by Rachel Aaron
"I appreciate the job offer. Really, I do, but I'm not coming back." I held up my dirty poncho. "It's not pretty, but this is my life now, and I'm happy with that. Honest."
Heidi did not look convinced, but at least she didn't keep arguing. "So does that mean you'll answer when I message you now?"
"Sure," I lied. There was no way I could stay in contact with her. Not until my debt was paid and I was in the clear. But for all her talk about me being a bad liar, she must have bought it, because for the first time since I'd come in, Heidi smiled at me.
"How are you so stubborn?" she muttered, sinking into her office chair.
"Talent," I said, smiling back. "So can you help me or not?"
She sighed. "What do you need?"
I pulled out the folded notes I'd found in the warded box under the mage's bed. "Can you look at these and tell me what they are? The forms look alchemical to me, but deciphering ancient spellwork is your area of expertise, not mine."
"You always were more of a brute-force-o-mancer," Heidi agreed, wrinkling her nose as she plucked the papers from my hand. "Do I want to know why these smell like dead animal?"
I shook my head, and she sighed, thumbing through the sheets as if she was grading papers. "They're plans for a ritual," she said after a few minutes.
I nodded excitedly. "A ritual for what?"
"Something big," she said, sounding interested now despite herself. "The main structure involves multiple overlapping circles, which is an influence of modern Thaumaturgy, but the core spellwork is absolutely alchemical. Primarily the Islamic forms, but there's lots of stuff stolen from the Ancient Greeks as well." She glanced at me. "Where did you find these again?"
"In an amateur historian's apartment," I said, tactfully leaving out the bit where said amateur historian had been lying dead right next to them. "I'm trying to determine if they're valuable."
"They're certainly unique," Heidi said, laying the pages out on her desk in a grid so she could see all of them at once. "Historically, alchemy was all about transformation--turning one thing into another. Usually lead into gold, but there's no mention of gold here."
That was disappointing. Gold always sold. "So what was he trying to do?"
"I'm not sure," Heidi said, squinting at the papers. "It looks as though he's using the transformational nature of alchemy as a tool to make something, but I can't see...Ah ha!" She stabbed her finger down on a particularly doodle-covered page. "Here it is. I had to find the central variable. This is a ritual to make a cockatrice egg."
"You can make those?" I asked. Cockatrices were one of the many mythical animals that had reappeared when the magic came back. I didn't know much about them, but it seemed to me that cockatrice eggs would come from other cockatrices, not from alchemy.
"Cockatrice eggs were a vital ingredient in many Indo-European alchemy transformations," Heidi explained. "You see them mentioned all the time in historical texts, but due to their organic nature, very few are still in existence. Other than the ones laid by actual cockatrices, of course. But it takes an egg laid by a rooster and incubated by a toad to make a cockatrice naturally, which obviously doesn't happen very often, so most ancient alchemists just made their own. Unfortunately, the process for creating them was either so secret or so obvious, no one wrote it down. At least, we've never found a recipe."
My heart began to beat faster. "Does that mean these notes are valuable?"
"Not to my department," Heidi said. "I'm a magical historian, and while this little project is interesting, it's not historical. It also doesn't look very practical. I don't know how much a cockatrice egg costs these days, but this spell requires over two hundred thousand dollars in reagents, some of which are extremely morally questionable." She shrugged. "I'm sorry, Opal. It's an interesting piece of spellwork, but it's not valuable. It's not old enough or groundbreaking enough to be academically relevant, and I can't believe anyone would go through the trouble of gathering this many reagents just to make a cockatrice egg."
My soaring hopes fell with every word she spoke, but I wasn't ready to give up yet. "But do you think it would work?" I pressed. "If all the reagents were present and the spell was cast as written, do you think it would actually make an egg?"
Heidi shrugged. "Probably? I mean, I don't see any reason it wouldn't work, but you can never tell with a spell until you actually cast it. Just speaking for myself, though, if I had those reagents sitting around, I'd sell them. Or turn them in to the proper authorities. Or even keep them for my own experiments. I certainly wouldn't waste them on this. Even if you love cockatrices, this spell is simply too expensive to be practical."
