I could barely think straight, so I did what any self-respecting, terrified girl would do when attacked by a monster. I kicked him as hard as I could where it counted, and just like any other monster, he collapsed, tightening into a ball, his fingers releasing my neck.
We both fell to the cement floor, gasping for air. Stars flashed in my vision. Crawling toward the stairs and still overwhelmingly dizzy, I tried to move away from Adam, but his hand reached out and grabbed my ankle. I kicked him hard with my other foot, but he wouldn’t let go. He lay there for a moment, growling, and then flopped to his stomach, pinning me with a glare. The hate in his eyes produced a terrified scream from me, and I flailed over the floor in my effort to escape him, but he grabbed my other leg and held me down, climbing up my prone body like a snake.
His nails dug into my thighs, like a maniacal, wild animal, and his growling didn’t cease until he had me pinned beneath him. His noxious breath—like rotting meat—wafted over my face.
“You can’t kill me,” I cried. “It’s against the rules.” My fingers worked against his as I tried to pry his hands away, but his fists were like iron around my throat. His body pinned me to the ground, and in that moment, I was struck with the irony of my situation. All this time, I had wanted out of Claire’s body, and now that the prospect was at hand, I didn’t.
No. That wasn’t right. I just didn’t want to be violently murdered. I didn’t want my last moments on Earth to be spent gazing into Adam’s eyes. I didn’t want him to steal my life. It wasn’t his to take.
As I suffocated, my mind began to shut down. I grew steadily weaker, my muscles feeling like rubber. The floor felt cold and frigid against my back. I was devastated to realize it hurt so much… to die like this… And everything grew darker as Adam’s fingers squeezed harder…
My neck would break at any moment.
“You kill me, you kill Claire,” I gasped one last time, as strength left my arms and they fell limp at my sides.
“You’re already dead,” he hissed.
In the twinkling of an instant, I stood behind him, staring at Claire’s limp body lying in his grasp. It took him only an instant to realize I wasn’t resisting or begging for my life any longer. He glanced to the left, and then to the right, and saw me standing there, watching him.
With a look of dismay, he glanced back down to Claire’s lifeless form, her mouth slack, her eyes staring.
“No!” Immediately, he leaned over her to feel for breath or a heartbeat. Frantically he began pumping her chest. “Help me!” he shrieked.
I just stood there. He was maniacal, trying to revive Claire.
“This is what you chose,” I said. “And choices have a way of coming back to bite you.”
His eyes narrowed, and the hate in his expression returned. “I’ll get you. I promise you that.”
“Not if Bas Iblis gets you first.” I would’ve loved to say it with a smirk, but I couldn’t. I remembered the feeling of power Bas Iblis displayed, and he terrified me. I couldn’t imagine what he’d do to Adam. His trusted lackey had killed a vital player in his plan, letting me escape in the process. Adam was dead meat. Truly and completely.
His lips pulled back into a vicious smirk, but I could see the panic in his eyes. He wrenched his hands away from Claire’s body and half stood, half crouched before me as though he was some powerful vengeance-seeker, ready to wrestle me.
I laughed at his pathetic display of strength. But I was no longer afraid. I could see, feel, and almost taste his fear. Something inside me compelled me to reach out and grasp this evil, vile demon spit up from hell, so I focused on the energy I felt just beneath the surface. The power that made my soul energized and tingly, and then I slowly placed my hand on Adam’s shoulder. He never even tried to escape, just cowered in submission.
A flash of energy passed from my hand into his body, singeing and smoking his skin where we connected, and even though the pain was almost more than I could bear, I held onto him as he cringed, paralyzed and grounded, as though by a bolt of lightning.
When the surge slackened, I let go and fell to one knee, remembering too late that energy like this came at a price. Adam didn’t only collapse—he also lost consciousness. I didn’t waste time. I rushed over to Claire, who was surely dead, and put my fingers to her neck. I couldn’t feel a pulse. In fact, I couldn’t feel anything like I used to. I was back to being a spirit with only a dim sense of the physical world, but when I touched her, I realized on a spiritual level that she was still alive, if barely.
