by Paul Kidd
“Um, fifty? There’s new ones fanning out to search the park.” He winced. “Aaaaand twelve more just came out of a tree…”
Throckmorton came fluttering back from a side corridor. He excitedly honked his horn.
“Throckmorton has found a hatch in the floor!”
Kitterpokkie looked relieved. “Yes, well there had to be an emergency exit, of course!”
“Wait wait wait!” Snapper waved a hand at the menu beside the map. “Beau – can you get a picture of the deck below us here? Maybe find that hatch?”
Some experimenting found the correct menu. A map of the next layer just below the park appeared. Beau found a camera covering a corridor that ran right beneath their feet. It showed a waiting group of four security robots, weapons trained on the hatch, waiting to open fire upon anything that attempted to escape.
Beau frowned. “These robots are really starting to annoy me...” He switched back to a view of the world outside the front door, then flicked to another camera. He caught sight of Kenda, who was now climbing aboard a cargo truck as a robotic fork lift loaded the last case of rifles into place. He had a plasma pistol on his belt. The vehicle drove off across the plastic grass, heading towards the hangar bay.
Snapper cursed. “The aircraft we came in – it’s unlocked. He’ll be able to fly it!”
Throckmorton was extremely wary of heat, fire and open flame. He took cover behind the office desk.
“The door is melting.”
Beau turned and grandly waved a hand at the hologram.
“Computer! This is the chairman. Shut down all the security robots!”
“An authorisation from another board member must be recorded in order to initiate security system overrides.”
The door began to bulge inward. Kitterpokkie ran a hand through her antennae and tried to think.
“Wait wait wait! Shutting down the robots is the only option.” She turned to the computer. “Excuse me computer! What constitutes a member of the board?”
“An elected member of the board of directors of the Mistral Securities Corporation.” The hologram pointed to a diagram showing a rather tight, closed company structure. “Membership is voted, and also automatically includes all members of the founder’s immediate family.”
“Brothers, daughters, sons in law – that sort of thing?”
“Yes, citizen.”
“And the chairman is… close family to the founder, of course.”
“Yes, citizen.”
Kitterpokkie paced back and forth. “They must have a structure that allows that family to expand – otherwise they would all die out! So we need to attach someone onto the family – make them a board member, then they can second the command to deactivate the robots.”
Snapper was at a loss. “And how do we do that?”
“One of us marries Beau!”
The shark blinked. “We what?”
Kitt waved at the hologram. “Computer – can you register marriages?”
“Yes citizen. If so requested by a member of the board.”
“Perfect!” Kitt waved her many hands. “So – Beau – tell it to register your marriage.”
“Oh, of course.” The fox-bird dusted off his breastplate and smoothed back his feathers. “To whom shall I be married?”
There was a moment’s pause. Throckmorton suddenly waved a tentacle.
“Throckmorton is not convinced that he and Beau are physically compatible.”
Kitt cleared her throat. “I’m very much married to my work…”
Snapper flicked a glance at the melting door. “It’s not a real marriage! It’s just a marriage of ‘Hey, let’s not get melted’!” She ran up to the computer hologram. “Fine – he’s marrying me!”
“Ah!” Beau waved his glowing pendant. “Computer, I wish to be married to this person beside me.”
The computer equipment on the desk showed a blue light glowing beside a little grey pad.
“Please scan the personal ID chip of the individual who will be joining your family. The happy couple may then take their vows for official registration.”
Everyone stared at each other. Snapper slapped at her empty coin purse.
“ID chip?”
No one had money. No one had taken any chips from the dead out in the city. Snapper looked about the room.
“It has to be high value! Something they’d believe would marry a chairman of the board…” Suddenly her hand fell upon her helmet’s fur turban. She scrabbled beneath, and pulled out a gleaming blue chip.
“Here! Here here!”
It was the blue chip she had found on the bones of the dead motorcyclist, way back on the first day the Screamers had appeared. She placed the chip onto the scanner, and the computer blinked its light to green.
There was a moment’s pause, then the computer voice beamed.
“Welcome to the family, Andre Castanello.”
“Andre?” Snapper raised one brow. “We’re a same sex marriage?”
Beau performed a majestic bow. “The machine cannot behold your very obvious, very charming, most utterly riveting physical charms.”
“Watch it, you!” Snapper turned to the computer. “What’s next?”
A section of the door began to melt. Sparks sprayed inwards as the next shot hit the weakening metal. Inside the room, the computer hologram wavered.
“Do you wish to register a prenuptial agreement?”
“Yeah – how about an agreement that if he so much as touches me, I’ll punch him in the snout!”
“So registered.” The machine hummed. “Would you like a full wedding service?”
“Oh why not!” Beau brightened. “I always wanted a full wedding!”
“Beau! Just tell the thing to make us married!” Sparks were spraying inwards. The door almost burst open. “Move it!”
Beau cleared his throat. “Quickest registry possible, please computer!”
“Certainly.” The computer hummed. “In accordance with section five, subsection three of the municipal codes for registry of births, deaths and marriages, the wedding of these two individuals is hereby recorded and attested.” The hologram turned to face Beau.
