“I’m sorry I was so stupid,” he said as they stood there in the pouring rain.
“It’s okay.” She smiled sadly at him, making no effort to walk around him. “I loved you anyway. Maybe I should have waited, but I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“I don’t blame you. I was afraid to lose her. And instead I lost you.” He looked devastated as the rain poured down their faces.
“It was probably a better choice. She’s your kid.”
“I love you,” he said, without reaching out to touch her. He was afraid to. He didn’t want to offend her.
“Me too. It won’t get us far, though. She probably would have made you give me up anyway.” His daughter had a death grip on him. Natalie knew that now.
“I won’t let that happen … if … if you give me another chance. I don’t know if I’d tell her before she comes home. She’ll be home in three months. And I’d fight like a dog for us then.” Natalie smiled at what he said, but she didn’t believe him. “Can I call you?”
They were both so soaked they looked like they had no clothes on, and he wished they didn’t. He remembered too well what her body looked like. He had dreamed of it night after night, and her face and her eyes. And he could see most of her body now through the soaked T-shirt and gym shorts.
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I don’t want to go back to where we were, with me in the closet and you hiding me from her.” He nodded.
“And if I tell her in December when she gets home?”
“She’d probably kill you.” Natalie smiled at him, and he nearly melted. “Maybe it’s a good thing I never had kids.”
“It’s worth it,” he said gently. “So are you. I’d love to see you.” She didn’t answer. She would have loved it too, but too much, and then they’d just be in the same mess again, and even more so, if Heloise had a fit once she knew. Natalie didn’t want to go there. But he was willing to now, more than he had been in June. He knew just how much he loved her now. The last three months had told him. Enough to fight for her with his daughter.
“I don’t want to screw up your life,” she said kindly. She looked like she wanted to move on. It had shaken her up seeing him, and she didn’t have the answers he wanted, just as he hadn’t for her before.
“Take care of yourself,” he said sadly, and moved aside. He had to let her go. He knew he had no other choice. She walked away, and then turned back to look at him, and he was standing there, watching her, in the rain. It was still pouring, and she stopped walking again and just stood there and started crying. He walked toward her then and put his arms around her. There was nothing that either of them could say. They knew the whole story, and how it had ended. And then he kissed her, he couldn’t help himself, he had to. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back, and they stood there kissing in the rain, their bodies pressed together.
“I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered as they pulled away and looked at each other.
“You won’t. I promise. I won’t be that stupid again.”
“You weren’t stupid. You were scared.”
“I’m braver now,” he said, and she smiled. “Do you want to come to the hotel and get dry?” She nodded. They walked back into the hotel in silence and stood dripping in the lobby. They made a dash for the elevator, and the elevator man smiled at her. He was happy to see her again. He didn’t say anything, but he noticed that Mr. Martin was smiling for the first time in months.
Hugues let her into his apartment and went to get them both towels. She took off her shoes and left them in the entry hall and dried her hair first.
“We can have your clothes dried if you want.”
“Thank you,” she said politely. She walked into the second bathroom and came out wearing one of the hotel’s thick terrycloth robes. He was wearing one by then too, and he rang for the maid and handed Natalie’s mound of wet clothes to her and asked her to dry them. When the maid left, Natalie smiled at him. She was barefoot and naked under the robe, but he didn’t dare approach her.
“Tea?” he suggested.
“Thank you.” She had never expected to be here again, at the hotel, with him, in his rooms. She had tried to close the door on everything she felt for him, and so had he, and neither of them had succeeded.
When the tea came up, he handed her a cup of Earl Grey just the way she liked it, and she sat down and looked at him. She didn’t know what to do now. Was this a moment or a lifetime? Neither of them knew, and providence had brought them back together. She had been jogging in Central Park, and then it had started raining, and there he was. He didn’t say a word to her, he just reached out and touched her hand.
“I meant what I said to you in the park. I’ll fight for us, if you let me.” She didn’t answer, she just looked at him and set her cup down. She held out her arms to him, and he took her in his own. Her robe fell away, and then his did, and he carried her into his bedroom and laid her down on the bed and just looked at her.
“You don’t have to fight for me,” she said softly. “I don’t want a war. I just want to be a family so we can love each other.” He nodded. It was what he wanted too. He knew that now, and how precious she was to him and always had been. He didn’t say anything else to her then; he made love to her as he had wanted to for three months, and she gave herself to him with all the love and longing that had refused to die. And when it was over, they lay there together, shaken by what they’d almost lost and found again. And this time they both knew that whatever it took, they wouldn’t let it go.
Chapter 15
HUGUES WENT TO see Heloise in Paris again in October. The weather was beautiful, and he was happy to see her, and she was excited about coming home. He never mentioned Natalie, but Heloise could sense that something was different. She questioned him about it over dinner.