I rushed up the stairs and fervently begged Angela to go down and check on Claire. I stood beside her, invisible, screaming my instructions like a madwoman. For a moment, she froze as though listening—which surprised me—and then she obeyed. Not many people were this easy to influence. I was in a panic though, and wondered what she’d think when she saw a strange man lying on the floor beside her unconscious daughter.
Angela had no idea Claire had come home, and the fright on her face when she saw Claire lying there almost consumed her, but she took care of the situation like a pro, demonstrating the love she felt for her daughter as she took her in her arms, held her close, kissed her face, and called the paramedics.
The creepy thing was…
Adam was nowhere to be seen.
37
~Reunited~
Alisa
Before I went in search of Raphael, I had to at least say goodbye to Brecken. I couldn’t leave for good and not do that. He’d be at school right now, and that was not the ideal place to have a last goodbye, but I didn’t really have a choice.
When I closed my eyes and concentrated on his location, it wasn’t at Ocean Side High that I appeared, but at the wooded park in the hills where Brecken and I used to take long walks and talk. So… he was skipping school.
Crimson autumn leaves lay scattered on the path and hung precariously from the branches of the trees. I bet it smelled spectacular, but it was just out of reach for me. Brecken sat at a picnic table, wearing his black combat boots and a black leather jacket, with his hair longish and curling around his ears. He smiled, and my heart melted, but his smile wasn’t for me. It was for a cute little brunette who sat across from him, wearing short-shorts.
He reached out and stroked her hand with his finger. I just stood there and watched, dumbfounded, the sting of jealousy stabbing through me. He didn’t know I was there and he didn’t remember me, so this shouldn’t have hurt, but the way he gazed at her…
Wasn’t it only yesterday we were together at this park? Who was this girl? Why were they skipping school together? My imagination ran wild and I marched up to him, appearing within two feet of his smiling face.
His back stiffened and he jerked, obviously sensing me.
“Uh, give me a sec,” he said to the girl. He hurried toward the restrooms up the path, and I followed, knowing we’d be out of sight in a few seconds. As soon as we crested the hill, he stopped, turning to face where he thought I stood. He was spot on, staring at me right in the eyes. Super weird.
“Who are you and why are you here?” he demanded.
I took a step back, surprised at his intensity. “You can see me?”
“Of course.” His expression screamed loud and clear that I was an idiot.
“When did you start seeing in broad daylight?”
His frown deepened. “Do I know you?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I’m Alisa. I was your guardian for a while, not too long ago. I told you about it in the park the other night. Remember?”
“Huh?”
Oh. Right. That was when I was Claire. “I need you to remember me. It’s important. Something really bad is going down, and I need to leave… to help, and um… I wanted to say goodbye first.”
He watched me without moving, gazing deeply into my eyes, his mind whirring. I could almost hear the wheels grinding. I raised my eyebrows, waiting. What I really wanted was to throw my arms aro
und him and kiss him deeply, telling him that I loved him and that I missed him like crazy.
“Lilim hasn’t said anything about you,” he said.
It felt like a test… like I should know her. “Lilim?”
He waited, his head cocked, his eyebrows arched. “So, you know her? She’s my guardian.”
Now it was my turn to frown. I would know if he had a new guardian… I thought. They would tell me. Surely. Just as I was about to comment on this, a woman appeared beside him, a wide smile on her beautifully angelic face. Except she was not angelic. She didn’t glow. She didn’t shine. She didn’t radiate. I knew immediately she wasn’t from Elysium.
She was no guardian.
“Lilim, I assume.” I folded my arms across my chest, staring her down. I could beat this skank in a catfight.
She nodded, but said nothing, standing with her hands clasped before her, all calm and zen-like.
