by Tia Siren
I was sobbing again.
“I know,” Luke said in a low voice. “I feel just as cheated, Lex.”
I sighed with a shudder. Luke put his arm around me and pulled me closer. He was so big and muscular. In his arms, nothing could get to me. Except, as it turned out, grief. I cried against his chest, allowing myself to fall apart. He would hold me together if I needed him, I knew. He held me, saying nothing, stroking my back in slow circles, letting me cry.
Finally, when the crying calmed down, I took a deep breath. Luke’s cologne filled my nose, and the smell was familiar and sexy at the same time. Everything about Luke screamed sex appeal, and it wasn’t hard to notice, even when I felt like shit.
Or maybe that was why I noticed it. It was a distraction, a reason to forget.
“You look good in a suit,” I said, looking up at him.
Luke smiled. “Thanks. It itches at my neck, and these shoes are killing me.”
I chuckled. “Thank you,” I said.
“For what?”
I snuggled back against his chest. “For being here for us. For helping. For doing everything when none of us can think straight.”
I felt Luke nod. “Of course, Lex. This is my family, too. You’re not the only one who lost a brother.”
Luke and Dalton had been so close. I didn’t know how he could push through it all without falling apart, too. I appreciated his strength. I wouldn’t have made it through without him.
“God, this is so unfair,” I said. “They just took him away and we have to pick up the pieces. And they’re getting away with it.”
Anger replaced my sorrow. It was easier to deal with, easier to digest.
“We’ll find them,” Luke said. “We’ll find whoever did this, and we’ll avenge his death. Okay?”
When Luke looked at me again, his blue eyes were icy and dangerous. “I know this wasn’t an accident, and I’m not going to rest until I find out who did it and why.”
“That’s dangerous,” I said.
Luke nodded. “I’m a big boy, and they fucked with my family. I’m not going to let it slide.”
I believed him. Luke was the definition of loyalty, and he was a big boy in every sense of the phrase.
I ran my hand down his arm. His muscles, strong and firm, bulged beneath his shirt. Luke was one of the hottest men I knew. His body was to die for, and he carried himself like he knew it. Maybe it was because I knew him so well that I found him even more attractive. I saw the soul that was inside, and I liked it when he held me.
I’d had a crush on Luke for the longest time. He was my older brother’s best friend, so he was always at the house. And why not? He was hot, with light brown hair that was always stylishly messy, blue eyes that stared into your soul, and a body he’d been working on for years now.
He was exactly my type—hot and delicious.
And he had his arms wrapped around me.
Except this was the least romantic situation I could ever imagine Luke and I to be together in. My brother had been murdered, and I wasn’t in a place where I could think about anything other than the fact that my life would never be the same. And even though Luke had been a crush for so long, he was a hero to me now because he had saved my family from being crippled completely by grief.
God, maybe one day I would go back to fantasizing about the hottest man alive. One day I would go back to hoping that we would be something, that he would see me as something other than a little sister.
But for now I had to survive. I had to wake up every morning and focus on breathing. I had to keep my chest pumping air in and out and focus on putting food in my mouth. One day that would become automatic again and I would stop thinking about it. One day I would feel like living wasn’t a chore.
“I’ll take care of this, Lex,” Luke said again, and I nodded against his chest, believing him.
Chapter 3
Luke
It was three days after the funeral, and I struggled to fall asleep. It was already in the early hours of Thursday morning, and I was still wide awake. I fucking missed Dalton. I missed talking to my best friend and brother, and it fucked my head up knowing we could never hang out again. I’d known him my whole life, and knowing that he was gone made me feel incomplete. When you made friends that close, you never consider the hell it would be to lose them.
The funeral on Monday had been a nightmare. I’d had to be strong for the Starr family because they needed me and I’d promised Dalton I would be there for them. I would have done it anyway. They were my family, too, and in a time like this, they needed me the most.
