“Well I can’t help it,” I protested, “You’re on like… bowling steroids.”
“Bowling steroids?” he snorted. “Nahh, it’s just all natural skill.”
“And Wii Sports,” Nick interjected.
“Shut up,” Fox laughed.
By a small margin, Fox and Lily won the game. I tried to convince myself I didn’t care, and it wasn’t too hard; the fact that they were trying to convince the whole world they were madly in love bothered me more than losing a bowling match. Like honestly all the snuggling, the cooing, the unnecessary PDAs seemed… too artificial. Too good to be true.
Nick and I walked back to his car and I sighed thankfully.
Just when I was about to thank him for the wonderful date, Fox announced we were going to dinner.
I almost screamed. Almost.
We pursued Fox’s car one again and parked at grassy clearing by a lake just as the sun hit the ground on the horizon.
We got out and sat on the large plaid blanket that was sprawled out near the Willow. I could hear the crickets chirping, and I smiled at how peaceful this place was.
We all got bottles of Sprite and burgers, which Lily had picked up on her way ‘back from the bathroom’. Clever, I’ll admit.
“This is nice,” Lily commented, leaning against Fox.
I was surprised that he wasn’t making dirty jokes or annoying her in the least. I’d only seen him affectionate with Holly, and they were related.
Why was it so hard to believe Fox had a heart? Maybe because I was jea–no.
I devoured my burger and lay down on the blanket next to Nick, staring up at the starless sky. It was getting darker by the minute, and I was shivering beneath my pull over. It was warm, but my bare skin wasn’t too fond of the autumn breeze that was finding its way over my stomach.
Nick pulled me close to him, and I smiled. I felt comfortable with him; a friendly kind of affection. I sat up to get another sip of my Sprite and noticed Fox and Lily were incredibly close.
I licked my lips and sighed, staring out at the lake as the moon’s reflection danced on the still water.
I couldn’t exactly pinpoint my feelings, or decipher why I was feeling them… but they weren’t good. They bothered me.
“I think we should get going,” Fox said, clearing his throat.
“Yeah,” I murmured automatically.
We packed up and retreated to the warmth of the car.
Fox knocked on my window. I took a deep breath and rolled the window down, reluctantly, I might add. He folded his elbows on the door and rested his head on his arms.
“Well, this was fun guys,” he said sleepily, “We should do it again.”
I clenched my jaw and stared straight forward, pretending to be mesmerized by the view of the lake.
“You ok, Em?” Fox asked, cocking his head.
“Will everyone just stop asking me that?” I snapped, readily putting my finger to the window button.
With a frightened expression on his face, he stepped back with his hands up as a sign of surrender.
“Goodnight,” he smirked, smiling as he shook his head and draped his arm over Lily’s shoulders and they walked back to his car.
I watched intently as he shook his head in a defensive manner and Lily nodded as if she’d discovered an embarrassing secret of his or something.
I shivered as Nick turned up the heat in his car. Picnicking on a November night is not the brightest idea, considering the Connecticut climate doesn’t look kindly on those that are underdressed.
I returned my gaze to the road ahead of me, surrounded by dark pine trees and the occasional street lamp.
The entire time that we drove back, while I managed some small talk with Nick, I couldn’t help but wish I was in someone else’s car…
Chapter 20
I took on a whole new perspective as Nick’s Rover pulled up the small driveway. It was pitch black, except for the small patch of light the living room window gave off. Dad was still up…
“So…” Nick started.
I sat there, feeling almost… mad at him.
I felt used. And stupid. And embarrassed.
Definitely embarrassed…
My hand clutched the door handle, and I was ready to leave. I heard Nick press the lock button, sending the whole car into a loud spasm of clicks.
“What is it with men and holding me hostage?” I muttered under my breath.
Craning my neck, I glared at Nick. I guess it was obvious that I was ticked off.
“What’s wrong, Emery?” he asked genuinely.
“What, you’re not going to make a move on me?” I asked sarcastically.
He sighed and ruffled up his dark mass of hair. He looked stressed; guilty.
“Look, Em, I know you probably don’t like me right now,” he said softly, “But there is an explanation for all of this.”
“There always is.”
