by Rachel Aaron
Tina gaped at him. "For real?" He nodded, but she still didn't believe it. "No offense, Richard, but you just joined this morning. How are you an officer already?"
"Duh, because he's Richard," an ichthyian Sorcerer informed her scornfully. "He wrote the FFORaiders-dot-com Sorcerer Guide! Most of us are using the fire-talent build he invented. Hell, it's even called Richard-spec. It wouldn't be right if he wasn't our rep."
All the other Sorcerers nodded as though that should have been obvious. Beside her, SB was struggling to smother his laughter, while Richard just looked uncomfortable. He didn't try to argue down the praise, though, so Tina just shrugged.
"Right on, then," she said. "If you're sure he's the one you want..."
"Definitely," the Sorcerers said, patting Richard on the back, which only made him look even more uncomfortable.
When the hubbub finally died down, Richard cleared his throat and turned to face Tina. "So what was it you wanted us to do, Roxxy?"
Tina leaned in closer, lowering her voice. "You're familiar with wind-fire powder, right?"
"Of course," Richard said. "It was heavily used in the Ember Valley questlines as a transparent metaphor for nuclear weapons."
"Yeah, well, we've got some," Tina said. "Enough to consume this entire city if need be. I don't intend to use it, but if this goes bad and we get cornered, wind-fire powder is the only weapon big enough to force the king to negotiate. There's no point in making a threat if you can't actually carry it through, though, so I need a way to make sure we can set the wind-fire powder off without torching ourselves in the process."
Richard frowned. "What sort of way?"
"I was hoping you could tell me," she replied with a shrug. "I've seen NekoBaby and a few of the other casters doing new things with their magic that they couldn't do back in the game. Sorcerers are masters of fire, and NPCs are always casting wards and barriers. Can we do something like that?"
"You mean a ward against fire?" Richard said thoughtfully.
Tina nodded. "Ward, barrier, counter-spell--I don't care what it is so long as it can protect us from the wind-fire powder's inferno."
The Sorcerer frowned thoughtfully, standing so quiet and so still that Tina started to worry.
"Um, Richard? Did you hear me?"
Richard blinked as if she'd startled him. "Yes, sorry. I heard you, but there are a lot of variables to consider before I can answer. For example, the tremendous surface area of any sphere large enough to encompass two thousand people, which has an exponential impact on the ratio of barrier strength to compounding mana requirements. Also, does it need to be a full sphere? All wards in the game are spherical, but is that an absolute requirement? Could we save on the power requirement by making a pyramid or dome? And how much power would be required of each Sorcerer to--"
"Okay, okay, I get the idea," Tina said, holding her up hands. "You guys work on that and let me know when you figure it out."
Richard nodded and lapsed back into silence, completely ignoring the other Sorcerers, who broke into instant arguments behind him. Shaking her head, Tina left them to it, confident they'd figure it out eventually. She'd already seen the miracles Intelligence gear could work, and Sorcerers had the most of any class. Also, they had Richard, the most skilled Sorcerer in FFO. The dude had figured out how to exploit every damage-increasing hack in the game. Surely he could do the same with actual magic. Tina just hoped he'd be able to explain it to the others.
Watching him stand in silence while everyone else talked around him, she was starting to understand why his old guild had fallen apart. Richard was clearly a genius, but he was also one of those people who were so analytical it made normal social interaction difficult. Tina couldn't imagine what had driven him to be a guild leader. Even the best-run guilds were constant drama engines. It must have been hell for the poor guy, but he was clearly a glutton for punishment, because he'd accepted the position of officer here. Tina would just have to trust him to do it well.
With that, she left them to their work, walking back into the middle of the now-empty stretch of grass in front of Trainers' Hall. Everyone else was already off, frantically working on their jobs under the guidance of the other leaders. The efficiency should have made her happy, but as the chattering clump of Sorcerers dragged the still silently thinking Richard into the storage house to get a look at the wind-fire powder, all Tina felt was a cold lump growing in her stomach.
"You okay?" SB whispered beside her.
"I'm fine."