But what I’d really wanted to do, instead of cleaning house and supporting crying women, was get fucking drunk in honor of Dalton and pass out so that I could forget my own pain.
I was glad I’d been there for Alexa, though. She wasn’t coping with Dalton’s death well at all. Not that I could blame her. When I’d spoken to him on the phone that Friday night, he’d been right to ask me to look out for her. She was innocent and pure, and the ugly life Dalton had been involved in didn’t suit her at all. It was a pity it had brushed up against her in the form of his death.
I was going to make sure nothing else about his life came close to her. I had to keep an eye on her and make sure she was all right. I didn’t want whatever Dalton had been involved in to spill over into the lives of his family. I wasn’t sure how to watch her constantly without looking like a creeper. Sure, I was a family friend, but I didn’t want her to think I was stalking her.
Although being around her all the time wouldn’t be a chore at all. I was comfortable around her—most of the time. Sometimes she was so fucking sexy that she turned me on, and hiding an erection from your brother’s sister wasn’t comfortable at all.
Alexa was beautiful in every sense of the word. She was just the right amount of curvy, with breasts big enough that she would be an easy handful and hips that would make men sit up and beg. She carried herself with elegance and grace. I didn’t think she knew how sexy she was.
And that hair, God, that hair. Long and silky, dark brown and beautiful. It hung over her shoulders in thick waves, and I could just imagine what it would feel like with her straddling me, her hair on my chest, her lips on my pectoral muscles.
I shook off the thought. I was getting hard just thinking about her, and even though I would have loved to go out and get some sex now, I had bigger things to worry about.
Like that someone had murdered Dalton. Someone had been out to get him. When I’d called him, he’d been worried that someone was after him. Well, he hadn’t been wrong. Someone had been after him, and whoever it was had caught up with him.
I was going to find out who it was. I wanted to know what Dalton had been involved in and why he’d been so worried about getting killed.
Who could I speak to who would tell me? The club was very strict about information. Anyone who spoke about something they shouldn’t have got killed. Most of the time they made it look like suicide, suggesting that whoever had snitched had eaten a bullet. Being around Dalton had taught me more than I cared to know.
Now I was glad he’d told me all these things. He’d confided in me because I was the one person who was uninvolved and, therefore, safe.
I had to find someone who was willing to talk to me. Surely the news of Dalton’s death would be well-known among all the motorcycle clubs. Someone’s death could serve as a warning just as well as a punishment. If word got out that someone was killed because of something they did, it created fear among the rest of them. MC clubs ruled through fear.
I could count on one hand the people I knew who were involved with the Samurai, and none of them were going to talk to me after Dalton dying unless they had a good reason. Dalton had been the common denominator. I wouldn’t have met them at all if it hadn’t been for him.
There was only one person I could ask about it. Dalton had introduced me to Sam a while ago, and even though we weren’t tight like Dalton and I had been, we had spent
enough time together that I considered him a friend of my own by now. He was also a Samurai, which meant that if anyone knew anything, it would be him.
I would contact him in the morning and see what I could find out. If Sam couldn’t help me out, maybe he could point me in the right direction at least. He was one of Dalton’s few friends who had his head right about this shit. He hadn’t been at the funeral—none of the Samurai had attended—and I had the feeling it had been for fear of his own life. When you were associated with the wrong people, things ended badly.
At least I had some kind of lead, something to go by. With that knowledge, sleep finally crept up on me. I could fall asleep now that I had a plan of action, and I let the sleep drag me under.
I met Sam at Hollenbeck Park during lunch the next day. I had called him first thing in the morning, and he’d been reluctant, but he was my only connection with that world right now.
“Thanks for meeting me,” I said when we sat on a bench overlooking the Hollenbeck skate park. Teenagers on skateboards were doing tricks and falling more than succeeding. The park was full, as if no one had to be at school or work now. We sat far from each other, as if we were two strangers sharing the same bench, and Sam didn’t look at me when he spoke.
“It’s dangerous for me to be here.”