He stayed quiet. So I waited, for a long time. Crossing my arms I turned in my seat so I was looking at him directly. I knew it was dark, but he could see me giving him a questioning look.
“You’re saying there is a reason why we were on a date tonight, rather than just hanging out like you’d suggested, and you won’t tell me?” I asked, chuckling menacingly.
“It’s a long story, Em,” he sighed, his face pained, “But it’s not completely mine to tell.”
I shook my head, turning in my seat to look forward. I went for the door handle again, but he pressed the lock button once more.
“Will you just let me go? I have nothing more to say to you.” Geez, I sounded like I was breaking up with him.
“Emery, I’m an asshole for doing this to you, I know. But this has just gotten a little out of hand, and Fox was the one to–”
“Fox is in on this?” I growled.
“He started it,” Nick growled back with equal ferocity, “He loves getting into other people’s business.”
“By people you mean,” I gasped, piecing it together, “You and Lily.” It made sense now.
Nick said nothing. He just sat there. The car erupted in simultaneous clicks and I realized I was free to go.
“So what now..?” I sighed as my hand enclosed the door handle for a third time.
“I don’t know, Emery,” he shook his head. “All I know is tonight was a mistake.”
“How about we hang out tomorrow, without a crowd,” I suggested.
Nick smirked. “I owe you that ‘hanging out’ day, don’t I?”
“I do believe so.”
“I’ll pick you up at noon,” he smiled.
I smiled in turn. “Okay then.”
“Goodnight, Em,” he said, and I returned a goodbye before getting out of the car. The living room light was no longer on.
Nick and I are just friends, and Fox is an asshole, I repeated under my breath as I marched up to my room. The fact that my house was as dead and dark as a cemetery allowed the anxiety to seize control of my wandering imagination.
***
I tapped my pen against my desk rhythmically as Mrs. Sawyer passed out our term paper rubric. My head throbbed and I set it down on my desk, using my arm as a pillow.
My eyes, stinging with every blinking motion, burn as I close them. I was beyond tired.
Spending the entire day with Nick had definitely not been the brightest idea. It’d been fun, though. So fun in fact, I’d forgotten about the stack of homework I’d left in my book bag. Procrastinating had never been my thing…
My chair jerked forward, and I frowned as I opened my eyes. Not only was Mrs. Sawyer approaching (and if I didn’t sit up there would be consequences), but it took me a minute to process that Fox had just saved me.
I turn around once Sawyer retreated to her desk, and arched my brow at him.
“What’s with you?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I muttered, covering my mouth as I yawned. My eyes watered and I wiped the corners of them, careful not to smudge my eyeliner.
> “You look like shit,” he observed.
“Really? Aww, thanks,” I snorted, turning back around so I could start on my stupid fifteen-page report.
“No, seriously, did something keep you up at night?” he pressed, leaning forward in his desk.
“Yeah,” I said, mid-yawn. “Homework,” I answered after wiping my watery eyes.
“Homework?” he smirked. “Why’d you put it off so long? You had something better to do yesterday?”
“Actually, yes, I did,” I snapped, turning back around to face him “Is that so hard to believe?”
His smile faltered, and he glanced at my hand. It was resting on his desk, right next to his - our fingers were mere centimeters apart. He looked up as I pulled my hand away and ran it through my hair.
“What’d you do yesterday?” he asked, suddenly interested.
I remembered what Nick had told me Saturday night after that disastrous double date.
You like playing games, Fox? Let’s play a game.
“Why don’t you ask Nick?” I suggested innocently.
I smothered my wicked smile until I was facing forward in my chair, tapping my pen against the desk yet again.
***
Life is built on lies, I decided as I headed for the Red Cross Center that afternoon. When I was six, I caught my mom replacing the baby tooth under my pillow with a five dollar bill. When I was seven, I realized Santa Claus couldn’t get into our house because we didn’t have a chimney. So as I waited all giddy by the front door for him to show, I caught my father tip-toeing down the creaking steps with a handful of wrapped gifts. But little kids are gullible; why not take advantage to make them happy?
Growing up, you didn’t stop with the lies. You just got better at them.
