by Tina Donahue
Oh shit, not that. Mitch was halfway to the bedroom door when he stopped. On the accent table to the right were folded sheets of paper with his name scrawled across the top. Even after all these years, he recognized Nikki’s handwriting and had to force himself to pick up the note she’d clearly left.
From inside it, a wallet-sized photograph spilled out. Mitch turned it over, staring at his and Connor’s likenesses at their high school graduation. They looked younger than he remembered them being, and more alone than he wanted to recall, standing within a mass of people, unnoticed by them. They held their caps in one hand, their diplomas in the other, both of them glancing at something off camera, as though they’d hoped their mother would somehow show up or their grandmother might have changed her mind and decided to attend the event.
You were there that day? he’d asked Nikki earlier.
Yeah. I even took pictures. It was all I had left of you.
Mitch swallowed. He opened the papers.
I’ve carried this picture with me since the day you guys graduated, her note began. I wanted you to know that you weren’t alone. I was there. Too afraid to do anything about it, but I wouldn’t have missed that ceremony for anything in the world. I was so proud of both of you. So happy at what you’d accomplished.
I’ve always loved you, Mitch. Connor too, but it isn’t enough, not after all these years. I realize that now.
My presence has created nothing but problems between the two of you. It kills me to see that happen, to hear you say anything unkind to each other, and I can’t allow it to continue. You guys are brothers, family, that’s what matters. Don’t ever let any woman, especially me, get in the way of that.
I’ll pay back every cent you’ve so kindly given me. Please take whatever I’ve earned from my night at the club and for the film as the first installment. I’m going to send you monthly checks. I’ve calculated the payments on the next sheet of paper with the current interest rate I’d be paying a bank. It’s only fair and I want you to have it. I won’t lie, it will take a while for me to retire the balance, but I will pay you back in full.
Please be happy, Mitch, that’s all I ask. Make certain Connor is too. Find a woman who adores the two of you equally, as you so well deserve, and brings you nothing but joy.
- Nikki
Connor was in the dining room, his plate filled with the bacon, eggs and grits he’d made but had no appetite for. He was pushing the food from side to side on his plate when Mitch strode into the room and moved past, a wad of papers in his fist.
Turning in his chair, Connor watched his brother go to the side door and step outside. Through the window, he saw Mitch pacing the drive, his cock swinging back and forth with each step. When he came back in, looking as if he wanted to punch something, Connor broke the uneasy silence. “If you’re looking for the guys, they cleared out an hour or so ago. I told them the filming was over, that we have enough shots for two films, maybe—”
“The car’s gone.”
It took Connor a moment to change gears. “What car?”
“Our rental, what the fuck else? You saw Nikki take it?” he snapped. “You let her go? Or did you give her the goddamn keys and order her out of here?”
Connor pushed to his feet so quickly he had to catch his chair before it fell over. “What in the hell are you talking about? I haven’t seen or talked to her since yesterday at the end of filming when you and everyone else were in the room. I thought she was still upstairs with you as she was all last night.”
“Read this.”
He looked at the papers Mitch had shoved into his chest, not wanting to touch them. Whatever anger he’d been nursing against Nikki took a backseat to his sudden apprehension. His stomach rolled. Sweat broke out on his chest.
“Look at this,” his brother insisted, holding out a photograph of them at their graduation.
Connor stared at their likenesses. “Where’d you get that?”
“Read the fucking note. Now, dammit.”
He forced himself to open the papers and got as far as the “Connor too” part, before he mumbled, “She was actually there that day?”
“Hell, yeah. She’d never stopped loving either of us, just like I kept trying to tell you, and now she’s gone, Connor.” Mitch gestured to the papers. “Go on, read what she wrote.”
He did, studying her spreadsheet, showing the payments with interest she’d be making. Her words about family and not wanting to create problems between them played repeatedly in his mind.
“Happy?” Mitch asked.
