14.
The next few days went by in a blur. Valerie could hardly believe it as she packed up her few belongings and loaded them into Gabriel’s car. It took a few trips, but soon, she was officially moved in to his house. They went together to the school to speak with her professors, and Gabriel explained the severity of the situation to them in terms only other shifters would truly understand. By the time they returned back to the house, the realization that her life as she knew it had changed forever crashed upon her suddenly, and she locked herself in the bedroom Gabriel had assigned for her, unable to truly comprehend just how different her life was going to be.
“I really appreciate you guys cleaning up after the robbery, and even taking the time to do the inventory the way you did, and once Gabriel is convinced you are safe, you are welcome to come back to the record store anytime you want.”
She could hardly believe Randall’s words, but they were her only source of comfort in the moment. She hung up the phone with him and looked around the sterile little room. It was nice in its way, it had a woman’s touch. Gabriel probably hadn’t had anything to do with its design. It was probably all due to the late wife he didn’t seem able to get over. In a way, she felt jealous of her, but mostly, she just felt sorry for Gabriel for having to endure such a huge amount of pain. Sometimes, life just didn’t seem fair.
“I serve dinner at six o’clock,” Gabriel said from outside the bedroom door. “It’s all right if you don’t want to eat with me. But if you do, I always make enough for two. It’s just an old habit I never got out of. I eat a lot of leftovers.”
Valerie wanted to answer, but there was a sick lump in her throat, and she was afraid that if she did, she would just begin to cry. She had never handled change very well, least of all the changes she had no control over. Part of the reason she resented Gabriel’s claim on her so much was because it took so much of her control way. That was what she needed most during the times when she had been trapped in the foster care system. She worked hard to carve her life out in the direction she wanted to go, and anybody interfering with that wasn’t welcome.
And yet, knowing Gabe cared so much about her, and was doing everything in his power to protect her from the threat gave her a feeling unlike anything she had ever experienced before. She felt as if somebody cared for her. As if she were safe. And that made her even more confused than before. Because she knew there is no way it was possible that she really was safe. She didn’t know anything about Gabriel, and the truth was, even if he wanted to protect her from the bad shifters, there was a possibility he wouldn’t even be able to.
Maybe they were both just kidding themselves by thinking her living there might change the situation. If she was meant to get into trouble, then she was just meant to get into trouble. Maybe some things were useless to fight. Maybe she would never be anything more than a powerless ward of the state; a victim.
Val was distracted from her thoughts by the strong scent of food wafting through the house. Wolf shifters were notorious for their incredible cuisine, and the only taste she had ever had was the take-out food she bought. Shifters heavily guarded their secrets, rarely allowing humans to taste the full range of flavors present in their food unless they truly trusted them not to insult the shifter pallet.
Her stomach rumbled despite herself.
“Traitor,” she grumbled down at it.
No matter how irritating it was to be ordered around by Gabe, she was helpless to her desire to try real shifter food; especially when she was so hungry. Her schedule left her strapped for time, to the point it was nearly impossible to find the time to cook.
And so, Val took a deep breath and headed out to the kitchen, her nerves bad enough that she was nearly too sick to her stomach to eat by the time she reached the table.
“Ah, so you’ve decided to join me, then,” Gabe said, keeping his back to her as he finished flipping something on the burner. A satisfying hiss came from the food and soon, Gabe’s strong frame was beside her, placing a plate full of delicious looking food in front of her.
“This is my favorite dish,” he said quietly. “My wife used to make it for me.”
Val pursed her lips at the news, feeling awkward and out of place, now, more than she ever had in her life. Her mind leapt to the framed photo of the beautiful woman on Gabe’s mantel. How would he ever be able to get over a woman that gorgeous? There was no way. No wonder he was so resentful of her any time things started to get physical.
“Thank you,” Val said quietly, hoping to sidestep the uncomfortable subject altogether. Gabe seemed relieved for this and sat down across from her, his own plate piled high with food.
He seemed to sense Val’s disbelief, and he looked at her, his dark eyes wide. “What?”
Val laughed. “That’s just a lot of food.”
Gabe grinned and flexed playfully. “I’m a big guy. It takes a lot of fuel to keep this body going.”
“So I see,” she said with an easy laugh.
“Try it,” Gabe said, smiling at her. Val couldn’t help but stare. His chiseled features seemed softer somehow when he smiled. She wished he would do it more often.
“All right,” Val said, suddenly catching herself. “I will.”
She brought a spoonful of food to her lips, gasping in shock when the explosion of flavors burst on her tongue. Val had never experienced anything like it before, and she stared at Gabe, her eyes round and bright. He laughed as if he had expected a reaction like that, and leaned back in his chair to wait for her to swallow her bite.
“Good, isn’t it?” he asked as she chewed. She brought another bite to her lips right away. Gabe laughed heartily and nodded.
“I’ve never had anything like it before,” Val said when she had finally felt satisfied by her first taste. “You really cook like this all the time?!”
“There’s no other way to eat,” Gabe said, his lips twitching in an effort to suppress a smile.