He gave her a skeptical look, and Tina sighed.
"Just feeling the pressure," she admitted quietly, turning to gaze up at the Bastion gleaming in the distance. "Everyone's doing everything I could ask, but we're still in a really tight spot. I mean, I just talked to a bunch of Sorcerers about making us a magical bunker to hide in while we torch a city. That's heavy stuff. Even if everything goes right, people are probably going to die, and..."
And she was afraid. It was easy to be brave in front of a crowd, but now that everything was in motion, the impossibility of what they were trying to do felt like a rope tightening around her neck.
"I don't want to make the wrong choice," she said at last. "My screwups have already gotten enough people killed. That Sorcerer who died at the Dead Mountain on day zero, David on the hill in the Deadlands, KatanaFatale yesterday... It's my fault they're gone. I'm the one who messed up and made a stupid call, but they had to pay for it. I don't want that to happen again."
"It won't," SB said, pulling down his mask to give her a smile. "CincoDeMurder and Shankfest won the international FFOCon 2v2 tournament last year, and Assets is the only billionaire in FFO history. As for Richard, well, you've seen yourself how famous he is. What I'm trying to say is that we're up to our necks in world-class players, so there's no reason everything has to fall on you. All you have to do is what you've already done: keep everyone together and pointed in the right direction. I know you can do it. You're one of the best tanks in FFO history. So long as you're at the front, that army won't stand a chance. If we're lucky, it might not even come to a fight. Don't forget--those soldiers aren't mindless NPCs anymore. They're people, which means they can get scared just like us." His grin grew wider. "I bet they'll take one look at what you've built here and break."
"I hope you're right," Tina said, but her heart wasn't in it. She'd seen the hate in Malakai and his knights. That sort of irrational anger didn't just go away because you were facing a tough opponent. They'd already proven they would fight the players to the last breath. Tina knew her people would do the same, mostly because they had no other option. That was the trouble with "do or die"--it didn't leave a lot of room for compromise. But she appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, 'Blayde," she said, giving him a smile back. "I'm one of our only max-level blacksmiths, so I have to get to the forge and help with armor. What do you want to do?"
SB shrugged. "Normally I'd say scout, but I'm pretty useless thanks to the Bastion. I am a max-level leather worker, though."
"We actually have plenty of those," Tina said, thinking it over. Then she spotted a beleaguered Frank sitting behind the quest table, dealing with a flock of players Assets had "delegated" back over, and her face lit up.
"Hey, 'Blayde," she said with a grin. "Ever wanted to be a quest giver?"
He glanced at the table, and a delighted look spread over his face before he replaced his mask.
"Totally."
***
The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur. Tina spent most of it in the forges, banging out armor and swords for the seemingly endless stream of Knights and Berserkers who were missing key pieces of gear. Assets grumbled constantly about how much of their metal she was using, but Tina paid him no attention. They'd worry about resupply after they survived. Right now, she was armoring their front line, and if that wasn't worth every bit of iron on the island, nothing was.
Everyone else seemed to be working just as h
ard. She could hear Cinco drilling units just outside, and the Rangers checked in constantly with reports on the king's army, which seemed to be busy with some kind of crisis in the castle. That was fine with her. Maybe they'd get lucky and some ambitious lord would try for a coup. Anything that kept the NPCs at each other's throats and away from hers.
She was on her way back to Assets's supply pile to pick up another load of metal when she spotted a fluffy jubatus tail twitching from around a corner. The butt of its owner was unfortunately known to her, so Tina sighed and walked around the bend to see what was going on.
Sure enough, NekoBaby was standing on a stacked pile of teetering crates, using the height to peek through the back window of one of the smaller huts surrounding the main hall. Tina couldn't remember which trainer had used that particular space, but the free-standing building was lovely: a small, tall, circular structure with an airy dome on top, sunburst details painted across its whitewashed sides, and a ring of tiny stained-glass windows around the top that Neko was holding herself up by the claws to look through.
"What are you doing?"
Neko jumped at her voice, then she turned around with a hiss, pressing a finger against her lips. "Shhh!" she said, pulling herself back up to the window. "Can't you see I'm spying?"