I heaved a long sigh. "Well, I guess that's that," I said, standing up. "Thanks for looking at least."
"Any time," Heidi said, scraping the notes back into a neat stack and handing them to me. "But do think about my offer. I'm sure Cleaning isn't actually as dangerous as the TV shows make it look, but you graduated with honors from IMA. You're better than this. Your skills are being wasted on this garbage. You are being wasted, and I hate seeing that." She gave me a plaintive look. "Can I have your new number at least? Just in case I find a job that can tempt you away from Cleaning?"
I really didn't want to. What was the point of sucking up the pain of cutting everyone out of your life if you were just going to let them back in? But I couldn't take the way Heidi was staring at me, especially not after she'd helped me when I'd done nothing to deserve it. I could always change my number again later, so I wrote it down for her, lying through my teeth when she made me swear to answer her calls.
By the time I finally left her office, I felt utterly defeated. Not only were the notes I'd pinned my hopes on apparently worthless, I'd been thoroughly reminded of my status as the world's worst friend. Definitely not my best day, and for all her claims of being a socially sensitive AI, Sibyl wasn't helping.
"I told you this was a waste of time," she said as we climbed the stark white modern stairs back to the ground floor. "You should toss those stupid notes in the trash before they cost us any more."
"Not yet," I said stubbornly. "Some of those reagent receipts were dated less than a week before he went delinquent on his rent." I put up my hand to shield my eyes as we emerged from the basement into the late-afternoon sunlight. "That means he had to have bought them right before he died. You don't pay that much for a spell without trying it. I bet he'd either just cast it or was about to when he died. Either way, somewhere in this city, there's an unclaimed magical circle with a cockatrice egg or two hundred thousand in reagents inside it, and we're the only ones who know. That's worth keeping a line on, don't you think?"
"No I do not," Sibyl snapped. "I think you're letting your optimism run away with you again. Even if you're right, and there is a pot of gold at the end of this wild goose chase, the DFZ is a hundred and ninety-four square miles that move around. The chance of you finding one mage's circle in all of that is practically zero, and we don't have the resources to waste trying. Need I remind you that if you don't have ten thousand dollars by midnight on Friday, you're going to be screwed? You bought me to give you good advice, so listen for once: forget this and let's get back to the Cleaner office. If we hustle, we can still make it in time for the evening auction. There's always more stuff up for sale at night. We'll get a good unit, clean it fast, and turn a nice profit in time to go back tomorrow and do it all again. That's how we're going to make enough money to get through this. Not chasing wild cockatrices."
She was right, of course. Sibyl was always right, which was why I'd downloaded her. But as sensible as her advice was, throwing away the notes felt too much like tossing a lotto ticket before the numbers were announced. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, so I tucked them back into my bag instead, ordering my AI to recall our truck before she could pull up a picture of eyes to roll at me.
***
One of the hazards of living in a sentient city was that things were constantly moving around on you. It wasn't qui
te as bad as they made it seem in the movies where characters went to sleep in one part of the city and woke up somewhere else entirely, but it wasn't uncommon for blocks to relocate themselves every couple of months. Being a municipal building, the Cleaner's Office moved more than most. The DFZ loved reshuffling buildings that were entirely hers, so it wasn't uncommon to have to drive to a different part of town every day just to go to the same place you always did.
Thankfully, the office was still in the same place it had been this morning: taking up the lion's share of an Underground block a mile west of the big casinos by the river. The building was actually an old elementary school, one of those indestructible brick monsters from the 1950s that had survived two magical apocalypses. I had no idea why the DFZ had chosen something so old to be one of her personal buildings. She was relentlessly modern in everything else: demanding that all civic business be conducted online via smartphone and rebuilding Town Hall every six months so that it was always on the cutting edge of architecture. Whatever the reason, though, I liked it. The old school had a gravitas that the rest of the eternally moving city did not. I also found the fact that it still had all of its original fixtures hilarious. You have not lived until you've watched a tricked-out chromehead with leg extenders trying to drink from a water fountain built for kindergarteners. Of course, this also meant I had to put up with tiny toilets, but still: totally worth it.