“And you are…?” she asked.
“None of your business.”
Brecken stepped forward. “Hey! Don’t talk to her like that.”
Pulling back in surprise, I quickly accumulated a bit of attitude. I wanted to get in his face and say, Oh no you di’int, but instead, I said, “Don’t tell me you can’t see the difference between us? You can see her aura, right? It’s diseased. Dark. Dirty. It should be obvious to you.”
“Excuse me?” she said.
“It doesn’t matter,” he answered, but I could tell I’d stumped him.
Lilim stepped between us. “That’s enough. None of that aura stuff is important. What is important is that dark souls like you are kept far away from my charge.”
“Brecken.” I tried to look around Lilim, who stood in the way. “You can tell who the dark soul is. There’s no hiding that. God sent me to protect you. This woman is one of the bad guys, and we’ve both seen the bad guys. You have to remember!” I reached out to touch his arm, but Lilim slapped my hand away.
“Hey!”
“Don’t touch my charge!” she growled.
“Brecken!” Wasn’t he going to do anything? Command her to leave at the very least? I should have done that myself, but I was still in shock about the whole thing.
“Uh, maybe you should go,” he said.
I waited for Lilim to leave and then realized Brecken was speaking to me.
“You’re kidding.”
“I don’t know you. Sorry.” He glanced down at his feet, which shuffled in the gravel.
“Seriously?” I couldn’t believe this was happening, that he was telling me to leave. “You know what? No. I’m not leaving.” I crossed my arms and cocked my hip, daring them to make me. Childish I know, but I still had room to grow.
Lilim smiled and tilted her head, her long, dark hair spilling over her shoulders. She really was beautiful, except for that ‘I want to kill you’ expression she was wearing.
“You really should go,” she said, triumphantly. She was the winner, and she knew it. “Now is not the time to cause trouble.”
I was out of ideas and humiliated. But before I left, I wanted to touch Brecken for one second, just to see if I could sense what was happening inside him, to make sure he was okay. Maybe my touch would tell him how deeply I loved him too.
“Fine,” I said. “I’m leaving, but I’ll be back!” And with that, I disappeared, but I reappeared just as quickly behind Brecken, placing my hand on his shoulder. And just like that, a brilliant flash of light erupted around us, a supernova blast of energy. His head snapped back and his knees buckled. He dropped to the ground like a felled tree, his eyes rolling up in his head.
I stood there, stunned and weak, unsure of what had just happened. I certainly hadn’t planned for fireworks, but I was drained now, just like before, with Adam. There had to be a way to build up stamina doing this kind of thing, even if it was unintentional. I couldn’t get wiped out every time I used my mojo.
Lilim screamed and lashed out at me, grabbing me by the hair. She was a spirit also, but she had amazing strength. Grabbing her arm, I tried to twist away, but I was not very good at physical combat. My brothers had tried to teach me how to defend myself, and some of those memories came back to me, but I was way out of my element. I jabbed with my elbow, knocking her in the face. She grunted, but she didn’t let go of me.
Fighting like this hurt, not in the same way as with a physical body, but it was painful nonetheless. I stomped on her foot, but she held on. We continued to scratch and screech, staring down one another like ethereal warrior princesses.
“Leave,” I said in the most commanding voice I could muster in my exhaustion. “Now.”
A terrified expression grew on her face and her whole being started to dim, becoming more and more transparent, as though it had to obey me, regardless of what she wanted.
Lilim growled, her teeth bared, her claws extended. “You’ve just made the wrong enemy. And don’t think I won’t be back for you.” She disappeared as though sucked from my sight, and I was left with the cold chill of her warning.
I turned to Brecken, who lay on the ground. “Are you all right?” I yearned to brush his bangs from his face, but my fingers were useless in the human world. I loved his hair like this though. All reckless and sexy. He groaned and sat up, looking at me with a frown.
“Hey, I know you.”