“Do you…”
Beau hurried leapt in. “I do!”
The computer hologram faced Snapper. “And do you….?”
“Yes!” The shark was backing away from the door as a blast of molten metal showered inwards. Part of the ceiling started to crack and shatter. “I do, I do, I do!”
A plasma bolt burst through the molten door and slammed against the wall. The computer hologram stopped and stuttered, the voice wavering horribly.
“You are hereby registered. Congratulations.” The hologram faced Beau. “Honoured chairman – you may now kiss your partner.”
“Don’t even think it!” Snapper ducked as three more plasma bolts slammed into the walls. “Computer! I second the chairman’s command! Deactivate all security robots! deactivate all security robots!”
The molten door was wrenched apart by a robot’s armoured claws. The killer machine lunged inward, weapons ready. Snapper drew her sword and dodged aside, ready to try and decapitate the damned thing. But the robot suddenly froze in place.
Molten metal slowly drip-drip-dripped to the floor. Outside the building, silence reigned. Throckmorton carefully emerged from cover, crossbow pointed at the robot.
“Are we alive?”
“I believe so.” Kitterpokkie had managed to cling to an upper wall. She clambered awkwardly down. “Computer? Computer?”
The hologram fizzled. One of the last plasma bolts had struck the equipment, shorting out some panels and vaporising others. The hologram struggled, but was apparently off line. The computer voice now came from a single speaker somewhere back behind the desk.
“Yes, citizen?”
Snapper called to the computer. “Return all security robots to storage areas.”
Beau waved a hand. “Seconded! Return the robots to storage.”
> “Security robots returning to their ready zones.”
The robot jamming the doorway moved off and away. There was a hellish clanking and clattering outside. Kitt peered through the red hot hole blown through the door, shielding her face from the heat.
“It’s working! They’re all heading back into those trenches!”
“Great!” Snapper flinched from the waves of heat coming off the door. “Computer – once the security robots return to storage, shut them down. Quarantine is now over.” Snapper called out. “Beau?”
“Yes – shut down the security robots. We are declaring the quarantine to be finished.”
“Yes, honoured chairman.”
Kitt and Throckmorton blinked in relief. Snapper tried to fight her way forward through the molten door, but the heat drove her back. She measured up the gap, intending to make a running leap, but Kitt held her back.
“Wait!”
“We have to get the critters! We have to chase down Kenda!”
“He has a plasma gun!” Kitterpokkie clung to the shark. “Snapper – we have to wait for it to cool! Throcky can’t go through! His gas might explode!”
Snapper was utterly beside herself. “We can’t let him get away! We have to get those guns!”
“Snapper, he’s already away. We can’t catch him.”
Beau came forward, raising his hands in supplication.
“Dear, as your husband, I really must insist that we speak about this.”
“Beau, not even in jest. I mean it!” Snapper pointed her sabre at the man. “Nup! Nuh uh! No mention! No marriage mentions! None! Never!”
The whole area outside the molten doors was filled with red hot metal, steaming plastic and smoke. Deadly heat radiated up out of the ground. The opening in the door was big enough to crawl through, but a running jump was clearly foolish. Kitterpokkie ran back through to the kitchen.
“Is there water? Let’s cool it down!” There were a few bowls here and there. “Open your packs – use the cooking pots! Throcky – you stay here and fill. Keep away from the heat.”
She started carrying water to the molten door, throwing it from a distance. Steam burst and hissed into life. But three trips and three pots worth of water seemed to do little to cool the metal down. The mantis shielded her face and winced.
“Can we get out through that floor hatch?”
“Um, no.” Beau was helping Throckmorton fill more pots and pans. “It looks melted. I think the robots had started shooting at that one too.”
Snapper swore and tore open her pack. She found a billy can and tossed it to Throckmorton. Kenda’s pack lay nearby – she upended it and spilled the contents all over the floor. She passed the man’s cooking pot to Beau, then found two pieces of weird technology hidden in amongst the underwear and socks.
One was a small hand held box, clearly of ancient manufacture. It had an aerial that could extend outwards a metre or more. She passed it to Kitterpokkie, who flipped it over and examined the controls.
“Radio. He had a radio with a functioning battery.”
“And this.” Snapper pulled out the second item. It was horribly familiar. “Throcky? Do you see this?”
It was a dead ringer for the flattened item Throckmorton had found amidst the tracks of the Screamer stampede. The device had a battery, and a simple on/off switch. Snapper flicked the switch, and almost threw the gadget away as a terrible screeching scraped up and down her nerves.
“Holy Godfish!” She clamped hands over the electric sensors in her snout. “Off! Get it off!”
Kitterpokkie grabbed the device and shut it off. Snapper instantly relaxed. Kitt looked at her in inquiry. “What was it?”
“You didn’t feel that?” The shark had to shake her head. “That was there every time the Screamers attacked. Before they attacked! Every single time.”
“Coming from the Screamers?”
“I don’t think so.” Snapper shook her head, throwing off the terrible sensation. “But it was out there in the area. Somewhere nearby.”
“You sensed it even on that very first encounter?” Kitt was fascinated by the device. “And after you heard it, an attack always followed…”
The mantis looked up from the device.