The auctions were held in the old school auditorium. There were two per day: one at six a.m. and one at six p.m. Which one I went to depended on my schedule, but I almost never attended both. Hitting two auctions in one day was for volume buyers and crazy people, but apparently I fit the latter today, because here I was, and I could already tell it was going to be bad.
The room was packed. All the big Cleaners were here, including DeSantos, which sucked, because I'd thought he was still on vacation. DeSantos was the current king of the Cleaners. He had a ten-man team and a chain of secondhand stores to sell all the stuff they salvaged. He normally went for the big prizes: abandoned warehouses, closed shops, places with enough stuff to justify sending over a truck full of guys. This meant our interests didn't usually overlap, but that didn't matter. I didn't hate going up against DeSantos because he was competition. I hated being in auctions with him because DeSantos was a born troll who loved to bid people up. It didn't matter if he wanted a unit or not. If he thought you wanted it, he'd bid against you just for the pleasure of watching you squirm.
Thankfully, he seemed distracted tonight, sitting in the front row and waving his hands through an AR interface I couldn't see like he was conducting an invisible orchestra. I took the seat directly behind him, hoping that if he couldn't see me, he'd find someone else to pick on. I was arranging my goggles on top of my head so that Sibyl's best camera was pointed at the stage when someone sat down in the folding chair next to mine.
My head whipped around, and I froze, stomach curling into a knot. Great. Just great. The one night I really needed to win something decent, and Nikola Kos was sitting next to me.
Other than DeSantos's bullying, Nik was my biggest roadblock at auctions. He was a solo operator just like I was, which meant we tended to go for the same jobs: small units we could clean for good profit in a reasonable amount of time. Unlike me, though, Nik didn't have five months of horrendous bad luck dragging him down, which meant if we ended up going head to head on an auction tonight, he was going to win. But while I resented his presence on a business level, what made me flinch away was simple self-preservation.
After three and a half years in the DFZ, I was used to scary people, but Nik was a special kind of intimidating. It was hard to say why, exactly. He wasn't particularly tall or big, especially not compared to some of the other Cleaners who'd gone so overboard on the cyberwear and body augs they couldn't sit in the folding chairs without crushing them. But while he didn't have any obvious modifications or weapons I could see, there was something about Nik that put me on edge. Maybe it was the way his gray eyes never stopped moving, sizing up each person as they sat down like he expected to be attacked at any moment. Or maybe it was the way he always sat on the edge of his seat with his hands in the pockets of his black leather bomber jacket, despite the fact that it had to be ninety degrees in here.
Not that I could talk, of course. I was still wearing my warded poncho and sweating like a sponge because of it. But I'd rather faint from dehydration than take off my protections anywhere close to Nik Kos. Other than winning units I wanted, he'd never actually done anything to me, but I'd lived among predators long enough to recognize danger when it sat down next to me. I was about to move to another seat, DeSantos be damned, when Nik's roving gray eyes landed on me.
"Look who's back for more," he said, glancing down to where my hands were clutching my bag, then to my goggles, then to my filthy boots before finally returning to my face. "I heard you got sold a coffin."
"How'd you hear that?" I asked, because I hadn't told anyone except Broker and Peter.
Nik shrugged. "Did you get your money back, or did Broker cut you a deal to preserve his 'no refunds' streak?"
"Why do you want to know?" I asked suspiciously.
He shrugged again. "Just trying to determine if you already picked the place over so I know not to bid on it when it comes back up for auction." He flashed me a sharp smile. "So did you find anything good?"
Now it was my turn to shrug. "You think I'd be back here if I did?"
