by Janae Keyes
“Your mom must have felt your hormones raging from all the way in the States,” Simon mentioned as he pulled one of the many condoms from the box.
“Let’s see about these other boxes,” I commented as I moved the condom filled one to the side and dragged over the large one Simon had brought in. I paused for just a moment, “Wait, why didn’t this one come to the post office?”
“Because it was a special delivery,” Simon proclaimed, that enticed me.
The box, which was a soft shade of blush pink, had a lid that I pulled off. I was greeted with an envelope resting on white and sparkly tissue paper. I knew who it was from as soon as I saw my name written on the envelope.
Dora
I glanced at Simon who nodded and gave me an encouraging and soft smile. My fingers trembled as I opened the envelope and pulled out a letter.
My Dearest Dora,
I am so sorry for any pain I have caused you. I was scared of what happened. I have been fighting my feelings of attraction to you since you walked through the door and spilled your books all over the floor.
Every night I dream of you. Of holding you in my arms, of lying with you in my bed. I wish our first time together could have been sweeter, but I needed to feel you. To know that I wasn’t the only one who felt the fire of that passion between us.
It was more amazing than anything I have ever felt, and this last week has driven me mad seeing the pain I caused you by running away like a poncy twat.
Simon is a good friend. Know that. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I truly am sorry, Sweet One.
If you forgive me, please wear this gift tomorrow and see me after class so we can talk.
If you cannot forgive me, then I will understand as well. But please, keep this gift. I’d bought it for you before I fucked up.
Yours,
Professor Ramsey Kendall
I must have read the letter three times over before I finally looked up from it. He’d apologized and wanted to talk. The time to face him for real had come, but I still had a choice. This gift was a sign to him if I was willing to accept his invitation to talk or not.
“Well … what is it?” Simon questioned, I’d forgotten he was in the room.
“Let’s see,” I said as I began to move the tissue paper out of the way.
My eyes were greeted with red and black. I took the material in my hands and pulled it from the box. The dress was black with a red bodice and peek of red skirt, halter top, and vintage 1950s style swing dress. I held it to myself in awe of not just how pretty it was, but how perfect it was for me, exactly my style.
“That’s sickening,” Simon commented in awe as I twirled around with the dress pressed to my body, a grin spread across my face.
Nobody had ever done anything so wonderful for me in my entire life.
Placing the dress back in the tissue paper, I was more eager to open the smaller second box. Popping open the lid I was presented with the perfect pair of shoes to go with the dress. I took a silver pump from the box and bit down on my lip.
“He brought them by not long before you got in,” Simon informed me as I placed the shoe back in its box. “I could tell, he’s as much of a mess for you as you are for him. I think he really is sorry.”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
I felt a sense of validation that I hadn’t been wrong; he’d wanted me from the beginning. That first moment we met, when I dropped my books everywhere like an idiot, that moment had brought us together. Was it a twist of fate that brought me all the way to England and to his classroom?
I wanted to believe it was fate, but the voices in my head were making me deny that fate. They forced me to believe in the vile names I’d been called. They made me want to crawl back in the shell I’d cocooned myself in.
“I see that look.” Simon stood, hand on hip, ready to give me a lecture. “Don’t let those cunts from your old school fuck this up for you. You’re letting their words get to you. Maybe this thing with Ramsey isn’t conventional or as right as it could be, but Dorothy-Dear, you can’t turn your back on it now. You are too far in now. Plus, the man knows how to say he’s sorry in the best way--with gifts.” Simon did have a point, not about the gifts, but being too far in. It wasn’t possible to go back now. I’d had a taste of his loving and his touch that drove my senses wild just thinking about it.
“My mom always says, if you’re going to make a mistake, you might as well jump right into the deep end,” I said, more or less to myself.
“It’s set. Tonight, I’m starting on you. Ramsey won’t be able to keep his eyes or hands off you in this dress tomorrow,” Simon proclaimed as he held the dress to himself and checked it out on himself in front of the mirror.