"Which is why I'm calling you out," Tina replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're supposed to be helping Zen."
Neko snorted. "Grumpy Mom doesn't need help from me. She could run that hospital with her eyes closed. That place is like an episode of ER minus the drama. This is way more important." She squinted through the window. "Anders is up to something weird."
"As long as it's consensual and his work is getting done, I don't care what he's doing," Tina said irritably. "And it's none of your business, anyway, Neko. We have more important things to..." She trailed off, eyes going wide. "Wait, what are you wearing?"
She'd been so focused on Neko's behavior, she hadn't realized the cat-girl's outfit was equally as bizarre until just now. In addition to Frank's giant shapeless undershirt, which she'd been wearing belted over her torn robes since the Deadlands, Neko had added bulky leather shoulder pads under the cloth. It made her look like a football player, and the leather bra-band-thing she'd wrapped around her chest only added to the effect. The straps were pulled so tight over the cat-girl's prodigious bosom, Tina felt short of breath just looking at her, but the weirdest part of all of this was that none of it was necessary. She'd seen to it personally that Neko's robes, ripped days ago by Anders during the delusional start of things, had been mended by Camp Comeback's tailors. She should be totally back to normal now, so Tina couldn't comprehend why she was wearing such insanity.
"Holy crap, Neko," Tina blurted. "What are you doing with all that? This stuff isn't even magical."
"Stuff..." Neko said, ears drooping as she looked down.
Tina was so shocked she took a physical step back. A demure and dissembling NekoBaby? Forget weird behavior. Something had to be seriously wrong.
"Neko, are you okay?" she whispered, moving closer so she was eye to eye with the cat on the crates. "I'm your friend. You can tell me."
The cat-girl rolled her eyes. "Gah, don't go all counselor on me," she grumbled, looking everywhere but Tina. "This isn't a cry for help. I just hate how I look, okay?"
"Believe me, I feel ya," Tina said, pulling some of her copper metal-not-metal hair forward. "Being nonhuman is pretty damn unsettling. You should see how I look under the armor."
The cat-girl snorted. "Everyone got a look at that, Miss Nudist-by-the-River. But it's not the cat stuff I mind. That part's actually pretty cool, but this girl shit is the pits! My body just feels so wrong."
"Not getting used to it?" Tina asked. She knew that most players were adjusting to their new bodies whether they liked it or not. Her own distancing from "fleshy" concerns was a prime example, but maybe the change was different when it came to gender. After all, there were plenty of normal humans back home who felt like they'd been born into the wrong bodies, and she'd never tell them to just "get used to it."
"No, I'm not fucking adjusting, and I don't want to!" snapped Neko. "So many people here won the fucking lottery. Look at SB! He looks like Legolas modeling for a shampoo commercial. Why didn't I roll an elf? Or even a normal jubatus? I'd be totally cool as a tall, burly cat-dude, but this... I never feel right, Roxxy! I have hooters. I have this dainty fucking body. I have new parts down below to deal with. It's not me, it's wrong, and it's all the time! I can't live like this!"
"And that's why you're binding your chest flat and wearing shoulder pads?" Tina asked. "To look more manlike?"
"It's a start," the cat-girl said, tiny hands balled into fists. "I know they look stupid, but it's the best I could think of. I was no athlete back home. Hell, I was a shut-in. I admit it. I hated how I looked back then, too, but I would give anything to be in my old body again now. Anything!"
That last cry was so desperate, it made Tina's heart ache. She reached forward awkwardly and pulled NekoBaby into a hug. The Naturalist tensed at first but didn't fight her, so Tina held on, patting NekoBaby on the back while the cat-girl trembled.
"It'll be okay," she whispered into Neko's fur. "This is only temporary. We'll find a way out of here, and everything will be fixed. For both of us."
NekoBaby held on for another few seconds, then she buried her face in the crook of Tina's shoulder plate with a sob. "I just want to go home."
"I'll get you home," Tina said quietly. "I promise."