"Yes," he said without hesitation. "Cleaning a unit takes no time if you don't have to actually clean. You can grab the good stuff, auction it, have a nap, and come back for another round. That's what I'd do."
I sighed. That's what I would've liked to do, but there was no way I was telling Nik about my day of failure, so I changed the subject instead. "Why are you back? Didn't you win two jobs this morning?"
"I did," he said. "But they were both evictions in closet communities. You know, the apartment buildings where all the units are six-by-six-foot boxes stacked on top of each other? Those things take no time to clean. I had everything wrapped up before lunch, so now I'm back for more."
He said this as if it were a good day's work, but the more he talked, the more I pulled back into my chair. This was the real reason I didn't like Nik. Cleaning wasn't exactly a noble calling--we were scavengers who paid for the privilege of digging through other people's trash in the hopes of finding enough treasure to make it worth the effort--but at least I didn't kick people out of their homes for profit.
A very good profit, admittedly. Unlike Cleaning, you didn't have to bid on eviction jobs. The city paid a flat rate to clean out delinquent tenants, and you got to keep all their stuff in return for cleaning the apartment so it could be rented again. It was the best money you could make in this business hands down, but desperate as I was for cash, there were some lines you just didn't cross, and apparently terrifying broke people out of their tiny closet homes was mine. I was trying to think up an excuse to get away from this conversation when Broker walked into the room.
I should point out that "Broker" was not Broker's real name. No one who made his money selling people's abandoned apartments to scavengers was stupid enough to give out anything that could be traced back to his real life. Even his face was anonymous, so perfected by plastic surgery that he looked more like a photo collage of menswear models than an actual person. He was the only full-time member of the Collections or Cleaning offices that any of us ever saw, and he made sure even that was a professional mask.
"Settle down, children, settle down," he said as he hopped up onto the stage. "We've got a lot of units to get through tonight, so we're going to do this fast. First up are evictions. I've got seven. Who wants them?"
I glanced hopefully at Nik. If he took another eviction job, that would remove my main competition. But my bad-luck streak must have still been running hot, because his hand stayed down. There were plenty of other heartless thugs who loved cash in the room, though, and the evictions went quic
k, moving us on to the real show: the Cleaner Auction.
Auctions were a pretty simple affair. Every unit up for bid had an address, square footage, and usually a picture taken from just outside the front door. Sometimes, if it was a really big place, you'd get a second picture from the back for scale, but normally those three bits were all the information you got. The trick to being a good Cleaner was knowing how to use them.
For example, tonight's first auction was for a five-room penthouse in the Financial District. The posh address was enough to get the new guys salivating, but I wasn't even tempted, because while the picture showed a lot of fancy-looking furniture, the paintings above them were mass-produced reproductions of the same ten super-famous modern works every wanna-look-rich jerk in the DFZ hung on his walls.
They weren't even good reproductions. The printing on the copy of Fowley's abstract masterpiece New Spirits hanging over the white leather sofa was so bad that I could see the artifacting from here. If the previous owner had been that sloppy about his art picks, the rest of his stuff was sure to be just as tacky and fake. I knew without even seeing them that the other four rooms would be packed with the same sort of cheaply made, overpriced junk, and while the downtown boutiques made bank selling that garbage to rich idiots who didn't know better, it was hell to move, and you couldn't resell it to save your life, which meant it was worthless. I wouldn't have paid five hundred for that unit, much less the thousands the idiots in the back were shouting out. Nik and DeSantos kept their hands down as well, happy to let the competition waste their money.
After that was when things got really interesting. Broker hadn't been kidding when he'd said it was a big list tonight. There was a whole slew of top-ticket items on the block, including an entire abandoned auto mechanic's shop complete with equipment. DeSantos was the only bidder in the room with enough people to handle something that size, and he ended up winning it for a song, the lucky bastard. He lost the next big offering, a boarded-up shoe shop, to Melly, an eccentric old lady who was always snapping bulk cloth and clothing lots to fuel her upcycled fashion business, but not before bidding her right to the edge of profitability.