“I swear I didn’t say anything to her after you and I argued.” He’d thought a lot of bad shit, but hadn’t said it, couldn’t. He’d kept hearing Mitch’s arguments in his mind, recalling the way Nikki had smiled when he’d brushed back her hair, her gratitude for him treating her with a bit of kindness and respect. Most of last night, he’d lain awake, debating whether to join her and his brother. Like Nikki, he’d been too afraid to make the right move.
Mitch put out his hand. “Give me your phone.”
“You’re going to call her?”
“Read the damn note.”
“Are you blind?” Connor shouted. “I did.”
“The back of it.”
He turned the papers over. Please don’t try to find me, she’d written. I don’t want that. I want you guys to forget me for good and to be happy.
He handed his phone over and reread the beginning of her note.
Mitch tapped his foot impatiently, then stopped, the cell to his ear. “Hey,” he said. “It’s me.”
Given his casual greeting, Connor figured it wasn’t Nikki he’d called.
“Need a favor,” Mitch said. “I want you to go over to Nikki’s apartment. The address is on her employment—what?” He listened and sighed. “I know how early it is, Shoshana. I need you to do this for—huh?” Again, he listened. “Doesn’t matter what happened, hon. I need you to go over to her place and keep her there until I arrive. Do not let her out of your sight. Call me the minute you get there. It shouldn’t take you more than fifteen minutes. Bye.” He ended the call and made another.
“You calling Nikki?” Connor asked.
“I already tried that upstairs on my phone until the fucking thing went dead. She didn’t answer and her voicemail isn’t on. So no. Hi,” he said to the person whose number he’d punched in. “This is Mitch Ward. Has Nikki Blaine been there this morning to book a flight off the island? She said she was going to. Is she still at the airport?” He listened, then said, “Sure, I’ll wait.”
Connor bumped into his chair, getting out of Mitch’s way as his brother strode past, pacing the length of the room. When Mitch reached the hall door, Connor asked, “Did she say anything to you last night while you two were together?”
Mitch stopped mid-step, then pivoted and advanced. “She was crying when I got upstairs.”
“I didn’t say anything to her,” Connor insisted. “You have to believe me. Admittedly, I’ve been acting like a jerk, but I wouldn’t have gotten in her face and said anything really cruel.”
“Just moderately cruel?” Mitch snapped.
Connor sighed. “Think whatever you want, but I did not—”
“She said her eyes were tearing because she got something in them.” He ran his hand down his face. “I lied and told her you’d be up in a little while, that you were dealing with some shit from the crew. She begged me to make love with her.” He paused, his expression changing from pissed to troubled.
“And you didn’t?” Connor asked.
“Are you nuts? Of course I did.” He resumed pacing. “I tried not to notice it at the time, but she kept looking and talking like she wasn’t going to be seeing me after this week—what?” he interrupted himself and listened to the person on the other end of the call. Mitch’s shoulders slumped. “I see. Thanks.”
“Don’t tell me she never showed up at the airport,” Connor said. She couldn’t have gotten lost or been in an accident. Hel
l, his stupidity and pride couldn’t have caused that. “We’ll get dressed and look for—”
Mitch interrupted, “She’s already gone, Connor. She left on a flight before any of us were awake. Apparently, she took off right after I fell asleep.”
“Then she’s back in Atlanta, at her place. Shoshana’s probably headed to her place right now…she’ll tell Nikki to wait for you.”
“Me?” Mitch growled. “You read her note. You know she won’t accept either of us without the other. She doesn’t want to tear us apart. You do understand that, don’t you?”
Connor’s phone rang, not giving him a chance to answer. The call was from Felipe, asking about props he’d left in the mansion. Connor promised to bring them with him when he left. Next, Alex called to remind him about other stuff for the film.
The moment they ended their call, the phone rang again. This time, it was Shoshana. Connor handed the phone to Mitch.
He listened, then sighed. “Keep knocking, please. Nikki will have to come to the door eventually.”