Soon, they were eating together and having an easy conversation; talking about Val’s course load and all the things she hoped to do with her degree.
“I’ve never met a woman who wants to be a ranger before,” Gabe said, chuckling deeply. The warm rumble of his laugh brought an involuntary smile to Val’s lips, and she realized just how good a time she was having with him. She had never felt like part of a family before, but here at the kitchen table at Gabe’s house, she could almost imagine what that might be like. It was a comforting feeling. One that kind of scared her.
“Well, I don’t just want to be a ranger,” Val said. “I want to work for the benefit of the forest. Conservation and preserving the homes of the wildlife. That’s why one of my former professors recommended coming to Stonybrooke. They said the shifter’s programs are the best.”
“I imagine we would have a vantage point on the topic,” Gabe agreed with a small smile. “It just seems strange for a woman to want to roam around in the woods with a gun, helping little birdies that fall out of their nests.”
“I don’t mind getting my hands dirty,” Val said, unable to prevent the flirtatious smile from creasing her face. Gabe’s smile widened for a moment, and then his features grew dark.
What the hell was she thinking, coming on to him right at the same table he had shared meals with his wife? The beautiful woman she would never be able to compare to, no matter how hard she tried? It was a hopeless effort. Why bother? And why would she let herself make him feel so badly?
“Anyway, that’s just what I’d like to do instead of bouncing around and juggling three jobs.”
“You don’t have to do that anymore,” Gabe said quickly. “Not with me.”
“I’m not going to have any man supporting me financially,” Val said, quirking her brow at him. “No matter whether we’re married or I’m claimed or not. I’m going to have my own life outside of the man I’m with. That’s just the way it has to be.”
Gabe grinned at her and nodded slowly. “Well, you finish your degree and be a
ranger. But until that happens and the danger around these parts dies down, you just enjoy getting a little rest and relaxation. You feel me?”
A hot flush darkened Val’s cheeks and she looked away quickly, remembering just how good it had felt when she had physically felt him. How they had managed to stop themselves she would never know; except for the fact Gabe would never be able to care for her. The only woman he would ever want was his wife, and she was gone. That meant that whatever agonizing feelings she was having for him, she wasn’t going to be able to act on them, whether she liked it or not.
It was probably for the best.
When she looked up at Gabe again, his eyes were flashing, the same dark desire visible within them as they stared at each other. He was doing his best to contain himself; whether the wolf wanted her or not, Gabe himself didn’t.
She decided to make everything easy on him.
“All right,” she said, taking her plate to the sink and washing her dishes quickly. “Thank you for dinner.”
She disappeared upstairs to her bedroom, wondering whether or not it had been a mistake to eat with Gabe. Somehow, though, she was feeling really good about it. Maybe she would just have to play it by ear from then on out.
15.
“What the hell am I supposed to do, Moll?”
Gabe touched the glass of the frame, studying the beautiful features of his wife’s face. It had been so long since he’d seen her. He would give anything to be with her again.
But the wolf was making it more and more clear that the situation with Val was more serious than he wanted for it to be. That private thought she’d had over dinner had smelled better to the wolf than all that food combined. In fact, the wolf was pacing in its cage right at that moment, urging Gabe to throw all his inhibitions out the window and ascend the stairs with utmost urgency.
Gabe was disgusted at himself. Molly had helped him to make this house a home, and now he had invited his biggest temptation there. It had to be done, but it was already starting to feel like the biggest mistake he had ever made, or would ever make. He would never forgive himself if he let the wolf have its way. He refused to betray his wife.
“Gabe?”
Valerie’s voice cut through his thoughts like a sensual blade, and he groaned inwardly, caressing the frame of his wife’s picture one more time before placing it back on the mantel.
“What do you need, kid?” Gabe asked.
Maybe if he focused on the fact the girl was practically half his age, the wolf would let up. The last thing he needed was to feel like a frickin’ pervert.
“This is kind of embarrassing…”
Gabe made his way up to the girl, the wolf eagerly leading the way.
“What’s going on?” Gabe asked, pushing her bedroom door open.
He was startled to see Val in a fluffy pink robe, her long, beautiful legs fully visible. Was this some kind of a trap? Was she trying to get the wolf to surrender?
“I don’t know how to turn the shower on,” Val said.
Gabe looked at her squarely, realizing this wasn’t a ploy at all. The girl was humiliated having to ask him, and refused to meet his eye; her hands covering the chest of her robe and her legs pressed tightly together. This was not inviting behavior. She was flustered.
“All right. Come here and I’ll show you.”
Val took a step forward, still refusing to let go of her robe or meet Gabe’s eyes.
“You see this knob here? It pulls out. You turn the water to the temperature you want it first.”
As Gabe demonstrated, Valerie’s mood seemed to grow darker, but her voice remained bright when she laughed, embarrassed, “Oh. Every faucet I’ve ever had was kind of different. Thanks.”
“You’ve had a lot of faucets?” Gabe asked, sensing sadness in the girl’s voice.
“Yeah…I was in the system. Foster care. My parents didn’t want me.”
