Just as she did so, Katie emerged from her cabin, and when she saw them kiss, she whirled and strode away. “I guess we shocked Katie,” Dorothy said. “Good-night, Barney.”
“Good-night, Dorothy,” he said.
He hurried up to the deck and caught up with Katie just as she reached the rail.
“Katie,” he said, “I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”
She looked at him, then turned her face away. “About what?”
Her voice was sharp, and he considered postponing the talk, but there were few times as private as the present, so he leaned over beside her. “We haven’t had much time to talk, have we?”
“No, Barney.”
Her spare reply was not encouraging, and he floundered. For a time he told her of the work he was doing, and in turn asked her about hers in Maoli. But there was an uneasiness in the conversation.
Finally he plunged in. “I guess it’s been hard for you since Irene went home.”
“Yes. She was a great comfort to me.”
“Sure. A person needs somebody. I mean, it’s no good being alone all the time, is it?”
“It’s very difficult, but the Lord is with us.”
“That’s true, but like Stanley’s always said, two are better than one.” He felt like a man walking over broken glass. Got to do it now or else, he thought. “Katie, you and I have been real close, and we’ve gone through a lot together.”
Her eyes focused on him, and her lips softened as she thought of earlier days. “Yes, Barney,” she said. “I think of those days all the time.”
“Well, so do I. And I worry about you, Katie.”
“You do? I didn’t know that.”
He licked his lips, trying to find the right way to say what he had to. She was very beautiful as she stood there. He had always been aware of her beauty, but never had he seen her looking so soft and vulnerable. It made him nervous, somehow, but he straightened up and said as firmly as he could, “Yes, Katie, I do worry about you. I think about you all alone at the station. It’s bad enough when you’ve got help, but you don’t have anyone.” He hesitated, then said, “And I think you need someone, Katie.”
“You do, Barney?” Her eyes were wide and her lips slightly parted. She seemed to be totally immersed in his gaze, waiting for something.
“Y-yes, I do,” he stammered. His voice was unsteady because he suddenly thought of the night in the village when he had kissed her. The moonlight had been shining that night, just like it was now, shedding silver rays over her. He was annoyed to discover that his hands were unsteady and he could not get his mind on Del’s problem.
“What are you thinking of, Barney?” Katie whispered.
“Well—Katie—I was just wondering—”
“Yes? What is it, Barney? You can tell me.”
“Well . . . have you ever thought of marrying?”
Katie stood transfixed, in mute silence. After a while, she nodded. “Yes, I have thought of it.”
She looked up at him, her eyes luminous and her expression sweet and expectant.
“Well,” Barney blurted out, “had you ever thought of marrying Del?” She stood so rigid he thought she had not understood him, so he said hurriedly, “He—he really thinks the world of you, Katie. And he’s such a fine man! He’d make a wonderful husband!”
She dropped her head, refusing to look at him. “Is that what you came to talk to me about?” she asked quietly.
“Well—Del asked me to talk to you—”
With a jerk Katie lifted her head. She had tears in her eyes, and his heart sank. But she dashed them away and in a voice filled with anger cried out, “Do you think I’m so anxious to get married that I’ll take anyone, Barney Winslow?”
“Oh, no—” he stammered, surprised at the anger he saw in her.
“You’re worried about me? Well, why don’t you worry about yourself?” she spewed. “Poor Katie doesn’t have a husband, so Good Old Barney has to find her one!” She stamped on the deck, jolting Barney at the sound. But she wasn’t finished.
“You’re so busy with your matrimonial agency you don’t even know what’s happening to you!”
“Happening to me? What—”
Katie shook her head, her eyes bright and her voice sharp. “You were quite a man when you came here. Kwi Balee, the white antelope! But what are you now? You’re a lap dog for that woman!”
If Katie had not been humiliated, she would never have said such things, but now the dam had broken, and for five minutes she stood there shaking her finger in Barney Winslow’s face, telling him what a poor imitation of a missionary he was. She ended by saying, “You’re a straw man, Barney Winslow! When Dorothy pulls your little chain, you start barking the tune she wants to hear.”
