by Claire Raye
“Yeah, Reid, I’m okay with you doing that.”
Reid hangs out with me for a couple more hours, his roommate Logan also eventually showing up for a few drinks. Being a Saturday though, it’s a busy night, especially now the football team is back from their away win, so we don’t get much more of a chance to talk.
Eventually he grabs my attention, letting me know he’s heading home and will catch me later. I wave him off and turn to serve another drunk customer.
By the time we close up and I head home, it’s nearly two in the morning. I’ve got no idea on the sleeping arrangements when I get back, given Mila is still here, but when I walk in the back door, I can see her curled up on the couch, sound asleep with the TV still on.
I walk in and switch it off, leaving a side lamp on so she can see if she happens to wake in the middle of the night, before heading back to Ruby’s bathroom to take a quick shower.
Afterward, I wrap a towel around my waist and knock quietly on Ruby’s door.
“Yeah?” comes her voice.
Opening the door, I peek inside, find her sitting up in bed, some music playing softly as she taps away at her laptop. “Hey,” she says. “It’s cool. Mila’s on the couch.”
I nod, swallowing hard as I walk into her room. “I just gotta grab some clothes,” I say, avoiding her gaze as I walk over to my bag and grab some boxers. I head back to the bathroom, quickly pulling them on before brushing my teeth and walking back to her bedroom.
“How was work?” she asks when I walk in.
I exhale, running a hand through my hair as I throw my dirty clothes in a pile beside my bag. “Busy.”
“Yeah, Mila actually wanted to come in, but I kinda told her it’s not cool with the whole fake ID thing given, you know…” she says, waving a hand at me.
I smile. “Thanks, yeah it’s a little weird.”
“She’s gonna be a pain in my ass when she transfers here, that’s for sure.”
I chuckle, standing beside my bag, suddenly unsure what to do.
“You gonna come to bed?” she asks.
I look up and find Ruby watching me. “Is that okay?”
She tilts her head at me. “Of course it is,” she says. “This is your room too.”
I exhale, scrubbing a hand across my jaw and the couple of day’s worth of stubble I now have. “I don’t have…” I pause, taking another breath. “I mean I don’t have to stay here if…” I trail off, not quite knowing how to say it.
“Caleb,” she says, her voice firm. I look up again, my eyes meeting hers. She offers me a smile that holds no trace of pity or sympathy or anything else I was expecting.
“Yeah?”
“I’m totally okay with you being here,” she says, her voice soft. “I even made some space so you can unpack your clothes if you want,” she adds, gesturing to the closet.
I walk over to the bed, pulling back the duvet as I slide in between the sheets. “I seriously don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you, Ruby,” I murmur, turning to face her.
She smiles at me and it’s fucking beautiful. “I mean obviously, right?” she says, shrugging as her grin widens.
I laugh, sliding closer as I nudge her with my shoulder a little and point toward her laptop, grateful that she doesn’t feel the need to bring up what happened earlier today. That we are just acting like we always do when I come home late and she’s up waiting for me.
“What are you doing?”
By the time Monday rolls around, I’m feeling back to my normal self again, well as normal as possible given everything.
Mila left earlier today, excited at the prospect of moving here next semester. As crazy and unlike Ruby as she is, I do really like her, especially once we got the chance to get to know each other. Thankfully I hadn’t had to work last night, so we’d done family dinner and movie night together, which had descended into the usual shit fight when Reid, Ruby and I had tried to get Sienna to watch something she didn’t want to watch.
Surprisingly, Mila had been on Sie’s side and it was fucking hilarious having the two of them try to convince us that Captain America: Winter Soldier was a poor choice. Obviously we’d won though and the whole night had been really good fun.
The door to Ruby’s classroom opens and I watch as everyone streams out, Ruby included.
“Hey!” I smile, arms open as she walks toward me.
“Hey yourself,” she replies, stepping into my arms.