“You’re all grown up now,” he said quietly. “Maybe we both are. I think I needed to grow up too. It’ll probably feel strange when you come home. You’ve been gone for a long time, living your own life, even living with a man.” He smiled at her. And she was loving her internship at the George V. “You’ve gotten very independent.” She looked worried at the idea of things changing. He was trying to prepare her for what was coming. But they had a good time anyway. He only stayed for four days this time. He had a lot to do at home. And when he got back, he made a suggestion to Natalie.
He asked her to redecorate a lovely small suite of rooms on the fifth floor for his daughter. He knew it would be a shock to Heloise to be moved out of his apartment, but she needed that too. And he needed a place to be with Natalie. He was paving the way for the life he wanted to share with her, and Natalie realized immediately that that was what he was doing. Things were different this time, in a good way. She felt loved and respected.
“How do you think she’ll feel about it?”
“Upset, scared, angry, happy maybe. All the things people feel when they’re growing up.” He asked Natalie to make the rooms beautiful, as only she could, and to spare no expense. He wanted it to be a surprise for Heloise when she came home, so Natalie had two months to do it. It wasn’t a lot of time, but he knew how capable she was.
She got started immediately, and by Thanksgiving it was almost ready. She promised him the suite would be finished in two more weeks. It was young and stylish and very chic and just the right place for a young woman who had lived in Paris for six months. Hugues had decided not to disturb her old room for the moment, and he would let her move into her new apartment when she felt ready, which seemed wise to Natalie too.
She put the last touches on it three days before Heloise was due home. He wasn’t sure what kind of shape she’d be in when she got there. She had called him in tears two weeks before; she and François had broken up. She said they had been fighting for months, and he was angry that she was leaving, and she had discovered that he was cheating on her with another intern at the hotel. It was over, and she was staying with a friend. She was leaving her IKEA furni
ture in the apartment, and she was upset about the break-up. Hugues was sorry for her, but in some ways he was relieved. It was a tie she no longer had to keep her there.
And he had been working on a homecoming party for her in the ballroom. Jennifer was organizing most of it, and Sally the catering manager was doing the rest. They were having the party the day after she got home. And she was planning to go skiing with friends the day after Christmas. She was going to start working for him officially after New Year’s. She wanted to have some fun first. She had worked hard at the George V.
Everyone in the hotel was busy before she arrived. Her new apartment was ready. The party for her was all planned. The hotel was full. Natalie was incredibly busy, and Hugues was fielding the usual problems. A drunken guest had fallen down a small flight of stairs and was threatening to sue them. There had been some food theft in the kitchen, and they had to fire three key employees at a busy time of year. And in spite of how busy they were, Hugues and Natalie were happy and peaceful. She was nervous about Heloise’s return, but she had the sense now that Hugues was going to handle it in the best way possible for all of them. She had waited a long time for this, and she trusted him now to finally do it. They’d been happy again since September, after their agonizing summer. And Jennifer was happy to see them back together. Hugues was a different man, and a better one, once Natalie came back. And a lot nicer to deal with than he had been all summer. He was himself again, only better. And Natalie was totally at home in the hotel and stayed in his apartment on most nights.
When Hugues picked Heloise up at the airport, he took the hotel’s van with him for her bags. She had been gone for sixteen months, and it looked more like sixteen years when he saw how much she had brought home with her. She had eight suitcases and several boxes, full of things she had bought at the flea market in Paris. And she threw herself into his arms the moment she saw him. She looked very sophisticated in a black Balenciaga coat she had bought just before she left, with his permission, and high-heeled boots, and her long red hair was tucked into a knitted cap. She looked very stylish, and she chatted animatedly all the way to the hotel. She didn’t mention François, and her father could see that she felt better. She’d obviously been ready to give that up, and they had talked anyway about breaking up when she left. But he had chosen an unpleasant way to do it.
As they had the year before when she came home for Christmas, many of the employees were waiting for her in the lobby, which looked beautiful with the tree and decorations. She hadn’t been home for a year, and the party in the ballroom the next day was going to be a surprise for her, as was the apartment. But Hugues wasn’t ready to tell her about that. He didn’t want to rush her and thought he’d give her a few days to settle in before he showed it to her. He didn’t want her to feel like he was pushing her out of the familiar apartment where she’d grown up. And Natalie was going to stay at her own place for a few days until Hugues had a chance to talk to Heloise about them. And Natalie knew he would this time. He wanted their time together now as much as she did, even if it meant upsetting his daughter. She had her own life, and he needed one too. But it was going to be a major change for Heloise, and possibly not one she was going to like. He hoped she would understand, but he also realized she might not. He was braced for an explosion.
As she had the year before, Heloise went out with friends the night she got back, after having dinner with her father. She was dying to see everyone, but she seemed more settled now and more mature. The internship at the George V had taught her a lot. She had worked at the concierge desk for the past two months, which was always hectic, and she had proven herself to be calm under fire.