Was I going to jump in the deep end?
On my way to class, one would assume I’d stepped straight out the 1950s. My makeup light and airy while Simon had laid my hair perfectly, kiss curls throughout. Was I forgiving Ramsey for how he’d treated me? I wasn’t exactly sure. I felt like I needed to see him face to face before I knew.
Fear that I was making the wrong decision in wearing the dress and opening the door to forgiveness rolled around inside. They say that a person shows you who they are right away, and Ramsey had shown me a fucked-up side to him, but something deep inside told me that I should give him a second chance, he had more to offer.
Getting ready had taken a little longer than normal, and I didn’t want to ride my bike in the dress. Therefore, I’d walked all the way to class and only had a minute or so to spare before I would be late.
Jogging into the classroom, it was like all eyes were on me, just like the first day of class when I entered. That’s when I saw him, standing at the podium, the smile on his face unmistakable and the knots in my stomach tightening with each step I took in his direction, and to my seat.
Fuck extended classes. I’d spent the entire time wanting to know every single thing that went through his mind whenever his eyes would peer in my direction. I’d wiggled in my seat with his heated glances. He was undressing me with every look. Studying me, figuring out exactly what he wanted to do to me, in which position, and how. He was an open book to my eyes, an easy read.
“That’s it for today. There will be a quiz on Monday!” Ramsey shouted over the chatter of students as they packed their things away and started out the door, off to enjoy their weekends. “Dora, I’d like a word in my office. Can you wait in there for me?” He looked right at me, his blue eyes mesmerizing and holding me captive in their gaze. I nodded.
Another student approached him as I took my things and made my way into his office. It was quiet in the small office, and I wasn’t sure if I should sit or stand as I waited. I decided to stand and placed my things on a small couch.
I fiddled around with my fingers as I patiently waited. My heart thumped loudly as the doorknob turned and only a moment later he entered, closing the door behind him, his things in hand.
All the words I wanted to say melted away, I wanted him, and I wasn’t going to deny that, as wrong as it might be.
He tossed his things on the couch and like a fly in a spider’s web, I was in his arms. His lips crushed mine, his hands gripping me tight, holding me to him as if I might be an illusion that would fizzle away.
Easily, he lifted me off my feet, my legs around his waist. He walked with me in his arms until he sat my butt on his desk, his hands slipping under my dress, clawing at my thighs, and spreading my legs.
My hands fisted his shirt, knuckles nearly turning white at my unbreakable grip on him. I was unequivocally absorbed by him with each passing moment. The Professor--my Professor.
“Bloody hell, you look absolutely beautiful in that dress,” Ramsey hissed against my lips while his clever hands massaged my thighs, eliciting a moan from me. “Stunning and sexy beyond words.”
He took my lips again, feathery strokes of his tongue on my lips. I parted my lips to allow his tongue back in.
Ramsey’s fingers
had traveled to the lace of my panties before he pulled away. His eyes seared into mine as he held my gaze, drawing me into him.
“I’d love to take you right here Sweet One, but we’re already risking too much,” he told me as he slid his hands from under my dress, I missed his touch instantly.
“You know, I should be mad at you,” I told him.
“I know, I fucked up. I should have never left you. I hate to admit it, but I was scared. We shouldn’t be doing this; you’re my student--”
“I know. I think I might be crazy because I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything else in my life. I want you so bad. I feel like … this is right.”
I kissed him quickly. I felt a boldness I only ever had when on stage with my dad’s band or doing karaoke with Simon.
Ramsey’s hand cupped my face, his thumb running over my cheek, drawing me into him.
“Come home with me, tonight, when you are finished with your classes. I want to make it up to you. I want to talk. I want to have you in the way I really wanted for our first time. I’ll make us dinner tonight. Will you come?” He continued to hold my face in his hands, his soul shining in his eyes, telling me everything I needed to know.