She was weeping now, but didn’t know it. As the tears ran down her face, she doubled up her fist and struck him in the chest. “You’re worried about me? Don’t bother! Worry about yourself! You’ve sold out, Barney! Sold out to a woman! All God did for you—and you gave it up!”
Then she whirled and ran off, leaving Barney alone on the deck.
He had taken terrible blows in the ring—but never one like this. Paralyzed by the verbal onslaught, he looked at her retreating figure in unbelief. Her words echoed in his ears: All God did for you—and you gave it up.
All night he walked the deck, searching for peace. Yet when dawn began to fire the eastern sky, Barney was still walking—still without peace. What can I tell Del? he thought. But another question plagued him more: How did I get to this place in my life? A depressing silence mocked him. There was no answer—not then or in the following days.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“I’ve Got to Go!”
The Falcon moved slowly, touching several ports, then headed back up the coast toward Monrovia. On their final evening, Captain Borg threw a farewell party for the passengers. The dining room was decorated with flowers Borg had managed to purchase at their last port of call.
“Oh, how beautiful, Captain!” Pearl cried. “I never knew captains were so romantic!”
“Say, this is all right!” Slim Ranken said, joining Pearl and the captain. “Just like Del Monico!” he exclaimed, admiring the flowers and the white tablecloths. He guided Pearl to her seat and took the place next to her. “I hope the food is as good as the decorations,” he grinned.
When Katie arrived, she went immediately to an empty place between Pearl and Del. What a lovely sight she was in a blue dress that perfectly reflected the color of her eyes. Avoiding any eye contact with Barney, she unfolded her napkin, smiled at the captain, and directed her conversation at Lieutenant Bjelland, who sat across from her. The young officer was flattered, and wondered how such an attractive young woman could bury herself in the depths of Africa.
The food was good and the entertainment amusing. Four of the crew had formed a quartet and made up in enthusiasm what they lacked in skill. Dorothy sat between Barney and the captain, and, true to her provocative personality, completely charmed Borg.
At the end of the meal, Captain Borg rose and acknowledged the joy of having such a wonderful group of passengers and invited them to make other voyages on the Falcon. “In all my years at sea,” he said, “I’ve never had such a delightful experience.”
Ranken spoke on behalf of the passengers, and seemed happy and far more relaxed than at any time since his wife had died. When he came to the end of his speech, he hesitated, giving Pearl a questioning look, then went on. “This has been a good voyage in many ways, but it will be more special to me than to any of you.” Smiling at Pearl, he continued. “Let me share with you that Pearl and I have become engaged to be married.”
There was a short burst of applause and a rush to congratulate the couple.
“I’m so happy for you, Pearl!” Katie whispered. “You two will have a wonderful life!”
When everyone was seated again, Captain Borg brought out a bottle of wine to toast the engaged pair. To look at Borg’s beaming face,
one would have thought he was responsible for the happy event.
Later, back in their cabin, Pearl grew quiet, and after they were lying in their beds waiting for sleep, she said, “I feel very strange about this, Katie. Somehow—it seems too soon.”
Katie rolled over, propped her head on her hand, and said cheerfully, “No, it’s not too soon.” She smiled, realizing Pearl needed encouragement. “You and Slim love and need each other. And I think Tobe and Lily would be happier about it than any of us.”
“Oh, Katie, do you? I’ve been so miserable!” Pearl sniffled into her handkerchief. “I know what people will say. I can hear it now: ‘Well, he needed a wife and she needed a husband.’ But it’s more than that, Katie!”
“I’m sure it is,” Katie assured. “You and Slim are right for each other and, I believe, in the center of God’s will.” She continued to reassure her, Pearl’s tension lessening as she listened. “Don’t pay any attention to what anyone says. It doesn’t matter what they think as long as you know God’s leading. After all, a man and a woman—a husband and wife—have their own life. And nobody can take that away. At least,” she said very softly, “that’s what I’ve always hoped marriage would be like.”