Hugues was planning to put her at the reception desk, at least for the first month, to hone her skills handling guests. And he was even thinking of having her spend a month in accounting. She had to learn all aspects of the business now. And a few weeks at the room service desk would do her good too, and the concierge desk for several months. He wanted to round out her experience by June, and then she had to go back to Lausanne for graduation, which he was going to attend with her, and maybe even Natalie by then, if all went well. He was guardedly optimistic, and Natalie hoped he was right.
The morning after she returned, Hugues and Heloise had breakfast together, and then she went all over the hotel dropping off little gifts she’d bought in Paris for special people like Jan, Ernesta, a box of Belgian chocolates for the telephone operators, Jennifer, and Bruce, the head of security. She stopped to chat with each of them, and then she went out to finish her Christmas shopping.
She had told her father that she might go out with friends that night again, and he told her that he needed her in the hotel to help him. She looked a little startled that he expected her to get to work so quickly, but she didn’t argue with him and said she’d be there, and asked him what time. She seemed far more mature about everything after her job in Paris. They had trained her well.
“If you’re back by seven-thirty, that should work. I’ll meet you here. We have some important guests coming in,” he said to get her to her surprise party in the ballroom. He had invited Natalie too. He wanted her there. Heloise promised to be on time, and then left for the day.
She was dressed and ready as promised, at seven-thirty, and Hugues looked formal and official as they went down in the elevator. He had told her to wear a cocktail dress, since they had to stop by a function in the ballroom too. And she was wearing a pretty black lace dress she had bought in Paris, with high heels, and her hair in a bun. He loved the way she looked, and he smiled as they rode the elevator to the second floor. He told her they would stop at the ballroom first, and then greet the VIPs in the lobby after, as they came in. She didn’t ask who they were but followed him blindly to the ballroom. There was music playing and balloons everywhere, and as soon as they walked in, she saw everyone she knew and most of the employees waiting for her, as everyone shouted “Surprise!” and she looked genuinely stunned for a moment as she turned to her father.
“Is this for me?” She was amazed. Even her friends from the Lycée were there, and everyone was smiling at her, while she fought back tears. She was so touched by what her father had done for her and that everyone was there.
“Yes, it is. Welcome home!” There were over a hundred people there. She couldn’t believe they’d given her such a big party, and in the ballroom. It took her a few minutes to absorb it, recover, and start moving around the room to talk to everyone there.
Hugues walked over to Natalie as Heloise made her way through the crowd, and eventually Heloise came back to where they were standing and thanked him again. She was touched by how beautiful the party was. Her father and Natalie were standing together when Heloise came up to them.
“I’m sure you remember Natalie,” he said, introducing her again and trying to sound casual about it. “She’s done several more suites for us since you were home last year. And one I think you’ll particularly like,” he said cryptically but offered no further details. Heloise was too excited to pay close attention to what he’d said. She said a few words to Natalie, and then drifted away.
Eventually Hugues and Natalie left the party, as did most of the adults and older employees, and the young people danced till two A.M. He and Natalie sat in the bar for a long time afterward, and he sent her home with the driver and Rolls. He was sorry he couldn’t spend the night with her. But she knew it was too soon for him to disappear. It was only Heloise’s second night home.
And in the morning, Heloise thanked her father again for the fantastic party. She hadn’t suspected a thing, and actually thought he was going to make her work with him that night. And then she looked at him with mischief in her eye.
“Were you flirting with the decorator last night? Or did I imagine it? She’s very pretty, and I think she likes you.” Heloise looked amused and not worried as he smiled. Her father was handsome, and women always tried to get his attention. He bantered a bit, and Heloise believed he never pursued i
t and was a confirmed bachelor.
“I hope she likes me,” Hugues said quietly over their breakfast. “We’ve been seeing each other for a year now. She’s a very special person, and I hope you get to know her.” He had finally opened the door that had terrified him for a year. It was like a breath of fresh air for him. He wasn’t going to lie to her anymore.
But Heloise looked as though he had dumped a bucket of ice on her as she stared at him. She couldn’t believe what he’d just said.
“What do you mean ‘seeing each other’? You mean sleeping with her?” She was looking at him in disbelief. She was not ready for this announcement, and she wanted him to say he was joking or they were just friends. But he didn’t say that to her. The gloves were off. And it was time to grow up. He had promised this to Natalie, and it was long overdue, for all of them, Heloise too, whether she liked it or not. And for the moment it looked like it was “not.” “Is she your girlfriend?” She glared at him, waiting for an answer she didn’t really want.
He answered very calmly, “Yes, Heloise, she is.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” She looked outraged and hurt at the same time and probably felt both.
“I wanted to, but it never seemed like the right time. You were so far away. And we stopped dating for a while too.” Heloise didn’t know what to say. She stood up and walked away to stand at the window, thinking. And then she turned to her father with a heartbroken look that ripped his heart out. “Why? Why do you need a girlfriend? You never had one before.” She was wondering if it was because she’d been gone. “Were you lonely?” she asked, looking sorry for him. Natalie seemed like a decent, respectable woman, but Heloise wished he’d gotten a dog instead. “You never had a girlfriend before. Why now?”
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