Nina continuously asked me if she looks fat. Fat? No, of course not. Pregnant? Just a tad. My dad swore he’d applied for countless jobs and had several upcoming interviews, when I knew for a fact he’d given up on that a long time ago. Lily? Lily had yet to mention any sort of a past with Nick. And that hurt. It wasn’t like we’d shared everything with each other… but I thought we’d shared enough.
I should’ve caught on… She’d always been up front with how much she disliked Fox, and then she goes on a date with him? I should’ve questioned her about it, gone with my gut-feeling.
Instead I was stuck in this web of lies; I was the fly that was stupid enough to soar blindly into the sticky silken trap, woven by a heartless, son of a bitch spider.
Nina had Fox and I drive around, posting flyers of the free Thanksgiving dinner we’d be serving at the homeless shelter. I groaned but did as she’d asked, ‘cause you’re supposed to humor pregnant women.
“So, how do you like Nick?” Fox asked, not wasting time as we drove off.
I stared at the half-naked trees, watching as the wind stole a few red leaves from their weak branches.
“Well I spent a whole weekend with him. I obviously hate him,” I shrugged sarcastically.
“I see,” Fox muttered. I couldn’t help but notice the muscles in his arms as he turned the steering wheel.
Guys turning steering wheels was a turn on?
Oh God, I’m a pathetic little virgin.
I bit my lip and rubbed my eyes.
Maybe my brain wasn’t functioning right from the lack of sleep. We went around, taping up flyers everywhere we could. The chilly wind made me shiver as it slipped down my back and ruffled my hair. After about an hour, we had completed our mission and returned to the center. Or so I thought.
“Um, what are you doing?” I asked Fox as he steered the car into the parking lot of a Burger King.
“What’s it look like?” he sighed, unbuckling his seat belt.
My stomach, the traitor it was, growled and gave Fox the initiative to unbuckle my seat belt as well.
I sat in my seat, unflinching. It wasn’t that I didn’t love fast food. It was simply that I didn’t want to spend any more time with Fox than absolutely necessary. He had a bad effect on me.
I sucked in my stomach and held my breath as he leaned over and his face appeared inches before mine. What on God’ green earth was he… oh. I exhaled sharply as he pulled the handle and shoved my door open for me and then opened his own.
He ordered the Whopper, and I ordered chicken fries. We both got large sodas and split the French fries.
I felt like I was committing some act of treason. Fox was bringing back memories of Nick and Lily’s past, and he had no right to put them through that!
He set the tray of food down in front of me and I grabbed a chicken fry. It was hot, but I bit it anyway.
“You should’ve gotten a burger,” he commented, biting down on his.
“Had one on Saturday,” I mumbled.
“I’d eat a Whopper every day if I could,” he said.
I don’t care, I thought in my head. But I kept quiet and dipped a fry into some ketchup.
We ate silently for a minute, but it didn’t take long for Fox to catch a rift in the mood.
“Are you mad at me or something?” he asked.
I shrugged, not sure of how to answer his question. I was mad at him, because he had upset my friends. I was mad at him indirectly.
“You seem distracted by something? Did Nick try anything?” Fox asked suddenly.
I almost choked on my soda, but I sipped some more as I eyed him.
“Define ‘try anything’,” I said mischievously.
He clenched his jaw as he asked, “Did Nick kiss you last night?”
“Did Nick kiss me?” I repeated, toying with him.
“What are you, an echo?” he muttered.
I smiled innocently, trying not to laugh. I’m so bad.
“Did his lips touch yours?” he reiterated.
I thought for a moment, replaying last night’s events.
“No, his lips did not make advances on mine,” I said solemnly, picking up another chicken fry.
He watched me eat it, and I felt slightly uncomfortable. The heat his eyes were emitting made me uneasy.
“What’s that supposed to mean? You kissed him?”
My only reply to his questions was another sly smile. He sat there, obviously bothered by my lack of straight answers. I munched on a fry happily, waiting for him to pounce with a reworded question.
Instead he stated, “I don’t believe you.” His emerald eyes were cold as he waited for my reaction. He was challenging me.
I nodded, wiping the grease from my fingers with a napkin.
“You don’t have to,” I said, grabbing the tray and throwing our trash away. We got in the van and drove back to the RCC without a word.
White is for Virgins Page 20