I wrap them around her, pulling her close so her body is flush with mine as I press a kiss to her temple. “How was class?”
Ruby wraps her arms around my waist, squeezing me. “Good, really good.”
I pull back a little, my arms still around her shoulders as I look down at her. “Professor Creepy leave you alone?”
She smiles up at me, her beautiful brown eyes sparkling. “Yep,” she nods. “He did. I think he’s got the message.”
My grin widens as I glance up at the classroom windows, see the fucker we’re talking about as he stands there staring at us. “Mmmm,” I say, turning back to Ruby. “Well, just in case,” I whisper, as I lower my head and brush my lips against hers, not even thinking about how wrong this is or how much I shouldn’t be doing this right now.
Fuck it.
Chapter Seventeen
Ruby
It isn’t just a brush this time as Caleb presses his lips to mine and everything in me lights up. It feels like my body is burning from the inside out, but I never want it to end. I’m trying not to completely lose it right now over this fake kiss. I know it’s just for show, but it’s not one of those half-assed kisses where he just pecks my lips. It is full-fucking-on and I want to moan out loud and I want to beg him for more, but that isn’t what this is about. It’s about making Professor Keller think Caleb is my boyfriend, that what we have is real, and right now Caleb’s doing one hell of a job. The tip of his tongue darts out and he runs it along the inside of my bottom lip and without thinking about it, without even realizing I’m doing it, my arms wrap around him, my body melting into his.
Our first kiss is a farce, but holy shit if it isn’t epic. There’s not a chance anyone walking by thinks this isn’t real, because even I’m starting to think it’s real. I want it to be real.
“Go with it, Ruby,” he now murmurs against my mouth. “He’s watching us.” Caleb pulls back slightly, his hand now wrapped around my neck, his thumb brushing my cheek. “How was your day?”
“My day?” I ask, sounding far too breathy and desperate. “My day was fine.” This time my words are more composed, but my body still feels like it’s spinning out of control. There’s a haziness to my thoughts and even though I answered that my day was fine, I don’t have a clue if it even was. Everything in my brain keeps coming back to our kiss, a kiss that wasn’t even real.
“Good,” he now says, kissing the spot where his thumb just touched. “I think he’s probably gotten the picture, don’t you?”
“Yeah, for sure,” I reply, glancing back toward the lecture hall as we walk away, trying to regain my composure.
“You sure you’re okay? Your cheeks are really flushed,” Caleb now says, laughing a little. “That was some kiss, huh? I didn’t realize I’d caught you so off guard.”
“Stop giving me shit, Caleb Parker. You’re just a really good fake kisser.” I shove him a little as we’re walking and he laughs out loud. It’s like music to my ears, a song of happiness, a song that makes the weekend feel like a million years away.
“Who said it was a fake kiss?” he responds, and my heart suddenly halts in my chest. It was a fake kiss, wasn’t it?
We had a conversation on Saturday where he said he couldn’t do this whole relationship thing. He told me to be patient and that is exactly what I was doing until he accosted me with a kiss that was better than sex. This wait is killing me. But I know he wavers, he struggles with what is right for him and what isn’t. He wants his life back and being with me feels normal, so it’s difficult for both o
f us to draw that hard line in the sand.
“Why are you so damn cheeky?” I ask, bumping him with my hip as we walk home. “It was a fake kiss because it can’t be real, remember?”
“Oh, don’t worry, I remember, Ruby.” His reply back is playful, but there’s still some seriousness in his tone. Of course he knows it was fake, right? This boy has my head spinning.
We walk together in silence, me obsessing over it all while he seems totally casual, like he wasn’t affected by it at all. I’ve kissed lots of boys in my time. Hell, I’ve even slept with a handful, so I have no idea why this one is causing me to take a pause and analyze it. Why can’t I just look at Caleb like a random boy I’ve made out with at a party? Someone needs to slap me.