“You’re so good with people, Katie!” Pearl said. “You always know just what to say to those who are hurting.” She hesitated for a moment, aware she was touching a sensitive area. “I wish I could comfort you. I know you’ve been hurt in some way.”
“I’m all right, Pearl. Or I will be when I get back to my station.”
Pearl had not been ignorant of the little drama aboard ship. She had discerned that something, or someone, had driven a wedge between Barney and Katie, but she couldn’t mention it. She reached over and touched Katie’s arm. “It’s going to be fine. You’ll see.”
The next day when they debarked from the ship, the Hansens were at the dock to meet Dorothy. They were surprised but pleased at Slim and Pearl’s engagement and insisted that the wedding be held in the Hansens’ church.
“When will the wedding be?” Mrs. Hansen asked.
“Not soon enough for me,” Slim smiled. “Will a week be too soon, Pearl?”
“Oh no. That’s not very long—but I’ll love it!” Pearl turned to Katie. “You’ll stay and help me, won’t you?”
Katie wanted nothing more than to escape back to her station, but she agreed. “Of course, Pearl.”
The week flew by. Katie offered to make the wedding gown, but since she was not an accomplished seamstress, she sought the aid of one of the local women. Whenever Katie was free, Del didn’t miss an opportunity to find a way to make his speech—without success . . . again and again!
Katie saw little of Barney, for he submerged himself in the mission work, driving himself so hard that Myron Hansen cautioned him. “My boy, your zeal is commendable, but you can’t last at such a pace! You must learn to be more moderate!”
Dorothy, always ready to wield her charm, intervened. “Barney,” she said sweetly, “Pearl and Slim have felt bad that they’ve seen so little of you. Couldn’t you leave some of the work for a few days? It would mean so much to them.”
“All right, I’ll try.”
True to his word, Barney attended the festivities the latter part of the week. He saw Katie often, and though they carried on an amiable conversation, underneath both could feel the discord. Outwardly, it was as if they had made an agreement: “All right, we had a terrible scene, but we’re going to pretend that it never happened.”
Only Pearl saw the strain in their relationship. She never spoke of it, however, but it grieved her.
Dorothy was exuberant. She had not enjoyed the cruise, but now she was caught up with plans to expand the mission and sought Barney’s help in the minutest detail. Every day they worked on the project, often with her father and mother. Her manipulating, controlling spirit raised its ugly head whenever possible, expertly guiding the noose. “Barney,” she would say, “this is bigger than Monrovia! We can use this as a model. The whole country is wide open, waiting for something like this. And we can do it, can’t we? You and I?”
Barney always agreed, and at times he seemed to catch some of Dorothy’s enthusiasm. He spoke of it to Del, and when Stanley Beecham arrived for the wedding, Barney went over the details with him. Beecham agreed that it was a noble idea and promised to help as he was able.
The wedding supper was held the night before the wedding. The only one absent was Awful Gardner. Barney kept his eyes peeled for the man’s arrival, for he had sent a special letter by a fast runner, asking Awful to come. He knew Gardner was fond of both Ranken and Pearl, so he couldn’t understand why the Australian had not come.
It was a lively party, lasting until ten o’clock. When it was over, Barney still waited for Awful. He walked around the grounds, checking the gate several times, but no Gardner. His absence made the darkness over the land even darker. At eleven o’clock Barney went to the kitchen, made a pot of tea—and waited.
He slumped in his chair and watched the pendulum on the large clock on the mantel tick the time away. His eyes were burning, his heart was heavy, and his thoughts a chaotic mixture of the mission, Dorothy, Awful, the interior, Katie—God. After a while, he grew sleepy and finally dozed off.
For an hour he slept, then awakened with a start at the sound of footsteps.
