by Tia Siren
“Take a seat a-anywhere, gentlemen.”
They all looked at me as the crack in my voice registered. I cursed myself for being so nervous, for not being able to keep my cool. The room was filling with men I’d come to enjoy, come to care for.
Come to love.
And there was a chance I’d lose all of that before they left.
Finally, at two minutes after eight, the Castle brothers arrived. I threw open the door, and Liam immediately scooped me up into his arms. He smelled of smoke and fire, and there was soot all over his face. I clung to him, holding him tightly as Logan came around and hugged me from behind.
“Are you guys all right?” I asked.
“We will be soon,” Liam said.
“Sorry we’re late,” Logan said.
“Don’t be. I’m just glad you’re okay,” I said.
They held me for quite some time, and part of me wanted to ask what building had burned in the area. Was everyone okay? Did everyone get out? They were squeezing the life from me as tears rose to my eyes. Something had happened to them today, and I wanted to make it better.
My heart lurched for them both as they slowly set me down on my feet.
Liam leaned his forehead against mine while Logan fluttered his hands down my arms. They were drinking me in, sniffing me deeply, memorizing how I felt. How I smelled. How I sounded.
How I wished we were alone so I could comfort them.
“Come take a seat. Everyone else is here,” I whispered.
I walked them over to where everyone else was seated, and the men all stood to hug them. Some patted them on the back, others hugged them for longer than I’d ever seen men hug. It was the first time I’d seen all of them interact this way, and something sparked in my gut.
Hope.
I had hope that this would work out.
“Aren’t you gonna sit?” Kyle asked.
“Nope. I’m too nervous,” I said.
“Please, I’ll stand,” Kevin said.
“Not necessary, I promise. But thank you,” I said.
“Talk to us,” Cole said.
“You can come to us with anything,” Cameron said soothingly.
“So, Christmas is a week away,” I said.
“My favorite time of year,” Tony said, grinning.
“And I’ve already been given a fabulous gift,” I said as I smiled at the Wolf brothers.
“What is it?” Logan asked.
“Tony and Terry have purchased a mansion just outside the city limits. They’re fixing it up, and they’ve offered to let me move in,” I said, smiling.
“That’s wonderful, Lexi,” Cole said.
“And very nice of them,” Cameron said.
“It keeps me from having to find a place of my own. I’ll be here, per their request, for a couple more days. That’s when Terry says the renovations will be complete, and that’s when I’ll get to move the very few things I own over there.”
“Don’t worry, darling. We’ll change that soon enough,” Tony said, grinning.
“At any rate, there was something else brought up in the discussion that I wanted to talk with you guys about,” I said.
I saw the guys brace themselves. In a way, they all knew what was coming, every single one of them. All of their eyes hooked on me as I drew a deep breath through my nose. I knew once I started talking, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
“I want you guys to move in with me,” I said.
Shocked rolled over their faces as they looked around at one another. Well, except for the Wolf brothers. They simply smiled at me and nodded their heads, like they were somehow proud of what I was doing—standing up for what I wanted and trying to make it happen.
Their smiles, coupled with their piercing brown eyes, sent shivers down my spine.
“It’s why I kept putting all of you off when you kept asking me to choose,” I said.
“Wait, you guys did what?” Tony asked.
“Down boy,” I said, grinning. “I took care of it. At any rate, I want all of you, need all of you, crave all of you. I’ve never considered myself a complicated person, and I have always been independent, but each and every one of you fulfill a part deep inside me that no man has ever touched before. Being with you guys, it’s like a dream come true. And when I’m with you guys, there’s always something that happens that reminds me of another.”
“What do you mean?” Kevin asked.
“Remember the date we went on?” I asked. “You took me to that French restaurant and I sat in between the two of you?”
“I remember fondly,” Kyle said, smiling.
“There was a moment when your hands were roaming all over me and I realized that was what I needed. I needed a man whose hands couldn’t stay off me. But, it reminded me of the date I had with the Castle brothers, how gentle their caresses had been in public, like they were only for us to know about. I didn’t wish I wanted to be with them instead of you guys…not by a long shot. But, it sparked a memory, a memory that only deepened the love I have for you two.”
I realized what I’d just said as the eyes of the Jameson brothers widened. I felt my face flush as I dipped my gaze to the floor, and suddenly I wanted to melt into it.
“You love us?” Kyle asked.
“I do. Each and every one of you, for different reasons that all make up the beauty of who you guys are. But I can’t be with one of you without being reminded of another. That’s why I can’t choose just one,” I said.
I looked up into the eyes of Kevin, and it seemed to finally click with him. He started nodding his head before he looked over at his brother, who was still stunned by my emotional admission.
“I can’t dance in Terry’s arms without thinking about how Cole cradled my head in that broom closet,” I said.
“Sounds like a good time, love,” Terry said, smirking.
“And I can’t fall asleep beside Cameron while he threads his baseball-chiseled body around me without thinking about how long and comforting Kyle and Kevin’s arms and legs are,” I said.