“Yes, you do.” His words warmed me, and I couldn’t help but smile back at him with all the love in my heart.
“You’re…”
“Alisa,” I prompted.
He squinted and frowned slightly. “Not Jill.”
“Jill?” I repeated a little too forcefully. Why would he think I was Jill? Ugh. I couldn’t stand that girl. She’d almost ruined his life. Literally. “No. Not Jill.”
“But… I love you, right?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“And you’re my… uh…”
“Girlfriend?”
“I was going to say guardian, but no… wait, yes… maybe?” He gazed into my eyes for confirmation, unsure.
“Well, I used to be your guardian, but I’m not anymore. Now I’m the love of your life.”
He smiled drunkenly and tried to lift his hand to my face, but his arm fell right through me. “You are my girlfriend. I remember now.”
“Yes.”
“But you’re a ghost.”
“Yes.”
“Dude. That is so awesome.”
38
~Tough Decisions~
Brecken
It was like he’d been struck on the back of the head with a baseball bat. One quick zap of… he wasn’t sure what, and a whole flood of memories poured back in. They were jumbled, confusing, and out of order, but he remembered his life as Bretariel interspersed—time-wise—with his life as Brecken Shaefer, and he wasn’t sure which memories went where.
Alisa’s face swam before him, her expression so familiar. His heart raced at the sight of her, and he knew—all the way to his toes—that he loved her. He tried to remember her better, the things they’d done together, how he’d met her, but it didn’t come quickly. At school maybe? No, that was Jill. No, Hannah. No… wait.
His head throbbed as he tried to sit up, and he was dizzy, so he leaned back on his elbow, taking deep, slow breaths. Her voice called to him, sounding far away even though she crouched next to him. Rising slowly, he hung his head between his knees. Her touch was a warm, feather-light breeze on his face, his hair, and his mouth.
“I’m all right,” he said, trying to catch her hands, which was like trying to catch smoke from a doused match. “I’m all right,” he said again. “Just give me a sec.”
Alisa stared into his eyes, waiting patiently.
“I’m Brecken now, right?”
Alisa’s perfectly shaped brows dipped in a frown. “Um, yeah.”
He shook his head to clear the cobwebs and rubbed his face. “So I’m not Bretariel anymore. I’m living my mortal life. I haven’t died.”
With the warmth of the afternoon s
un, she smiled. “You’re definitely alive and living your life. Yes.”
“Oh, good.” He let himself sit back down for a moment, his arm thrown across his eyes.
At that instant, Hannah came pelting up the path, her perfectly muscled legs flexing as she ran. She was beautiful, and he really liked her… a lot… and then he remembered…
“Oh. Uh… this is a friend of mine,” he hurried to say before Hannah got close. Alisa didn’t have time to respond before Hannah called out to him.
“What happened?” She grabbed his arms, inspecting him from head to toe with a worried expression. “I saw you fall. Did you pass out?”
Brecken shuffled over to a nearby boulder and leaned against it for balance. “I think I did. It was the weirdest thing.”
“Who is this girl?” Alisa demanded, but he couldn’t explain right now. Not in front of Hannah. Not in the right way. Yeah, she was a friend, but she had become more than that. He’d even kissed her a couple of times. But how did he explain it? Did he say it wasn’t his fault? That he didn’t know? That he couldn’t remember he had a beautiful guardian watching over him? He’d forgotten… for how long? He wasn’t even sure.
And now… Alisa. So lovely… the way her hair hung golden down her back, her soft, blue eyes, her furious expression. Yeah, that was definitely familiar. And now she was back? Just when he’d lost hope of ever seeing her again? More than anything, he wanted to take her in his arms and crush her to his chest, but like an elusive butterfly, he couldn’t seem to hold on to her.
Hannah threw her arms around Brecken in an embrace. His hands rose to her waist, but he didn’t squeeze back. It was such an uncomfortable moment. He could hardly think of what to say next… to either girl.
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