggled and squirmed. He was getting them off.
Once he’d succeed, he hooked them on his finger. There was no way he didn’t notice how wet they were. I stared at them, catching my breath, naked and mad and so needy.
“We could’ve done this the easy way, Albany.” The lace was pinned in his grip, and he wrapped my panties around my wrist, tying them into a knot and giving them a good tug. They weren’t going anywhere. Damn it. Leave it to me to unknowingly pick a hunter to dabble in bondage with.
“Nope.” I shook my head. “I’m going to make you earn it.”
Who was the woman saying these things? It wasn’t Albany the Good Girl, that was for sure. Maybe it was Albany the Brat. It was like playing a role, but letting the real me shine through. The one I’d been too scared to let anyone see because they might not like it, and being liked had seemed more important that being real. But this Albany didn’t give a shit about what anyone thought of her. She was getting hers.
Ethan picked me up like I weighed nothing. I bounced on the mattress when he let me go. On my stomach like this, I couldn’t move. Well, I couldn’t move and make it look sexy. My wrists were bound and over my head. His weight shifted the mattress as he crawled onto the bed. He knelt beside me, his eyes on fire. Running his hand up my thigh, he settled on my ass.
I wouldn’t beg him to spank me, no matter how much I wanted it. The gentle caresses were torture, even for Ethan. His fingers dug into my ass, if only for a second. A quick flash of sensation, and then it was gone. The motion became rougher, firmer. I peeked at him, which wasn’t easy to do with my hair falling into my eyes and my arm blocking my view. He looked breathless, damp, like exercising this much restraint was hard work. A noise came out of him that I could’ve sworn was a growl.
That was when the first blow landed. My head flew up off the bed as pain flashed brightly behind my eyes. I moaned like he’d rammed his cock into me. Then it was back to those maddening caresses.
“Did you like that?” Ethan asked.
More… No. “Not sure. Too soon to tell.”
“Oh, you are a brat, aren’t you?” Another crack to my ass. There was a rhythm to it, and now I was wriggling under his touch, my body betraying me. I moved with his hand in a circular motion, grinding against him. If he dipped his fingers between my legs, he’d know how wet I was.
“I’m not a brat,” I said between clenched teeth. “I know what I like.”
Ethan yanked my head back by my hair. Our faces were next to each other, and his other hand had a firm grip on my stinging ass. “This is what you’re going to do, brat. You’re going to count to ten, and I’m going to give you your spankings. And if you are a good girl, then I’ll fuck you.”
“If I’m not?” The words didn’t sound like they belonged to me. My body pulsed with frustration, desire, and need. I could barely breathe. I wanted to scream at him, tell him he was an asshole, beg him for more, and suck his cock all at the same time. I wasn’t used to these feelings coming so rapid fire, raw, and uncensored. I didn’t know how to handle it.
“We do it again until you get it right.” Each word was razor sharp, like if his hot breath hit my skin he’d cut me. “I don’t do anything until you start counting, Albany.”
My heart pounded. It wasn’t easy to bring the words to my lips. I raised myself to my elbows and braced for impact. “One…”
The nice thing about counting was I was totally in control. That torturous time between strikes? I could eradicate it. “Two. Three.”
“Careful,” Ethan warned.
“Fo
ur.”
I was a brat, and my ass was getting hot. I didn’t care. I wanted to see how much I could take.
“Five.” I sucked in a sharp breath. “Six.”
“How does it feel?”
“Good,” I said through gritted teeth. “Seven.”
This one was harder, his grasp afterward firmer. I had to catch my breath. The caresses started again, and this time, it was sweet relief. Both cheeks were on fire, and my pussy pulsed like it was trying to keep up with a double bass drum in a speed metal band.
“Eight,” I whispered. Squeezing my eyes closed, I willed myself to stay on task. Electricity flowed through my veins, and a shudder ran through me, imagining what it would feel like to have these blows rain down all over my body. What was happening to me? “Nine.”
“One more, Albany.” I liked the way Ethan kept saying my name. It kept me here, in the moment. “You can do it.”
If I wasn’t totally on the edge, I would’ve asked for an appraisal of how I’d done. But I couldn’t. I needed that next blow. “Ten.”
I wished I could capture the sensation of the last spanking, put it in a bottle, and take it out on some future night when I needed something I had never been able to into put words until now. Ethan grabbed my hips and pulled my ass into his lap. He still had his pants on, and his erection was hot through the fabric. But not as hot as his breath on my sensitized skin. He blew on it, and goosebumps blossomed all over me. My head flew back when he bit me.
“That was so fucking hot,” he said, his lips moving against my skin. “They’re wrong about you.”
I knew that all along. But Ethan was the first one who’d given me a chance to prove otherwise.
He pulled on my bound wrists, and I was a rag doll, moving at his will. He lay me down on my back, praising me with a quick kiss before letting me go. His gaze bathed me with approval and lust and something I read way too much into.
