by K E Osborn
“It’s so good to see you, Boss. I’ve been so worried about you. How are you doing? You okay?” she asks quickly and all at once. I smile and nod. “You sure? You seem very quiet?” she asks as we walk over to her desk.
“I’m okay. Feeling a little lost, but I’m hoping being back here will bring me back on to an even keel.”
She smiles at me sympathetically and sits down at her desk.
“So, it’s really over between you and your gorgeous Rock then?”
I nod and swallow a lump in my throat. “Yeah, I ah… didn’t know he was a cop, so when I found out, I knew we were done. How could he possibly want to be with someone like me?”
Frowning. “Oh, c’mon, Boss. You’re awesome. Yes, your past might be a little tainted, but surely he can look past that, right? I mean I saw the way he looked at you when he was at the station. He loves you, Boss. That’s got to count for something, right?”
I shrug. “I don’t think so. He made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t want me. He said he felt disgusted that we’d slept together. That’s not something I think he can just look past you know?”
“I’m so sorry, Boss. I know you really liked him,” she says resting her hand on my arm.
“I did thanks, Angel. But enough of the sad crap, how’s things been here? Sorry, I haven’t been around for the past three weeks. I just needed a break, but I’m back now.”
She smiles and nods. “Things are okay, business is a little slow. Word is, people are a little cautious about coming here after the cops raided, so profits are down, but I’m sure it’ll pick up soon enough. People will get over it.”
“And Papi?” I ask and she bites her bottom lip.
“He hasn’t come in. He’s out on bail, but he’s lying low for a while. He’s in protective custody because he’s testifying against the motorcycle club. He said that he bought some drugs from the bikers, and then they decided he should hold onto a load of drugs before they move them. They told him if he didn’t do it, they would rape Star and then kill her. That’s why he had them, Boss. He wasn’t going to sell them or take them or anything, he was just storing them for the—”
“Well, he should’ve stored them at his house, not at my business. He brought us all down and this business into disrepute. Yes, I understand that he was placed in a tough position, but that’s what the cops are for. If the bikers threaten you, you go to the bloody cops to get help. I thought it was pretty simple to be honest. I’m so mad at Papi. I just wish he’d told me what was going on. I might have been able to help, you know?” I say frustrated and running my hand through my hair.
“Yeah, I know what you mean, but Papi was just looking out for Star the only way he knew how to… not that that’s an excuse. I just can kinda understand why he did it that way.”
I nod and huff folding my arms over my chest. “Yeah, I understand. Doesn’t mean I’m not angry as fuck though,” I reply and then I hear a loud squeal. I turn to look down the hall and see Rosie running toward me.
“Boss you’re back!” she screams loudly making me laugh as she launches herself at me.
I hug her back while she sways me from side to side.
“I missed you. I needed you around so I could whine about the Chief Justice, he’s such an ugly old fart. I’m so glad you’re back though. You are back, right?” she says looking at me raising an eyebrow as she talks in quick succession.
I chuckle. “Yeah, Rosie Cheeks, I’m back. And my offer of pulling the Chief Justice from your list is still on the table. If you really feel uncomfortable with him, I will pull his services if you want me to.”
“Nah, even though he’s ugly, fat, smells a little and is completely old, he’s growing on me slightly. Only slightly though, I’m not in love with the guy. Jeez calm down, Boss,” she says making me laugh. She’s so cute when she jumps to conclusions like that.
“You totally love him don’t you, Rosie?” I tease and she purses her lips and scowls at me.
“No, I do not! Stop lying, Boss,” she says getting defensive.
I giggle while Angel rolls her eyes behind Rosie’s back.
“Okay, well just know that if you fall out of love with the old fart, let me know and I’ll discontinue his contract,” I say and she nods and smiles brightly. Her mood swings give me whiplash.
“Okay, I’m just so glad to have you back. Plus, you always smell pretty,” she says sniffing me.