“All the more to cuddle you with, my dear,” Kevin said, smiling.
“All of you are insane,” I said. “The point is, while you each fulfill a deep and desperate part of me that has been empty for so long, there are also things you each do that spark memories of another. I can’t just choose, because then my heart would ache. I’ve fallen in love with every single one of you, and I can’t help that. I can’t help the fact that I want all of you, together, for as long as I can have you. I can’t choose, and I won’t. Ever. You are all precious to me, and my heart soars for each and every one of you exactly the same way it does for the other,” I said.
“Do you think about other men when we’re sleeping together?” Logan asked curiously.
“Nope. Not one bit,” I said.
“I could change that if you’d like, darling,” Tony said, grinning.
“No,” I said. “If I can’t have all of you, I’m not taking any of you. It’s that simple. Being with one of you with the memories it conjures would only bring me more heartache, and I think I’ve experienced enough of that for one lifetime.”
“Amen to that,” Liam said as he wiped at some soot on his chin.
“But you’ll be with the Wolf brothers no matter what, right?” Logan asked.
“Huh?”
“You’re moving in with them. Surely you’ll keep seeing them even if we can’t all agree on this,” Logan said.
“We won’t see her,” Tony said, “because we know how to respect her wishes once she lays them down.”
Tony and Terry turned to glare at the Castle brothers. I had known tension would rise in this meeting, but I hadn’t thought it would be over something like this. I figured they would all be upset with me for spreading myself too thin or whatever.
I hadn’t thought the tension would arise because my wishes hadn’t been respected.
“How do you guys feel about all this?” I asked.
“We care for
you greatly, Lexi,” Cole said.
“And we can’t imagine not having you in our lives,” Cameron said.
“You already know how we feel about it, darling,” Tony said.
“And we’re elated to hear that you’re going to move in, love,” Terry said.
“You are the beauty we’ve latched onto, especially when our job has days like this,” Logan said.
“What he said,” Liam said, sighing.
“We’re talking about that later, by the way,” I said, pointing at the Castle brothers.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about our night together,” Kevin said.
“I love you,” Kyle said breathlessly.
My head whipped over to him and our eyes connected. His azure gaze raked over me as he slowly rose to his feet. He walked closer to me, his arm wrapping around my back slowly, and he pulled my body into his as my hand raised to cup his cheek.
“I love you, Lexi,” Kyle said again.
Slowly and easily, he brought his lips down to mine. His glasses slid down his nose as his other hand wrapped around to brace the back of my neck. There was no tongue, no force, no desperate passion. There was just a man who was finally willing to admit how he felt and wanted nothing more than to feel the woman he loved in his arms.
And I felt beautiful in that very moment.
Kyle pulled back and smiled as my eyes fluttered open. His blue eyes were sparkling with joy as his thumb slowly ran across the apple of my cheek. I smiled at him, my neck flushing with desire as he slowly unwound his arms from my body. I watched him sit back down on the couch next to his brother.
“I want to live with all of you,” I said as I ripped my gaze from Kyle. “That’s what I want for Christmas.”
“Okay,” Kyle said.
“Just hold on a second,” Kevin said.
“What?” Kyle asked incredulously.
“It’s all right, Kyle. I’ll step away so you guys can think. Just know, there’s no talking about this after this meeting is done. Whether we’re here for an hour or five hours, when we all get up to leave, that’s that,” I said.
Before they could get in another word, I walked my weakened legs back into my room. I shut the door and sighed, closing my eyes as my head came to a jolted stop. I’d said everything I needed to say, and I’d found some sort of peace within. I heard my phone buzzing on the counter, no doubt Courtney calling me, so I flopped myself onto the bed and picked up the phone.
“Hey there, Court.”
Chapter 36
“Going that well, huh?” Courtney asked.
“I mean, it is and it isn’t,” I said.
“Talk to me. What’s going on? What can I do?”
“I don’t think there’s anything you can do. I’ve said what I needed to say and I have found a sort of peace with that,” I said.
“Good. That’s good.”
“I did get them all to admit that they care for me. Kyle went so far as to say he loved me before he gave me a kiss.”
“Holy hell, that’s really good, Lexi. What did the other guys do?”
“Well, Tony and Terry were simply grinning,” I said.
“Doesn’t shock me. The Wolf brothers seem to be freaky freaks in my opinion,” she said.
“But the other men still aren’t sold. I can see it on their faces,” I said.
“Do you want me to come back up there?”
“No, no. You enjoy your dinner and drinks. I’ll shoot you a text message when we’re all done here.”
“Seriously, take your time,” she said. “If I’m done with dinner and haven’t heard from you, I can always go peek in at work and see what’s happening there, see if they need any help.”
“That place is lucky to have you,” I said.
“Damn straight they are. Keep me updated.”
“I will. Thanks, Court.”
“Anytime.”