Ten minutes later, she hadn’t.
Later that day, Connor learned that Nikki had told her apartment’s management she was moving out. She shut off her cell phone service next.
Within a week, it was as if she’d never been back to Atlanta. Her parents didn’t know where she’d gone. Her mother said she hoped it was back to New York to be closer to Ty.
It wasn’t.
Nikki had removed herself from his and Mitch’s lives completely, just as Connor had wanted. Only her note remained, along with their graduation photo. The following week, a payment in cash arrived at their office. There was no return address or postmark. Nikki had used one of the prepaid envelopes from Wicked that mass marketed their Masters Club to potential clients. Upon hire, all the club’s staff got a stack of the envelopes and letters of invitation. They were encouraged to distribute them to every guy they came into contact with.
Mitch kept the envelope and cash on his desk as if having them close might allow him to conjure her back.
Every time Connor saw them, Mitch’s earlier accusation rang in his mind.
Happy?
He wanted to make this right but didn’t know how.
You read her note, Mitch had said. You know she won’t accept either of us without the other.
If they could find her. Even if they did, Connor figured he’d treated Nikki too badly for her to ever want or trust him again. He’d never stopped loving her and showed it by treating her like shit. She deserved better in the future. All he had left now was to turn this around for his brother.
Dense cigar smoke blanketed the room, the bluish-white vapor hovering over the patrons’ heads. More than a few of the men coughed at the acrid stench, the noise they made drowned out by the thundering bass of an obscure Goth band. The dark music matched the club’s domination-and-punishment milieu, with a touch of vampire thrown in.
All the female servers wore black Cleopatra-type wigs, blood-red lipstick and white makeup on their faces and bodies…at least the parts that were exposed.
Tonight, Nikki had donned no more than a leather waist cincher, what she’d learned garnered the most tips. Even full nudity hadn’t been able to compete with the brutal garment wrapped tight about her body. For added allure, she’d attached small gold clips to her rouged nipples. A chain hung between them. The jewelry swayed into her chest with each step, a reminder to the men of her servitude.
She negotiated a path through tonight’s patrons, making certain not to brush against any of them. Early on, she realized management wouldn’t protect her here as she’d expected at Wicked. That was a class act, despite what the elite of Atlanta might have thought. This was a not-so-gentlemanly club where the guests were always right, no matter how gross they acted. In fact, the elderly man who owned the club encouraged it.
“You make them happy,” he’d said, wagging his gnarled finger at her. “We don’t want no bitchy females here, you understand? You don’t wait for the men to smile at you, you smile at them first. They want a kiss or a grope, you give it to them. Hell, it’s not sex, you know? It’s just being sociable and encourages them to drink more and come back. You please them, you’ll get great tips.”
Not great, but good enough for Nikki to help her folks, survive on her own and pay Mitch back.
Her step faltered with the searing ache in her chest.
Nearly three months had passed since she’d last seen him and Connor. That weekend on Sea Island seemed to have happened to someone else, not her. At dawn, when she was finally away from here, when she couldn’t run away from the past any longer, the images returned, bathed in bright light like a vision of something miraculous and unearthly. She saw herself, Connor and Mitch sprawled on the shower floor, their laughter and contented sighs chasing away the clouds of steam.
She felt their big bodies snuggled against hers, muscular and protective.
After she left, she’d cried for weeks, but didn’t budge in her resolve. They’d always been better off without her. Their happiness was all that mattered. Her future, wherever it ended, could wait. For now, she had a job to do.
A guy on the right grabbed her arm, stopping Nikki from reaching her table. Her middle-aged customer didn’t notice. He was swapping tongues with one of the other servers, a gorgeous Hispanic girl whose rich skin managed to glow beneath the pasty makeup.
“That martini for me?” this guy asked, his thumb stroking her elbow.
Nikki recalled Mitch and Connor doing the same, their touch commanding yet welcomed. She remembered the trail of wet kisses they’d left on her body, Connor’s mustache and beard rasping her skin, Mitch’s stubble doing the same. She smiled at the memory.