“Reid is taking Sie out of town for her birthday this weekend,” Caleb announces and while I know her birthday is this weekend, I didn’t know Reid had something planned. I’m sure it will be fucking unreal because he doesn’t do anything small when it comes to her.
“Where are they going?” I ask, knowing I need to talk to Sienna about it. Reid spoils her and she’s damn lucky since she’s struggled for so long financially. She deserves everything he does for her and one day when she and Reid have graduated, they’ll be able to live the life she’s always wanted.
“They’re going down to San Diego. He booked some fancy hotel, which I’m sure will only serve as a place for them to have sex. Seems like such a waste.” His face turns up into a grimace causing me to laugh and completely agree with him.
“Right?” I respond, mockingly appalled at their ability to spend the entire time in the hotel room. I’m sure it has a beautiful pool and probably some overpriced spa too, but I’d be all in. “You working this weekend?” I add.
“Nah, I actually took Saturday and Sunday off, too. No real plans though.”
It’s like his words remind me of what an idiot I am and I gasp out loud, my hand covering my mouth. I feel like such a fool, carrying on about Sie and Reid and asking him if he’s working.
“I’m such a moron!” I yell out, slapping a palm over my face. “It’s your birthday too! We have to celebrate,” I say, turning to face him, grabbing his shoulders as I shake him a little. “Come on. What do you want to do?” I pause for a brief second, giving him very little time to answer. “Obviously I can’t take you to San Diego, but let’s do something together. Tell me what you want to do.”
“Whoa there. Settle down, Ruby. It’s just a birthday, like any other day. I’m twenty-two. Not much to really celebrate, right?”
“Don’t be stupid, Caleb. We are celebrating so you can either tell me what you want to do or I can surprise you.”
He stops walking and even though he isn’t saying it, I can see the light behind his eyes, the prospect of his birthday gleaming from inside him. I want to make this day something he remembers, something to shove aside all the bullshit in his life and remind him that he has so much to look forward to.
“Okay, fine. Surprise me,” he says, sounding resolved to the fact that I was going to do something regardless.
“Yes!” I call out, throwing my arms around him and he does the same, lifting me off the ground slightly as he hugs me back just as tightly. “Now we gotta hurry home so I can check my notebook where I write everything down that you love.”
“Huh?” he responds, shooting me a sideways glance while I laugh out loud.
“Settle down, Caleb. That was a joke. I have no clue what you like other than beer and movies.” I shrug my shoulders, hoping he at least gives me a quick hint at something, and his response is one I should’ve seen coming, but of course I’m caught off guard.
“I like you, so that’s easy. I’ll just have you for my birthday.”
Well, fuck me. What does that even mean?
I could give myself to him without question, but we can’t do that. We can’t cross that line. At least not right now, not while he’s still trying to sort his life out. It will just complicate things and we don’t need that. We have so much we need to work through and us being able to conquer his panic attacks doesn’t mean shit if he isn’t able to do it himself.
“I’ll talk to Sienna,” I mutter out, my heart racing at his words, but not wanting to acknowledge them. Things have been really fucking crazy today between that kiss and him telling me he wants me for his birthday.
Holy shit.
I think he just likes fucking with me and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it.
“Wanna go for a run when we get home?” I ask now, trying to distract myself from his comment and also figure out a way to calm the craziness that is racing though my body like a car on the Autobahn.
“Sure. Don’t forget I joined a gym, so get ready to get your ass handed to you. It’s on, Ruby.”
“Dude, you went to the gym once. I don’t think it works like that, you cocky shit,” I shoot back, loving every second of our witty banter.
“Well, then I’ll race you home,” he calls out, swatting me on the ass as he takes off running.
I wait for Caleb to leave for work before hitting Sienna with a series of questions about how I can help celebrate her brother’s birthday. With her being gone, I want to make sure he realizes it’s still something exciting, something worth celebrating.
“I feel like such an asshole going away with Reid. This is the first birthday Caleb and I have been together for in like three years,” she laments, a whine coming through in her words. “But Reid told me Caleb’s fine with it.”