They stayed that way for about a minute, Tina letting NekoBaby cry softly on her armored shoulder. Then NekoBaby pushed away from her, her face flushed with embarrassment beneath her damp fur. "Can we not talk about this ever again?"
"Never again," Tina promised, crossing her heart--or where her heart would have been if she'd still been human. "Now please go back to the medical tent. I know Zen's super-competent, but she's not a magical healer. I need you to make sure she doesn't get veteran-nurse-seen-it-all tunnel vision and forget that things are different here."
"Okay," Neko said, wiping her nose. "But who's going to keep an eye on fish-boy? 'Cause he's being super weird, and I don't just say that because I hate him." She scowled. "I'm still planning to poison him, by the way."
"I know," Tina said bitterly, wondering how she was ever going to resolve what had happened between Neko and Anders or if she even could. Leylia's or no, he'd done something unforgivable, and Tina had no idea what to do about that except make sure it never happened again.
"Leave Anders to me," she said. "You get to Zen. Remember: you healers are the most important part of this fight. If we go down to Bastion's army, you'll never get to poison anyone."
NekoBaby huffed. "I guess so," she muttered, climbing down from the crates at last. "Thanks, Roxxy."
Tina knew better than to ask what that thanks was referring to. She just shooed the healer off and walked around the circular building to see what Anders was doing to freak Neko out.
What she discovered was not what she'd expected. The white circular building turned out to be a small temple to the Sun. This must have been where the Cleric trainer stood, she realized belatedly, poking her head through the curtained entrance. Now that she was looking at it, she vaguely remembered coming here as ClaraSpell years ago. The place was pretty small--just a single circular room below a domed ceiling with a ring of stained-glass windows that transformed the sunlight into a rainbow of color--but it was lovely and surprisingly holy feeling, especially since Anders was kneeling on the worn golden rune at its center, bowing his head to the east as his fish lips murmured silent words.
He stopped when she came in, and Tina immediately felt guilty, as though she'd interrupted something important. She raised her hands in silent apology and started to slip back out again when Anders said, "It's okay."
"I didn't mean to interrupt you," Tina said, tilting her head curiously. "Were you praying?"
Anders sighed. "I was trying to." He g
lanced nervously at her. "Do you think that's strange?"
Tina remembered the enigmatic presence she'd felt looking down on them when Anders had cast his cleansing spell in the Deadlands, not to mention the unseen power that had guided her hammer during her sun-metal smithing earlier, and shook her head. "Absolutely not. There are definitely higher powers in this world." She leaned forward excitedly. "So did anyone answer you?"
Anders's fish-face grew sad. "Sort of. I wasn't asking for anything, though. I was apologizing."
He certainly had a lot to apologize for. Anders had tried to rape the unconscious NekoBaby back when they'd first transitioned from game to real FFO, before he'd known things were not a dream brought on by his Leylia's disease. Tina had stopped him before he'd done the deed, but that didn't mean the damage hadn't been done to all involved.
"Seeking atonement from a higher power is a good start," Tina said. "But the one you should really be apologizing to is NekoBaby. He's the one you hurt." Since Anders knew the cat-girl's secret and they were alone, Tina felt okay using NekoBaby's true gender.
"I have apologized," Anders said. "Many times. But he won't accept it. That wasn't what I was asking the gods for forgiveness for, though."
Tina winced. "What new infraction do you need to pray for?"
Anders held up his glittering staff, turning the crystal at its peak to catch the light of the afternoon sun until the whole temple glowed bright gold with the light that was unique to FFO Clerics.
"For this," he said, flashing the light a few more times before he set his staff down on the ground. "I'm a Cleric class, Roxxy. I use the holy power of the Sun every time I cast a spell, but you and I both know I'm not an actual, ordained Sun priest. I didn't earn any of these holy powers through humility or goodness of heart. Fate just handed them to me because I rolled the class. Stop and think about the theological implications of that for a minute, and you'll see why I felt the need to apologize."
"Holy shit," Tina said, taking a step back. "Are you stealing power from a god? Is it mad?" Because she didn't think she could tank the Sun if it became a problem.