I laugh again and shake my head. “You’re amazing you know that?” I say to Rosie.
She opens her eyes wide and smiles. “What? Why?”
“Because you always manage to cheer me up, no matter how shit my mood is.”
“That’s my job, Boss, making people happy. But for you, I’ll do it for free,” she says as her mobile starts to ring. “Speaking of the old fart,” she says holding up her phone and swiping it while she walks off. “Hey studley, how’s my big teddy bear doing today?” I hear her say in her cute little voice as she walks off. I chuckle and shake my head.
“So, how’s things with Thor?” I ask Angel as she turns to face me her smile is so bright.
“He kissed me, after the whole arrest thing. We’re taking things really slowly. He’s taking me on a date tomorrow night. I’m so excited I could burst,” she whispers.
“I’m so glad, it’s about time you guys sorted your shit out,” I say as Star walks in and freezes on the spot when she sees me.
“Hey Star,” I say while I look at her and her eyes well with tears. “Hey, it’s okay hun.” She walks straight up to me and hugs me tightly. I wrap my arms around her and hold onto her just as tight.
“I’m so sorry, Boss,” she says through her tears. I pull back and look at her.
“Hey, hey, it’s not your fault. How are you? You doing okay?” I ask and she wipes the tears from her cheeks.
“I’m okay, I miss Papi, but I know the cops are looking after him. They keep following me everywhere too. I think Papi had them place some sort of protection on me as well. Don’t worry they don’t come in here, they just sit outside and wait for me. I just wish that the court case would be over sooner rather than later, you know? Those bikers are bad news and I just don’t want to see Papi getting hurt by them. I want them put away for good,” she admits and I nod and hold either side of her face and force her to look at me.
“Nothing will happen to you or Papi. The cops are watching you both, so you’re safe, and while you’re here, I swear no one will come after you. I won’t let them. To get to you they have to go through me first, you got it?” I say and she sniffs and nods her head. I lean in kissing her forehead and letting her go.
“Thanks, Boss. And I’m sorry things went down the way they did. I feel bad about your boyfriend too, but if he can’t see how amazing you are then maybe he isn’t worth your time, after all,” she says and walks past me down to her room.
My heart constricts when she mentions Hudson, but I try to not let it get to me. I gather myself and swallow the lump in my throat.
You will be okay, Violet!
“Do you need anything from me, Angel?” I ask as she watches me trying to compose myself.
“No Boss, I’m good. Is there anything I can get you?”
“Yeah, coffee would be amazing,” I reply and she nods getting up and walks off toward the kitchen. I straighten out my dress and move to my office. Even though this place and what it represents is the reason I lost Hudson, I still feel like maybe I do belong here. Maybe this place can be my sanctuary again, after all? My staff obviously missed me and it was nice having them welcome me back so lovingly. I’ve missed human interaction over the last three weeks, so being around happy and vibrant people is just what I need.
I take a seat on my white desk chair and face toward the window. As always the window is open and I pull the material back to I can see the ocean. The waves are crashing against the sand and I can’t help but remember the day that Hudson and I spent together just down there on the sand. It makes me miss him all o
ver again. I sigh and turn back around to face my desk when Angel walks in with my coffee.
“Oh great, thanks honey. You really are a godsend,” I say and she smiles and places it on my desk for me.
“You know Boss, if you ever need to talk or just need a shoulder, I’m here for you – just like you are for me, always. You’re like a sister to me, Violet, and I want you to know that I really want to be here for you. I feel bad that I knew what was happening with Papi and the bikers and didn’t tell you. That was wrong of me and it will never happen again. Full disclosure is what you’ll get from me from now on.”
“Thanks Angel, and thanks for being here for me. I’m okay just need to pick myself up, dust myself off and move on I guess.”
“Well, if you need to vent or talk or cry, I’m here. Anytime you need me,” she says and then walks out of my office.
