by Davis, Mary
The red in Bethany’s face deepened. She nodded. “I don’t like to miss anything.”
To rescue Bethany from any further torture, Rachel held out Hayden’s gift to him. “This is from my grandma Charlotte and me.”
“Charlotte Coe? You found her? Cool. You should have brought her.”
“We didn’t see how any good could come out of her being here. There would only be more hurt feelings.”
“That’s true.”
❧
Rachel had seen Hayden’s family across the crowd during the ceremony, including Twin Bear. Now Twin Bear sat alone in the shade in a lawn chair. This was her chance. She touched Will’s arm. “I’m going to go talk to him.”
“I’ll come with you.”
“Thanks, but I need to do this alone.”
Twin Bear watched her approach and made eye contact, but when she got closer he looked away.
She stood beside him for a moment not quite sure what to say. “Hi. It’s me, Rachel.”
He remained quiet for a moment. “I drove her away. Drove you away. I even drove my own brother away. I drove them all away.”
She gripped the arm of his chair for balance and squatted down next to him. “You haven’t driven me away. I’m still here.”
A tear rolled down his cheek as he turned toward her but didn’t look her in the face. Instead he covered her hand with his.
“Your brother always wanted to mend your relationship. He wanted to tell you about God’s love for you so you would go to heaven.”
“Charlotte taught me about that.”
She somehow knew he wasn’t talking about his daughter.
“If I accept God”—he looked her square in the eyes—“then I’d have to forgive her for not loving me.”
How sad to know about the love God has for him but not accept it because you are mad at someone. “It’s time to let it go. Let her go.”
He patted her hand then took his away. “It’s too late for me. Everyone hates me.”
She knelt in front of him and took both his hands in hers. “It’s never too late. Your family is scattered and broken, but you can show them God’s love if you’ll only accept Him.”
He looked out across the park. “They would never listen to me. I’ve hurt them all too much.”
“When they see the change in you, they’ll listen.”
He looked at her. “You’re sure an optimistic dreamer.”
“I’m learning that God can do incredible things. So what do you say?”
“I’ll think on it.”
She guessed that was progress. “I’ll be praying that you do more than think on it.”
He looked above her then and pulled his hands away. “He’s not going to hit me, is he?”
She glanced back and saw Will standing near. She smiled and shook her head. “No, he won’t hit you.” Though his scowl was intimidating. She stood and brought Will closer. She squeezed his hand. “You’re frowning.” She turned to Twin Bear. “This is my boyfriend, Will Tobin.”
Twenty-one
Later that night, Will sat on his couch with Rachel nestled up next to him. Wavering candles provided the only light; soft music played on his stereo. It was late and had been a long day. He should be walking her home, but he didn’t want to let her go just yet.
Rachel shifted slightly. “It turned out to be a great day.”
“Yes, it did.”
“You didn’t have to come back to the island with me. You could have stayed with your family.”
“Though I love my family, I’d much rather be here with you. My family has figured out that they are losing out to you.”
She turned and faced him. “I like being here with you, too. It’s the perfect ending to the perfect day.”
He hugged her. Nearly perfect. There was one thing that could make it better. And this felt like the perfect time. He kissed the top of her head and pulled his arm out from around her. “I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?”
“To truly make this a perfect day. Don’t move.” He went to his room and got his mom’s rings out of his drawer. “Close your eyes.” He put the wedding band back. He didn’t need that one yet. “Are they closed?”
“Yes.”
He came out and knelt before her, holding out the ring. “Okay. Open them.”
She sucked in a breath.
“Rachel, will you marry me?”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Oh, Will. I want to say yes, but I don’t know if I can.”
“Why not? You just have to say yes.” It was simple in his mind.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to make that kind of commitment.”
“We can have a long engagement if you like.”
She took his arms. “Here. Sit back on the couch.” When he did, she continued. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. My mom didn’t do so well when she married. I don’t want to be like that. I want it once forever.”
“That’s what I want, too.” He wouldn’t even consider marriage if he thought it wouldn’t last a lifetime. “I want to grow old with you.”
“I’m just not sure.”
“You were going to get married before. Were you sure then?”
“I wasn’t emotionally attached to Christopher. There is more at stake with us if it doesn’t work out.”
“It will work out.”
She leaned into his shoulder. “Just hold me.”
He wrapped his arms around her. At least she hadn’t turned him down completely. Had he asked too soon? He just thought because they spent so much time together that it was enough. She hadn’t said no or run away from him. Those were both good signs. But there was a growing ache that told him this could be the beginning of the end. “I will always love you—no matter what.”
❧
Will held her hand as he walked her across the street to her house. “Do you love me?”
She squeezed his hand. “Of course I do.” More than she knew one person could love another.
“But you won’t marry me.”
“It’s because I love you that I don’t think I can.”
He stopped her in the middle of the street and shook his head. “That doesn’t make any sense. It’s because I love you that I want to marry you. If we aren’t moving forward toward marriage, then we are stagnant. I can’t live the rest of my life like this.” He looked up the street and down the street. “Stuck in the middle of the road.”