Katie had entered the kitchen, unaware that anyone was there. At the sight of Barney she wanted to flee, but it was too late.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you,” she said, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other, not knowing what to say or do.
Barney felt equally ill at ease. “I’ve been hoping Awful would come,” he said. He looked at the stove. “I made some tea if you’d like some.”
“No, I just wanted some water.” She walked over to the large barrel with fresh drinking water, drank a glass of it, and headed for the door. When she got there, she paused, then swung around to face him.
“I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you on the ship,” she said evenly. “I had no business meddling in your private affairs.”
Barney had thought of her words for days—even now he could quote them word for word. But he said only, “That’s all right.”
“No, it’s not all right!” Katie shook her head, her back rigid. “No one has the right to speak to another as I spoke to you.” She had thought many times of coming to him, of making an apology, but her nerve had failed. But now she had blundered into him, and she set her jaw, saying, “Who am I to tell you what God is doing in your life? I was so judgmental! And I ask you to forgive me.”
Barney got to his feet, his face haggard. “Why, Katie, you have my forgiveness if you think you need it.”
“Didn’t the things I said hurt you?” she demanded.
“Maybe a little, but that didn’t last long.”
Katie took a deep breath. “Do you know why I lashed out at you like I did?”
“Why—you think I’m doing the wrong thing.”
“I’ve always thought that, Barney,” Katie said honestly. “But I never said a word to you, did I?”
“No. But I knew how you felt.”
Katie nodded, and wished she’d never come to the kitchen. But she had to spill it all out—now. “I said all those things to you,” she said quietly, “because I was angry and humiliated.”
Barney looked into her eyes, trying to read her. “I knew that. I just didn’t know why.”
“You really don’t know? Not even now?”
“No. I just knew you hated me.”
“Oh, Barney!” Katie said, shaking her head. “You don’t know anything about women, do you?”
“Obviously not,” he replied soberly. “What made you so mad?”
She stared at him silently. “I was humiliated and angry because when you asked me if I’d ever thought of getting married—” She broke off, her face flushed and strained. “I thought you were going to ask me to marry you!”
“Marry me!” Barney’s ja
w fell in absolute shock. “Why, Katie, I’d never ask you to marry me!”
“Yes, Barney, I know that now,” she said. “But I didn’t then.”
Befuddled, Barney burst out, “Why, Katie, you’d never marry a dolt like me!”
Katie studied him a moment. “Well,” she said, “I never will now. I suppose you’ll be marrying Dorothy.”
“Why, we never talk about such things!”
The clock ticked loudly as they stared at each other, and then her face softened. “Barney, this will be the last time we’ll see each other for a long time. I’m glad I was able to tell you how awful I’ve felt over the way I spoke to you. Good-night.”
She turned to leave, and he sprang forth like a leopard to his prey. “Wait!” He grabbed her hand. “Katie—” He took a deep breath and expelled it slowly. “I’ve felt terrible since that night. I don’t know what God wants of me, but I know what I want from you. I want what we used to have! We’ve been such great friends! Can’t we be that again?”
Katie shook her head. “A man and a woman can be friends—but when you marry, things will be different. They have to be, Barney. Don’t you see that?” Her voice was gentle. The confession seemed to have relieved a great pressure that had burdened her, and now she could say with a good spirit, “Let’s have our memories, Barney, but let it end here. Goodbye, and God bless you!”
Then she was gone.
Barney wanted to run after her, but knew that would not do. He returned to the table and sat down, mulling over her strange confession. He had always been a simple man, single-minded. But the last months had been confusing, and he longed for the days when life was simple.
Life had been simple at the Rescue Mission—simple on the station at Gropaka. But since he had come to Monrovia, life had gotten so complex that he could not think clearly.
Finally he got up and walked around the compound, longing for Awful to come to rescue him. I could talk to Awful, he thought over and over. He could tell me what’s the matter with me! He always knew me better than anyone else.
The Final Adversary Page 25