It’s nice to know that she’s here for me, just like I would be for her. But the one person I really want to talk to, won’t talk to me. I know I’ve said it a lot, but I miss him, and the days drag by and suck without him. I take a sip of my coffee and open up my laptop to get started on the extensive amount of work waiting for me to get everything back on track.
A little while later I’m lost deeply in accounts receivable when I hear a gentle knock at my door.
“Come in,” I say looking up and exhaling.
Papi walks through the door and stops looking at me while biting his bottom lip and wrapping his arms around himself.
“Hey Boss,” he says quietly.
I swallow hard as all my anger bubbles and resurfaces as I gaze over his face. I exhale and stand up and walk toward him.
“Are you okay?” I ask quietly when I reach him.
He nods and looks down to the ground avoiding eye contact.
“Have the bikers made any more threats?” I ask folding my arms across my chest trying to keep my anger subdued.
“No, nothing as yet. The cops are always with me so I haven’t seen anything from the bikers since we were all arrested.”
“Be a man and look at me, Papi,” I snap.
He looks up and I can see his eyes are glistening with unshed tears. “I’m so sorry Boss,” he whispers.
“Save it, Papi. I get why you did it. I would’ve done anything to protect Star too, but why the fuck would you bring them here?”
He winces and inhales sharply. “I know I fucked up Boss—”
“Damn straight you did! What’s the one rule about this place? The one thing I said to you like I say to all of my employees, huh?”
He looks back down to the ground. “No drugs.”
“Exactly, no drugs… ever! What the fuck were you thinking, Papi?”
He exhales and runs his hand through his short hair. “I wasn’t. I’m not going to lie, Boss, I panicked. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew of your zero tolerance policy for drugs and I just didn’t know what to do. I brought them in when you weren’t here and stored them in my room. Angel saw and she begged me to tell you what was going on, but I swore her to secrecy, and I shouldn’t have done that either. I know she had a rough time dealing with it, that’s why she was smoking again, because of me and my idiocy.”
“I just… I just, don’t understand why you wouldn’t come to me? I would’ve tried to have helped you. Surely you know that by now?”
I know you would have Boss, but I know you hate the cops being here and going through all our paperwork. In some stupid way, I was trying to stop this from affecting you and the business. I was trying to keep it away from the cops and I was trying to handle it on my own. Fat lot of good that did me.”
“I’m so angry at you Papi, and I don’t know how to fix that. I trusted you. You were my third in charge for crying out loud. How am I supposed to trust anyone if I can’t trust you, huh?”
He shakes his head and winces. “I’m sorry, just know that I truly mean it.”
“Sorry? You’re sorry? Papi the business is declining. I have cops out the front of my building watching our every move, and now I have to be worried about bikers taking it out on us. Not to mention my relationship is totally fucked up because of what you did! And you say you’re sorry? We’ll I’m sorry, but a simple apology won’t fix this fuck up, Papi,” I yell and he frowns while his whole body tenses up. I know my relationship being fucked up is not really Papi’s fault, but I’m angry and he’s pissing me off so he can just deal with it.
“I don’t know what else to say. I fucked up, big time. But I did it for love, Boss. My love for Star, love for you and Cupiditas. I just wanted to make everyone happy, and instead I’ve made everyone miserable. I’m such a mess,” he says and his welling eyes finally break the seals and a tear slowly trickles down his face.
I take a deep steadying breath and try to calm myself. “I shouldn’t have blamed you for my relationship – I fucked that one up, not you. And as for the rest of it, well I guess I’m just angry that you didn’t feel comfortable enough to come and talk to me and tell me what was going on. That’s my fault. I must’ve made you feel that I was unapproachable and I never want that here. I always want my staff to come to me with any problem they have, no matter what it is. So, I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t do that and I failed you. I just want you to know that yes, what you did was wrong, but I understand it and even though I’m mad as hell at how it all went down, I still love you Papi.”