“He’s acting like he doesn’t care it’s his birthday and I’m not having any of that,” I tell Sienna. “I think you should go away and enjoy your birthday with Reid. Just because you’re twins doesn’t mean you have to do everything together, but I want to make sure he doesn’t feel like his was forgotten.”
“I’m sure you don’t,” she prods back, winking at me a few times as she clicks her tongue. “Trying to get rid of me, huh?”
“Why is this the constant joke? Can’t I just do something nice for him?” I cross my arms over my chest, letting out an annoyed huff.
“Sorry. I know I give you a ton of shit about it, but seriously, thank you. Caleb is almost like his old self when he’s with you.”
“I don’t think it’s just me. His job is helping. Joining the gym and keeping a routine,” I say, trying not to draw attention to the relationship that continues to grow between Caleb and me. Quickly changing the subject because I’m teetering on the edge of confessing to Sie that I’m totally into her brother.
“So, what do you think? Any ideas of what we can do while you’re gone?” I feel like I walked right into the damn joke and I point a finger at her quickly, giving her the stink eye before she lays into me with some dirty suggestions.
Sienna laughs, throaty and deep, her hand slapping the table and I shake my head at how easily she can float between apologizing and giving me shit.
“Okay, in all seriousness. He loves watching the sunset. His favorite food is pizza with black olives and mushrooms. His favorite movie is The Kingsman, like he’s seen it a million times and can recite every line.” She stops and smiles a little and it makes me smile back. He’s somehow just like Sienna, yet still so different. “His favorite cake is yellow cake with chocolate frosting. I have a recipe of a cake my grandma made for us before she passed away. We both love it.”
I tilt my head to the side, a sudden ache in my chest as I think about how for all those years Sie and Caleb grew up without someone to bake their favorite cake or buy them the one gift they always wanted. My parents never missed an opportunity to make my birthday everything I thought it would be, but the two of them never had that. I’m glad Sie has Reid now to whisk her away and give her a weekend to remember. I want to do the same for Caleb.
“Can you get me the recipe?” I ask, choking back the lump I feel form in my throat as I think about all the missed birthdays they’ve both had.
“Of course,” she replies. “When we lived together in Providence
, I made it every year. He’ll be so excited.”
“Is there anything else?” I ask, trying to compile a pretty solid list of things I can do.
“No,” she says, letting out a small puff of air. She smiles at me, but it’s sad and again my heart begins to ache, my chest tightening up. “Thanks, Ruby.” Her head is tilted to the side, her eyes wet with the start of tears.
“Don’t cry, Sie,” I say, sympathetically. “This isn’t something to be sad over. Go have fun with Reid and I’ll be here with Caleb.”
She shakes her head, quietly laughing. “I’m not sad. I’m so damn grateful for you and Reid and that everything worked out the way it did. When you don’t have any family…” She stops, swiping at her eyes, not finishing her thought and she doesn’t have to. I understand what she’s saying and everything her silence implies.
“Please, Sie, I know. We’re family. We were always family and nothing’s going to change that. I love that Caleb is a part of it now, too.”
Sienna has carried around a ton of guilt since leaving Providence to come to Hawthorn, but to make matters worse, when she did return, she found her brother beaten and left for dead. All she wants is for him to have a normal life, for him to recover from it all. I know leaving him on his birthday is hard for her, but I also know she needs to have her own life.
“So go have fun with Reid. Have lots of sex and sleep in and order room service. I’ll be here with Caleb watching The Kingsman and eating cake. If you think of anything else, let me know.”
“Honestly, Ruby, I feel like you know him better than I do these days,” she says, and for a second I think she’s taken a serious turn, but then she giggles a little. “All those nights spent in your bed…”
I give her a long slow blink before pushing back from the kitchen table where we’ve been sitting and I flip her off.
“I love you!” she yells out. “Tell me you love me!”