“I know,” I said. “I appreciate it.”
“I don’t want what happened to Dalton to happen to me.”
Definitely not a mugging then. Sam was nervous. He was tall and lanky. He wore khaki pants and polo shirts, not black leather and sleeveless shirts, and I knew he liked to read when he was alone. He didn’t look like the type that would belong to a gang like the Samurai. But the way his eyes shifted over the park at regular intervals, his leg popping like he didn’t know what to do with all the extra adrenaline, and looking older than his years—the constant fear and a hierarchy that wasn’t natural would do that to you.
“What did happen to Dalton?” I asked, getting to the point. “I have a feeling the police aren’t telling us the truth.”
Sam shook his head back and forth, back and forth.
“I can’t tell you much, okay?” he said.
“It’s fine. Tell me what you can.”
Sam let out a breath in a shudder. It wasn’t a hot day, but his shirt had dark circles under his armpits. He was sweating out his fear.
“Dalton got involved with some shady deals. He spoke to the wrong people about the wrong things, and they found him out.”
“What deals?” I asked.
Sam glanced at me, his dark eyes too big in his pale face. “I can’t tell you that. I’m sorry, Luke. If I snitch, they’re going to hurt me bad.”
He swallowed, and his eyes darted around the park again, as if he expected the enemy to jump out from behind the halfpipe.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what else to say to you.”
I shook my head. “Don’t sweat it, Sam.” The man was obviously sweating it, and I felt bad for him. He was terrified of something. I knew from what Dalton had told me what a hard life it was to belong to a biker gang, how hard the leaders were on the men, how expendable the men were. Fear was the big kicker, and everything revolved around holding on to your life with both hands, hoping you didn’t lose your grip.
“There’s one more thing,” Sam said. “I heard a conversation between Mason and another member of the club.”
I’d heard the name before. Koby Mason was the president of the Samurai. He was the man in charge, the man everyone feared if I remembered correctly.
“What were they saying?” I asked.
Sam shook his head. “Not here. If they’re watching me, they’ll really know I’m snitching. I’ll send you a text or something.”
I nodded. Sam was terrified, and that made me worried for him.
“If you’re that worried, you should leave,” I added. “I don’t want you to end up like Dalton, either, and from what I can tell, the Samurai don’t exactly value their members.”
Sam sighed. “How nice that would be. I guess we can all dream.”
I frowned. “I’m not trying to be funny, Sam. Get out of here while you still can. Save yourself.”
Sam shook his head. “I can’t do that. If I leave town, they’ll think there was a reason for it and they’ll hunt me down. You don’t run unless you have something to hide.”
“Maybe you run because this is bullshit and people shouldn’t be treated this way. Your life shouldn’t be a maybe.”
Sam chuckled, and it wasn’t cheerful.
“It’s good to know there are people still so positive about life and options out there. If you’ve been in the gang as long as I have, you start realizing what a privilege it is to be alive at all, and you realize how easy it is for it to be taken away from you. Life is fucking fragile, Luke. It can be over at any moment.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” I said.
Sam turned, and for the first time, he looked right at me. He looked scared.
“No offense, but you don’t get it, Luke. I have to go.”
He got up and walked away without giving me a chance to respond to that. I sighed and turned my attention back to the kids on the ramps. They weren’t very good at all, but I guessed you had to start somewhere.
Sam had told me that Dalton had been involved with deals. Dalton had mentioned that he’d spoken to the wrong people and that he’d fucked up. Sam was right; I didn’t know enough about that world to connect the dots all the way. What I did know, I only knew from what Dalton had told me. He’d told me that other clubs were the “wrong people.” There was no one they had to avoid the way they had to avoid rival clubs. It was a shot in the dark, but at least I had a general direction.
I just had to figure out what this was all about. What deal had Dalton tried to do, and with whom? What had he done that was so wrong? I didn’t know enough, and I wasn’t going to join the club to find out, either. My life was precious to me, and I had a duty to fulfill. I had to look after Alexa and her parents. I would be no good to them dead.