“It’s a lure.” Kitterpokkie nodded. “Throckmorton found one at the battle site. They must draw the Screamers into areas by using these lures. Then once the Screamers sight their prey, the creatures go on a rampage on their own initiative.” She tapped the device in her hand. “They have agents out there. Remember the horse shoe? They must have agents herding the Screamers.”
“And infiltrating us.” Snapper arose. “Kenda was a guard for that wagon convoy. Want to bet there were friends of his working with the other convoys that were lost?” Snapper was angry at herself. “Damnit, his sword! No one in the villages ever made that sword. I should have known.”
Beau was still hurtling water onto the hole in the door. Steam hissed and water sizzled as he worked. “They have an army, and they have more Screamers. They intend to invade.”
“And they’ll wipe us all out if we can’t stop them.” Snapper ran fingers through her long hair. “Computer! Can you access the aircraft now present in the hangar? Can you prevent them from launching?”
The computer’s voice stuttered and wavered.
“Aircraft systems are autonomous. They are not responsive to commands from Mistral computers.”
“Can you deny them permission to take off?”
“Aircraft can be denied permission if in defiance of safety regulations, if weather forecasts indicate safety-critical weather, or if the vehicle does not correspond to safety standards.”
“Aha!” Snapper waved a hand at the computer. “Its power plant is a hundred and fifty years past its required servicing date!”
“Checking…” The computer paused for a moment. “Vehicle has been advised to return to hangar for servicing.”
“Return to hangar?”
“Vehicle has departed hangar. Passing out of Mistral air traffic control.”
“Damnit!”
Snapper threw Kenda’s clothing at the wall, where they lay atop a pile of hot metal and began smoking. A bottle of green oil sat by his pack. She kicked it aside.
“Damn!”
Throckmorton came flapping forward, dragging a hose along beneath him.
“Throckmorton has found a hose!”
“Excellent.” Beau helped to gather up the hose. “We’ll get the door cooled. Never fear – we can fix this! We shall triumph – the seeds of their doom are already sewn!”
The shark looked up at him.
“Really?”
“Oh absolutely. You and Kitt will figure it out. It’s what we do, it seems.” Beau headed to the kitchen to try and attach the hose. “Right! Here we go. Snapper – please do the honours.”
Snapper rose and took control of the hose. She sighed, and looked back towards the hologram.
“Computer – what’s the aircraft’s destination? Did it tell you its flight plan?”
“Flight plan recorded.” The computer stuttered badly, then brought up a flickering holographic map. “Destination is East Maquarrie station.” The image wavered. It showed the transport map of the outer world. Maquarrie station lay far to the east of Padbury, along a subterranean rail line. “ETA forty eight minutes.”
“He’ll get there just before the engines blow.” Snapper looked to the east. “So that must be right out in the desert. Way, way out there in the desert.”
“An enclave protected by waterless sands.” Kitterpokkie signalled to Beau, and water came sluicing out of the hose. “So that’s where they are.”
The hose was clearly the right tool for the job. Steam blasted back from the door and the pavement. Snapper worked on the task for the next few minutes, but her mind was on Kenda and his invading hordes.
“Kenda and the Screamers. How are they getting to us across the desert?”
“At a guess? Subway tunnels.” Kit
t waded through the splashing water and steam, gingerly feeling the heat from the door. “They’ll be coming straight down that tunnel that leads from the desert towards Padbury. They probably blew in one end of the tunnel to hide their route when the last invasion failed.” The map showed three small stations dotting the route. “They likely have other exits – little stations, inspection hatches… but Padbury brought them right to our door.”
“They could emerge anywhere along that eastern tunnel line.” Snapper finished with the hose. “Find an inspection hatch, dig a wider exit, and they have an invasion route.”
“Exactly.”
Kitterpokkie touched the door. “Right – cool!” She stepped through and checked the world outside. “Excellent. Well, let us not despair. We have one vital, crippling advantage over the blighters.”
Snapper hauled on her pack. “What’s that?”
“Kenda is quite certain that we are dead.” The mantis nodded, feeling a twinge of excitement. “And that will serve us very nicely. I think we can pull the tools we need into place.” She headed back into the security building. “Beau – let us interrogate the computer for a while.
Snapper ran outside, checked for robots, then ran to the garage. The animals were rather subdued, and crept out peering cautiously around. Throckmorton arrived and helped to round up the pack beasts. Onan and Pendleton shook out their respective feathers and fur. Snapper led the entire collection of animals carefully around to the other building, just in time to see Beau and Kitterpokkie ferrying the equipment out onto a patch of unburned lawn. Kitterpokkie was triumphant.
“I don’t think Kenda’s army will be able to do much for a while. It will certainly take them a week to walk through the tunnels to reach the west. Still, we must be busy! Work to do, work to do! We should hopefully be off and flying before nightfall.”
Snapper pushed back her helmet. “The computer told you about stores and stuff?”
“Nitric acid, sulphuric and hydrochloric. They have storage drums. Hopefully intact. Silver and so on…” She looked triumphant. “And also two hundred kilograms of high explosives.”
“Oh!” Snapper blinked. “Whacko!”