“I like what we have together. I’m afraid if we married, I’d mess everything up, and I don’t want to lose you.”
“You don’t want to lose me, but you don’t want me either. I like what we have together, too, but it’s natural to want more.”
“I’m just not ready to make that kind of commitment. I don’t know if I’ll ever be.”
“What future is there for us if all we have is this? What is the point in continuing our relationship if it’s not going to lead to more, to marriage?”
Tears burned the back of her eyes. Was he breaking up with her? “Is it over then?” The words choked in her throat.
“I don’t know. I don’t want it to be over, but I also can’t stay in this place, in limbo.”
“What do we do now?”
“Pray?”
He walked her up to her porch and gave her a tender lingering kiss, then left.
She watched Will lumber across the street and put her hand to her mouth as a tear rolled down her cheeks. What am I to do, Lord? She didn’t want to ruin Will’s life, but she also didn’t want to lose him.
She schooled her tattered emotions and wiped her tears away before going into the house. She could hear her grandma in the kitchen. She had thought her grandma had gone to bed. “Do you need anything, Grandma?” When she didn’t hear anything, she went into the kitchen. “Is everything all right?”
Her grandma had tears on her cheeks.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. Everything is right for once. A few months ago I was a sad, lonely woman spending my last days growing older. Now I couldn’t be happier. Thank you for finding me.”
She hugged her. “If I had known about you sooner, I would have found you years ago. I don’t feel quite so alone in the world with you here.”
“Don’t forget you have Will. You should count him in your blessings.”
She did, but how long would he continue to be in her life now that she turned his marriage proposal down? “Will asked me to marry him.”
“I’m so happy for you.”
“I didn’t say yes.”
“Why not, child? He’s a good man. He loves you about as much as any man can.”
“You didn’t marry Grandpa.”
Grandma waved a hand in the air. “Don’t go using my fanciful ideals as an excuse.”
“I don’t know how to make a marriage last. I never knew my father, and my stepdads never stuck around. I don’t want to live like that.”
“You are nothing like your mother. But she raised you a might better than I raised her. I didn’t marry Charles because I thought we wouldn’t last; I made a choice, a sacrifice.”
“Why didn’t you ever go back and marry Grandpa?”
“After leaving and keeping his child from him, I had no right to go back. I knew if I contacted him and found out he’d married someone else, it would break my heart. And if he had married but was still in love with me and I showed up, I would want him to leave her for me. I couldn’t destroy his marriage that way. I made a choice and had to live with it.”
“He never gave up looking for you.”
“I know that now. I regret my decision not to go back to him and marry him, but I will never regret having Barbara or you. Your grandfather and I will live on in you. I believe with all my heart that you and Will can make it together for the rest of your lives if you look to the Lord for help.” Grandma hugged her. “I’m going to bed now. You believe in yourself. God does.”
She watched her grandma pad off to her bedroom. An ache gripped her heart so tightly she held her breath. How sad that her grandma and grandpa had spent their whole lives without the one they loved. Will’s declaration bounced around in her head, I will always love you—no matter what. She did not want to repeat the mistakes of her grandparents. She loved Will, and he loved her. She wanted to spend whatever days she could with him.
Even though it was late, she swung on her sweater and walked across the street.
His house was dark. Maybe she should wait. Maybe he wasn’t asleep yet. Maybe she was crazy for standing in the middle of the street in the dark. Again. This time alone. Then again maybe he couldn’t sleep because she had turned him down. She looked heavenward. What do I do, Lord? She really wanted to tell him now.
She strode the rest of the way and knocked. When he opened the door, her mouth pulled up into a smile. She definitely wanted to spend the rest of her life waking up beside this man who loved her so much and whom she loved as well.
“Hi?” He was still wearing his clothes from earlier, so he hadn’t gone to bed yet.
She could tell by the raise of his brow he was confused by her visit.
“Would you like to come in?”
“Only for a minute.” She stepped inside.
“Is everything all right?”
Just seeing him made things right. “I think everything will be fine now.”
He pulled his eyebrows down. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t want to end up like my grandma, alone and lonely my whole life because I let you slip away. I should have said yes earlier. If it’s not too late, I’d like to say yes now.”
He cupped her face and kissed her several times, then pulled her close. “It would never be too late. I was going to ask you every day until you knew I meant it and said yes.” He kissed her for a long time. He finally released her. “I should let you go.”
She didn’t ever want him to let her go. She wanted to stay in his arms for the rest of her life. All she could do was nod and smile.
“Wait. I almost forgot.” He jogged off to his room and back.
He took her hand and slipped on the ring. “That makes it official. You’re mine.”
And he was hers. She belonged.
About the Author
Mary Davis is a full-time writer whose first published novel was Newlywed Games from Multnomah. She enjoys going into schools and talking to kids about writing. Mary lives near Colorado’s Rocky Mountains with her husband, three teens, and seven pets. Please visit her Web site at http://marydavisbooks.com.
Dedication
To all those who were here first.
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