He looks up at me through tear soaked lashes and he sniffs and nods. “Thanks, Boss, but I know your rules and I know that I no longer have a place here. I know your no tolerance drug rules and I know that means instant dismissal. I’m just here to pick up my stuff and I’ll be out of your hair. I’m sorry though, and I know it’s just a word but I really feel like shit for how this all went down. I love you, Boss. I always have. You and Star are the lights of my life and I honestly hurt so much knowing that I betrayed your trust and let you down. Believe me I don’t blame you for hating me right now.”
I exhale as he goes to walk out of my office and I put my hand out and pull his arm, so he turns back to face me. “Papi, yes I have rules, and yes you broke them, but I guess rules are made to be broken,” I state with a slight smirk.
He looks at me raising an eyebrow in confusion. “What does that mean?”
“It means you don’t have to quit, and I’m not sacking you. I’m going against my better judgment here in saying this, but you can stay on until your court case if you want to. I know you want to spend more time with Star and being at home in protective custody is not going to achieve that. Plus, business is down and I need you around. Oh, and maybe because I love you like family I can overlook what happened, but it doesn’t mean I will forget it, Papi. Just remember that, and if you ever… and I mean ever… pull a stunt like that again, you will need the cops to protect you from me. You got it?”
He looks at me with his eyes open wide and his mouth agape. “Seriously? You’re not sacking me?”
“No, I’m not, but don’t make me regret this, Papi. I won’t be so nice if this happens again. You only get one chance. Fuck up again and you’re out for good. You got me?”
He nods and lunges forward embracing me tightly. “Thanks so much, Boss. I promise you won’t regret it.”
I hope like hell that I won’t live to regret giving him another chance. I’m not stupid though, I know after his court case Papi is going inside for a long time. Even with his cooperation, the cops will be going after him. So for him to spend quality time with Star before he’s put away, well that seems like the decent thing to do. He lets me go and gazes over my face with a smile.
“I really love you, you know that woman?” he says and leans in kissing me right on the lips quickly.
I laugh and swat at his face to get him off me. “Rack off, you buffoon,” I say and he smiles wiping the left over tears from his cheeks and kissing my forehead quickly, and then he runs out of my office and down toward Star’s room.
Even though everything is so fucked up that I can’t
think straight, I know life after Hudson is still going to be miserable, but with the way my staff have treated me today, I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m not as utterly alone as I’d originally thought.
I’ve been back at work for a week now and things are finally starting to settle and feel like some semblance of normal. I still think about Hudson every second of every day, and the pain of being without him is still as unbearable as it ever was, but somehow my workers are pulling me through it. I’m spending as much time here as possible, because the alternative of going home to the ever-present absence of my boys and the continual feeling of betrayal toward Hudson for being there, just does my head in. So I’m sleeping here, and I only go home to change. I’m used to sleeping on the sofa now, so whether it’s the sofa at home or the sofa at work doesn’t make any difference to me.
It’s getting toward the end of Papi and Star’s shift and I want them to spend as much time together as possible before Papi’s court hearing. I know what it’s like to lose the one you love, and I feel nothing but the utmost sympathy for Star. I know she’s hurting right now and I’ve offered to give them both time off to spend together, but they both wanted to keep working up until Papi’s court date, and who am I to tell them what to do?
I get up from my office chair and walk toward the reception area to see Angel’s on the phone so I head down to the kitchen instead. I need a break. The bookkeeping is doing my head in. I just need a moment where numbers aren’t involved and coffee always helps with that. So does vodka, but I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime in the last four weeks. I think it’s time to lay off for a while before my liver disowns me. I walk into the kitchen and I notice Papi and Star in an embrace. I smile while I watch them looking at each other lovingly. It’s wonderful that they’ve found each other, especially in their line of work. It’s always hard to find a partner that understands, but I guess if you both do the same thing then it’d be much easier to be okay with it. Unlike Hudson, who’s completely against everything Cupiditas stands for and I don’t blame him. It’s not a favourable profession to work in for most people, but someone’s gotta do it.