When I couldn’t figure any more out, I got up. I looked around, wondering if someone really had been watching Sam while we’d been sitting here. I walked to my car and got in.
Dalton hadn’t wanted to tell me what was going on because ratting someone out would get him killed. He’d gotten killed anyway.
Sam hadn’t wanted to tell me anything because he’d said he would get killed for snitching, and running away apparently wasn’t an option.
Whatever was going on, it was bad, and Sam seemed to think he was in trouble already.
What the hell was going on?
Chapter 4
Alexa
The more time that passed, the more Dalton’s death settled. I wasn’t nearly okay with it yet, but I didn’t feel like I was dying, either. Friday, two weeks after the funeral, Ariel and I went out for the first time since it had happened.
“I don’t know what to wear,” I said, standing in underwear in front of my closet.
“Don’t go crazy,” Ariel said, straightening her hair in front of the mirror. “I’m wearing jeans and that red top I bought last week.”
I nodded. This was the hardest part. Lately, I’d been struggling to do mundane, everyday things like they were so damn important. Life was short, and I spent so much time fussing about things that didn’t matter. Dalton’s death had pointed that out to me.
“Is it okay if I wear your black top?” I asked.
“Of course.”
I walked to Ariel’s bag and found the black top. I paired it with dark skinny jeans and black kitten heels. I sat for Ariel to straighten my wavy hair and applied smoky makeup and red lipstick.
My phone beeped.
“It’s Luke again,” I said, reading the text.
“Is he going to join us?” Ariel asked.
“Looks like it,” I said. “He’s not taking no for an answer. He’s serious about watching out for me.”
Ariel didn’t answer. I didn’t mind Luke being a little overbearing. Since Dalton’s death, he’d been popping in at my place almost every day. Now that I was going out, he wanted to join us. It was a good enough excuse to spend time with him.
“I’ve met him before, right?” Ariel asked.
I nodded. “Once in sophomore year. I don’t know if you remember.”
She shook her head. “I’ve met a few of Dalton’s friends. They’re all one male blur in my mind. Is he hot?”
I nodded. “You’ll see when you meet him.”
We left the house. We were going to do this. I was going out, and I was going to have fun.
Far Bar was a fun place to go. It wasn’t exactly mainstream, but it was full often enough, and you could get sushi along with your cocktails. The décor was cozy, with a dark bar, leather stools, and booths around the sides. When we walked into the bar, music wrapped me in a cocoon, and I wanted to go back home. Everything felt like too much suddenly.
I followed Ariel to the bar. She ordered two mojitos, but I was suddenly not in the mood to drink anymore. Some people got wasted to run away from their pain. I didn’t see the point.
“Are you doing okay?” Ariel asked.
I nodded. She eyed me like a friend who knew me too well, and I sighed.
“I’ll be fine, Ariel,” I said. “I just need time.”
Ariel nodded and sipped her mojito.
“When is Luke arriving?” she asked.
I shrugged. I’d told him where we were. I took a sip of my cocktail. The taste of alcohol was bitter on my tongue, more pronounced than usual, and I didn’t want it.
“Hello, ladies,” Luke said, appearing next to me. I smiled and stood up to hug him.
“This is Ariel,” I said to Luke. I watched Ariel’s face as he took her hand. Her eyes were wide, and she glanced at me.
“I remember,” Luke said.
Ariel smiled, blushing a little. I knew why she was reacting like that. Luke had that effect on women. They couldn’t hold it together in front of him. I didn’t blame them, either. He was hot.
He looked great tonight, too. He wore a collared short-sleeved shirt. The sleeves hugged his biceps like they wouldn’t let go, and his shoulders were broad. He wore faded-in-all-the-right-places Levi’s that hung off his hips, and he wore them like he was doing them a favor. His hair had been raked out of his face like he’d only used his fingers, and his blue eyes were bright and intense.