The pessimistic part of my gut took over the moment I hung up the phone. All it would take was one brother not being onboard for me to lose all of them. I’d seen the shock on their faces, how they didn’t appreciate being backed into a corner. The Castle brothers seemed to be the most relentless about this. They were the ones who apparently had all the kickback. I wondered why. Why was it so hard for them to understand that I loved them all and that I wanted to care for and crave them all? There was enough of my heart to go around. There really was.
I just didn’t get how it couldn’t work.
I never thought I would experience disappointment like this. My heart was sinking to my toes while the men continued to murmur outside in the hotel suite. I was in love with them, all of them, all eight of those glorious, gorgeous, strong, talented, intelligent men. I never thought in a million years my heart would feel so full by being surrounded by people. I never thought I could feel so wanted, respected, and loved while fully loving and appreciating eight different men. While I wasn’t sure I fully understood what was happening to me, I knew I was no longer denying myself what my heart so desperately wanted.
I’d done that for three years, and I wasn’t doing it any longer.
All I wanted them to do was understand. I felt cherished when I was surrounded by them. Important. Safe. Holy hell, did I ever feel safe with them around! In a way, I knew it was the only way I’d ever feel safe, especially with what they’d all done and everything they had dropped in order to come protect me and guard this room. If I hadn’t been in love with them before, I fell in love with all of them the moment they dropped their own lives to come defend mine.
I felt my heart swelling in my chest, threatening to burst forth, when I heard a knock on my door.
“Lexi?” Liam asked.
I scrambled off my bed and collected myself before I opened the door. I looked up into light brown eyes, and for the first time, I noticed they were speckled with hazel. I smiled up at him as his ash-covered hand came up to cup my cheek. He dipped his lips to mine as I giggled into his skin.
Liam pulled back, and my eyes fluttered open. I got lost in his eyes one last time, but then he stepped off to the side. All eight men were standing at my door, their hands in various places on their bodies. The Wolf brothers had their hands in their suit pockets while the Jameson brothers had their hands behind their backs. The Oakley brothers had their hands clasped in front of them, and when I looked over at the Castle brothers, their hands were situated on their hips.
“I think it’s time for you to come sit, darling,” Tony said.
He pulled his hand from his pocket and held it out for mine. His large hand and slender fingers dwarfed mine, curling around me as he led me to the couch. He guided me over and sat me down before pressing onto my shoulders as I fell back into the cushions.
Then all eight men gathered around me with smiles on their faces.
“I love you, Lexi, because of your innocent charm,” Tony said.
“What?” I asked.
“I love the way your hair falls in your face even though you might not want it to, darling,” Tony said.
“And I love you because of your laughter, love,” Terry said. “I love the way your fingertips wind in my hair and scratch against my scalp when you wish to pull me closer to your body.”
“I love you because of your passion for your job,” Logan said. I whipped my eyes over to him. “I also love the way you seem to melt into me when I hug you.”
“And I love you because of your stubbornness,” Liam said. The other men groaned.
“She could have a bit less of that,” Tony said.
“Hey now,” I protested.
“And I also love how you wrap your arms around me. It’s like you want to keep me safe,” Liam said, smiling.
“Well, I love you because of your curiosity,” Kevin said. “I love that you want to know more about our jobs and how they affect my brother and I mentally.”
“And I love you because of your free spirit,” Kyle said, “the way you seem to move through life with little or no care in the
world. It inspires me to do the same.”
“I love you because of your ability to have fun,” Cole said, grinning. “I love that you let loose on the dance floor and simply allow the music to take you where it may.”
“And I love you because of your submission,” Cameron said. “I love that, in those moments of passion when your body is spread for us, you trust us wholly and completely. I enjoy knowing that you feel safe with me.”
“I feel safe with all of you,” I said breathlessly.
Tears were tumbling down my cheeks, and my heart was pounding against my chest so hard I knew they could probably see it. My hands trembled as I brought them up to wipe my tears away, and in that moment, I was no longer concerned about their answer.
Every single one of these men loved me, and there would never be a point in my life that would top this one.
At least until Tony bent down and took my hands in his.
“Darling, can you look at me?” he asked.
I raised my watery gaze to him as he smiled his decadent smile. His dark brown eyes glowed as he brought my hands to his lips, kissing them over and over as Kevin settled down beside me.
“It took a great deal of bravery to have this conversation with all of us,” Kevin said as he rubbed my back.
“It only makes me love you more,” Liam said as he sat on my other side.
“I think we all have something to tell you, love,” Terry said, grinning.
“Wha—what’s that?” I asked.
“One, two, three,” Liam counted off.
“We all want to move in and live with you.”
My eyes widened as they chanted the phrase at the same time. My eyes darted between them, taking in their smiling faces as tears of joy continued to pour down my face. I looked at Tony, kneeling before me as a goofy smile crossed my face. I looked over at Kevin, his hand still rubbing my back as he leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. I felt Liam’s hand scoot over my thigh, massaging it tenderly as I looked over at him and giggled.
I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard.
“You all really want to?”
“Yes,” Cameron said. “We really do.”