Gabe frowned, all traces of the wolf’s longing had gone and was replaced by the fierce urge to protect her.
“Well, you can stay here for as long as you want,” Gabe said, the wolf taking over before he had the chance to filter it out.
“Thank you, but you don’t have to say that. I think I’m going to shower now…”
“Of course!” Gabe exclaimed, suddenly embarrassed. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel like he was making excuses to stay in the room with her half naked.
“Thanks again,” Val called, ushering him out of the room and closing the door behind him.
Gabe stared at the door, just as flustered as Val had been, and then walked slowly to his bedroom. He sat on the bed and ran his hands through his thick hair. It was hard enough having the girl there in the first place. How was he going to handle this?
He stood abruptly and rummaged through his closet, taking down the small box of sentimental items he had left from his wife. He had put a lot of her things in storage already, knowing it would be too hard to stop grieving her with her clothes and possessions still around the house.
Gabe sat back down on the bed, opening the box carefully to look inside. The room was filled with the gentle scent of Molly’s perfume, and a lump formed in his throat. She would probably hate him for what he was doing with this girl. Val was just a sweet, innocent child that his wolf was trying to take advantage of. And now that she was living in his house, it would be all the easier for that to happen.
He would have to be on his guard more now than he ever had been before. Not only to preserve his love for his wife, but to protect the girl he had taken in. Not only from the dangers of the outside world and the shifters who were surely out to get her but from himself. The wolf simply wasn’t to be trusted. It had gotten him into a serious situation; one that could mean his claim on his late wife would soon mean nothing.
Gabe couldn’t let that happen. From then on out, he was going to have to have an iron will. Absolutely nothing could distract him from the task at hand. He had to find the men responsible for breaking into the shops, find out exactly what they were up to, and put a stop to it once and for all.
In the meantime, he would treat the girl no differently than he would have treated his own daughter, had he and his wife been blessed in that way. Unfortunately, Molly hadn’t been able to have children, and he wasn’t even sure he wanted them anyway. It seemed like a hell of a lot of trouble for little reward. He had his pack to act as a family. He didn’t need anybody else.
Gabe looked through the box for a little while longer, then sighed deeply. It wouldn’t do him any good to get all sentimental about the past. He had to focus on the present or he would never get anything done.
16.
Valerie woke up early the next day, surprised and relieved to realize she no longer had to wake up at the crack of dawn to get ready for work. But when she sat up and realized the room she was in was not her own, that it was decorated by the careful hands of the woman that Gabe was mourning, the woman he had loved more than he would ever love anybody again, her elation turned to distress and she sat heavily against the headboard of the bed, her chest tight with agony.
“What am I doing here?” she mumbled to herself.
She dressed slowly, taking articles of clothing out of the small duffel bag she had packed them in the day before. Gabe had told her to unpack and get herself comfortable there, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. After so long bouncing from house to house, family to family, she felt, once again, like a stray dog who couldn’t rest. There was no way she would be able to feel at ease in his home. She would never just simply unpack and “make herself at home” as he had so casually encouraged her to do. Without her own apartment, everything felt off kilter somehow. As if she were right back where she had started when her parents had driven her at such a young age, but old enough to remember, to the place that had solidified her deepest fear – that nobody could possibly love her.
And now, she was repeating the cycle again, but this time with a man she so desperately wanted to love. A
man she wished she could reach out and touch, whose arms, when they were around her, felt more like home than any crummy little apartment she would ever be able to settle into. Gabe had promised her protection, safety, security. His claim had been his word as a wolf, his vow that she would never be alone in this world again. So why was it that she felt more alone now than she ever had before?
A small lump forged itself in her throat, and Val tried to sigh it away, but it went nowhere. Soon, she was crying despite herself, quietly and desperately, wondering what in the hell she had done to deserve such a cruel life, where no matter how hard she tried, she was doomed to suffer in silence, all by herself. She was worthless. It was about time for her to accept that.
Suddenly, Gabe’s great, familiar arms were around her, and her head was pressed against his broad chest. His rugged scent filled her nostrils and she tried to force the tears to stop. But he stroked her hair, and, somehow, they just fell with more force, until she was sobbing, mourning all the things that had brought her to the point of sitting on the floor of a stranger’s house, wishing that the home he had promised her was something more than a glittering illusion.
“Come on, kid, it’s going to be all right,” Gabe’s deep voice said, rumbling her to the core and forcing another sob to her lips. “I know things are hard. They’re always hard, one way or another. That’s life. We all have things we wish were different about our lives. People and situations we miss; no matter how hard we try, we can’t change the past or the things that have happened to us. All we can do is try to greet each new day and live like it will be the last.”
It seemed an ironic thing for Gabe to say, considering he was clearly never going to be over his wife. He couldn’t possibly imagine the torment of having nobody in this world. Gabe was a shifter. A wolf. He would always have his pack, even if he didn’t have a wife or family. He knew where he was and where he belonged, and that was something Val would never have. She wished she could take comfort in his words, but they felt hollow.
RANGER (Forsaken Riders MC Romance Book 19) Page 16