This guy leaned closer. “You like that, huh?”
The excitement in his voice snapped Nikki back to the present. She managed a smile. “Sorry, sir, but no, this drink isn’t for you. However, I’ll get you one in just a bit.”
“I want it now.” His grip tightened. He tugged her so close, Nikki’s knee hit the side of his thigh. Not a bad one. He was probably in his early thirties, good-looking and well built, his threads expensive, his attitude as arrogant as Ty’s during his brief tenure at the top. This man’s mop of sun-streaked brown hair and deep tan further reminded Nikki of her ex. May he rot in hell.
“Sir,” she cooed, pouring on the fake charm while trying to reason. “I really have to go.”
“Sit on my lap first. No one will care, least of all me.”
Nikki bit her lip to keep from telling him that she minded. Even if she’d been desperate for a man, he’d never be at the top of her list. “Sorry, but I have a drink to deliver.”
“It can wait.” Releasing her arm, he wrapped his around her waist, his fingers stroking her mound with a presumption that told her he’d soon be heading for her cleft.
No amount of imagination would have made Nikki enjoy him touching her there. Acting on pure instinct, she pushed the heel of her hand against his arm.
He continued to hold tight, as one would with a possession. “Maybe you didn’t hear me. I said it can wait.”
“And I said, I didn’t think so.”
At her fuck-you tone, he blinked then flashed his teeth, whitened to unnatural brilliance. “You know, I could get you fired for being so snotty.”
He was actually threatening her? The bastard. The old Nikki would have flattened him with her tray, then filed a civil suit against him for assault. The woman she was now knew that wasn’t prudent. Not if she wanted to keep working. “Look, I’m sorry, all right? Please understand, if I don’t deliver this drink, that guy over there will get me fired.”
“He’s busy with another babe. You should take lessons from her on how to treat a man.”
Heat warmed Nikki’s face, but she kept her embarrassment well suppressed.
“Just give me a kiss,” he coaxed, suddenly a pussycat, claws retracted, “and I’ll let you do whatever you want.”
Until he wanted mor
e, his hands all over her body while his tongue snaked down her throat. “I can’t,” she blurted, then thought to appease, “not now.”
“Sure you can.” Grinning, he snatched her tray. The drink fell off. Vodka and vermouth splashed her arm. Glass shattered on the floor. “Come on, baby, just sit on my—hey!” He tugged at the hand gripping his arm, stopping him from manhandling her.
Stunned at the unexpected help, Nikki looked up. Her mouth sagged open.
“The lady said no,” Mitch growled, his full attention on the goon. “Back off.”
“Like hell.” He tugged but couldn’t get free. “Who the fuck are you?”
“Mitch?” she blurted, not quite able to believe it, unable to get her fill of him. Clean-shaven, he wore dark-brown pants, a white dress shirt opened at the collar and a beige linen jacket. Casual, yet elegant and so Mitch. “You’re really here?”
Surprise and exasperation raced across his face. “Where the hell else did you think I’d be?” He let go of the goon and faced her.
Nikki threw her arms around his neck, releasing her weight into him until she realized what she was doing. Before he could return her caress, she let go and stepped back, waving her hands. “You shouldn’t be here.”
His expression darkened. “It’s a fucking miracle I am. You left without a trace. You shut off your cell phone. There’re no utility records in your name. No license changes, no car registration. Do you have any idea how difficult it was to find you?”
She’d wanted it that way. She couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him and Connor again.
“You should be spanked,” he said.
His comment was so husky and promising, Nikki’s mouth trembled with her smile, until she reminded herself he had to go. They had no future, no more good times, not without his brother. Once more, she stepped back.
He followed.
“Looks like she doesn’t want you either,” the goon called out.
Mitch ignored him. Love, not irritation, flooded his features. “You’re not running away from me again, Nikki.”