“Okay.”
I’d been lost for words in our moments together. It was the perfect opportunity for us to really talk, for him to show his remorse.
“I will pick you up at your building. Is six o’clock okay?” He asked taking one of my curls between his fingers and twirling it around.
“It’s perfect.”
“Lovely.”
Ramsey took me by my waist and pulled me from the desk, placing my feet on the ground. I saw something in his eyes as we stood for a second lost in our moment. He wanted whatever it was between us as hard as I did, despite the complications and the trouble that could come with it. Just from that look in his eyes, I knew my life would never be the same.
Chapter Eleven
Ramsey
There was still another class for me to teach before I could go home. This one at least wasn’t full of morons I had to babysit. I walked to the front of the class, wrote the assignment on the board, and retreated to my office to plan what had to be done for tonight.
I didn’t want to scare her, so I wouldn’t take her into the playroom yet. But, possibly next time. If, there was a next time after what had happened. I still needed to show her that I was sorry, and in the worst possible way for my actions. Thankfully, this class wasn’t extended today.
After an hour, I stood and walked out of my office, kicked all the students out, and locked the auditorium. I posted a note that I would not be available after hours, and to come back on Monday if they needed help. Or to use the bloody library for once.
I looked at my list and pulled my car out of the designated campus parking spot, making my way to the store. I didn’t have any food in the house, and I wasn’t planning on leaving this weekend if I didn’t have to. I wanted to make things up to Dora. Not fuck things up.
I drove into Oxford, so I could stop at Tesco before I went home. Thankfully the car park was empty, and I would be able to get my shopping done quickly so I could get home and clean up some before I had to get Dora. Well, at least put the groceries away and take a shower. I had plans for her, and I would prefer to be clean.
I walked around the store, picking up the things on my list. Strawberries, whipped cream, steak, fries, cereal, milk, and coffee. I was walking to the front when I realized that I should probably get some rubbish bags.
Grabbing the bags and throwing them in the cart, I snatched a few other items as well. I wasn’t sure if I had sponges or dish soap anymore. I had been using paper plates so long it didn’t seem important until Dora was coming over.
I paid for my groceries and headed home, ready to make my home look semi-civilized in the three hours left until I had to get her. Excitement raced through my veins. I was going to make this right, and I was going to take her the way I should have in the first place. I was not going to leave her empty and deserted. I was going to leave her feeling whole and complete. No matter how long that took.
I walked into my house and looked around. This might take longer than three hours. At this point, it almost seemed better just to throw it all downstairs and clean it up later. I had just cleaned the playroom out, though, and I knew that I couldn’t do that. Putting the food in the fridge, I went to my liquor cabinet.
I loved the spread I had in there. I bought myself a new bottle for Christmas every year, something new. Last year I had purchased a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label. I had all the Labels in my cabinet now, along with Chivas, Crown, Southern Comfort, and some other top shelf that I was fond of.
Idiotically — my mother called it — I kept my cooking wine in my cabinet as well. I shook my head. I wanted all of my alcohol in one place. Digging around in the cabinet, I found what I was looking for. The bottle of Crystal that I had hidden in the back after I came back from America. I had been aging it and waiting for a special occasion to be opened.
Tonight was going to be the night to open it.
I put it in the fridge, pulled down some flutes, and rinsed them out to remove any dust that was still in them, placing them on the table when I was finished. Grabbing a bag, I set about picking up the beer cans I had left scattered around the house, opening windows as I went. The house smelt horrible, and I knew that I was the cause of it.
Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was nearly four thirty in the afternoon, and I only had an hour and a half to get organized. I threw the dishes into my dishwasher, cleaned off the counters and pulled the pans out I would need for dinner. I may be a bachelor, but one thing my mother had instilled in all of her children was that we would know how to cook. And I was no exception to her rule. I pulled a red wine from the cabinet and set it on the counter beside the stove along with an onion, the fresh mushrooms I had bought, and some salt and pepper.
Next on my list was a shower. Taking that in record speed I had time to find something less … Mr. Creepy. Digging through my closet, I found my old Metallica t-shirt and a pair of jeans that I hadn’t worn since I was in America. Pulling them on, I was happy they still fit. Tossing on my Chucks, I went out to my car and sat there for a moment. Breathing.
I was terrified. I had royally fucked things up with Dora last week, and I was about to try and fix them with her. Putting the keys in the ignition, I turned the car over and proceeded to drive to her building to pick her up.
It was a quarter to six when I pulled up early. I cursed myself for not getting flowers, but somehow, I knew that Dora wouldn’t care. Would it be presumptuous of me to go up to her room and retrieve her? Was this a date? Or was this a fuck session? I was so rusty I wasn’t even sure what it was anymore. All I knew was that I needed to get her back to my house.
A minute past six pm, Dora walked out of the building and bounced to my car with her backpack in hand. Opening the door, she slid into the seat. I brushed my hand along her leg, before putting the car into gear and pulling out of the parking lot. As far as anyone would be concerned, I was giving her a lift to the library. Lucky for me, she hadn’t changed.
I had driven for several minutes before I pulled over on the side of the road, grabbing a handful of her hair in my hand, yanking her head back, forcing her lips to part for me, claiming her mouth with mine. Gentle was not in my current nature.
Pulling back from her, I released her hair, looking at her bruised lips. This was going to be a long weekend, and I wasn’t sure that either of us would be getting much sleep. Dora stared at me, her breathing uneven. I couldn’t wait to have her lying under me, her chest heaving as I made her scream my name.
“Sorry, I couldn’t wait until I got back to my house.” I smiled at her. Her eyes still slightly glazed from my passionate attack.
“Uh … kay.” she nodded.
I pulled back onto the road, and we continued on toward my house, every so often Dora would gasp as something caught her attention
. I smirked as we neared the house. I smacked myself when I remembered I hadn’t told her about Sue.
“Dora, do you like dogs?”
“I’ve had a few small dogs. We had a Labrador once. Why?”
“Forgot to mention that I have a dog.”
“Oh.” She fidgeted as she looked down at the dress she was wearing, probably wondering if she would have to worry about my dog destroying her new clothes.
“Don’t worry. He’s a good boy. He shouldn’t jump you. Unlike me.” I winked at her, as we pulled into my driveway.
I parked and walked around the car, opening the door, helping her out, and taking her bag. Taking her hand, we walked up my drive together, while I jingled the keys to the right one. Opening the door, I pushed Dora behind me as Sue bolted past us to get outside again. You would think the dog never went outside to wee the way he ran around the yard. Dora let out a loud laugh from behind me as she watched him.
Sue stopped and looked for the noise, eyeballing me as he sniffed the air in front of him. Dora peeked around from behind me, watching my dog. After a few minutes, she stepped out from behind me, and walked down to the grass, kneeling on the ground where Sue could come to her. I watched as she interacted with him. Letting my dog come to her, sniff her hand, her face, lick her, let him take his time to accept her touch. Before long the two of them were talking like old friends.
Dora was scratching Sue’s belly when I whistled for him to come in. I was hungry, and I wanted to get him in so I could start cooking. I couldn’t take all night waiting for him.
Escorting Dora into the kitchen, I sat her down at the table and oiled my pan. I began pulling out the meat, strawberries and cutting the mushrooms to wash them for the sauce I was planning on making. Looking over at her as I stood at the counter, smiling.
“Sorry, I don’t have much in the way of anything here. I forgot to go shopping and went and grabbed a couple of things, so it’s steak and fries for dinner tonight. Garlic and herb for the fries. Hope you don’t mind a mushroom and port wine reduction for your steak. It’s about all I know.” Checking the temperature of the pan, I placed our steaks in the pan. The sizzle was immediate, like us.
